I'm using a list of '100 Ways to Say I Love You' as prompts. If anyone wants to use the list or read what may be coming up, I'll put the list in my bio on my profile. Just a warning, they will all be from different fandoms!

84. "The key is under the mat"

Comfort in the Panic

It's been an exhausting few days and my eyes almost droop shut as Xander is driving us home from the hospital. Sean and Vivian have decided that it is easier for them to stay in a hotel room so Xander pulled some strings and got them set up for the week in Road's End. They've been so helpful these past couple of days but thankfully Sean realised that I couldn't possibly entertain two guests as well as worry about Mom and keep the shop open.

I didn't choose to come home but Mom told me she's had enough of seeing me cramped in the chair next to her bed and insisted I go home. Now, there was a great idea.

The drive back to Dolls and More is short. As I bid goodbye to Sean and Vivian from the front seat, Xander gets out of the car to walk me to my door.

"You okay?" he ducks his head slightly to look into my eyes.

"Just swell. I'm going to go and change into my Spidey suit and then go save the world!"

"…and now the real answer?"

"No, I'm exhausted and I don't know what to do with myself and I ju-just…" I turn away so that he can't see the tears that slowly fill my eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. It'll be alright," Xander murmurs as he pulls me into his arms, strokes my hair and rocks me back and forth. "Tell you what, I'll drop your grandparents off to the hotel, grab some clothes and come straight back, how's that?"

"No, it's fine. I'll be fine." I swipe under my eyes to get rid of the tears and busy myself pretending to find my house keys even though I know exactly where they are.

"Caymen, I'm not taking no for an answer. I'll be back in twenty, tops, okay?"

I smile slightly as he gives me his real smile. "Okay. I'm gonna lock the door behind me but the key is under the mat."

He kisses my forehead before jogging back to the idling car and hopping inside where Vivian has reseated herself in the front passenger seat. I unlock the door and he waits until I'm inside before pulling away.

Flicking the lights, I see the doll shop exactly how I left it: lonely and with the laptop still on the counter. When Mom was well enough again, we discussed the fate of the shop and we both decided it was time to go online and so with all the photos I took on Xander's camera, I've been compiling a new website that is going far better than the one before. Mom's looking forward to us having it up and running because she knows it'll take a weight off of my shoulders and probably a weight off hers too. But the website can wait for now as I seriously need to have a shower after spending at least 24 hours at the hospital. I'd been home a few times but only quickly to grab a new set of clothes, not wanting to leave Mom for more than an hour at a time, worried I might miss something crucial.

I make my way upstairs towards the apartment but not before leaving a post-it note on the counter to tell Xander what was happening and to head upstairs after me. I hopped in the shower straight away, dying to get my hair washed finally. There's only so many days that dry shampoo will be effective before I look like a big greasy mess. It feels so good to be finally able to wash myself fully clean instead of just freshening up in the hospital toilets using the toiletries that Xander had bought me from the travel packs given out in the hotel. I couldn't have been more grateful, I mean, having a boyfriend in the hospitality business clearly has its perks, but there's nothing better than being able to wash with my own toiletries again. Getting out of the shower, I put on my pyjamas (an old baseball tee and some flannel bottoms I stole from Skye) and wandered out into the lounge as I towel-dry my hair.

"Hey, sunshine." And I'm ashamed to say I actually screamed at this. I knew Xander was coming back but I'd lost track of how long I'd been in the shower. Judging by Xander's appearance, I was guessing it had been a while as he was now wearing the pyjama bottoms I'd seen on him from the night Skye and I TPed his house.

"Sorry! I thought you'd heard me call when I came in!"

"I hadn't. Hey though," I laughed whilst leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.

"How you feeling now? Any better?" he smiled softly at me and my heart started to race at the sight of it.

"Lots, especially after a real shower. I'm still really worried though Xander, wh-hat i-f-f something goes wrong?" My voice was breaking, my eyes were filling with tears. I could tell and so could he, which made this conversation ten times worse. I hated being vulnerable. In front of Mom, it wasn't so bad but in front of anyone else? Awful. Nevertheless, his arms wrapped around me despite it being the second time in the past hour that I had broken down over Mom's situation.

"Come on," he murmured as he grabbed my hand and led me down the hall to my room.

He flipped back the covers and toed off his shoes before sitting down and pulling me to him. Xander took the towel from my hands and began rubbing the water out of my hair. I felt him shift slightly and then heard the towel drop to the floor as he picked up my hair brush and gently ran it through my hair getting the tangles out of it. Next thing I knew, he had my hairdryer in his hands and was drying my hair properly for me. When it was fully dry, he turned the hairdryer off and the silence was so deafening, I almost wanted him to turn it back on again just so that I wouldn't have to listen to my own thoughts.

With warm hair from the hairdryer and that post-shower clean feeling, I felt my eyes slip shut as he pulled me back against his chest fully. Xander was resting his back against the headboard of my bed and the thought that this was the first time I had had a boy in my bed did flash through my head but I was too exhausted to be able to get excited about it so I let myself settle against him where I drifted off for hopefully the best sleep since Mom went into hospital.

Things weren't perfect. Far from it, really. But in that moment, in the silence of an empty apartment, things felt like they might just turn out okay.