Okay guys, this is a new story. It's just something that I had to do to help me keep going with my other story, this was serving as a distraction. But rest assured Alison Dilaurentis must die is still in progress and I'm updating soon. But please give this a chance, I promise...well not promise but I think it's good and I hope you like it. Please review and tell me what you think.
Yellow Paint
Episode 1: You're not Jack and I'm not Rose.
We're all going at some point in time.
This isn't a notion that Emily Fields lived by, even though she couldn't deny the truth in the words. We're all dying at some point in time, whether it be earlier in life or later...it's inevitable...death is inevitable.
No one is immortal. And the ones who spend millions of hours searching for immortality can tell you that as they stare at their aging empty hands.
But just because we all die at some point doesn't mean we have to take a preemptive strike.
We don't get to take a different path than the one that fate has designed for us. Who are we to stop short of our destiny, who are we to end the journey prematurely.
Just because our lifespans are short doesn't mean they are meaningless.
Every life has meaning.
Those are words that Emily Fields lived by. Every life has meaning, including the ones ended prematurely. Especially those lives. They drive us to become who we are destined to be. They serve as a warning of what we should and should not do. They serve as reminders of what could happen if we let fear, hurt, and anger drive our conscious behavior.
These are things that Emily Fields believed. No matter how much life sucked. And trust her to know that life sucked! You never give up. Things will get better for those who work it.
Things will get better. Those were the exact same words Emily repeated to herself over and over as she walked down the back road of an abandoned highway, in a town where she only knew two people, both of which were her mom and dad.
Things will get better. Those are words she needed to hear more than anything right now, especially after moving from a big state like Texas to a small town in Pennsylvania. After having your entire world turned upside down in a matter of a week, something that Emily would have never guessed would have ever happen to her family. Her perfect little family. They were perfect. Well they used to be. They used to be until secrets forced themselves out of the dark in the shape of an unborn child and a heartbroken family to find out through a letter intended for the man of the house. Secrets of infidelity, betrayal, lust for a woman that did not bare the name carried by his wife. Secrets of youth, the mistress being only three years older than Emily herself. Secrets of running away to start a family of their own, only to be struck down when found out about by the General of their unit. Secrets that shamed her family and forced them to relocate in a small town, under the disguise of official military business, to cover the scandal.
Yes, those secrets that keeps her parents up until 3:00am, yelling and screaming until their voices turn hoarse and they are no longer able to use their words, just hateful stares and regrets as they move to sleep on opposite sides of the room.
Secrets that have now shaped her life for the worst. But despite all she continues to grow an optimism inside of her that things will get better. I mean they have to don't they?
But nothing warranted the belief that nothing is to unbearable to live through until she saw her standing on that bridge.
Her blonde hair blowing back in the wind as she looks down at the dark water below, leaning against the beam so casually you'd think she was strapped to it to help prevent her from falling.
She was so high up. High enough to make Emily's stomach drop at the anticipated fall. But the young lady stood as if this did not scare her, as if nothing did. Not even falling to her death. And that alone made Emily question the girl's sanity.
Her long blonde hair disheveled and flowing down to the middle of her back. She wore a white night gown that stopped at her mid thigh. And she hummed a tune so quietly that Emily had to strain her ears to hear its melody.
If Emily had not stubbed her toe along the path she had taken to get to this bridge, she would have thought she was still asleep in dreamland, and this blonde haired girl would have been a figment of her imagination.
But she wasn't. And this was real. This girl was actually standing on this bridge plotting her own demise.
The wind began to pick up but the blonde girl did not sway. She continue to stand on that bridge looking down, and humming that tune.
One that Emily would never forget.
And then the blonde begin pacing back and forth on the beam. And Emily's heart clutched in fear at the thought of her misplacing her footing.
Emily begins to wonder would she be considered an accessory to the suicide if she didn't step in and try to help. If she watched her fall. But the hell with being an accessory, Emily knew she wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing she let this young poor girl fall to her death. She would only have reoccurring nightmares of her body floating in the water. So for the sake of her sanity and others she ought to intervene before things get out of hand.
"Hey..." Emily starts to say in a low raspy voice. But it's so low that the wind carries it away and out of earshot of the blonde girl. Emily notices this when the blonde fails to acknowledge her. So she begins to cautiously move forward, praying not to startle the girl off the ledge, its only then as moves closer that recognizes the tune the young lady carries.
"Have you ever looked fear in the face, and said I just don't care?" The blonde sings in a low voice as she walks along the beam with her head tilted back, hair blowing in the breeze.
"And it's only half past the point of no return...the tip of the iceberg...the sun before the burn...thunder before the lightening...the breath before the phrase...have you ever felt this way?" The blonde finishes in a low harmony.
"Yes...I have." Emily speaks up louder this time, startling the young blonde who quickly turns her head to see who interrupted her. "I'm sure we all have at some point in our lives." Emily says frowning in thought.
The blonde girl is shocked to see Emily on this abandoned bridge with her. In all the years that she's frequented this place, she's never come across a fellow night wanderer like herself. Especially someone young and not whacked-out by drugs or homeless like most night walkers in this city. Unsure of what to make of this stranger in front of her, the blonde just responds by giving Emily an uncaring look.
Emily's breath hitches as she gets a full view of the blonde in front of her. The blonde standing in front of her is considerable the most beautiful girl Emily had ever seen. From her beautiful blue eyes to her pouty full lips. And Emily was used to being surrounded by beautiful women, she's had her fair share of ladies back in Texas...this adding to the list of other things that caused a strained home life. Her parents always fighting about her morals, rather or not it was right or wrong for her to love women, seeing as it was against the word of the bible. Her mom taking the stance that it's her dads fault for not showing her a strong male role model, and her dad denying the accusations, then retaliating those hurtful words by staying out later with his mistress. But as the time moved on and Emily grew tired, she learned how to except herself and her home life circumstances, turning something so hurtful to witness, that caused lonely nights of cuddling into a corner consumed by tears, into a cold shoulder and an uncaring attitude towards the situation. She learned to ignore it and push through, and soon being gay wasn't an issue for her. Her mother loosened her grip and begin to except her, and her father who really didn't care one way or another just left the situation alone. Which Emily was grateful for. So she still had other things on her plate...but in the end she accomplished a difficult task, making her load one less item heavy. And if she could fight her demons, she knew nothing was impossible. So the only thing that troubles Emily, is what could possibly cause distress to this goddess of a woman and that pained look in her eyes. The light was completely gone from them, the only thing they held was the reflection of what she was looking at. This caused Emily's heart to clinch in sympathy as she looked upon the broken creature in front of her.
"You know it's really dangerous to stand up there...especially without any shoes on...you could get splinters or something." Emily says lamely, in an attempt to get the blonde haired girl to react.
The blonde just turns to look away from Emily choosing to ignore her, hoping she'd take the hint and go away. But Emily was more determined then ever to get her attention now. The last thing she wanted was for the blonde to jump and the only words she would have spoken to her would have been a lame joke about splinters.
"I know for me personally heights give me the heebie-geebies. I'm sure you could enjoy the view of the lake from a view less high up." Emily says in a cautious tone.
"Are you afraid I'm going to fall?" The blonde finally responds without turning to face Emily.
Emily breaths a sigh of relief when she hears the soft voice float through the air. It's brings her some sort of comfort to know she got the blonde to talk. "Well yeah...aren't you?"
"There are much more scarier things then falling into water." The blonde says with a forced smirk on her face that's hidden from view of Emily.
Emily ponders her words in agreeance by nodding her head, even though the blonde couldn't see her. "True." She speaks up. "But for me I'm not much of a swimmer, so it'll suck when I have to jump in the lake after you."
The blonde shakes her head at her statement. "This isn't titanic, you don't have to jump after me. This won't be some epic happy ending...if you could call it that...if I go overboard that's the end of me, and you'll be dumber then Jack if you join a complete stranger." The blonde rationalizes.
"Well it may not have been a happy ending but if I've learned one thing from that movie, nothing is worth ending your life, not even in the most miserable situations, even Rose figured that out." Emily reasons back.
This causes the blonde to scoff. "Rose's life is a walk in the park compared to mine. If she had to walk in my shoes for a day she wouldn't have hesitated to go over that cliff." She says turning to face Emily now. "And trust me, we all know Jack wouldn't have went after her if she did." She says calling Emily's bluff.
Emily hesitates to respond. She didn't think the blonde would be serious in considering jumping off that bridge but based on what she was saying, she might be. And that thought alone terrified Emily. Because what if she did go over, would Emily really go after her, would she really risk everything to jump in after this stranger? And a better question would be, what happened to this blonde haired beauty to make her think this was the only way out?
That's when Emily notices the slight bruise on the blondes shoulder. It looked similar to a hand print but from this distance Emily couldn't tell, but just the sight of it caused a queasy feeling in her stomach.
"You're right. Jack wouldn't have went over after her." Emily says, cautiously walking closer towards the blonde. "It was all talk...but he also knew Rose wouldn't have jumped either so really if you think about it, they both were bluffing." Emily says with her own smirk.
This causes the blonde to let out a dark laugh. "You don't know me. But if you did, you'd know I never bluff." She says giving Emily a dark look.
That look alone sent a chilling shiver down Emily's spine, and she forcefully swallows the lump building up in her throat. "You're right, I don't know you." Is all Emily can say before silence envelopes them.
The blonde decides that she doesn't want to speak anymore, so they fall into a heavy silence. The blonde now choosing to ignore Emily's presence again. She takes a moment to appreciate the peace and quiet, like she was doing before this brunette girl came and interrupted her. She hopes her silence is a hint for Emily to leave now, but she also knows there's no chance and hell that this girl is leaving this bridge unless she goes over or comes down.
Emily chooses this silent moment to release some stress. She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a package of cigarettes, she takes one out of the package placing it in her mouth, while she searches her other pockets for a lighter. She lets out a huff when she pulls out a lighter with barely enough fluid to light the cigarette. She makes a mental note to make a pit stop at that 24 hour mart she walked passed on the way here. She looks up at the lonely blonde resting against the beam quietly. "Not to interrupt your little moment, but you wouldn't happen to have a lighter on you would you?" She jokes slightly with a serious undertone. The blonde just stares at her with a confused frown before she shakes her head no. Emily nods her head in acknowledgement before she shakes the lighter and uses the rest of its fluid to light her cigarette. She lets out a deep breath as she inhales the nicotine, letting it marinate in her lungs a bit before she exhales a puff of smoke. "I figured you wouldn't mind, since your not a big pro life person anyways." Emily speaks in the air, not really expecting to get a response from her as she slowly rests her elbows against the ledge of the bridge, taking the cigarette in her hand and puffing it once more. "So I guess before you jump can I at least know your name? So I won't have to search for a nameless article tomorrow." Emily says with a shrug as she lets out another puff of smoke.
The blonde just stares at her with a growing smile on her face. "You're scared of me falling to my doom but you smoke cigarettes? I guess you're going not as pro life as I thought either." She teases, tossing Emily's statement back at her.
Emily just gives another shrug. "There's much more scarier things to die from remember." She says putting out the mostly finished cigarette on the bridge. "It's a bad habit that I'm trying to break." She says uncaringly. "I'm Emily by the way." Emily says hoping that if she gives a name she'd get one in return.
The blonde just smirks at her and shakes her head, turning to face the lake down below again. She understands what this Emily girl is trying to do, but she doesn't really want to give up her name just yet, just in case Emily tries to find her later on with the intent on informing her parents or anyone else for that matter of where they met.
"You have an amazing singing voice." Emily says randomly, causing the blonde to stumble in her thoughts.
The blonde blushes a deep red as she turns to look at Emily. She studies her face for a moment before she concludes that there's nothing but sincerity in her words. She blushes an even more impossible darker shade of red before turning to look down at her hands in her lap, fidgeting with her fingers. "Uh...thank you. That was kind of you to say."
Now it's Emily's turn to study her and she notices the red tint on her cheeks. She frowns in confusion before a smile envelopes her face. "Surely you've heard that before." She teases slightly.
"I don't really like to sing for an audience." The blonde says with an uncaring shrug. "You're actually the first to ever hear me sing." She says shyly looking over at Emily.
Emily just offers her a soft smile. "Well if this is the final time that you'll ever do it again then I'm honored to be your first and only." Emily says then blushes a deep red at her statement. "I mean...to hear you sing. I'm honored to be the first to hear you sing." She corrects quickly causing the blonde to laugh.
The blonde shakes her head as she looks at Emily in amusement. "Why are you here? I'm sure you're not some super hero who walks bridges at night talking people down from ledges." She jokes. Before plopping down on the ledge, her feet dangling above the open water freely. The action startles Emily, but she makes no show of it besides clenching and unclenching of her fists in fear.
"Nope. I guess I needed a break from reality too." Emily says. The thought of her family ringing in her head, makes her crave another cigarette. She places a hand over the pocket in her jacket but thinks wiser of it before placing her hand back against the ledge. "What about you, what brings you here?" Emily asks cautiously.
Silence surrounds them for a beat. And Emily almost doesn't expect her to respond until she hears the soft voice float from her mouth.
"I'm sick of waking up in darkness, when the sky is always painted blue." The blonde says dejectedly, avoiding eye contact with Emily.
"Well no offense miss Rose..." Emily starts in a sarcastic tone, emphasizing the name Rose pointing out the failure of not knowing her real name. "But you are standing on a bridge in the middle of the night...there wouldn't be any light in the sky, besides the stars and airplanes." Emily reasons.
"There's a method to my madness, it's clear that you don't have a clue." The blonde mutters in a lower voice.
"Well clue me in. Why are we still sitting here on this bridge. Why aren't we walking away. What's so dark that you can't see a clearer sky." Emily asks in a desperately concerned voice. She has a feeling the blonde may not jump but still, there's an off chance that she will and Emily definitely feels that there's still a chance of talking her down.
The blonde just gives her a wistful smile. "There are things worth knowing and some things that are not. Like the illusion that there's no such thing as monsters is wrong. Our parents teach us about monsters as a scare tactic to keep us in line. They're just ghost stories, something that doesn't really exist. But that's the thing, they exist and they haunt our very existence. But only a select few know that. The unlucky few." The blonde states before turning to face Emily with a serious look on her face. "And once you know that, you can't un-know it, because it follows you, it lurks in the shadows and hides in your darkest places. It waits for you to let your guard down before it presents itself in the form of comfort. And it continues to follow, causing a paranoia within you until you view everyone as a threat and you seclude yourself until your alone and unsure of anything. And soon you find yourself sitting on the ledge of an abandoned bridge waiting...unsure of what you're waiting on." She says looking away from Emily. She feels much more vulnerable now because of the extent of the words she revealed but felt some form of relief as the words that float around her head spills out into riddles. Her secret is safe but her load is lighter.
Emily on the other hand just frowns in confusion. She understood the words but remains unclear of its implications. But one thing that does remain certain is that the mystery blonde sits here on this ledge because her darkness is now surrounding her and she has nowhere else to go.
"I have an unborn sister out there somewhere. And it's not from my mom. My dad..." Emily starts taking a deep breath before continuing. "He's been having an affair for years with another woman in his unit, and it blew up so bad that we were forced to move from my hometown. And that's how I ended up here. I came out around the same time, so on top of my mom losing her husband to a girl half her age, she also lost her daughter to what she called the demons of our generation. Our family is falling apart and the only thing that holds us together...well I don't know what we are hanging on too...honestly I've just been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like any minute I'll come home to an empty house, shattered pictures, and a broken parent...which one? I'm unsure of." Emily says. The subject causing her great discomfort. She finally surrenders to her nasty habit and reaches into her pocket, grabbing another cigarette. She takes the lighter out of her pocket looking at its empty contents with a sunken feeling in her chest. The crave she has for the nicotine causes her great pain...or pretend pain, she just needed to harness her anger towards one object and the stupid lighter in her hand seemed to do the trick. She takes a deep breath to calm her nerves before angrily tossing the lighter into the lake. She runs a hand through her hair to fight her frustration before she exhales loudly.
The blonde just stares at her with a sympathetic look before it turns blank. "Why are you telling me this?" She asks confused.
Emily just stares at her twitching hands as she ponders the question. She offers a shrug in substitute of an answer before giving her a real one. "I don't know. It...it feels good to tell somebody..." She trails off with a sigh before she looks the blonde in the eye. "I guess I just thought that if I told you then you wouldn't feel so alone...maybe you'd know that you're not the only one who's sick of waking up in darkness, even though we prefer to hide in the night." Emily offers.
Alone. That's a word that the blonde has known to be associated with negative notations, but she's often looked to it for comfort. She remembers the times that she's craved the feeling of disappearing from the world and everyone around her. People often think that being alone is...well lonely. But she knows the true meaning of being alone...and the comfort that it provides. But the type of alone that Emily refers to is something entirely different. Something that she knows has caused her a great deal of pain...but now after hearing Emily's words it causes her a great form of relief to know that she doesn't stand alone in the dark...just alone in her situation.
"My name is Lauren." The blonde says. Her words ranging true, even if they hold a form of deceit to them.
Emily looks up in surprise at hearing her name for the first time. She studies the blondes face with uncertainty. The blonde doesn't look like a Lauren but then again she doesn't know if she even looks like an Emily. She fears that the blonde is just giving her a name for the sake of it, but Emily concludes that her thoughts aren't based on concrete evidence so she'll leave it alone.
"Damn...I was hoping from now on I could of called you Rose." Emily jokes to ease the mood, not wanting to make a big deal out of learning the blondes true identity.
Lauren just smiles and shakes her head. This Emily girl was nothing if not persistent and normally this would bother her, but she some how finds it enduring to have her by her side, especially on this darkest night.
"Can I tell you another secret?" Emily asks.
Lauren turns to face her with a concerned look in her eyes. "Anything." She breaths out.
"I'm deathly afraid of heights. And you being up there is really fucking with my nerves." Emily admits with a shrug.
And Lauren gets it. She gets what Emily is trying to do. She talked her down, she opened up to her and she gave her a sign that she could trust her. Now she's testing her, seeing if she really will step away from the ledge or if she really will end it all right now. Normally Lauren is not one to back down...once she has something in her head she commits. And she definitely wasn't ready to head back into reality yet, but she also didn't want to cause this Emily girl anymore distress with the illusion of a death that was never to come in the first place. So Lauren digresses and stands up along the ledge.
This causes Emily's heart to drop in the pit of her stomach. She fears she's pushed the blonde to far and that she might just actually jump in retaliation, but when Lauren turns to face her, offering her a hand, she lets out a deep breath of relief and takes it, attempting to help her down.
In the process Lauren loses her footing and slips from the ledge, but luckily for her Emily was there to catch her and she lands in her arms, unfortunately Emily also loses her balance and falls back against the concrete where she smacks her head hard against the ground. The impact causing her to slowly lose consciousness.
"Shit!" She hears Lauren shout as she fights to keep her eyes open. "I am so sorry Emily...can you hear me...Emily!" She hears her scream as she shakes her shoulders.
Emily just blinks her eyes open and shut as she attempts to remain conscious, but even she knows she's fighting the inevitable. "Can I tell you one more secret?" She asks, a lazy smile forms on her face, before she stops fighting it and closes her eyes.
"Yes! Anything!" A distraught Lauren says as she tries in vain to keep Emily awake.
"You're not so different from Rose." Emily slurs out.
Lauren just frowns in confusion at her words. "What?"
"You wouldn't have jumped...but I..." Emily starts but trails off as she falls into slumber. "I would have went after you..." And with those final words Emily slips unconscious.
Lauren just stares in confusion at Emily's words. The truth in her post slumber breath causes her heart to clench at the gesture. But she had bigger concerns than someone caring enough to go over a bridge for her, even if they just met. And that was what the hell was she supposed to do with Emily...or how was she supposed to get her home?
