It's A Wonderful Life - by K. Phillips

Disclaimer info: Don't own but like to write about them

Rating: PG-13

Archive: Anywhere is fine with me, just let me know

Reviews: Would love to know what you think xfstories@yahoo.com

Summary: Mulder thinks that Scully and the world in general would be a better place without him. Is he right?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Chapter One - Oh God, Not Again

George Washington Hospital Tuesday 2:46am

Mulder sat by the hospital bed gently holding Scully's hand. He raised it to lips and kissed it softly before placing it back on the bed and bending over to move a strand of errant hair from Scully's forehead.

She looked so peaceful laying there with the only outward sign of her injury a small tube feeding her oxygen through her nose and the small monitor on her finger.

Mulder knew, however, that looks could be very deceiving and that beneath the hospital gown was a large bullet wound inflicted earlier that evening when he and his partner had cornered a pair of Satan worshipers just outside of DC.

The two men had been arrested, but had not gone down without a fight. They had taken several shots at Mulder and Scully - missing him and hitting her squarely in the chest.

It seemed to Mulder an eternity before the ambulance came and rushed them to George Washington Hospital. It seemed even longer as they performed emergency surgery on her.

The doctor had managed to remove the bullet and repair the damage as best he could. The rest was up to Scully.

Mulder replayed the events of that night over and over in his head. He picked up her hand again and whispered "God Scully, why is it always you? Couldn't it for once have been me?"

Mulder's whispers of desperation were interrupted by one of Scully's surgeons who had stopped by to check on her progress.

"Agent Mulder, you are still here? I thought by now you would have gone home to get a least a little rest."

"I can't do that Doctor. Agent Scully's mother is in California visiting her brother and won't be here until sometime tomorrow and I don't feel right leaving her alone."

The doctor nodded. "I can appreciate that Agent Mulder, but for the time being I must ask that you leave. I would like to do an examination on Agent Scully and I would prefer it if you weren't in the room. Why don't you go down to the cafeteria for a cup of coffee?"

Mulder didn't want to leave but recognized that he had little choice in the matter so he gave Scully's hand a parting squeeze and walked out of the room.

It was going on 3am and the halls of the hospital were all but deserted. Mulder savored the quiet knowing that tomorrow he would not only have to deal with AD Skinner, but with Scully's mother.

He had almost reached the cafeteria when a small sign caught his eye.

"Chapel" it read in small precise letters.

As a rule, Mulder had very little to do with religion but nonetheless found himself drawn into the little chapel. It was simply decorated in a style that would not offend any Christian religion.

He sat down in the second pew and looked up at the plain wooden alter right before him.

He didn't necessarily believe in God, but he knew Scully did. Therefore he thought it only proper to give Scully's God his opinion about what had happened to her that night.

He tried to be humble but his words came out as pure anger towards a God who would let a good person such as Scully suffer so much and disgust at himself for letting it happen.

"You, you are supposed to be such a great and powerful God. If you really are, why are you letting this happen to her? She has done nothing but serve you and this is how you repay her?"

Mulder took a deep breath, put his head in his hands and continued speaking.

"I am sorry. I shouldn't really blame you when most of what has happened to Dana is because of me. If it weren't for me, her sister would be alive and Scully would probably be happily married with a ton of kids. God, I think your mistake was letting me be born. I think Scully, and probably a lot of other people, would have much better off if you hadn't brought me into this world."

"Now why would you say a thing like that?"

Mulder was so startled by the voice of the man sitting next to him that he jumped to his feet reaching for his service weapon. Luckily for both of them, he had left it with hospital security.

Mulder quickly appraised the man. He was a small unassuming man with gray hair and kind eyes. He was dressed in a simple gray suit and carried a small book in his hand. If Mulder wasn't mistaken, it was titled "Tom Sawyer".

"I am sorry I didn't mean to startle you. I was just very curious why you would think the world would be a better place without you."

Mulder stared at the man in puzzlement. "Just who are you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry I forgot to introduce myself. I am Clarence."

Mulder still kept a wary eye on the man. "Okay, Clarence, would you like to tell me what you are doing in this chapel at this time of night."

"Well, I believe my intent was the same as yours Fox. I came here to pray for you and Agent Scully."

Mulder's eyes grew huge at the mention of his and Scully's names.

"Who are you and how do you know about me and Scully?"

"Oh, my mistake again - I guess it wouldn't be obvious to you. Especially since your faith fails you so often."

"What wouldn't be obvious?" Mulder prompted getting more annoyed by the minute.

"Sorry, I should really stop rambling and get to the point."

"Which is?"

"Which is, that I am your guardian angel."

Mulder sat down and tried very hard not to laugh. Obviously they had let someone out of the psych ward that night.

"My guardian angel?" Mulder said "As in 'It's A Wonderful Life'?"

"No that was just a movie. Everyone knows that angels don't get their wings when a bell rings. It takes a lot more work than that."

Mulder smiled his interest piquing now. "And exactly what does one have to do to get ones wings these days?"

"One has to help a lost soul find their way."

Mulder laughed out loud at this "And you have been sent here to help me?"

Clarence gave Mulder a quick dirty look then smiled. "Yes, I have. You are pretty much what stands between me and my wings."

"Then I hope you are ready to walk for the rest of eternity"

Clarence laughed. "Don't worry Fox, I have much more faith in you that you do. Now explain to me why you think the world would be a better place without you. And if you can prove your case to me, maybe I will help you achieve your goal."

Mulder then briefly summarized his theories on the pain that his existence had caused others. He started with the murders of Melissa Scully and his father and then went on to list all the ailments and injuries that had been inflicted upon Scully.

"So you see, Clarence, things would be better without me."

"Fox your life is a gift from above. Do you really think throwing that away is what you really want?"

Mulder paused a moment. "Yes, I think it is. Can you do that?"

Clarence bent his head as in prayer and Mulder briefly wondered if he was consulting the Almighty for instructions.

After a moment, Clarence lifted up his head and looked Mulder square in the eyes. "Done. You no longer exist."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

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