30 Ways to Annoy Hermione Granger
Made for pure, fictional enjoyment.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my happiness.
1. Imitate her know-it-all façade.
2. Ask her if she wears a padded bra.
3. If so, what color is it?
4. Tell her that Harry is in love with her.
5. Ask her when Ron and her are getting married.
6. Tell her Ron is off snogging with Lavender Brown or Luna Lovegood.
7. Ask her if she purposely styles her hair to be a giant frizz ball.
8. Ask her if she and Viktor Krum ever had something together.
9. Ask her if Ron's wand is actually fourteen inches in length.
10. Trip her.
11. 'Accidentally' drop her favorite book into the fire.
12. Make your house elf dance around her singing 'I'm under control! I'm under control!'
13. Purposely misplace her homework that's due in just a few hours.
14. After every sentence she utters, yell 'WRONG!'
15. Trick her to go to a broom closet and lock her in.
16. Tell Hermione that there's a huge book sale in Hogsmeade when it's really a hobo convention.
17. Purposely mispronounce her name.
18. Lock her in a closet, then tell Professor Filch that there's a broom closet that needs cleaning up.
19. Get a book and tear out pages right in front of her.
20. Ask her to do your homework for you.
21. If she doesn't, complain, saying that she does Ron's all the time.
22. Tell her that Ron has been tied up at the bottom of the Black Lake.
23. Tell her that Trelawney's methods of teaching really do work.
24. Bring her chocolates and flowers and tell them they came from Professor Snape.
25. Take Ron's rat and tell him Crookshanks did it.
26. Draw a mustache on her while she's asleep.
27. Ask her if a little more happened on the chessboard in the first year.
28. Take her diary, then copy pieces and post them over the Gryffindor common room.
29. Take all her clothes and lump them all in the middle of a public place.
30. Ask her if she snogged with Draco after she punched him to make him feel better.
I hope you enjoyed my foolproof ways to annoy the crap out of Hermione Granger. I plan to post more for Snape, Draco, and Harry, although if you ask I will be more than happy to do other characters.
Please review and maybe give me suggestions. I encourage feedback. Constructive criticism accepted. And yes, I DO allow anonymous reviews.
