Chapter 1: Forbidden

I had always loved Carlisle. He was was the one that made me the way I was. But lately, he was at the hospital way too much. I really needed my husband to be around. He never was. It was kind of a let down when I saw him walk through the door because I knew he would just run upstairs to his study and read or work on work. When would we be able to have some fun? Like going hunting together or even chasing each other around the forest. I loved to spend time with him, no matter what we were doing.

I craved to have him touch me. I can't even remember the last time I paths crossed that we had a moment with each other. And when we did get a chance all the kids would be over and we wouldn't be able to get in a word edge-wise to each other. I love all my children very much. And without them right now I would even be more lonely. Having them come to visit me and cook with me at least made the days go faster. I know I was always on the couch lately watching TV, I think I caught up with every show that was in my DVR.

Of all the kids I loved Edward the most. He had been with us since I had changed and was not only a dear friend but a true member of the family. He used to spend a lot of time with me before he met Bella. He would play the piano for me and we would even go for walks. Time spent with Edward was quality time to me.

I often wondered why I didn't fall in love with Edward instead. I know that Edward was upset that Carlisle changed me but soon he learned to love me. I charmed Edward by being so nice to him. It was too bad that I couldn't cook for him back then. I am sure that he would have loved me for it.

But it was Carlisle that I feel deeply in love with. The one that I felt everything for. But these days I was second guessing myself. And what is a vampire to do when they feel frustrated in a marriage they are stuck in forever?

Edward recently had bought the family a stable with horses. I loved spending time down there with my Arabian horse named Molly. I would brush her and ride her, and one of my favorite things was to challenge Edward to racing. There was nothing like watching two horses and that man being powerful.

I got up from the couch where there was nothing but a commercials on and headed to the stables. Maybe I would get lucky and catch Edward there. It was rainy and overcast in Forks today. It was my favorite racing weather. I loved just riding in the rain. And when there were other people racing with me it was heaven.

When I got to the door of the stables I could hear someone softly singing...it was Edward's voice. I was so glad he was down here too.