A/N: Hi everyone! It's been a long time since I wrote a fic. In fact, I up and deleted everything from all my accounts and computer, thinking I'd never write again. But here I am with this ship. You can blame this story on a recent rewatch of The Holiday (I was inspired by it but it's not going to be exactly like it), and ideas that just won't leave me. I know, the AU no one asked for. I haven't read the books yet so any characterisation is film based. Also, English isn't my first language and this posted without a beta.

This is going to be from Jeanine's point of view, as I find her quite the interesting character. I'll try to show an emotional evolution/development as the story unfolds (will I succeed? Stay tuned to find out.) Veronica Roth has mentioned that Jeanine suffers of deep anxiety so this will be included in the story from time to time, in fact it appears on the first chapter. I'll always warn when anxiety is featured, in case anyone is triggered by it.

Before I forget, I've changed the ages for the story. Jeanine is 40, therefore younger than the books state (according to google), and Tris is 21. The age difference between them is still there as you can see. Also, if there's a mistake on the ranks mentioned below you can all blame google.


I have found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said, "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that but I'm more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I'm constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said, "Love is blind." Now, that is something I know to be true. For some, quite inexplicably, love fades. For others, love is simply lost. But then, of course, love can also be found even if just for the night. And then there's another kind of love. The cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It's called unrequited love. Of that, I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories? Those of us who fall in love alone. We are the victims of the one-sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones. The walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space. - Iris Simpkins.


One could say Jeanine Matthews has it all. In truth, she has everything that matters to her which means a key element for mere mortals is missing in her life: love.

A self made woman with an extraordinary brilliant mind, in fact she's one of the most intelligent people alive, or dead. To be precise, with her IQ of 200 she ranks as the fifth person - and number one woman - in recorded history. With a net worth of 5$ billion she ranks as the eighth richest woman in America; all those that rank above her, are either a heiress or married into wealthy family and/or the actual man who has the money. Which, in her eyes, simply makes her better than them (and yes, one could say she's narcisstic to hold such belief) as she built her own empire from scratch and her own advances in technology and science have made her a household name in her fields. And much to her chagrin, it seldomly lands her on most elegible bachelorrete lists boasting about three qualities: her wealth, her beauty and her brain. In that exact order, as apparently being intelligent can't be deemed good enough to be put in first place.

Just like the qualities mentioned in articles written about her, three details are always brought up when describing her: her watery grey eyes, her impeccably blonde hair always slicked in an updo, and the layer of pudge about her midriff - one Jeanine has spent years trying to rid herself of, but that at her forty years of age has not left her and she doubts ever will.

A woman who is equally respected as she's feared by her employees and the science community, perhaps everyone in her life feels the same. As is the widely spread belief that she's completely incapable of feeling human emotion, that she's more robotic than human. Her last partner falls under the same group of believers, one she has unceremoniously kicked out of her life and penthouse after catching him in bed with another woman. In another situation, Jeanine would have felt amusement at his audacity: blaming her for his infidelity. She works too much, she's too smart, she's too successful, she's too emotionally unavailable. It all boils down to her being too much, and him not being enough.

The logical conclusion is simple, put an end to the relationship and move on. After three years of companionship, one mostly driven by her primal basic needs on her end, Jeanine feels only emptiness within her. Which is not truly a bad thing, if one is to be guided by her standards. Love is irrational in her mind, it cannot be analysed or studied, though through observation she has gathered two conclusions: first, it makes people act foolishly and second, they are left vulnerable therefore easy to manipulate.

Human nature is what drives her to seek relationships. The raw and visceral need to know that, after an extremely tiring trying day, she has a pair of arms to fall back on and make her forget everything. Or that when her desire arises, she has someone to quench it with. This, of course, is something she considers a weakness. If there were only a way for her to be rid of once and for all of her human nature!

Life and fate, however, have other plans in motion for Jeanine. Plans, that are about to unfold in the following weeks...