Nodame cantabile is not belong to me, this is my first fanfic, please be nice


Chapter 1: Regrets

His eyes opened, bewildered to search some existence that has gone, he can still sense it, but it's only in his fantasies, her eyes while she pleads.

"Do you really like me?" Nodame simply asked, i hate the way she looked at me with her big brown eyes, I regretted the way i just not answering that direct question, to simply again, asking what not to be asked, denying to answer, pretending to not understand, pretending yes, that's what he keeps doing, pretending, that she is the freak, a hentai. His only wish now is to rewind all that, and make her still in his side. That morning when he thought she's better, he's wrong, once again her eyes directly on his, asking to be married, and he just walk away, he knows something wrong, but he just once again running away and now she's the one who walk away, she is really gone from his sight, and he didn't know what to do with his life.

He tried to sit down and again he failed. The second bottle still in his hand, emptied, he still have the third and the fourth, bottle is his friend now, his best friend and companions. He still wearing the shirt he wore for last night concert, he is Chiaki Shinichi, world new acclaimed young conductor, he did it again, the concert was perfect, but why did he felt like this? He felt so empty, NO, he is now merely a stupid heartbroken guy. Its ache so bad, he never thought she means that much for him. He looks around, his eyes start to adjust the dimmed light from outside, his room stills the same, but sure it feels wrong, its F***king clean, and tidy, that just make a pang in his heart, this is not happening if he is not keep pretending, keep lying to his own heart. He knows something going on in her mind that day, but he once again made-up to his mind that is the usual Nodame, strange and weird. I should say it, I should tell her what exactly he feels about her that morning, now that when she's gone, he has all, but nothing inside.

He thought she can be tamed by playing piano duet, Mozart, for the old sake. She said she's different person now. She was indeed, but she still make him magically captivated, he adore her uniquely playing, her pouted mouth, her feeling captured through each keys in her finger, he memorized it all, he love it all, he misunderstood her smiles, her eyes on him while they playing together, oh he thought only what he wanted. After she's done, she just sits there blankly, he had an urge to hold her, to feel her in his arm but he just waited, and he waited. He thought, once again he thought what he wanted, she asleep as usual after playing the piece so hard , he stand before her, to gently bring her to his apartment, but suddenly she stood up, abruptly and he startled himself.

"Nodame can't, sorry senpai, sayonara" she actually left with tears pool waiting to be dropped. She is directly looked at him as she defeated, then she smiles, and leaving him strangled. He regretted to just standing there watching her running, run from his life, even when he tried to call her, text her, or even waited her in conservatoire, but she already left. When he arrived in her apartment, her stupid stuff gone, he can't believe his eyes, her apartment is empty. He is too late.

"She went in a hurry, she only gave me the keys, Chiaki" said the Anna, the caretaker sadly. She looks shocked too. I just smiled weakly, don't know what to say to her, to say I'm failing, that I'm losing the only person I gave my heart to. Gosh it's hurt to see this emptied apartment. Without knowing my feet betrayed me to my room, to find emptiness, I know she's not there, but I keep wishing when I opened the door , and there she is, smiling, "okaeri senpai".

I need my wine, where is it, I open a bottle, no bother to drink in glass, straight from the bottle, I drank the liquid fast enough to buried the sting in my throat, the bitterness still escape in the corner of my eyes. Yes I'm Chiaki Shinici and I'm failing to have someone I needed most, God now I'm failing now. Where is she? Why she did this to me?


So, how was it, FYI , English is not my first language, I still need to work on my grammar, please review, thanks for reading it.