What would we do for the ones we love? What would we be willing to sacrifice for them? How far would we be willing to go? These are questions most people hope never to ask themselves. However, Kenny and Kyle weren't most people. From the moment they declared their love for each other, they knew that it wasn't going to end well. For Kenny, it was because nothing ever ended well for him. Kyle, on the other hand, had so many character flaws that he was scared he would drive Kenny away. Yet, in spite of their fears, they stuck together until the bitter end.
On the night that Kyle died, he was going out with Kenny for their six-month anniversary. After picking him up, Kenny drove Kyle to his favorite restaurant, where Kenny had made reservations.
"Kenny, this is really childish, you know? Why can't you just tell me where we're going?"
"It's a surprise. Now no peeking!"
"Fine..."
"Relax; we're almost there..."
Kyle often became exhausted from Kenny's childish ideas, but he was used to it. They had been friends for as long as either of them remembered, and while their relationship was new, to them, it felt as if they had been dating for years.
"Alright, we're here. You can open your eyes now."
While Kyle tried to see where they were, the blond boy rushed to the other side of the car to open Kyle's door. Kyle was amused by Kenny's gentleman-like behaviour, especially given what he was usually like, but he also appreciated the fact that Kenny tried his best to make him happy, even if it was something he didn't usually do.
"How did you get us reservations here?"
"I saved up a lot of money."
"Three part-time jobs just for this... I really hope it's worth it."
"...Thanks for this, Ken. I really needed to get away from my mom."
"What did she do this time?"
"You know, the same crap as before. She-"
"Hello, boys. How can I help you?"
"Yeah, I made a reservation under the name 'McCormick' for... Well, for right now."
"Let me just check the computer... Right, this way."
Kenny had reserved a table far away from the most commonly used ones, so they could have some privacy. Tonight, Kyle was his, and only his. And he had no intention of sharing him with anyone else.
"One night just for us... That's much more than we usually have."
After the boys payed for their meal, Kenny walked Kyle back to his house, albeit slowly. Neither of them wanted to leave each other's side.
"C'mon, do you really have to go?"
"It's late, Kyle. Your mom's already on edge about us. If we take too long, she's gonna do something stupid."
"...I know... I just... I want to be with you..."
"I know, Kyle. I want to be with you too. But we'll see each other again tomorrow. I promise."
"...Thanks, Ken."
Kyle intertwined his fingers with Kenny's and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling him into a big hug.
"...You know I love you, right, Ken?"
"I know. I love you too."
As the boys joined lips for their umpteenth kiss, a dark figure approached them. The stranger was taller and bulkier than both of them, which sent shivers down both of their spines. He approached them, coughing loudly, and finally pointed a gun at them.
"Give me your money or die."
His voice was every bit as intimidating as his appearance, which sent Kyle into a frantic search for his wallet. However, because of Kenny's planning, he hadn't brought a single cent with him, and Kenny had already spent all his money at the restaurant, so his was empty.
"I-I don't have any!"
"How about you, blondie?"
"I-I don't have any either. I spent it all..."
The thief, angered by the boys' reaction, pulled the trigger, aiming at Kyle. Kenny tried to protect him by jumping in front of the bullet, but he was too slow. Kyle collapsed onto the ground, bleeding profusely. The thief, surprised and terrified by his actions, dropped his gun, ran as quickly as he could, and finally disappeared. Kenny, in spite of his shaky hands, managed to dial 911, whilst applying pressure to the wound, but it was too late. By the time the ambulance arrived, Kyle was pale and cold. The paramedics still carried his body into the ambulance and attempted to revive him several times on the way to the hospital, but it was of no use. Kyle was gone. Kenny shook his lifeless body in disbelief, until he had to be separated by the paramedics and nearly tied down. His tears flowed just as the blood had flowed from Kyle's wound, until he couldn't cry anymore and completely shut down. He stared absently at the floor as he mumbled Kyle's name, followed by incomprehensible words and sobs. The paramedics glanced at each other, feeling sorry for Kenny, but without showing it. They didn't know what to do in that situation. Anything they did would probably just make Kenny feel worse, and so they decided to remain quiet.
When the ambulance arrived at the hospital, Kenny slowly dragged himself to the same room they were putting Kyle's body in and sat down next to him. He could hear Kyle's mother over the phone, yelling at the staff, but he didn't care. He was overwhelmed with guilt. He blamed himself for Kyle's death, even though he was still in denial about its occurrence.
"Kyle... I'm so sorry... I... I can't... I did this..."
The entire ward seemed to be completely silent, as if to give Kenny a moment of peace. However, that peace didn't last forever. The next sound he heard was Kyle's mother, screaming at the top of her lungs for her son. She was obviously distraught, which is why nobody dared to question the irrationality of the action, until she finally arrived at the room Kyle was in. She glared at Kenny from across the room and rushed to Kyle's side. She shared Kenny's feelings of denial, but her hatred for Kenny was nothing compared to Kenny's own. At that moment, nobody hated him or could have hated him more than himself. He wanted to die a million times over; not just to punish himself, but to be reunited with Kyle.
Kenny had never felt so small in his life. The space between himself and Kyle's bed seemed like it would take an infinite amount of time to traverse, yet it was just within arm's reach. Kyle's family's voices seemed like distant, incomprehensible noise, completely drowned out by his own thoughts. They raced through his mind like bullets, all with one constant – suicide. More than anything, Kenny wanted to be with Kyle again. To hold him again. To hear his voice; his childish laughter... Anything. Just seeing him alive again for a fraction of a second would be a nice reprieve from all of his pain. But he knew it wasn't going to happen. Kyle was gone.
Kenny was so focused on his thoughts that he didn't even notice Kyle's mother approaching him.
"...This is all your fault."
That sentence pierced his mind, completely shattering every one of his thoughts, save for his most suicidal ones. Ike, however, was paying attention to his mother and approached Kenny after she stepped outside, to convince him that it wasn't his fault, even though he believed otherwise.
"...Kenny, I... It's not... You couldn't have..."
Ike tried as hard as he could, but he couldn't tell Kenny what he didn't believe in the first place. He thought it was Kenny's fault just as much as he did; maybe even more so. Every word he said that hinted otherwise just made him angrier at Kenny.
"No. She's right. I did this. I insisted on that stupid date, and now he's dead... This is all my fault."
"I couldn't save him... He's dead because of me."
"...I should go."
Kenny glanced at Kyle one last time and quickly left the hospital. He felt like he was about to pass out, but he managed to stumble his way to his house and into his room, where he finally lied down, exhausted. The only thing on his mind was Kyle, and how much he wanted to be with him again. Suicide would never work; he would just wake up in his room again, as always. As he realized that he wouldn't be with Kyle again until he was too old to remember him anymore, Kenny's hatred for himself grew exponentially, until he could no longer take it anymore. The guilt, pain and loss of Kyle had completely destroyed him. Now he felt compelled to punish himself in every way possible. He ran into his father's room, searching for where he kept his gun, and, once he found and loaded it, aimed it at his heart and shot himself. As he felt his strength fading away once again, Kenny smiled to himself, thinking that this is the way it should have been.
"...Where am I?"
Kyle blinked a few times, trying to focus on what was in front of him, but there was an intense light surrounding him that made it impossible to see.
"It's bright, isn't it? Don't worry; you'll get used to it in a few minutes."
"...Is this heaven?"
"What did you expect? You got shot in the heart, kid... Not many people walk away from that."
"I-I don't... I don't remember that..."
"Really? Hm... Well, that happens sometimes. I wouldn't worry about that too much. Come on; let me give you the tour."
"But I can't see..."
"Oh, right. Sorry! Let me see if I can fix that..."
The stranger placed his hand on Kyle's head, mumbling to himself as he did, and Kyle was finally able to see clearly. The first thing he focused on was his new friend. He was a tall man, with dark brown eyes and a long beard. Every hair on his body was pure white, except for his beard, which still had a few grey ones. The man had a kind smile that made Kyle feel at ease, in spite of his current situation.
"So, uh... Where are all the people?"
"Up there."
Kyle turned his gaze upward and verified that there were, in fact, countless people above them. They seemed to be standing on a surface that, seen from below, was completely transparent, yet, to them, it was opaque. Or so Kyle thought. They could have just been ignoring the others below, having lived in heaven for so long. He didn't know. He was so amazed by how calmly people seemed to be handling everything that he started to wonder if he wasn't just hallucinating everything.
"I wish I could be up there with them... But I'm stuck here with guide duty for the next thousand years or so. I mean, don't get me wrong; I love this job, but, like all things, it gets boring."
"What about me? Do I get to go up there?"
"All in good time, Kyle. Right now you need to go over there."
Kyle looked at where the stranger was pointing. It was a large white building, completely covered in thick mist. Kyle felt somewhat uneasy, but one glance at the stranger's smiling face and the feeling vanished into thin air.
"That's where you need to go, Kyle. Trust me, it's not as scary as it looks."
"A-Alright."
"My name's Eli, by the way. Nice to meet you."
"N-Nice to meet you too..."
"Well, I have other people to talk to now. See you later!"
Kyle waved Eli goodbye, who became a tiny dot in the distance in a fraction of a second. Kyle was astounded at the old man's incredible speed, but he soon found the reason for it. As he turned around to face the large building, Kyle noticed that it was very far away; it would take him at least a day to reach it. However, when he actually took one step toward it, he was instantly transported to it. He smiled to himself, having figured out the old man's secret. He tried to read the sign on the building, but he couldn't focus on it. When he tried, everything appeared to shake, and his eyes began tearing up in pain.
"Don't try to read that, son. You're gonna hurt your head."
"Yeah, I noticed..."
"What're you doing here?"
"I met this man – Eli – and he told me to come here."
"Did he also tell you what 'here' is?"
"N-No..."
"God damn you Eli... Always leaving me with these newbies..."
"Long story short, this is where you get assigned someone you're supposed to look after."
"...What?"
"Angel duty. Guardian angel, to be specific. It's reserved for the kindest people who come here, but, if you ask me, it's not as glamorous as most people seem to believe. You get to watch some guy or girl as they go about their day and prevent them from having any accidents."
"That's it?"
"You'll see when you get down there... Now get in line. We don't have all day."
At first, Kyle thought his acquaintance was just exaggerating, but one look at the line, and his thoughts crumbled. The line seemed to go on forever as it twisted and turned all over the place: the walls, ceiling, and some people were hovering in mid-air as they waited their turn.
"Um... How long does this part usually last?"
"This is the quickest part. It should only take about a day or so. The actual job lasts a few decades."
"Awesome."
"Is there any way to know who I'm going to get before I actually get them?"
"Whoever needs you the most. It could be your brother, your mother, or a complete stranger. There's no way to know for certain."
"Kenny..."
As Kyle's new acquaintance left, Kyle became overwhelmed with sadness. He realized that he wouldn't be able to be with Kenny for a very long time; maybe forever. What if Kyle, as a guardian angel, couldn't be with the rest of the people in heaven? What if Kenny didn't make it to heaven in the first place? It hadn't even occurred to him that Kenny wasn't with him until now. He tried desperately to figure out why that was, but he couldn't. Every time he felt that he was getting close to the answer, it slipped away from him. After a while, he just gave up and glanced over the shoulder of the man in front of him, to see how long it would take. The line didn't seem to have moved an inch, in spite of the fact that Kyle had arrived several hours ago.
"This is going to take forever..."
