Yosh! Hello everyone XD This my first contribution (read: Fanfic) for the Durarara! Fandom XD Shizaya totally became my OTP for this fandom, and I really couldn't help falling in love with them X3
Right, so anyway, I started writing this fic after getting the idea from a couple of doujins (Ai wa Ikebukuro o Sukuu and Going Under) I mean, the whole love-hate switches are really very cool XD (But please don't expect this to be any similar to those doujins though ^^;)
-Hate-
"Hey Izaya?" Kishitani Shinra called as he walked back into the living room of his apartment. Perched on his sofa was the addressed info-broker, his arm bandaged from the wrist all the way up to his shoulder.
"Hm?" the crimson-eyed raven asked, his face lighting up when he saw the bag of what he knew was Russia Sushi take-out in the doctors hands.
Shinra stared at him curiously for a few moments, a contemplative look in his face. "I know it's not really any of my business and all, but I just really have to ask. Why do you keep provoking him?" the bespectacled young man asked as he took a seat, handing the bag to the informant.
He gladly took it. The informant had just appeared that afternoon in front of the underground doctor's apartment, sporting a large gash on his right arm, and Shinra didn't even have to ask to know where it came from. After all, Orihara Izaya does not get hurt easily, but there are the odd days that he'd actually get caught by the convenience-store trash cans, street signs and vending machines so eagerly thrown his way, and Shinra is always the first person he goes to to get fixed.
Safe to say this has become a normal routine really.
"Because it's fun" the informant replied to the question, grabbing a piece of ootoro from the take-out bag.
"I thought you said you hated him" Shinra questioned, his facial expression completely neutral aside from the wide grin on his lips, which the informant has long since been used to.
"What is this? An interrogation?" Izaya raised a brow, looking at the doctor suspiciously, but decided there's no harm in answering the question. After all, the answer he gives has been completely obvious since high school. "I do hate him, absolutely detest him. You and everyone in the world should already know by now how much I want him dead"
Shinra nods, the smile still clear on his face as he fixes the glasses on the bridge of his nose. "Yes, but why, exactly, do you hate him?"
Izaya frowns, the answers already flitting through his brain. 'Because he's unpredictable. Because I can't, for the life of me, at all predict what it is he's going to do. Because he can't be controlled. Because he has so much power, and yet he doesn't even know what to do with it. Because he's a monster, and yet even with that he still has the capability to act like a human being.
Because he's so much fun to play around with. Because he would chase me, no matter what it is he's doing he would always always chase me. And I would always run away.
Because he hates me, he's hated me since he first saw me. Because we always try to kill each other.
Because I just can't get myself to kill him.
Because he loves humans too. Because I can only see the human part of him from afar, because he refuses to show it to me.
Because he hates me.
Because I hate him.
Hate hate hate hate hate….
I absolutely hate…'
"Because he's Shizu-chan" is what he says, a malicious grin growing on his face as he stuffed the piece of ootoro in his mouth, chewing slowly then swallowing.
Shinra watched silently as the informant took yet another fatty tuna from the bag. There was no evident change in the raven's expression as he devoured the contents of the take-out bag, and the scientist couldn't hide the pout on his face.
You see, Kishitani Shinra decided to conduct an experiment, something he usually does really, and right now he was conducting the experiment on his old friend Orihara Izaya, via slipping drugs into the sushi, and he was definitely anxious as to what the results could be.
To say he was scared at what the informant would do to him when he finds out was an understatement, and he was indeed very very worried about the possible side effects the drug could cause, but with Shinra, and the Kishitani's in general, Science comes first.
And maybe… just a tiny bit, his experiment can somehow bring forth just a little bit of peace in Ikebukuro.
Another piece of tuna slipped into the informant's mouth, but this time, instead of savouring the dish like what Orihara Izaya usually does, he blanched; almost vomiting at the taste of the fatty tuna. His eyes widened.
"Soo…" Shinra began, gulping a bit through his smile. "How are you feeling Izaya?" he asked.
The informant immediately glared at him. And he flinched. "You slipped something in the food didn't you?" the ruby-eyed raven growled. Shinra gulped.
"Hehe? I actually thought you'd find out sooner" he confessed, rubbing the back of his neck. The crimson glare did not waver, but the informant himself didn't seem like he was about to lash out any time soon. "But anyway" the doctor perked up, "How are you feeling?" he asked again, this time with a wide smile.
The informant did not break eye contact, opting to ask instead, in a very menacing voice. "What did you do?"
The scientist gulped yet again. "I-I-It's not anything s-serious Izaya. It's just a drug I recently created—"
"And what does it do?" he was cut off.
Shinra took a deep breath. "It literally switches your likes and dislikes" he stated, grin intact even under the intensified menacing aura. "Basically, you will hate what you like, and like what you hate. I figured it was worth a try since, you know… you hate Shizu—"
"DON'T You dare say his name in front of me" the informant was suddenly on him, a fistful of the doctor's coat gripped quite tightly within his slim, ivory hand. Shinra flinched quite harshly at the fierce, almost psychotic look on raven's blood-red eyes.
"W-W-wait a minute… I-Izaya…?" the doctor spoke, infinite questions suddenly bursting forth from his mind. The informant seemed to calm just a bit, letting him go.
"So… switching. How incredibly cliché" Izaya stated, grabbing his trade-mark fur coat before walking towards the door. "Don't think you'll get out of this unscathed Shinra" he grinned, just a little more evil than usual, before walking out.
The doctor in question was now sprawled on the floor, breathing in shallow gasps as he thought of what he might have just done… 'That… was scary…' he thought as he felt cold sweat on his head.
"But… What was with that reaction? Doesn't he… Isn't he supposed to …"
And then, it dawned on him, and all the blood left his face.
Forget his experiment bringing forth peace, it just made things a hundred times worse.
"No way… Izaya you… seriously?"
'Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, hate, Hate, Hate, hate' the word repeated over and over and over in his mind like an unending mantra. Everywhere he looked there were people… humans, and he felt nothing but hate for absolutely everything in sight.
He loves humans.
He knows he loves humans.
But it seems Shinra's contraption was working just a little too well, and it literally sent shivers down his spine that he actually likes the thought of it. Of having someone slip something in his food, in his beloved ootoro that now makes him want to throw up at the mere thought of.
Everything feels as if it's in a haze, he feels as though he's high ten times over even though he'd never touch any of those unhealthy meds. He could think, but he didn't know what to think. He could see, but he couldn't comprehend what he was seeing. He didn't know what to actually feel about everything around him.
His head ached, ached like it there was a nail being hammered into his skull over and over again. Everything in his mind was contradicting each other, fighting each other like two opposing ends trying to gain dominance and kick the other out. His original thoughts were being greatly opposed by the drugs effects, and he refused to conform. He was aware of what it was, as well as the cause, but it was still driving him insane…
But one thought was clear.
Only that one thought above all other.
Likes and dislikes switched or not, he was still Orihara Izaya, and although he feels complete disgust with himself at the thought of manipulation and deceit and absolutely everything he does, he cannot let this golden opportunity pass.
'Hate. Hate. Hate.' He trudged through the dark streets of the back-alleys of Ikebukuro with only one goal in mind. Perhaps now he could do it, he thinks, as he searches for that familiar, strong presence always hot on his tail. 'This is a chance' he thinks in his clouded, logical mind.
Right now, he hates humans. He hates deceit. He hates manipulation. He hates playing mind games. He hates information. He hates knowledge. He hates how he knows everything. He hates how everyone is so predictable. He hates how he can control just about everyone he comes into contact with.
But he loves how that one person is always so completely unpredictable…
He loves how he cannot control that person.
He loves how that person is so different from a human being, and yet still like a human being.
He loves how that person also likes his humans.
He loves how that person can become so human, but only when he's not around to see it.
He loves how that person hates him with every fibre of his being.
He rounds the corner, finally spotting a tall head of bleach blond hair, and the switch blade he hates so much finds it's way into his eager fingers.
And above all…
he absolutely absolutely LOVES…
…just how much…
he HATES this person.
How he hates him so much that it hurts.
He grins, maniacally, psychotically even.
The only thought that isn't contradictive, the only thought that is clear in his medicated, conflicted, completely muddled mind, the only thought that drives him right now is this:
'Kill… Kill… I can kill him'
And with a flash, he lashed out.
[What are you doing?] the PDA screen flashed before his eyes, but he didn't have to read it to know what it says.
"Ah Celty my love! Welcome back!" Kishitani Shinra greeted, standing up from his sprawled position on the floor. He hadn't gotten up at all after Izaya left, thinking things through and deciding the best course of action.
From his own knowledge, the drug's effect couldn't last for more than twenty-four hours, but considering this was Izaya, who knows what he could do in that time. He's also contemplated telling Shizuo about it but…. It probably wasn't such a good idea.
Then there was Izaya's eyes. He shivered at the thought of it.
They looked feral and hate filled, almost psychotic, definitely crazed, and he worried that the drug might have had side effects he didn't know about…
[I saw Izaya on my way here] Celty's PDA blinked at him again. [He looked… creepy. He didn't get abducted by aliens did he?] the black rider shivered at the thought, and Shinra smiled brightly at how cute his sweetheart could be.
"Don't worry my Celty. Izaya didn't get abducted by aliens. That was most probably my doing" he confessed, rubbing the back of his head.
If Celty had a head, you would see her glaring at the doctor. [What did you do to him?] she typed. [He looked like a total wreck out there. Like a zombie out to eat someone's brains!] she shivered again.
Shinra read this passage and inspected it in his mind… "Hey Celty… where was he headed when you saw him?" he had to ask. "Was he on his way home?"
The black rider began typing. [I'm not sure, but he didn't look like he was leaving Ikebukuro... Why?]
The underground doctor gulped, weighing options and information in his mind. 'Izaya hates Shizuo, so the effect I expected would be of him loving Shizuo, but the hate only seemed to double… Does that mean… but if that's the reason then… wait. He says he's always wanted to kill him, but Izaya never did… and if I'm thinking this then….'
His eyes widened again as a thought struck him.
Izaya is very clever and strong willed, and because he's told him the effects of the drug, the raven would oppose the effects unconsciously or not, and that would cause very painful mental strain which would undoubtedly lead to some form of psychosis before he breaks down completely. But at the same time Izaya would find a way to use the drug's effect to his advantage if he can. And if what Shinra thinks is right then that means….
"Oh no…" he groaned.
Celty's glare hardened, and Shinra felt very small indeed.
"Celty my Love, I'm sorry about this, but I need you to go out again. And I need to call Shizuo, there's a madman out for his blood"
Heiwajima Shizuo was stunned, red staining his vision as he felt a tangy taste in his mouth, red liquid flowing down his chin and staining his clothes and hands. He didn't quite knowing what was happening, and as of yet he felt quite numb physically, but he could feel the slight tug of something embedded in his back.
Another cough crawled up his throat, another mouthful of blood spilling down his chin as he turned halfway to catch a glimpse of his attacker. "Y-you fucking…"
"Die, Shizu-chan" the voice croaked as his attacker harshly pulled the blade out, only to bring it crashing back down the blond's back.
"S-SHIZUO!" Tanaka Tom cried as he saw his friend and employee collapse to the ground with a loud thud, ignoring the screams and scurries of the people around them. He paled at the sight of the knife handle protruding from the blond's back, the ground underneath him already stained red in his blood.
His eyes trailed out, following the pale hand grasping the knife until it reached the familiar face of one Orihara Izaya. A crazed quality within his blood coloured eyes.
There was, however, no look of mirth in his face even as he stared down the fallen body of his long-time rival, in fact, there doesn't seem to be anything at all reflected in his currently crazed, yet soulless eyes. And just like that, he too slumped over.
Tanaka Tom only stared wide eyed at the scene in front of him, having fallen on his knees. He was trying to make sense of what he just witnessed. It was unlike anything he'd ever seen before where these two are concerned.
He knew he should call an ambulance, but right now he was too stunned to even move.
RIIIING! RIIING!
Suddenly, the sound of a ring tone snapped him out of his state, immediately digging out his phone only to find that it was not the source. He looked around, seeing the blinking glow of light from his employee's pocket.
Without a second thought, he answered.
"Shizuo! It's Shinra, you have to listen to me, Izaya…" the voice seemed frantic on the other end of the line, and Tom reacted immediately when he heard the name of the info-broker mentioned.
"Izaya is here. He just stabbed Shizuo and now they're both unconscious" Tom spoke quickly.
He heard a groan on the other end, and a mutter of 'too late'. "I see… you're Tom-san, right? Shizuo's employer? Listen, I sent someone over to pick the two up right away, please let him take them, you can leave the rest to us for the time being" the voice asked, and Tom had to furrow a brow.
"And who are you?" he asked. He heard a roar of an engine, not unlike the sound a caterwaul might make, resound on the other end, followed by dry chuckle.
"I'm a friend of theirs. And I'm a doctor, so you can leave Shizuo to me. I'm very sorry for the inconvenience those two might have made" the person stated before hanging up.
And only moments later the legendary "Headless Black Rider" appeared in front of him. Tom stared, quite amazed at seeing the urban-legend, the so called 'Shadow' in the flesh.
It regarded the two collapsed males on the ground for a few moments before turning it's attention to him. Soon after, a PDA was shoved in his face.
[Sorry you had to see this] it read, before the rider began typing again.
[Don't worry though, Shizuo's tough and I'm sure Shinra'll be able to patch him up]
[I'll be taking them now. I hope you consider giving Shizuo a couple of days leave though]
And just like that, before his very eyes, unlike anything he's ever seen before in the news, a black cloud of smoke… actually, it didn't look gaseous at all, especially with its liquid fluidity, like a true, mouldable, concrete shadow wrapped around the unconscious figures of his employee and his employee's rival, and soon the rider was back on his bike, engine roaring as he sailed through the streets.
And Tom was still speechless.
A groan escaped his throat as he cracked an eye open, flinching immediately at the sudden brightness that attacked his poor eyeballs. It took a few tries before he was able to actually open them, and the first thing he noticed was the plain white ceiling, and the fact that he was most definitely not in his apartment.
The second thing he noticed was the deadly migraine he had, causing him to suddenly double over in a weak attempt to ease the pain. It felt much much worse than any hangover he'd ever experienced and he didn't even remember drinking!
Footsteps rang from seemingly all around him, attacking his sensitive ears and only making his already pulsing headache pound even harder.
"Izaya" the familiar voice of his sole considered-best-friend called, and he flinched involuntarily as he tried to fight through the pain in his head.
"S-Shinra… what the hell happened?" he asked, his voice sounding unbelievably hoarse to his ears, as he tried to face the underground doctor.
Shinra chuckled nervously as he neared, taking in a deep breath before suddenly asking… "Izaya… you like Shizuo don't you"
Thatmade the informant start, rather ungracefully. "W-What the hell are you saying Shinra?" he cried in absolute outrage. "Have you finally lost your mind?" he tried to sit up, only to plop back down when the world suddenly spun out of it's axis.
"It's best if you don't move so much. Your mind suffered quite a harsh strain and your body's also affected. You'll be experiencing some painful migraines, but it should disappear once you've gotten enough rest" the doctor informed the raven.
"What happened" Izaya demanded, glaring at the doctor. Shinra just smiled.
"Well, I've learned not to administer you any more drugs" he admitted, and the intensity of the red-eyed man's glare doubled. "Oh, and by the way. You like Shizuo right?" the doctor stated again, the smile on his face brightening at the look on his old friend's face.
If looks could kill really. "And you ask… why?" the informant growled out, low and dangerous.
"Oh… you know…" the doctor shrugged, and really, if Izaya didn't have a pounding headache he would strangle the freakin four eyes.
Then at that moment, Celty entered the room. Padding over to them, she flashed her PDA towards Shinra, who looked surprised at the message.
"Really? Whoa, he really is superhuman isn't he. Such fast recovery…" he mumbled. Catching Izaya's curious stare, he decided to inform the man of the events that have transpired. He knew the informant probably doesn't remember anything about it anyway. "It's Shizuo, he's in the guest room recuperating from couple of stabs in the back" he explained.
Celty began to type. [He… he got stabbed in the back with a knife a couple of times. He lost quite a lot of blood, but thankfully his organs didn't suffer much damage] the PDA read, and Izaya's eyes grew wide as saucers.
"He's not dead?" he asked, a trace of an unidentified emotion in his voice, and then sighed. "Guess not since you said he's recovered" he rolled his eyes.
Celty turned to Shinra, who gave her a wide smile and a knowing look.
[You stabbed him] the dullahan's PDA was shoved on his face again, and Izaya stared at it in disbelief.
"What?" he stated blankly.
[Shinra gave you a drug of some sort, and you almost killed Shizuo]
"Really? Why in the world did I fail?"
If Celty had a head, she would be shaking it in exasperation by now, just like what Shinra is doing.
"Oh, and thanks for reminding me, Celty. Expect some revenge from me for slipping drugs into my favourite sushi alright Shinra" the informant grinned menacingly.
Shinra just laughed, albeit nervously. "So, do you want to see him?" the doctor asked.
"Why would I want to?"
"Cause you like him" Shinra stated bluntly, and the informant groaned.
"Shinra, may I ask just what it hell gave you that undeniably stupid idea?" Izaya growled out, exasperated.
The doctor smiled again. "You say you've always wanted to kill him, and yet you didn't"
"That's cause he's a monster who's really hard to kill. I mean come on, he got stabbed in the back twice and he's still alive right?"
"No excuses Izaya. I gave you a drug that switches your likes and hates" Shinra admonished. "And then you tried to kill Shizuo"
"I always try to kill Shizu-chan"
"Not like how you just did"
Izaya's eyes narrowed, headache completely forgotten and his heart hammering quite frantically in his ribcage. "If I'm following your train of thought correctly, and say it's actually possible, how would you even know if that concoction of yours worked?"
"Easy" the scientist smiled brightly. "You were mumbling 'Hate humans hate hate hate' when Celty brought you here"
The informant gulped, when suddenly, a tremor shook the room and all heads snapped towards the guest room door.
"IIIIZAAAAYAAA-KUUN!" A low, but loud feral growl sounded from room, the door now hanging ajar as a shirtless, heavily bandaged blond stood by the frame, a murderous look in his bloodshot eyes.
Celty was upon him in an instant, tapping incessantly at her PDA, likely telling the blond to lie back down.
The addressed raven just gaped.
"You fucking… flea…. You..." the blond strung together between ragged pants, approaching the sofa where the raven was perched and ignoring the dullahan's presence.
Izaya smirked shakily. "Why Shizu-chan, should you seriously be walking in that state of yours?" he began, slowly backing away. "Well, if you want to die so badly all you have to do is jump out the window right now. I'm afraid I'm not in the mood to deliver the final blow right now" the raven stated, hopping lightly over the back of the couch, eyes unwavering form the raging blond.
Shizuo just kicked the sofa aside, ignoring Shinra and Celty's attempts to calm him.
"Fucking… flea… you…" He kept approaching until Izaya's back hit the far wall. The raven swallowed, his nerves over the roof as he could almost feel the approach of imminent death.
He silently cursed the Scientist and his girlfriend for just standing there.
"You stabbed me" the blond accused, and Izaya couldn't stop a sarcastic remark.
"Oh gee, did I? Damn! I'm sorry, remind me to make sure you're dead next time alright?"
Shizuo glared. "Shinra said you were drugged"
"Yes indeed. He drugged me"
"Why'd you do it?" the blond bodyguard asked. Izaya was somehow caught off guard by the unexpected question.
"Why else?" he replied, masking his nerves and trying to keep his composure.
The blond searched his eyes, hazel locked on crimson. "Did you mean it?"
"What?"
"Did you seriously want to kill me?"
Izaya glared, more than intimidated by the towering blond. "O-Of course. Why else do you think I did it in the first place? I hate you. I've hated you since High School, and I want you dead" he spat, his heart hammering quite painfully in his chest as he spoke the words.
The blond merely stared at him, an unreadable emotion in his honey coloured eyes, and he couldn't help but glare back resentfully.
And then he felt something soft on his lips, and his heart almost stopped. No way…
He stood there, frozen, with his back against the wall, while his long-time rival kissed him. It was warm, and… and.. gentle. Something which he never would have expected from the blond. And Shinra and Celty were just standing there! He couldn't prevent the heat that made it's way towards his face and settle in the pit of his stomache at that as his heart practically tried to break free from his chest.
'What the hell IS this?'
After a few moments, the blond broke away from him, looking him seriously in the eyes. "Liar" And without another sound, he turned and went back into the room he came from, but not before stating something that made the info-broker's breath hitch. "Celty already told me everything"
"…"
Izaya slid down the wall, stunned speechless. For the first time in his life he couldn't think, he didn't even realize that his hand had reached up, trailing his fingers along his lips, feeling the warmth that lingered as his eyes glazed over.
Shinra blinked, once, twice, then he spoke. "Well… perhaps my experiment did serve a purpose after all"
If Celty had a head, she would have nodded.
If you've made it this far, you get a cookie! XDD Seriously, I myself didn't know what I was doing anymore half-way though...
Wow... how in the world did this fic become so dark? I was planning on making it humor and fluff really… O_O I don't even know how this happened…. =_=
But anyways, I hope you liked it :D And if you can, please leave a review, crtisisms are forever welcomed XD
