She couldn't help but feel a little, well, used.
The opaque gem turned to her after everyone else had gone away, talking about how she didn't mean it, she didn't mean for it to get this out of hand but she needed someone -
It felt like she was Pearl's last resort.
It used to be different, Amethyst used to be her sole confidant, and they stuck by each other. They were so close back then, too close. Too close without meaning anything.
Maybe that's why she kept coming back - coming back to help her heal. She was the one to pick up the pieces, everytime, up until Rose chose Greg.
A part of her hated that she fell back into it so easily, but she was so faultingly in love with her she doesn't think she could stop it.
They were getting better, gradually. The constant bickering between the two had subsided, but Amethyst still felt like there was much to be done. Especially since Pearl's most recent stunt, the one that drug her into this sea of hard to swallow thoughts.
The one that made her feel like some throwaway recourse, only convenient when needed.
"Ame?" she hated how her heart swelled with the nickname.
"Hmm?"
"Do you...would you like the tea bag?"
It didn't feel like Pearl's voice.
She held it up, a look so hesitant and fragile that Amethyst felt scared to even make eye contact.
"Yeah," she mumbled, "I'll take it, P."
She gulped it down, the uneasiness in the air suffocating her, until she couldn't take it.
"Do you, uh, need to talk or somethin'? 'Cuz I mean, I'm here."
"Amethyst, I've...treated you badly."
"Whaddya mean? I thought this whole issue was about Garnet?" if she played dumb she couldn't confront it she couldn't she couldn't -
Pearl sighed, giving a low, hollow chuckle, "This whole thing has made me realize how selfish I can be. Taking something as precious as fusion from Garnet, and now leaching from you."
"P, I understand why - you need someone right now." You just settle for me.
She sat on the couch, eyes boring a hole into the mug, and took a deep breath.
"I don't want you to feel...convenient."
"P, It's fine I -"
"It isn't."
This was really happening.
"I...I can see it in your demeanor. It didn't used to be like this, Amethyst."
"Fine! You know what? I do feel like shit because of this! You just settle for me because Garnet isn't here!" Or Rose.
"I don't want you to think I just...settle for you! Amethyst, I...really do care for you, I'm just horribly bad at expressing it."
Amethyst wanted to brush off Pearl's words, chock it up to be one of Pearl's comfort sentences, the ones that used to make Ame shut up.
But the absolute sincerity behind her eyes and words made her feel it in the core of her gem, a light flush coloring her cheeks.
"Please, just hug me again."
The purple gem shot up and wrapped her arms around the taller, squeezing as tightly as she could, and felt tears prick behind her eyes as she felt Pearl's wrap around her just as tightly.
"I've missed you." She heard Pearl whisper, "I missed you so much."
Although they were both far from perfect, she thinks they could both help each other achieve some semblance of it.
Together.
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(writing tumblr: galaxxywrites)
