K is for Kittens

"Oh, man, I can't believe it!" Chet exclaimed as the engine crew staggered into the kitchen. "We've been out all day, and you two are sitting here drinking coffee?"

Roy and Johnny looked at each other, looked back at Chet, nodded concurrently and lifted their full coffee mugs in mock salute. "Kinda," Johnny said.

"Boring day," Roy added.

"Go figure," Chet grumbled, "Did you at least make lunch?"

Roy waved toward the counter. "Sandwiches."

"Ketchup?" Captain Stanley asked as he prepared to take his sandwich to his office.

"Fridge, second shelf."

Lunch was actually proceeding abnormally quietly, until the Captain stormed back in, waving a sheaf of papers.

"GAGE! DESOTO! Which one of you two twits wrote this report?"

Roy and Johnny looked at each other, then looked at Captain Stanley, and asked seriously, "What report, Cap?"

"What report? WHAT REPORT? Don't con me, boys. Let me refresh your memory. I quote:

"0700 hours. The klaxon klanged 4-2-2, calling KMG's kindred kind to the copper-colored Kepler cabin, constructed at 62 Kingston Cove, cul-de-sac Kismet, close to K-Mart.

"Upon arrival, Rescue 51 was greeted by a cluster of kids, coherently communicating their identities as Kelly, Kim, Kris, and Kevin Kepler. The parents, Kora and Keith Kepler, were not at home.

"When questioned, the kids conveyed their conundrum.

"Kelly's kitten, Kite, a committed kleptomaniac, had been pursued by Kim's klutzy kitten, Kip, after Kite klepto'd Kip's kibble.

"During the kerfuffle, Kibbleless Kip klutzily careened Kris's kamikaze kitten, Kap, onto a chair, confusing Kevin's cunning, catnapping kitten Koka, who consequently kaput'd the kitchen's kerosene lamp over the lingering kibble crumbs, which commensurately combusted.

"Kelly, Kim, and Kris corralled kinetic kittens kelpto Kite, klutzy Kip, clever Kap, and confused Koka, while Kevin committed a KCl extinguisher to combat the combusting kibble, clearly containing the kitchen conflagration.

"After confirming containment, Kelly, Kim, Kris, and Kevin Kepler and the caboodle of careening kittens were committed to close kin Karen & Kelso Korn, until Kora or Keith Kepler could complete the commute to the cabin.

"Returned to service at 0745."

Cap looked up at his paramedics. "Well? Who wrote this?"

Kelley couldn't help but glance at the two paramedics, who amazingly had maintained innocent poker faces. "Uh, Cap, maybe….kooks?"