Joss Whedon and Andy Breckman are the geniuses, not me.

Written for Writer's Choice LJ Community's challenge #91 of "Bloody."

Mr. Monk and the Vampire
by Zzilly14

"Bloody hell!" Spike yelled, confused at the dark-haired man sweeping the floor of his crypt. "Are you insane?"

The man looked up. "There was dirt... everywhere. You'll thank me later."

"Who are you and what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm Adrian Monk, private detective," he replied. "I'm helping the police on a case. Where were you this morning?"

The bleach blond laughed before lighting a cigarette. "Here, of course."

"Can you prove it?" Monk wondered.

"I'm allergic to the sun."

The defective detective coughed, "Excuse me?"

Spike sighed before vamping out. "Is this proof enough for you?"