Hey, everyone! So the inspiration for this one came to me in two parts. The first was the idea of Tails having to grow up in a sudden and unexpected manner. The second part was reading through the Kübler-Ross model and deciding to apply that to one of my favorite characters in the STH fandom. Tails has always been very important to me, as I feel like he has a lot of untapped potential. Often, he simply falls into the simple role of "Sonic's sidekick", when he's really so much more.
I know he's sweet and innocent in the media, but I have this sick pleasure of writing him a little more cynical. (Veteran readers will know this already.) He's still kind and adorable, but sometimes the babbling of his surroundings get to him.
On a final note, dear readers of Advents in Serendipity, I'm not abandoning the story, I just need to get this one out of my head.
Please enjoy and have a wonderful day! Thank you for taking time to read!
Stage One: Denial
Miles "Tails" Prower, age eighteen. A goldenrod-colored fox—a kitsune, to be precise. His double-tails the source of his nickname. Over the years, friends and acquaintances alike had asked where he'd gotten the name and he'd scratched his scruffy hair, blue eyes pondering. He didn't know; it's just the way things were. The name was as natural to him as his red sneakers and his folded gloves, his twin tails and his love of all things engineering.
Natural: adjective. Of or in agreement with the character or makeup of.
Natural... how things were supposed to be. Things were not supposed to be... like... this.
Tails stared down at the muddy pit, regarding its geometric pattern with hatred. That early autumn morning, shovels had cut their way into the grass, sinking past moist soil, smoothed pebbles and slithering insects. Those shovels had repeated the motion again and again, battling against mother earth in order to create this hated shape. A hole. Six feet deep, four feet long, two feet wide. There had always been graves in the world, that same size and shape. Tails had seen many of them in countless cemeteries across time and space, dimensions and planets. He never paid them much mind. The headstones were lovely, with their intricate carvings and the moss that formed over them over time. The fox had never really thought about what lay below them. Never could he have imagined that the truth would be so close to home.
Tails blinked back tears, focusing his gaze on the quivering grass blades that clung to his shiny red shoes, still wet with morning dew. The day was not rainy. There was a thin mask of gray clouds over the sky, but the sun shined behind it and the temperature was pleasant. Weren't times like this supposed to be flooded with precipitation, angry zephyrs and murky lighting? Why did everything seem so normal?
So normal... as they lowered the shiny, mahogany casket into the ground.
The respectful silence was shattered by Amy Rose's piercing wail. Her tears had long-since run dry and all that was left was a sandpaper howl as dry as summer grass. Tails frowned and glared sidelong at the pink hedgehog in her long black dress. At twenty-two, she was still wildly immature in Tails' opinion. She blew her nose raucously and Knuckles gave her shoulder a gentle pat. Tails raised a hand to rub his forehead, soothing the creases between his eyes. He looked around at the crowd that had formed with a stormy expression, daring any of them to be as obnoxious as Amy.
Cream the Rabbit, with her kind mother Vanilla and somber chao, stood in a trio of sobriety, Cream only allowing herself a quiet sniff over five-minute intervals. Vanilla rooted in her purse for tissues to hand out in case anyone had forgotten to bring their own. Ever the mother.
There were other familiar faces... Rouge the Bat, for once her lips not glossed and her figure not accented by a bodysuit but instead an austere black dress, folded her hands in front of her, staring at her shoes. Omega had painted himself black for the occasion, somehow understanding what a funeral was through his robot thoughts. Or maybe Rouge had suggested it. Princess Blaze and Silver the Hedgehog were there as well, each dressed appropriately. Blaze's face twitched occasionally, her normally steely expression nearly crumbling with grief. Silver wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders and at last she turned her head against him to cry in silence.
So many people had arrived to pay their respects to Sonic the Hedgehog.
Tails wasn't sure whether he was grateful or not. Some selfish part of him wanted to have the day to himself. He wasn't sure why... maybe the fact that so many people were grieving in front of him cemented the fact that his best friend—his big brother—was dead. Tails bit his lip. The gravediggers began the long journey of filling in the hole. Every shovel-full of dirt hit the casket with a thunderous crash. Amy's wailing grew louder and finally Knuckles was forced to cram her face into his chest in an attempt to silence her. Tails' hands trembled slightly.
"I'll begin by speaking a few words," a portly mole wearing a pastoral robe stepped to the head of the grave and pulled out his notes. "Sonic the Hedgehog, Hero of Mobius. I never new him personally, but his reputation preceded him. Not an easy task for anything, with his speed..." There were some rasping chuckles in the crowd. Tails rolled his eyes. The mole continued, "He was a good lad. A bit of a heartbreaker, I hear, but honorable in morals and just in might. He never used his gifts of strength and speed to harm an innocent creature, but instead rose above the common man to fight against evil at a tender age. Many of us could learn from such example... I think many of us did. Yes, the Blue Blur... He was a inspiration to everyone he met, always approaching new relationships with an open mind and an open heart. He wanted to see the good in everyone, even when no one else could. Truly, such a soul was taken from us too soon. Sonic the Hedgehog, Hero of Mobius, may he rest in peace."
Dirt fell on dirt. The mahogany had vanished. The mole gestured towards the crowd.
"I'd invite anyone with a few kind words to come forward now, if you will." The crowd shifted awkwardly. Tails frowned. Finally, Rouge stepped forward with a white rose. After a deep inhaled, she looked around sadly.
"I've known Sonic for ten years. Oh, back then that boy had such a cocky mouth on him... He was a great guy to muck about with. We always used to tease our friends. We could shoot one-liners back and forth like ping-pong," the white bat's pleasant chuckle turned to a stifled sob as tears filled her eyes, "I can't believe he's gone... He was only twenty-five and when most people are just getting off their feet into adulthood, he just... disappeared from our lives. Sonic the Hedgehog..." she dropped the rose into the pit, "wherever you go, give 'em hell." She stepped away, fading into the audience of black-clad friends. Tails balled his hands into fists, trying to keep himself from crying. Blaze—with Silver right behind her—was next. The Sol Princess dabbed her eyes with a sky blue handkerchief before clearing her throat and standing tall.
"Sonic the Hedgehog was a marvelous spirit," her regal voice was firm, "we met so long ago, it feels as though he was always a part of my life. Few people, in any dimension, could so easily accept someone with my abilities... Sonic was one of them. He treated everyone with a level of respect and honesty that is not easily matched. He will be sorely missed in the Sol Dimension." She almost visually shrank as tears choked her off. Silver nodded and stepped forward, letting a pair of Amazon lilies fall into the grave.
"Though we battled when we first met," he said calmly, "Sonic and I grew to be very close friends and allies. We worked well together and had an understanding as far as heroic responsibility. No matter what, we always helped each other out when all else seemed to fall apart. Rest in peace, Sonic." The hedgehog and cat walked away, disappearing like Rouge had. Tails sucked in a breath of air, trying to still his shivering stomach. Amy disentangled herself from Knuckles' grasp and stalked forward, head held high. She flung a bouquet of pink carnations onto the growing pile of dirt before flipping her hair over her shoulder.
"I loved Sonic the Hedgehog!" Her voice shook and she lowered her volume, "He was... so good to everyone. Brave and honest... I'd never met anyone like him when I first saw him. Confidence flowed out of him, but not at the price of kindness. Over the years, I'm sure I drove him to the brink of insanity what with my antics... saying we were destined for each other. Only recently, he actually started feeling... the same way and.. I-I just never thought he'd die before... before we..." She broke into tears, falling to her knees and bawling like a child. Tails grimaced uncomfortably. He stepped forward and rested a hand on her shoulder before looking out at the crowd, peering into each individual's eyes.
"Sonic the Hedgehog was my brother," the fox began evenly, "he found me when I was a lost orphan and raised me, despite being young himself. Everywhere he went, he let me go. He never excluded me, even when a situation was dangerous. Some of you may think that was irresponsible, but I see it as unadulterated friendship. I always felt we were equals, even though he accomplished so much more than me... Over time, I guess I began to believe that nothing could really tear us apart." His blue eyes fell on the pile of dirt, at last full to the brim once more. "How wrong we can be. I know now I could never fill his shoes... and I don't want to."
The last shovel of dirt echoed.
Tails jumped at the hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see Shadow the Hedgehog, not looking a day older than when they'd first met. The coal-black hedgehog gave Tails an even stare, his stony red eyes boring into the fox. At last, Tails sighed and let his head fall back to staring at the final resting place of Sonic.
"Are you all right?" Shadow murmured, removing his hand to stand with arms crossed. Tails exhaled wetly and nodded.
"I'm... fine."
"Are you positive? You seemed a little antsy during the..."
"I said I'm fine!" Tails snapped, glancing sidelong at his company. Shadow did not grace many with his presence, reserving his concern only for those who irritated him the least. While he considered Sonic a rival of sorts—while he was alive—Shadow did not mind Tails and had actually enjoyed a quiet friendship with the kitsune over the years. When Shadow had heard of Sonic's death, he recalled his own feelings about Maria and immediately knew Tails would have been distraught. He Chaos Controlled to the little house immediately, forcing Tails to ingest copious amounts of whiskey until the teen had fainted. It was an effective pain-killer, at least until the following morning.
During the funeral preparations, the GUN agent had acted as a brotherly stand-in, helping Tails make the more inane decisions and keeping him from falling into a self-destructive spiral. Eventually, Tails had arrived to a mental state which was relatively stable and Shadow had shown himself out. Still... he checked in on the fox every couple of days until the funeral took place. Now, he made a mental note to have the others keep tabs on Tails just in case some latent form of grief overtook him and made him act dangerously.
"You're actually taking this surprisingly well, in my opinion," Shadow mused. The pair stood in silence as the sun broke past the clouds and began to set over the ocean that stretched out to the horizon. The water became liquid fire and the sound of nocturnal creatures chirped from the surrounding forest. Shadow began to nod off while standing when Tails finally spoke.
"There's... nothing I can do about it... Why should I waste tears on that?"
Shadow opened one eye, "Well... I assumed it was simply natural."
"But nothing about this is natural!" Tails hissed through clenched teeth, "nothing will make this seem any more okay... and sobbing like a friggin' kid isn't going to make me feel better. I'd be better off pretending nothing has happened at all..." Shadow pondered the boy's statement, looking back to his own situation and the loss of the girl he had been created to save. Sixty years after the incident he had finally managed to stop feeling guilty and wanting revenge... but somehow he didn't feel Tails had that much time. After all, he was newly an adult and should live life to the fullest in his free youth. Shadow pulled his lips into a sneer. God, Faker... worst timing ever.
The moon was rising when Shadow finally felt himself grow too sleepy to keep hanging around. He cuffed his younger friend on the back, nodding goodbye.
"Get home safe, kid."
"Yeah," Tails said vacantly, "will do." There was a green flash of light and Tails knew he was alone. Staring up at the moon between silvery clouds, he counted to ten before trudging home. The door flew open with a kick and he leaned against it, shutting out the world... and possibly reality.
"I'm home," he said to the empty house, not sure what he was expecting. He pulled off his shoes and wandered into the kitchen, gazing around the room as if it was a foreign planet. After a few minutes, he pulled out a pair of mugs and began to prepare hot chocolate. The swirling brown liquid reflected his grim expression. He set his palms against the counter and sagged between his shoulders, closing tired eyes and swallowing hard.
"Do you want marshmallows in yours, Sonic?"
