A/N: Hey, this is going to be a multi-chapter fic. Shouldn't be too long, but who knows. Urm, set in season 3 I guess, cos Caseys back. But Frank Snr. is still there, so yeah. Maybe this should be considered just totally AU. I don't know. So, urm...yeah, enjoy? Review? whatever :P ahaha...have fun!
Disclaimer: I own zilch. I am poor :P I can't even afford to buy my wifey a ring ;)
"I'm in love with you."
Those were the only words on the piece of paper Jane was currently holding onto for her life. She could hear her best friend say them as she felt across the letters, feeling their indent on the paper. She could her say it though, because she could remember her saying them to her the last time they were together, 3 weeks ago. Which was Janes wedding day.
"Congratulations baby. It's finally here. Are you ready to be Mrs Casey Jones?" Jane felt her eyes begin to water uncontrollably as her mother spoke and gave compliments on the dress Jane she was wearing, despite knowing how much her daughter had protested to wearing it in the first place. It wasn't that she wasn't happy to be getting married. She was, she loved Casey. But that was all. She wasn't in love with him. But she figured that the person she was in love with would never love her back and, feeling she owed Casey happiness, she agreed to marry him.
"Yeh. Course I am, Ma. Wouldn't be here if I wasn't would I?"
She just didn't want to hurt him. So, she went along with it all. Buying a dress, even though she wanted a suit (only one person could get her into a dress that easily and Casey most certainly wasn't them). She met with her old priest, put on fake smiles at her engagement party, even had a family meal with Casey and his parents. There was always something missing though. Maura. She wasn't invited to the meal, not being immediate family and all, or so Casey argued. Jane wanted her there, more than anything. She was Mauras family, even if it wasn't by blood. She was Maura's everything. Just as Jane was Maura's. But Casey said no, told Angela she couldn't come and Angela conceded. Why go against the man who would be making an honest woman of her daughter? So she had to go, alone, and sit through hours of boring talk and childhood tales which she could care less about, whilst texting her best friend under the table. After, she went to Mauras and complained about the whole event, but Casey rang as they were preparing for bed and convinced Jane to return to her apartment where he was waiting for her.
"Oh, Maura darling. You look stunning. Janie, you picked such lovely dresses for your bridesmaids. Who knew you had it in you?" She grinned.
"Ma. Stop. Maura picked her own dress and we just got the others the same. I did nothin'. It was all her. She's the genius behind this." She spoke, gazing lovingly at the mentioned woman.
"Thank you Mrs Rizzoli. But I must say Jane is the one who is looking stunning. She's absolutely beautiful."
"Hey! I thought you couldn't lie."
"I can't! And even if I could, a matter such as this I would never lie about. Jane..." Maura slowly stepped towards her, lowering her voice so the woman she was talking to would be the only one to hear her speak. "I've never seen anyone look as beautiful, or...magnificent as you do now."
They gazed into each other's eyes for a few moments, passing unspoken messages to the other. In that moment, Jane was certain her feelings were reciprocated. But she daren't question it. Not now. And especially not in the presence of her mother.
"I'm really glad you're here Maura. You're my best friend, my chosen family. I...I couldn't do this without you." Jane stuttered, the emotions of what she was about to do getting to her.
Maura nodded, too overwhelmed herself at the days events to speak anymore. Jane sensed something in Maura just wanting to break free, and Jane wanted...no needed, to know what it was before she left that room and changed her life.
"Ma, girls, could...could you give us a minute?"
Maura stepped away from Jane and walked to the dresser, away from Angela, in hopes of disguising her tears from the others in the room.
"Janie! No...you need to go out yourself soon. You can talk to Maura afterwards."
"Ma. Out. Now." Jane growled at her mother, wishing she'd take a hint. With a huff, her mother nodded and turned, leaving the room. But not before warning them she'd be back in 5 minutes and they better be ready for her. Hesitantly, Jane approached the shorter woman. "Maur..."
"You really are beautiful Jane. Casey is lucky. You must love him very much."
"I do." She noticed Maura's shoulders slump. Feeling more hopeful, she continued. "But not enough. It'll never be enough."
The doctor gasped, turning to face Jane tears forming in her eyes. "What...what are you saying Jane? Do you not want to marry him?"
"I din't say that. I just said...I don't love 'im enough. I'm not in love with him Maura."
"Could you grow to?"
The tall brunette shook her head. "No. Not as long as I have you."
Shocked, Maura looked Jane directly in the eye. "I'm in love with you Jane. I'm so in love with you." Grinning, Jane quickly stepped over to Maura, putting her hands on the shorter womans arms and pulling her closer. "I love you." Jane leaned closer, aiming to brush the blondes soft, plump lips with her own. "But it's too late."
Jane stalled. "Maur. No...what?"
"You need to go out there, and marry Casey. Because he deserves you more than I do. He makes you happy, you make him happy."
"No. Maura, you make me happy."
"Jane, listen." She cupped the detectives cheeks, keeping her in place. She wiped away a few tears before continuing. "Me and you, Jane, we'd never work out. We're too different. Casey...he's your high school sweetheart. Who can compete with that? I...I'm just...the 'queen of the dead'. Who'd pick her over him?"
"Me, Maura. I pick you. I'd pick you every time if you gave me the chance!" Jane was sobbing visibly by now. The woman she loved, loved her back, and was telling her to get married anyway.
"Jane, please. Don't make this harder, okay. Yes, I love you...but I'll never be enough for you. You can learn to love Casey as much as you love me. You have to."
"No-"
"-Yes Jane. I'm no good for you. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve you giving up the rest of your life to spend with me. I'm sorry Jane, I really am. But this is what's best for you."
"Do I not get a say? This is my life, surely I get to choose how to spend it?" Jane argued, forcing Mauras hands off her face.
"You already did. You said yes to him Jane. You didn't have to, on some level, you love him enough to marry him. And I refuse to compete with that. I will not break that man's heart just to do what my own wishes." Stepping again closer to Jane, Maura this time put just one hand on her cheek, the other resting on the taller woman's hips. "I love you Jane. But you should be with him."
Closing the distance between them, Maura firmly placed her lips on top of the other woman's and kissed her passionately. Finally, breaking away for air, the women leant their foreheads together.
"Please, Maura. Don't do this. Don't break my heart by walking out of this room."
"It'll heal. He'll heal it. Me...I'm nothing." Stepping away from the other way, she reached down, straightening her dress. "I think I should go."
"You don't hav-"
"Yes. I do...because if I stay, I won't be able to let him marry you. And you have to. So, I'm going."
"Maura...at least..."
"At least what, Jane?"
"One more time? For me to remember?" She pleaded, puppy dog eyes coming out.
The blonde chuckled, a smile finally falling on her lips. "As long as you promise not to think of it when you're with him. I couldn't bear-"
"-Never, Maura. I could never do that."
Maura nodded, and did as the woman asked. She kissed her, with all the passion and love she could muster, tasting the other woman on her tongue. She broke away before it became too much for her. "Goodbye Jane." She whispered, before rushing out of the door leaving Jane on her own.
A/N: There it is. Chapter 1, tad on the short side, but it'll be right...what d'you think? Rushed? Out of character? Alright? Lemme know!
