Caution To The Wind
Disclaimer: These characters are owned by creators, producers, etc., not me, I'm just borrowing them.
Not Interested
Tim tore into the sandwich wrapper as he walked through the lunchroom, oblivious to anything but the food in his hand. It was 1:45 in the afternoon and with the way his day was shaping up, he figured he had about 15 minutes till the next call out came. It looked like this was going to be one very long day. Considering he had been called out three times since 5:30 AM and had mountain of evidence still waiting to be processed, his assessment was spot on. He quickly bit into the soggy, chicken salad sandwich surprised and disappointed to discover it was actually tuna salad that he was tasting. Looking at the wrapper, he saw it had indeed been mislabeled as 'chicken salad'.
'Figures,' he thought. Oh well, it was eat it or go hungry, he mused, because it was probably going to be a long time until he got another chance to eat. He chewed, swallowed and hurriedly took another bite, unaware that he was being watched from across the room.
"Timmy," a familiar voice called to him. He looked around, his eyes settling on Alexx sitting alone with her lunch at a nearby table. He nodded back a greeting, but kept walking, there was no time for chit chat . She motioned to him as he drew closer.
"Have a seat. Join me," she offered, pointing to the open seat across from her.
"Can't. Gotta mountain of evidence waiting for me," he told her, distractedly. She shook her head disapprovingly.
"Surely you have a moment to sit and finish that before you choke," she admonished, pointing to the half eaten sandwich in his hands. "Even you can take ten minutes."
He stopped a moment, avoiding her eyes as he thought of every reason why he didn't have time to sit, but this was Alexx and no excuse was going to fly. He grabbed a chair and sat quickly, looking like he might dart out of it any second. She handed him a napkin since he was without, yet in need of one.
"Thanks," he said, grabbing and wiping his mouth haphazardly before launching into the rest of his quick lunch. "Do you have that tox report for me?" he asked between bites.
"Not yet. These things take time, you know that."
"Time's the one thing I don't have today," he said with a heavy sigh, wishing he had remembered to get a drink.
"I'll page you when I get it, don't I always?" she said with a friendly smile. "You look beat. It's a tough one today. Everyone's running around, looking all stressed. Maybe the afternoon will quiet down." He cast a doubtful look in her direction. "Well, we can always hope," she said in response to his dubious expression. He needed to get going but didn't want to be rude. "We still on for tomorrow night?" she asked. Now he was confused, as well as anxious to get a move on. He didn't think he was working tomorrow night, but he didn't quite know what she was referring to. His eyebrows raised inquiringly as he waited for her to fill him in on whatever it was he had forgotten about.
"You don't remember do you?" Her expression was one of amusement, which did little to alleviate his confusion. He shook his head. "We have dinner plans," she began, surprised he still showed no indication of remembering, "at that new restaurant on the water. Ring a bell yet?" He just shook his head, his eyes blank. "I have a free night with no husband or kids and thought it might be nice for us us to catch up. Have some social time out of this environment. I told you about this last week."
"Sorry, I forgot," he said, then added grudgingly, "I guess I can make it, if I'm not stuck here."
"Baby, that's the whole reason for going out in the first place. You need some time away from here." He began to protest, but she stilled him before he got a word out. "It's not good for you to spend all of your time here. I don't imagine you've got much of a social life going on. How could you, you're either here, or what? Sleeping?" she asked. "What you really need is someone to take care of you, not that you'd ever let anyone close enough to do that," she added under her breath.
He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and glanced at his watch. At this rate, he was never going to catch up with his work. He also, most definitely, didn't want to be discussing his life right now, or as Alexx seemed to think, his 'lack of a life', but she was not to be deterred.
"I worry about you," she continued, looking at him with concern in her eyes.
"I get out plenty," he defended. "And I certainly don't need anyone taking care of me," he added emphatically, just so she'd know he heard her previous comment. She eyed him critically and waved her hand with disdain.
"I don't mean that clubbing you do with Eric. Too much of that is no good for you, either of you. Don't you get tired of it?" she asked, but didn't wait for an answer. "You need something more solid in your life."
"No I don't." He looked at her with an expression of pained tolerance. "I don't have time for anything else," he answered, no longer trying to keep the irritation out of his voice.
"That's just an excuse," she began, only to be startled by the sound of both their pagers going off simultaneously.
He groaned and looked at the message flashing on the pager screen. Figures, he thought, 15 minutes, just as he expected. At least this conversation was over. He wasn't happy about having to go on another call out, but at least it saved this chat from delving further into his love life. As much as he liked Alexx and never minded the 'mothering' she foisted on him, this was not territory he wanted to get into with her, or anyone for that matter.
"Looks like we're both wanted," she said resignedly, as she cleared her stuff off the table. "Timmy, I'll be expecting you tomorrow night. Don't disappoint me," she warned.
"Yeah, fine. I'll try. See ya later," he said hastily and took off from the table, depositing his garbage along the way. She shook her head at his receding form. "That boy is never gonna let anyone get close," she said to herself, before making her own way out.
Tim spent the remainder of the day frantically playing catch-up and never quite succeeding. Throughout the afternoon and early evening, he grew more and more irritated, snapping at anyone who crossed his path and just generally being unpleasant. It would've been easy to blame his bad mood on the day's stress or even fatigue and although those two played a part, he knew there was more to it than that. More likely, his brief lunchtime conversation with Alexx was what was bugging him.
It wasn't that he was irritated with Alexx, he could never truly be mad at her. For some reason the two of them had hit it off from the beginning, quite possibly because of his interest in medicine and she'd had a soft spot for him ever since. But the conversation at lunch had made him uncomfortable. She meant well and he was used to her fussing over him, but his love life just wasn't up for discussion.
He trusted Alexx, as much as he did Horatio and if he needed advice he'd have no qualms about going to her, but she was wrong about what she thought he needed. He
didn't need, or want, 'someone to take care of him' as she'd put it. Quite the opposite as a matter of fact. He was perfectly content to do without the complications of a relationship.
Relationships served a purpose, but for the most part they left people dependent on someone else for their happiness and that was almost always a recipe for disappointment at best, disaster at worse. The 'worse' he saw every day. That was enough for him. He couldn't possibly be held responsible for someone else's well being or happiness. Surely he'd end up screwing it up. That was not a risk worth taking, just the thought of it unnerved him.
He had neither the time nor inclination for a relationship that came with expectations and he was comfortable with that, so why was the conversation with Alexx bugging him so much? What nerve had she touched? No time to think about it. He just wanted to get out of the building and go home. He hoped to catch at least a few hours of sleep tonight. Tomorrow would be another long day.
Tomorrow. 'Shit,' he thought. He was supposed to have dinner with Alexx tomorrow. Ordinarily he'd be happy to dine with her, but if lunch today was any indication of why she wanted to spend time with him, he'd prefer to skip it. Alexx was a good friend he reminded himself, he couldn't stand her up. He'd just have to steer the conversation to safer topics. Maybe he'd ask Delko to join them, then remembered it was Eric's night to pull overtime. Looked like it would be just the two of them. He winced at the thought. This day just needed to be over.
tbc
