Auditions for a "Girlfriend" for Raito
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Author's Notes: This story is what results from six hours of boredom and a creative mind. I hope everyone enjoys this. I know that I definitely enjoyed writing it! Sorry about the spelling/grammar errors if there are any…
Sorry about the errors in the original one...thank you Pineapple-Sister for pointing them out...
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Raito is sitting at a table in a small auditorium with a long list of names lying on the table. The room, otherwise, is empty.
-Door Opens- Misa Amane Enters-
Raito: Welcome. Take a seat. Name, please?
Misa: Aw…Raito!
Raito: I'm sorry. I have no one with the name "Raito" on the list. Please exit through the door on the left.
Misa stares at Raito with her mouth open. She stands up, crying, and runs towards the door. She runs to push it open, but, of course, it is a pull door. Raito laughs as she smacks the door with a soft thud.
-Door Opens- Kiyomi Takada Enters-
Raito: Talking to himself. She was annoying anyhow.
Takada: Fearfully. Hi Raito.
Raito: Welcome. Take a seat. Name, please?
Takada: Kiyomi Takada.
Raito: And what do you think makes you a good candidate for a girlfriend?
Takada: I'm smart, I'm pretty, I've got a good job, I adore Kira…
Raito: Coldly. Shut up. You're not that great. Stop lying to yourself. Next.
Takada looks confused, but gets up to leave. She pulls open the door, to Raito's dismay, and walks out into the hall where she is confronted by Misa Amane.
-Door Opens- Matsuda walks in.-
Raito: What the hell? I KNEW you were gay! Just turn around and leave. I'm not looking for guys.
Matsuda looks crestfallen, but he obeys, as always.
-Door Opens- Rem Enters-
Raito: Oh great…
Rem: How dare you hurt my Misa's feelings! I'm going to KILL you!
Rem pulls out her notebook to write Raito's name, but she "dissolves" into dust.
Raito: Phew. That was close. Next.
-Door Opens- Aizawa walks in-
Aizawa: I know you are Kira!
Raito: Calmly. Nope, the name's Raito. If you are looking for the Kira auditions, those are next door.
Aizawa, clearly fuming, turns to exit. Once his back is turned, Raito pulls out the Death Note, and writes Aizawa's name.
-Door Opens- Mogi walks in.-
Raito: I AM NOT GAY! LEAVE NOW!
Mogi turns around as he mutters something about being the faithful one when he comes face-to-face with the dead Aizawa and passes out.
-Door Opens- Matsuda Re-enters-
Raito: Glances up from his sheet and turns red. You already were here…I'm not gay!
Matsuda: Aw…give me a break…I'm your #1 follower in the SPK…
Raito: Glares at Matsuda. You are so ignorant! If I wanted someone that dumb, I would be dating Misa!
Matsuda: Clearly distracted. Misa Misa's here? Runs out door screaming Misa Misa like a crazed fan.
Raito: With head leaned on his hand. Gosh. I need a break. Raito gets up and walks out of the room.
In the corner of the hall you see Matsuda chasing after the crying Misa, Takada nursing a black eye, and many other excited people.
Everyone: OMG! It's Raito!
Raito takes off in the opposite direction of his crazed fans and runs into the bathroom where he locks the door.
Raito: Phew. That was close. Raito turns around and comes face-to-face with three very familiar people…
L: Hello, Raito.
Near: Haha…Kira!
Mello: Twitches. Banana?
Raito: Eyes wide and mouth open. Um…hi… Backs up trying to get away from those whom he thinks are psychotic stalkers. His back hits the wall with a soft thud. He starts groping across the wall for the door.
L: Don't worry Raito. We won't hurt you…much. He starts to move towards Raito. Near smiles maniacally and begins to laugh. Mello pulls out a chainsaw.
Mello: Turns on chainsaw. Fruit salad!
Raito wakes up screaming in terror. He hears rough laughing that sounds like nails on a chalkboard.
Raito: Angrily. Ryuuk! What's so funny? Raito glares, realizing what Ryuuk was laughing about.
Ryuuk: Stops laughing and maintains a serious expression.
#1: You woke up screaming like a little girl.
#2: You drooled on my Death Note. Oh yeah, and by the way, you better have that cleaned.
#3: Starts laughing. You wet yourself.
Raito: Well, I'm glad you are entertained. Thinks for a moment. Hey, are you sure that I can't kill you by writing your name in your Death Note? Raito reaches for the Death Note, and Ryuuk begins to laugh harder.
Raito: What is it?
Ryuuk: You never let me get to #4.
Raito: Fine. How much more embarrassing could it be?
Ryuuk: #4: You made out with your pillow and called it Matsuda.
Raito throws the before mentioned pillow at Ryuuk.
Ryuuk: Hey! That's no way to treat a lover!
THE END
Ryuuk: Man, humans sure are interesting…
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Author's Note: So…how'd you like it? Please tell me! Submit a review! I need motivation before I begin to write another story!
