Dear mom,
Happy 80th Birthday!
It has been five years since you died; dad has never been the same since you left us all. The strong and handsome man of my childhood has gotten weaker. His dark orbs that you loved, no longer dance. He sits and stares out of the window of our home since he refuses to be anywhere else. If you were to talk to him he either doesn't hear you or he refuses to comment. He only speaks when he wants something. It's like talking to a brick wall. It's as if when we lost you we lost him too; he's a shell of what he once was.
I remember the stories we got told as children. I remember on mine and Maison's fifth birthday, he was sat on dad's lap while I was curled into an 18 year old by rights, Frankie's side as they recalled the tales of how our tribes started and how I was related to Frankie; what our imprint was and the Makah story. He was my best friend back then, my brother; its funny how times change.
I can also remember you and dad trying to tell Billy about grandpa Billy on his fifth birthday in 2017 while Mais and I told him stories of our memories with him; whizzing around in his wheelchair up and down the street, him giving dad done when he wound everyone up, fishing trips with him and Grandpa Charlie. I miss him.
Our childhood was perfect in every way. We were safe yet able to be adventurous, loved but still given room to grow up while we rebelled and happy even during sad times. There were happy tears and sad tears. We shed a lot of tears between us all.
We cried when I was fourteen and Frankie stood me up on our first date. I was absolutely devastated; you were there for me when I cried. We watched an endless amount of chick flicks from your era; dad text Aunt Alice for suggestions. Mean Girls, dirty dancing and Grease, all of them like that. Dad even gave us popcorn a she had 'words' with Frankie. Jared gave Mais a black eye for trying to kiss Phoebe which was hysterically funny; Phoeebs lectured Jared, then Jar-head, for getting as she put it, 'all up in her business'. We were so young back then.
At Graduation Mais declared his love for Phoeebs in front of everyone after I gave my valedictorian speech. "When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were thing like astronaut, president, or in my case… princess. When we were ten, they asked again and we answered - rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medallist. But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how 'bout this: who the hell knows? This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions; it's time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love - a lot. Major in philosophy 'cause there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again, because nothing is permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… we won't have to guess. We'll know." You were crying during this too. You and dad never had much of a graduation, since you were teen parents. The two of you always did the best you could at such a young age.
When we started college you cried again; getting a degree in Fashion Design was Aunt Alice's dream for me while Mais graduated in Sports Therapy and made Uncle Emmett proud. Grandpa Carlisle paid for everything to ensure we had a proper education. He even let Mais work with him during part of his course at the hospital learning how to treat injuries while I spent a semester in NYC with Aunt Rose and met Leah properly for the first time along with Korey, Jez and little Harry who had Grandpa Charlie's name as his middle one. She also introduced me to Caroline who helped me choose fabrics and designs for my Grad ball. I remember when Seth left the pack to live in NYC with Leah; it was nice to catch up with him when I was in the Big Apple. He was busy being a doctor specialising in medicine while his wife Suzanna was a vet who worked at the city zoo. Their cute triplets; Kobe the only boy and the two girls Kiesha and Kaydee were born in the two months when I was there. Dad was engrossed in my stories when I returned.
You watched on as the Rez grew; Uncle Quil and Aunt Claire got married and had Juliet, Uncle Embry and Aunt Angela had Tiffany. I loved babysitting them after the wedding. They cried throughout mine and Frankie's big day, as did dad. The morning of the wedding at the end of August I swear you cried more than I did. Aunt Alice and I had found my perfect dress in Seattle. I had my long jet black hair pulled back in a loose chignon with a few wispy strands around my face. I had just finished slipping into a cream vintage lace spaghetti strapped dress with a gold ribbon tied in a small bow at my right hip when you and dad appeared in the doorway crying. In your hands was a fancy shoe box with a gold pair of 3.5" heeled Jimmy Choos for me; dad simply mumbled a one word explanation through his tears: Alice.
The small church in Forks had been decorated in white lilies and gold roses on every surface. Dad was still crying as he walked me down the aisle; Frankie was waiting at the bottom in a cream and gold suit while Phoebe was following behind me in a gold strapless, knee length Oscar de la Renta dress with blush coloured Betsey Johnson pumps upon her feet. She had squealed for a full two minutes straight when Alice had presented the designer items; I swear she was more excited about the event than I was. We all partied hard at the reception as the two packs combined once again. Mais and Phoebe ended up getting back together.
Two months after our wedding Grandpa Charlie died; Granny Sue moved to the Big Apple to be with Leah and Seth. Four months after our wedding Grandma Renee and Phil were in a terrible car crash. You cried for days straight after that. It was hard on everyone but worse on you but you kept it together until you thought that we were asleep. We still heard you crying.
When I was twenty five I was a heavily pregnant bridesmaid at my brother and best friend's wedding. Phoebe wore her Betsey Johnson shoes on her wedding day along with her Lanvin textured knee length ivory dress which was a present from Alice and Rose while I wore a blue printed maxi dress; they were married on the beach just days after my fourth anniversary. I remember Uncle Sam caught Jamie kissing Emelia who had been dating in secret and looked as if he was going to go ballistic at him but instead wondered what took them so long. A month after their wedding in September I had Renee Isabella on your birthday, you were forty four and cried for two hours straight after she was born.
Aunt Alice and the rest of the Cullens moved just after you celebrated your fiftieth birthday; they were frozen in time. With them time stood still, for everyone else it didn't.
You watched as Maison became a father in the fall of 2038; Phoebe having twins, Billy Jared and Marie Sarah Black. You and dad were so proud of him.
You held my hand as I gave birth the second time a week before Renee's sixth birthday. My premature son died in your arms as Frankie walked through the door two minutes too late. You were there again two years later as Jacob Joseph was born in March were there when my first born had the beauty that is Belle at twenty eight, she was pregnant again when you died three years later.
That was eight years ago now mom; each day I watch everyone grow older before my very eyes. I don't think that dad can cope much longer without you. I may only be in my fifties but you'll always be my mom. No one can replace you. Ever.
I miss you.
I love you.
Forever your baby girl,
Maia x
I fold the three pages of paper into three and slide them into the envelope after I finished reading them. Those were a rare thing now, envelopes and sending letters, yet I found them comforting. They were more personal than emails and easier for my purpose. Sealing it I place it upon my mother's grave; the tears falling down my face as I walk away, Frankie supporting me as he always had.
I go where life takes me, but some days it makes me want to change my direction. Sometimes it gets lonely, but I know it's only a matter of perception. I just entered a brand new world and I'm so open hearted. I know I've got a long way to go but I'm just getting started. I know everything will be fine with me, myself and time.
So that's me done with the Two World's trequal.
Two World's Collide- Bella and Jacob
Skyscraper- Leah
Me, Myself and Time- Bella and Jacobs' daughter Maia
Thanks to everyone for reading. x
