{A/N: This is just a short letter written by a 26 year old Blaine to his younger self or about 13-14. I hope you enjoy it and please please PLEASE review this one. I'd love to know peoples thoughts on it. I got some inspiration on writing this from 'The Letter' (Queer writers' notes to their younger selves) I really do hope you enjoy it guys. LOVE and thanks to my wonderful beta CharleK. xoxo and for some reason it says the story is only 93 words...which it obviously isn't.}
Dear Blaine
I know you're scared. Oh I know.
How do I know this?
I know this because I am you. Your future self. Your future self who has an amazing job, a baby on the way (!), a happy life and an amazing HUSBAND. Shocking right?
So I know you're scared. You've been scared since you 'came out' to yourself and your parents. You were scared of being different and you were scared of what people would think because you knew that being 'gay' was not exactly popular in Ohio. You wanted to be the perfect straight-lawyer-to-be son that your parents wanted.
You'll think the fear will go away but it won't. The night of the Sadie Hawkins Dance. That night. It'll hurt so much. Both physically and mentally.
You'll seriously consider just letting go because everyone would be better off without you right? You're not what your family wants, you're not what your school wants. You're gay...well even that you're not too sure of. You're not completely sure if you're gay because you've never even kissed a boy- or a girl for that matter. But back to the point- don't let go. You won't let go. You'll find that strength in you somewhere to hold on because life gets better doesn't it? (it does)
You'll blame yourself for weeks after the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Why can't you just be normal like all the other boys? Why can't you be sure of anything? MAKE UP YOUR MIND, BLAINE!
You'll still be scared, Even when your parents move you to Dalton. You'll feel better. Accepted. Safe. But that fear won't leave. It won't be the same fear no. You'll no longer be scared of the bullies or the physical pain because none of that exists at Dalton but you'll still be scared of how unsure of yourself you are and how different you are.
You'll make great friends and you'll be happy but there will still be a part of you-( the part that adores Disney, musicals, fashion, Vogue, and bowties)- that longs to be set free. You're friends will be great , they really will be but none of them will like fashion. None of them will want to talk about Vogue or Disney or bowties or broadway or Marc Jacobs. So you'll also be afraid that you'll ever find someone that does want to talk for hours about how fabulous Marc Jacobs is or how stunning Moulin Rouge is. Then you'll meet him.
Kurt.
He'll stop you on the Dalton staircase with the two words "Excuse me?" and those words would never have sounded so appealing before. He'll have stunning eyes, eyes that you'll try so hard to learn what exact colour they are. (give up now. I still haven't figured it out)
And you'll know. You'll just know that he's someone special. You'll also be pretty sure that you really are gay. You'll be enamoured by his eyes, skin, hair, voice, laugh, smile...literally everything. (and it's still the same today)
You'll befriend Kurt. You'll help him because he's scared too and he won't know it but he'll be helping you too because he's so strong and he'll give you hope and eventually...after a while. Kurt will make that fear leave you. You'll finally feel safe and sure of yourself.
You'll do stupid things. Really stupid things. There will be Jeremiah and Rachel...(and to this day I still haven't been able to comprehend why). You'll hurt Kurt's feelings (idiot). You'll misinterpret your own feelings for Kurt.
Eventually you'll realise what you want. You'll realise that your feelings for Kurt are beyond friendship and so you'll let him know and boy will that day be the best day of your life (besides marrying him). You'll fall in love.
And you know what the best part is?
Kurt will fall in love back.
Kurt will teach you so much. You'll treat him like he's the sun because to you...he is. He really is. To us he is.
You'll never feel as loved and safe as you when you're with him.
Just being a part of his family will be amazing. His parents will open there arms to you unlike your own.
It'll be an emotional ride but he'll always be there, by your side because he loves you and that's a blessing.
When you first start dating will be the best. You'll learn so much about him.
You'll be almost...obsessed with Him. You'll wonder if maybe, later on, you'll stop thinking about him constantly.
You won't.
Now- ten years later- you'll still be just as in love (if not more) and still devoted. (LEGALLY MARRIED!)
You'll have a baby on the way!
I know Blaine. I know you're probably thinking 'I bet this Kurt guy isn't that great'.
(and ' Jeeze Blaine, when did you get so sappy'?)
You're wrong.
(since always)
He's too great for words.
Don't even bother trying to imagine him. I know you. I know your imagination can't do him justice.
I know this for certain as I'm glancing at him every now and then as I write this. He's asleep, head buried in my side with that adorable smile on his face.
So, younger Blaine- it's okay. Everything will be okay. I know it's hard but you'll make it. Be yourself and be proud. You'll be scared and hurt and anxious but it's all worth it in the long run. Keep your eyes out for Kurt because he really will change your life.
Don't let the haters hurt you. It's taken me a while to get to this point but thanks to Kurt I can now say that I love you. I really do. You're wonderful and unique and loved.
Love-
Your future self.
Blaine Hummel- Anderson
P.S- Don't ever put your reds in the wash with his favourite scarf. Just don't go there.
*nervously waits by computer*
