Title: The Distance Between
Author: Summer
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When Brooke is called to watch after James while Nathan and Haley seek advanced treatment out of state for Nathan's knee injury, Brooke and Lucas are forced to remember a night six months earlier that only happened because they thought they'd never see each other again.
Author's Note: I'm not totally sure if I want to leave it as a one shot or write a couple more installments. Your reviews would mean a lot in that decision. : - )
When the phone had rang the first time, Brooke Davis had been in no position to answer it. "Just ignore it," she'd moaned throatily as she led an employee into bed by the tie- the only accessory he still had on.
The second time the phone had rang, she'd been on her way out the door. "I'm already twenty minutes late," she'd mumbled in frustration as she almost lost her balance trying to hook her sandal onto her foot while hopping out the door.
The third time, Brooke had been in the middle of an important meeting with her fit models, and could hardly stop to answer the phone.
"But it's important," her secretary had told her, shifting uncomfortably in the doorway. Lisa Johnston knew how Brooke was about being disturbed when she was working, and it was no secret that the person to do so often got an earful once they were alone.
Brooke had sighed, her hands finding her hips in a fluid gesture, as if they were supposed to be there. And if the last year had been any indication, maybe they were. "So's this," she'd pointed out to Lisa with an annoyed roll of her eyes, "The preliminary designs for the Spring line need to be submitted by next Tuesday, Lisa."
"I know, Ms. Davis. The girl on the line- she says she's an old friend and she sounds like she's going to have a breakdown or something."
Brooke had glanced up in surprise, finally seeing Lisa for the first time that day. She had more of a backbone than most assistants, but she also knew to back down. "An old friend?" she'd repeated in surprise, the wheels turning in her mind. She hadn't talked to Peyton in a couple years, and Haley in even longer. And Rachel… well, the last time Brooke had seen her, she'd walked into her apartment to find Rachel on her couch. Calling ahead wasn't her style.
"From high school," Lisa had told her with a small nod, glancing apprehensively around the room before holding the phone out for her to take.
Brooke had stared at the phone for a long minute, chewing on her bottom lip as she tried to figure out what to do. She still wasn't a well-known designer, still in that stage where her success could crumble around her any second, and she knew taking a personal call during a meeting could be the beginning of the end. But it was an old friend, and an old friend who needed her, at that.
With a sigh, Brooke had nodded, her heels clacking across the linoleum floor as she took the phone from Lisa. "Hello?"
"I'm sure she'll be here any minute," Lucas assured Haley, barely restraining the urge to roll his eyes at how nervous she was acting. "And I'll stick around, anyway. It isn't like I'm going to take off the second you pull out of the driveway and leave James on his own."
He paused as he looked at Nathan, a lump forming in his throat. Nathan had lost at least twenty pounds due to his hospital stay, and it was strange to see his brother, a once powerful man with huge dreams ahead of him- crumpled over in a wheelchair, only a shell of himself. "Good luck in Boston."
Haley sighed, following Lucas' gaze down to Nathan, and the little bit of hope she'd been holding seemed to fizzle before Lucas' eyes. "Yeah… thanks," she murmured, but her tone sounded anything but reassured or even hopeful.
Lucas just nodded, pulling his sister-in-law into a bear hug, not letting go for a long minute, until he was sure she knew there was someone she could lean on the second she admitted she needed that. "Don't worry about James at all. I'm sure he'll be good," he told them as they departed, resting a hand atop the four and a half year old's head and mussing up his hair.
It was only about fifteen minutes later, shortly after James and Lucas had settled onto the coach so Lucas could read James a story, that there was a knock at the door.
Lucas' head whipped toward the door and he could feel his heart stop in his chest for a minute. He realized his grip on the book had tightened and forced a deep breath. Brooke. He hadn't seen her in a while, but memories of their last meeting still flooded his mind when he closed his eyes at night. "Come in! The door's open!" he called, hoping his voice didn't sound quite as strained to her ears as it did to his.
The door swung open slowly, and the sight of her took Lucas' breath away. Her hair was a brilliant mix of auburn and brown, hanging in waves down past her shoulders, and he was sure if he closed his eyes and thought for a minute, he'd remember what it felt like when her hair veiled his face, tickled his chest, slipped lower over his abdomen.
"Brooke!" His voice definitely sounded more squeaky than he'd hoped it would. Wincing slightly, he took the rest of her appearance in. She wore a purple camisole with a thin string of black lace under the bust and black slacks that hugged her every curve, no doubt her own creations. Her eyes, though, were what had always drawn him in. They looked hazel today, and so much flickered across them- excitement, unease, delight, fear, regret, annoyance, nervousness.
Most of the emotions weren't positive, he realized.
"Hey," she greeted, her own voice more subdued until her gaze locked on James. "And you must be James! You know, the last time I saw you, you were only this big." She held up her hands, about two feet between them. "I'm Brooke… your godmother."
He watched in amazement as she stooped down next to James, the way his attention gravitated toward her. There was no way James could even remember Brooke- the last time she'd been home was the Christmas vacation of her freshman year. Yet he still interacted with her as if she'd been around every day; it had always been part of Brooke's charm, being that open and welcoming.
Lucas sighed, scooting further down the couch to give Brooke and James a little more room, his gaze still burning a hole in Brooke's face. She bent over slightly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, and Lucas gulped.
.
.
His gaze locked on the brunette sitting across the room, nursing a glass of petit noir. She drummed the fingers of her right hand against the bar as she held the glass in the left, smiling and laughing just when she was supposed to at the man sitting next to her's bad jokes.
She filled out the dress she was wearing perfectly, as if she'd been poured into it, but it wasn't her figure alone that made him recognize her, even with her back turned to him. It was the mannerisms- how when she drummed her fingers against the bar, her thumb never touched the wood due to an injury she'd received almost ten years earlier, how she'd cock her head slightly to the side as the man talked because her hearing was better in her left ear, thanks to sitting a little too close to a speaker at a concert.
Before he knew what he was doing, he walked up behind her, a small smirk on his face. "Brooke Davis," he greeted her with a small smile, enjoying the shock in her expression as she spun around. "It is still Davis, right?"
"Luke!" she practically shouted, jumping out of her seat to fold him into her arms. "Oh my God, I haven't seen you forever! How have you been?"
Lucas hugged her tightly, unable to prevent the satisfied, slightly arrogant smirk that spread over his face as the guy who'd been hitting on her glared at him in annoyance. "I've been good," he told her as he pulled away, letting his eyes slip down her body before coming back up to her face. "Not as good as you have, I'm guessing."
Brooke laughed, glancing down at her dress. It was one of her creations, and it would certainly sell for a pretty penny, but it didn't really compare to the diamond and sapphire tennis bracelet adorning her wrist, or the large blue diamond shimmering from her necklace. "It's kind of like Cinderella, actually. I have to give them back at the end of the night," she admitted with a laugh, making a sweeping gesture to indicate the jewelry on her body. "What are you doing here?"
It was a fair question. A party at the Waldorf Astoria was far from Lucas' usual life, and he didn't exactly spend a lot of time in New York to start. "The main branch of my publisher's office is here. I came to negotiate a deal for my new book, and she had an invitation and needed a date."
Arching an eyebrow, Brooke glanced around. "Where is she?"
Lucas laughed, shaking his head. "She needed a date to escort her in, not to keep her company all night. What about you? Why are you here?"
"Yeah, I guess it is kind of far from the cold pizza and warm beer at the parties we're used to, huh?" Brooke asked, crinkling her nose as a caterer passed with a plate of… something, neither was really sure what, but neither intended to eat it, either. "I need to go to these things to represent Clothes over Bros. All the competing lines send people."
He nodded, even though neither was all that familiar with where the other's life had taken them, and he had a million questions.
As if reading his mind, Brooke gave him a dazzling smile. "Want to go somewhere quieter? I'd love to catch up."
"Mommy and Daddy have pictures of you, you know that?" James asked Brooke, pulling her out of her reverie. She glanced over at Lucas, a little surprised to see his eyes seemed glazed over, lost in a memory as well.
She forced a smile, glancing down at James. "They do? Do you want to show me some?" She wasn't really surprised Nathan and Haley had pictures of her, and it went a ways to explaining why James recognized her even though she hadn't seen him since he was about six months old, but it was still something to do.
James nodded, pushing himself off the couch- he was still small enough his feet dangled over the edge- and charging toward the television. He opened the door under its stand to pull out a massive photo album, unwieldy for such a little boy, but he managed to bring it back over to her.
"In here," he directed as Brooke took the photo album from him, before he climbed up onto the couch and settled into Brooke's side to look at the pictures along her.
Brooke smiled, glancing down at the little boy before flipping it open. The first page had pictures from the trip they'd taken to Rachel's cabin, where Nathan had proposed to Haley again, and the last page held pictures from their second wedding.
She flipped through them, gulping as she traced her fingers over some. There was one from the cabin, where she and Lucas were snuggled up in an oversized arm chair, a blanket over their laps as Brooke laid her head back against one of the chair's arms and they stared into each other's eyes. It took her breath away.
"Uncle Luke looked at you the way my daddy looks at my mommy," James told her with a small nod, as if reading her thoughts.
Brooke continued to flip through the pages of the album, her breath hitching in her chest as she landed on a full page of pictures of her and Lucas, dancing their last dance as a couple. She hadn't even realized there'd been anyone left in the room to take the pictures. "Yeah…" she responded softly to James, not sure what else to say.
"You and Uncle Luke love each other lots, huh?" James asked.
Brooke's gaze locked with Lucas's and she gulped, trying to find an answer in his eyes. Loved, she wanted to say, but that was too much for the little boy to grasp. How was a four year old supposed to understand how you can't imagine living without someone one day, and then the next you wake up without them and you're still alive, that it gets different over time but never truly easier?
"Yeah. We do," Lucas spoke up for her, pausing for a second as he tried to figure out how to phrase the rest of his thoughts to make James understand. "But love's complicated, James. You can love someone in a whole bunch of different ways. Like the way your mommy loves you isn't the same way she loves your daddy, but she loves both of you just as much."
"I know," James responded with a small nod, "But you guys don't love each other the way my mommy loves me."
Lucas whistled softly as Brooke opened the door to her apartment, glancing around. "This is a nice place, Brooke. I'm impressed." Even if he hadn't been told the apartment was Brooke's, he would've known from the design. There was a lot of purples and pinks, like her old place in high school, but the vibrancy of those colors was balanced out by black, an added sophistication to Brooke's palette in the last few years.
"Thanks," she murmured, not even bothering to look around. "It isn't much of a view, though."
Before he could stop himself, he felt his gaze drifting down Brooke's body, until it rested on her ass. "I think the view's great," he murmured, his gaze quickly snapping up when she started to turn around.
"Riiiight," she murmured, flopping back on the black leather couch in the living room and gesturing for Lucas to sit down next to her. "So how's your life been going? You said something about another book?"
Lucas nodded, following her to the couch and sitting down next to her. He was still a little surprised by just how warm and friendly he was; he couldn't imagine anyone else ever treating him so well after everything he'd put Brooke through. "Yeah. Well, you know I got the first one published, right? That I wrote about you in?"
"Yeah. I read it did pretty well, but I didn't know you were planning on turning the writing thing into a career."
Letting out a dry laugh, Lucas shook his head. "If only. It doesn't really bring in enough money for that, but I still write in my spare time, and my publisher wants me to write another. That's why I'm in New York."
"What are you going to write about me this time?" Brooke teased, a smirk coming over her face. It was obvious she didn't actually expect to be included in his second work, and why should she? They'd fallen mostly out of touch.
Lucas paused, studying her for a minute. They'd never see each other again, most likely. She had a life in New York- a good, demanding job, and a nice place to live. His life was firmly set in Tree Hill. It couldn't hurt to be honest if nothing could come of it, could it?
Brooke cleared her throat expectantly, a smile spreading across her face. "What? I ran into this crazy girl I used to know in New York, and she thinks she's important enough to get mentioned, so… this is it?"
He laughed, Brooke's quirky sense of humor lightening up the moment. "No…" He paused, licking his lips as he studied her. "It's going to be a work of fiction this time, but I guess if I were going to be writing about my life, I'd say something like…"
He trailed off, and she leaned forward in her seat, lips parted slightly in expectation. "What? C'mon, you can't stop there!"
"Like this…Five years ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I let the only woman I've ever loved walk out of it." He gulped, trying to avoid her gaze and focus his thoughts. "I thought that we were too different, that things would never work out. What didn't occur to me, though, is that most of the things we like most in life are things you never would've thought to put together originally. There's bread and butter, silver and gold, salt and pepper, peanut butter and fluff. And while they're good on their own, they're something special together."
There was a long silence, and then Brooke cleared her throat. He couldn't bring himself too look at her, too scared of what she'd see mirrored back in his eyes. "I don't think silver and gold works."
He didn't realize how close they were until that second, when he could feel her hot breath against her hair. It sent goose bumps down his spine, but before he had a chance to react, she'd pressed her lips against his.
"Pour noodles into water, wait seven to nine minutes," Brooke read aloud as she poured the contents of the macaroni and cheese box into the water, not actually watching what she was doing.
Lucas leaned over quickly and grabbed the cheese packet before it ended up in the boiling water, bumping into Brooke as he did so.
"Hey!" she responded in shock, dropping the box to the floor as she spun around. "What was that for?"
Lucas started to respond, but as he glanced down at Brooke it struck him how close they were standing and instead, he just swallowed and stared at her. "Uh, you were gonna boil the cheese," he managed to get out after a minute, not stepping out of her way.
She'd obviously realized their proximity as well, and for her part, her gaze kept drifting up to his lips before she'd look away quickly. "Oh… uh, thanks."
"Yeah, you're welcome." He rested a hand on the counter next to the stove, staring into her eyes for a minute. "Brooke…"
He didn't really know what he wanted to say, just that he needed to say something. He knew he should apologize for what he'd told her on that couch that night, for what had come after it, for making this all awkward. But he couldn't bring himself to do so, because he couldn't imagine a world in which having those feelings for someone like Brooke could be wrong.
"Yeah?" Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper, unsure.
"I-" He rested his other hand on the counter on the other side of the stove, pinning her between him and the stove without even realizing it. "I just- I'm sorry things are so awkward."
"So am I." She licked her lips, and he realized her breathing had gotten shallow.
"Yeah…"
Brooke was squirming, but she wasn't so sure if it was from the heat of the stove. "So…"
"So…" He lifted his hands again, bringing them to rest on her shoulders, as if he was going to pat her on the back. Instead, his hands slipped down her arms as he stared into his eyes.
She was shaking, and that definitely wasn't because of the stove. She could feel him moving closer to her, even though he was moving so slow she couldn't actually see it. Her eyes slipped closed and her mouth parted, waiting.
"Uncle Luke?" James called from the living room, his voice shocking them both back to reality. "Could you help me with the TV, please?"
Lucas sighed and took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut to collect himself before he pulled away from Brooke, disappearing into the living room.
"So…" Lucas murmured awkwardly as he flipped onto his back, staring up at the ceiling as he struggled to find the words appropriate for this situation.
Brooke bit her bottom lip, flipping onto her side and studying him for a minute before sitting up, carefully pulling the blanket with her while leaving Lucas with the sheet. "I gotta go shower."
Glancing up at her in surprise, Lucas nodded. He'd been expecting awkward pillow talk, but pillow talk nonetheless. He definitely hadn't thought she'd jump out of bed less than five minutes after the sex was over."…Okay."
"Yeah, so, uh…" Brooke pursed her lips together as she stopped to glance over her shoulder at Lucas, already halfway to the bathroom. Giving him a quirky smile where only the right corner of her lips curved up into a smile, she murmured, "See you around?"
He gulped, unable to believe that that was all she had to say. He couldn't think of anything better himself, but it just sounded so cold, so distant, so… final. It sounded like closure, and he didn't want any of that with Brooke Davis.
"Yeah, I guess," he said hesitantly, watching Brooke scurry off into the bathroom. He waited, hoping she had just been joking and she'd poke her head out the door and tell him, smiling, that the sex had been amazing, that they'd find a way to work things up, that this didn't really have to be it.
But of course, those words wouldn't realistically come. They'd both known this was a one time thing- really, that was the only reason they'd let their guard down enough to let one kiss turn into a full blown makeout session, and to let that carry over into the bedroom.
When he heard the water from the shower filling the pipes, he groaned, resting his head back on the pillows and staring up at the ceiling for a long moment. So this was how it would go. He'd finally told Brooke how he felt, they'd finally made love, and… he better be out of here by the time she was out of the shower.
She hadn't actually said that, but she didn't need to for him to know that was what she expected. God knew he'd done the same exact thing dozens of times before, even with Peyton.
Brooke was the only girl he'd never tried to rush out of his bed, now that he thought about it.
With a resigned sigh, he sat up, getting out of the bed and taking a minute to collect his clothes and throw them on, leaving with his shirt on inside out. He'd "accidentally" grabbed one of Brooke's shirts that was laying on the floor, not as a souvenir, but because it smelt like her.
He had a feeling that shirt would be finding a new home next to his pillow.
"He's finally asleep," Brooke murmured as she joined Lucas on the couch, and he let out a relieved sigh.
It was almost 11:00, but James hadn't been able to get to sleep easily without Haley there to tuck him in. He was definitely a momma's boy, through and through.
He didn't say anything, watching Brooke as she brought her legs up onto the couch, hugging her knees to her chest. It was the first time the whole day that it had occurred to him that it couldn't be easy for Brooke to be here. She'd left Tree Hill for a reason, and she hadn't really looked back.
"Why'd you leave?" he asked softly, not even realizing he'd voiced the question out loud until she turned to look at him.
She was silent for a long moment; the only noise either could hear was the quiet hum of the television in the background. Then, she spoke softly, so quiet he had to lean closer to hear. "There wasn't anything left for me here."
"Oh, Brooke…" He didn't really know what to say as he thought back to the end of high school. Not only had he chosen Peyton over her, but he'd then effectively shut her out of his life, and all his friends had taken the cue to do the same. Although no one acknowledged it- no one probably even realized it, Brooke had certainly spent the end of her senior year on the outskirts of the groups he'd once considered her "friends."
"I'm sorry," he told her softly, his gaze meeting hers.
"So am I," she told him quietly, and then she looked away.
So this is how it's going to be, Lucas realized as he leaned back into the he couch, finally tearing his gaze off of Brooke. Haley and Nathan would probably be in Boston for upwards of a month, trying out an experimental knee surgery and then grueling rehab to save Nathan's NBA dreams, and he and Brooke would be here, watching James together, only feet apart physically, but there was really miles of distance between them.
As Brooke curled up on her end of the couch, Lucas stared at the cushion between them. It was probably only 20 inches, but it felt like a ravine. And somehow, he couldn't even bring himself to cross it, to move across those eighteen inches and wrap her in his arms.
He wasn't even sure she'd like that.
