MWSPP:
Tales of the Five Marauders

by The Almighty Cheez It

Author's VERY IMPORTANT NOTE (read before story) ::

Hello, all, and welcome to yet another project of mine. Before you start reading, you must know that this entire multi-chaptered fic is not a single story with many installments; instead, each chapter is a singular oneshot that does not have anything to do with the oneshot following it in the next chapter. In some of these stories, Hermione is the fifth Marauder, having been born in their time and growing up with them. In others, Hermione has found herself in a time-travel accident and somehow becomes a Marauder that way. Not all take place in the seventies, either; some take place in Harry Potter's era where Hermione and MWPP are adults. Of course, in some fics, Hermione may not even be a fifth marauder, but if she is, I've given her the nickname 'Skye', due to her illegal marauder-animagus being an eagle.

This also doesn't include any specific ship; the oneshots will vary between Hermione/James, Hermione/Sirius, Hermione/Remus, Hermione/Peter, Hermione/Severus, and any other het shipping that could fit with the time frame. Some may be short and fluffy while others may be long and tragic. I will update as I write more oneshots, and won't stop till I get well over fifty. I also take requests, so feel free to send me a ship suggestion and/or plot suggestion.

This idea is not my own. I was inspired by Black-Rose23's The Misadventures of Padfoot and Moonstar and I want to give out a special thanks to her, for being a loyal fan of mine, writing amazing stories, and giving me the idea for this. This goes out to you, Black-Rose23!

Alrighty, then, onto the first oneshot!


Wine Red

Summary: The five Marauders attend Harry Potter's seventeenth birthday party.

Pairing: Hermione/Sirius.

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Scarlet and gold dominated Godric's Hollow as the day wore on, but nobody complained at the strictly Gryffindor form of decorations. Banners and streamers lined the doorframes, courtesy of Mrs. Potter, and there was a buffet table of the finest foods on display in the dining room.

The sun shone miraculously outside of the window, and below it were the younger children; Sarah Potter, Harry's younger sister, was playing with Remus and Nymphadora Lupin's two twin sons, Philip and Petrius. Hermione smiled at the children who were basically her own family. She tugged on her best friend's arm as they crossed the lawn, beckoning him to reach the front door with her.

"Come on, Sirius, they're all waiting for us," she said impatiently, though her smile showed that she was not really annoyed. "We were supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago!"

Sirius snorted at her. "Don't get your knickers in a twist, Hermione. I'm just saying hello to my goddaughter!" And, true to his word, Sirius ran over to little Sarah, who was only a good seven years old, and wrapped his arm around her in a welcoming hug. "Hello, love," he said to her, winking when she blushed. "You keep getting prettier, don't you?"

Sarah giggled loudly, wiggling in Sirius's arms. Though he was her godfather, she usually called him 'uncle', so it was no surprise when she said, "Hi Uncle Sirius!" She then noticed Hermione and smiled even wider, running into the older woman's arms.

"Aunt Hermione!" she squealed, wriggling in her arms when she leaned over to plant an exaggeratedly wet kiss on the cheek of her 'niece'.

"Sarah!" she exclaimed, ruffling her hair. "You keep playing with Phil and Pete; Uncle Sirius and I are going inside to greet Harry."

Sarah smiled again at the mention of her older brother, but nodded as she immediately ran off to tackle Philip with tickles before Petrius joined in.

Sirius and Hermione continued linking arms as they finished the walk to the front door, both with smiles on their faces after their encounter with the lovely child. "So, Uncle Sirius," Hermione mocked as she pushed open the front door and walked inside with her best friend. "Why are you here accosting me to this party, when you should have a beautiful woman on your arm like usual?" She berated herself for asking such a question; he probably had a lovely woman waiting inside his flat for him, while Hermione spent her lonely nights wishing she was the one that Sirius would take home to ravish.

Sirius sent a sideways glance at her as they walked through the entryway, removing her coat wordlessly and hanging it on the coat rack. He then smiled lopsidedly at her, throwing his arm around her. He dearly wished he could tell her that he already had a beautiful woman on his arm and needed no other, but if anything, she would just scoff and assume he was joking. Instead, he outwardly grinned and said smoothly, "Oh, please, love. Do you really trust me to bring a woman to Harry's birthday party? I wouldn't see him all night."

His roguish grin and joking demeanor soothed Hermione a bit, but she was still hurt by his comment, not even wanting to know how many women he had slept with in the past fortnight. She wondered if she would ever get a chance to be the one woman to make him settle down. Her musings were fortunately interrupted by the arrival of a welcome face.

"James!" Hermione grinned, running into the open arms of her other best friend. She was perhaps closer to James than she was to Sirius, but in a different way; James was the brother Hermione had never had. She planted a kiss on his cheek, before smiling at the woman beside him.

"Lily," she greeted softly as James turned to greet Sirius. As Hermione hugged her closest female friend, she noticed that James and Sirius were whispering and casting furtive glances at her, but she shrugged it off as some strange male thing.

"Harry's in the living room with the other guests," Lily said, her tone just as soft and sweet as Hermione's. The two women locked arms and walked into an overcrowded room with lots of teenagers.

"Oh, dear, it reminds me of James's own party, do you remember?" Hermione asked Lily, laughing softly as the guests started to notice the newest arrival to the party. Several screams of her name could be heard before she was literally knocked out of Lily's grasp by an ambush of people.

"Can't – breathe!" she gasped, though she wrapped her arms around whoever would fit. She smiled, seeing that Harry was right in front of her. She was very close to Harry; he considered her an older sister, like James did. Also latched onto her at the moment, she noticed, was Ronald Weasley, his two older twin brothers, and Nymphadora Tonks.

"You guys, let the woman breathe," she heard Sirius say from a short distance away. As they all laughed and let go of their grip, she shot Sirius a thankful glance, to which he simply winked in response. She turned around to face Fred and George, just so Sirius wouldn't see her flaming cheeks.

"Hermy!" Fred exclaimed, to which Hermione glared in return. He leaned down to place a chaste kiss on her lips, to which George followed suit seconds later, and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I still won't have a threesome with you, you know," she said monotonously, but the boys hardly looked deterred.

"One day, Hermy," said George, pinching her arse lightly and running off with Fred before Hermione could chase them down and hit them with something heavy. She laughed as they crashed right into Bill, who started yelling at them to get him a steak.

"Silly boys," she heard a silky voice whisper in her ear. "They're much too young for you."

Hermione whipped around at the sound of his voice and smiled when she came face-to-face with Sirius again. "They are, aren't they?" she said experimentally, deciding that a bit of shameless flirting was alright since they were celebrating a birthday. "I need someone much older and wiser to court me," she added with a wink, running a finger up his chest inconspicuously until it reached his jawline and then his lips, which were softer than she imagined. His eyes were wide, never having seen his best friend act this way, and she decided it was time to go back to her normal self. What had gotten into her?

"Well, I'll see you when they cut the cake, Sirius," she said as farewell, removing her finger and walking away toward James and Lily again.


Sirius watched her go, his deep grey eyes glinting mischievously. She wanted to play the flirtatious card, did she? He could easily play along. He sipped his red wine, turning away to go find Remus.

After a few moments of searching, Sirius found Remus near the study, with his wife. Sirius smiled at the lovesick pair, who were currently copping a feel before the teenagers noticed they were missing. Sirius cleared his throat with a doglike grin, causing the couple to jump apart in shock.

"Was that necessary, Padfoot?" Remus asked warily, latching onto Nymphadora's arm as he realized who had broken them up.

Sirius nodded innocently before locking eyes with his best friend. "Listen, Moony, I need your help," he said seriously. Ignoring Nymphadora's raised eyebrow, Sirius dragged Remus away from all prying ears. He gestured toward Hermione across the room, who had her arm tucked in Lily's while both women sipped their wine and laughed at something James said.

"I'm going to get James," Sirius said. "I could use his help too."

Remus understood what this meant immediately. "Shall I fetch Peter?" he asked needlessly. At Sirius's nod, he departed to go find their fourth friend.


Hermione and Lily watched as Sirius came up behind them, mumbling some incoherent apology before immediately latching onto James's arm and dragging him into a corner where Remus and Peter stood.

"Oh, dear," said Lily, grinning and shaking her head. "All four Marauders in one place. What do you think they're planning?"

Hermione could only shrug as she, too, watched the 'meeting' across the room with narrowed eyes. Exactly what did they have up their sleeve?

"You don't suppose they're planning a prank for Harry, do you?" asked Lily, suddenly worried that her husband and his friends were going to inadvertently ruin Harry's birthday party.

Hermione faced Lily, finally turning away from the group of grown men. "You forget, Lily, that I'm a Marauder too. If they were planning a prank, they would have invited me to join in."

Lily smiled at that as her fears seemed crushed. "Yes, that's true, I suppose. But that leads me to the conclusion that whatever they're talking about has to do with you, Hermione."

Hermione jumped at this revelation, not even acknowledging the fact that the men were all sneaking inconspicuous glances at her. "I wonder if this has to do with what I did to Sirius," she mused, mostly to herself.

"What?" asked Lily, ignoring the sudden explosion coming from the dining room and the shouts emitting from Mrs. Weasley as she desperately tried to chase after a grinning set of Weasley twins. "What are you talking about, Hermione?"

Hermione grinned impishly as she told Lily about how she had flirted with Sirius before, enjoying the shell-shocked reaction of the other woman. Lily was, of course, aware of Hermione's affection toward the man, but she had never seen a totally flirtatious side of Hermione before. Apparently, Sirius hadn't either.

"Come on, Hermione, let's fill that glass of yours and go check on Sarah and the twins," Lily conceded at last, leading her lovesick friend out the door.


"Stop staring, Wormtail, or she'll see you!" Sirius hissed at his friend, grabbing his arm to avert his attention back to the matter at hand.

Peter muttered something unintelligible as Sirius took charge again. "I mean, she actually touched my lips for Circe's sake! That's not like Hermione!"

James and Remus exchanged a glance before bursting out laughing at Sirius's expense. At his icy glare, Remus cleared his throat and prepared to clarify the reason for their laughter. "Well, mate, perhaps she could actually share your affections for her."

"Affections?" Sirius scoffed, before shaking his head as though to dismiss the thought.

"Oh please, Padfoot, you haven't slept with a woman in months. She's obviously gotten you all riled up, and if 'touching your lips' isn't proof enough that she wants you, then we don't know what is," Peter said, somewhat annoyed with Sirius's clueless-ness.

Sirius stared at his three friends in shock. They were completely right. "Well, I do like her," he admitted, knowing that they had known that for a long time. "But now I need a plan –"

"Sirius, mate," James interrupted impatiently, "Hermione is like my sister. I know her better than anyone, even Lily. Believe me when I say that she wants nothing more than to rip off your clothes and shag you senseless. Hell, if it wasn't my son's birthday and the risk of scarring him for life, she would probably take you on the damn dining table."

Remus nodded his head in agreement. "Just go up to her, you great prat, and kiss her. That's how I won Nymphadora over, after all."

Sirius sighed in defeat, his eyes following Hermione as she and Lily walked out to the yard.


"Happy birthday, Harry!" the room screamed as the now-seventeen-year-old boy blew out the candles on his vanilla birthday cake (much to Remus's chagrin, of course). Harry blushed as his mother gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek before cutting the cake into pieces for all the guests.

Hermione smiled as Harry sought Ginny, his two-year girlfriend and wrapped his arms around her before getting caught in a romantic birthday kiss. Whistles were now heard through the many cheers and Harry's entire neck had gone scarlet with embarrassment before he took Ginny by the hand and led her to another room.

"Think they're about to go shag with his Mum and Pop in the house?"

Hermione jumped as she heard Sirius's smooth voice. Some of her wine slipped onto her white blouse, and she rolled her eyes as Sirius offered to lick it off.

"Kiss my ass, Sirius," she said sarcastically, holding up a hand to prevent any innuendo. She Scourgify-ed her shirt before setting her wine on the table and crossing her arms over her chest as she faced her best friend.

"Shag? Probably not. Snog until his next birthday? That sounds more likely," Hermione responded to his first question. Sirius chuckled at her answer before grinning brightly.

"You know, the next birthday coming up is yours," he pointed out, to which she groaned. At her last party, the Marauders had made it their personal goal to banish all the clothing in her entire house and force her to attend her party nude. She had run downstairs naked in a fit of rage, before seeing the amount of guests that had attended, blushing, and running back upstairs and locking herself in her room for the rest of the day.

"I don't think I'll invite the three of you to the next party," she said, grimacing at the memory.

"Of course not," Sirius agreed charmingly. "Only me. I wouldn't want the other three to see that precious, porcelain body of yours. That's for my eyes, right, love?"

Hermione rolled her eyes at him. "I'm sure you have your fine share of porcelain bodies to look at in your free time," she said dully. "No need to disappoint you with my own."

Sirius frowned at the way that his flirtations had backfired. "Why do you keep implying that I'm a whore?" he asked her, now serious. "I haven't had a woman in my bed for months, Hermione. I'm saving myself for someone."

Hermione had, at first, felt her heart soar when he mentioned being sexually inactive for months, but the moment that he mentioned he was saving himself, she felt her heart constrict in her throat again. Of course there would already be a woman to settle him down. "Oh. And … who is the lucky girl? Do I know her?" she asked, looking around the dining room for another woman their age.

Sirius stared at her, looking absolutely dumbfounded, before bursting out in laughter. Hermione, who failed to see what was so funny, glared at him. "Why are you laughing?" she asked, feeling embarrassed and hurt.

"Gods, Hermione! And they call you smart!" Sirius took a moment to gain back his breath, before shaking his head in disbelief, his obsidian eyes staring her down. "I was trying not to be painfully obvious here, but honestly! It seems I have to spell it out in letters for you!"

"Spell what out?" she spat irritably, completely insulted by his words.

Sirius chuckled again at her obvious anger, awaiting her reaction when he confessed his feelings. He took a step forward and leaned in closely, so that his lips were hovering in front of hers. "Let's skip the spelling and get straight to the point here, shall we?" he asked cockily.

Hermione gaped at him like a fish as he stood there, mere centimeters from her face. When he broke the distance between their lips and kissed her, she was still stiff and unmoving for a moment, before her mind screamed at her to respond. Wrapping her arms around him, she smiled onto his mouth. How could she have been so dense?

Pulling away, Sirius couldn't hide his own grin. "Get it now, love?" he asked her.

She blushed again, the tinge on her cheeks matching the shade of her swollen lips. The very lips that Sirius had kissed seconds before. The lips that were, ironically, wine red.


Woohoo, yay for my first oneshot in this series! There will be many more to come, as soon as the muses come to me. Leave a review and tell me what you think, yeah?