Everything up until the ending scene of "47 seconds" has already happened. All AU from there. This will be two chapters long. please stick around. Let me know what you think. Castle is not mine, I am just borrowing the characters.

"Good night," he says before he starts walking towards the elevator.

"Wait, Castle," I managed to call out after him. He turned slowly, but still walking away. He had been acting strange all day. What did I do? "Castle, what's wrong?"

"Good bye detective. I'll miss working here." He turned around back and walked again. Wait, what? Good bye? What in the hell did that mean? He would miss working here?

"You're leaving?" I questioned, but heard no response.

I ran over to where he was standing waiting for the elevator car. I could see the tears pooling in his eyes, and it killed me to see him hurt like that. Why, what happened? Did I say or do something?

I grabbed his arm and pulled him into the break room.

"Beckett, what the hell?" he asks as I locked the door.

"You tell me Castle. You have been fine for ages, then suddenly, today, you change. You start acting strange around me, start saying things I know Castle wouldn't say. Well, at least not the Castle i know anyways. So let me in on a little something, okay? What did-did I do or say something to upset you like this?"

He sat down on the edge of the table while i sat on the empty space of the bench next to the sink.

I looked into his eyes and all I saw was extreme pain. His always bright, loving, blue eyes had faded to a dull, sad, gray.

We sat there for a moment, but he did not answer my question. So, hesitantly, I continued.

"Please, the Castle I know wouldn't act like this. Not unless something happened. Something immensely wounding.

Seeing him on the verge of crying, just made me want to collapse into his arms, and hold him tight. To comfort him. I had never seen him like that before, and i sure as hell never wanted to again.

"I-I-Esposito told me that you were in the box with our newest suspect. I didn't want to interrupt, so I watched from behind the mirror." He finished with an exasperated sigh, and a tear escaped his eye. Oh my god! What had I done? No wonder he was distancing himself and acting strangely.

"Oh my god!" I said just above a whisper. "Oh no. What the fuck have I done? Castle please hear me out, okay? Please?" I knew I had screwed up, and bad.

"No, Beckett. You had your chance. You blew it." He stood up from his sitting position, and looked me in the eye.

"Rick, please. I wasn't ready then, okay? I had just been shot, and I was laying there in the grass, with a bullet in my heart. The feeling was absolutely horrible, that feeling of the bullet burning through my chest, having my life leave my body. I was bleeding out, I couldn't speak, let alone breathe. And when you started whispering sweet nothings, I tried to say those words back to you, but I couldn't. I thought pretending I didn't hear anything, didn't remember anything would be easy.

Well, at least, easier, than risking getting my heart broken by you. By the man I..." I stopped myself, not knowing if I was ready to say those three words. Do I tell him I love him? Would he accept me after everything I put him through? I highly doubt it. If i were him, I most probably wouldn't.

I couldn't hold it back anymore. My body wracked with sobs. I had hurt him so bad. I closed my eyes, so I wouldn't have to see his distraught face.

I heard shuffling as he walked towards me. I felt terrible for everything. He reached me and pulled me into his chest, holding me.

Ten minutes passed awfully fast, I felt so safe in his arms, so comfortable. He pulled back and brushed away my tears with his thumbs. But they were silently replaced with more.

He gave a weak, drained smile. I returned it, same emotions showing.

"I am so sorry Rick. I just wanted you to know that before you left me." I tried to get up off the bench, but he held my shoulders, to keep me where i was.

"I know you are. But, I'm not leaving, Kate. I understand. It's okay, I'm not leaving you," he promised.

"How can you stay? After everything I have done, how can you stay?" More tears rolled down my cheeks silently.

"You know why. Hey, don't cry, okay. I'm here Kate. Always."

"I love you," I whisper.

Teensy cliffhanger, I know. I am in Australia, so there may be a few grammatical and spelling changes, but all is correct for me. Let me know how it is. The next chapter will be up in a few days.

yin-needs-yang

xxx