In a very humorous mood so I'm gonna write my short one-shot for my beloved Trekkie Monster! (My cat!) I hope you guys like it! Whomever reads this, review!

~fandango2girl


Why Is The Internet For Porn?

Kate is cautiously knocking on the door of her less than decent pervert friend. "Oh me no here right now! Me busy!" She hears.

"Trekkie, it's me Kate." She calls. Ever since the musical number he had created from her own lesson plan, Kate had been wondering why it was so necessary to interrupt at the right moments.

"Ohhhh. Come in." He says.

Kate enters the cluttered room full of X rated posters, random wads of cash, the internet connection (of course), and the laptop. "Uhmm, yes, I have a question about–"

"Shhhh! This the best part!" Kate leaned down to see what it was he was looking at. She closed her eyes in disgust, nearly passing out. There were two females having dildo sex on full frame. After five more minutes of the crap-tastical filled lesbian affair, Trekkie turned to Kate and smiled his signature grin. "Okay. What you want?"

"I was just wondering…" She paused. "You remember when you told me the internet was for porn?"

"Yes, then you go teach kindergarten babies the miracle discovery." His voice was rough and grizzly, but that was always how it was.

"Well, I was just wondering, what makes porn so entertaining? Why is the internet for porn?"

"Ohhhh. You think internet porn only for men. Here." He patted the ground beside him. He pulled up a male/female sex video. "I get you started with what you used to; then we move on from there."

Kate sat beside Trekkie and watched the heated performance reluctantly. "You think he not hot?" Trekkie asked at the end, seeing her disgusted face at the end.

"No, it's just gross. Sex is not a matter to share with the world." Kate replied, a shiver running up her back.

"Ohhhh! Girls so confusing! They spend all time reading secrets of sex, but they no stand for when see sex for real!" He shook his head. "This like the book of sex in movie version." He explained.

"It's not the same–" Kate started.

"It is same! You read The Notebook and cry, cry, cry. See the movie cry, cry, cry. You read of sex and entertained. You watch sex and disgusted!" He shakes his head with genuine confusion.

"Well, The Notebook was dramatic and passionate and–"

"You say that not dramatic and passionate?"

Kate thinks for a while. "May I watch another video, Trekkie? I think I missed the point of the first one."

Later that day…

Princeton left his apartment and knocked on Nicky's and Rod's door. Nicky answered the door and gave him a warm smile. "Hey, buddy!"

"Nicky, have you seen Kate? She hasn't been home in hours." Princeton sounded frantic.

"Erm… last I saw, she was going upstairs to ask Trekkie something." Nicky replied, fingering the stubble on his chin.

"Thanks!" Princeton was already gone. He raced up the stairs and knocked loudly on the door.

"Ohhhh!" He heard the familiar groaning.

"Come in." A softer, feminine voice called. Princeton nearly ripped the door off its hinges. "Oh hello, Princeton." Kate smiled sweetly in his direction before turning back to the screen.

"Hey, Kate, I was–" Princeton panted.

"Shhhh!" Kate hissed through a mouthful of popcorn. "This the best part." She mumbled through the kernels.

"What best part? What are you…" Princeton looked on the monitor and nearly fainted. Was Kate – his lovable, sweet, not dirty Kate – actually watching that? "Oh my god!" He shouted.

"What is it, Princeton?" Kate looked at him, innocence filling her tone.

"What are you watching?" He choked to get the words out.

"What does it look like, silly?" She laughed. He gave her a weird spastic look. "What? Do you not think she's hot?" She raised an eyebrow.

"It's not that… it's just…" He paused and took a breath. "Why are you watching it?"

"Because it's entertaining." Kate shrugged. "Come on, you can watch with us." She patted the ground beside her. Princeton gradually inched into his seat, still staring at the mysterious creature who had taken over Kate. "Ooooh! This one looks promising." She clicked a related video in the box beside the screen.

The End!


A/N: So that is how Kate learned her lesson. Confusion about lines: I know Kate missed her lesson and didn't get to teach, but Trekkie doesn't because he was busy. When they fell asleep after "Loud As The Hell You Want," he didn't care too much about them anymore. And that is my excuse. Hope you like it! Review please, if anyone ever reads this. No one ever reads Avenue Q stuff... poof