New Beginning-Love and Learning to Let Go

by JennTH

The children of Ashley, Ben, Ellen, and Michael are all grown up now. They are now making their way through Hogwarts. The adults watch as their children grow up and learn from their own mistakes. Sometimes it isn't easy being a parent. All OCs, so you likely won't like.

1. Chapter 1

I was informed yesterday by uploading a lot of chapters, people got spammed. I'm sorry about that and I am almost done with these stories. Afterward, I am going back to my more popular stories.

A/N: Michelle is Ellen's daughter from New Beginning. So far it's Michelle, Alyssa, Hayden and Ashley but will be changing of point of views to others. All OCs from my first story, New Beginning. You likely won't like.

I wrote New Beginning years ago, but then I moved it to a blog. I started this story just for fun while I worked on better projects. However, as much as it was just for fun, I grew to enjoy writing about these characters. So whenever I have writers block on my real stories, or even when I am feeling stressed, I write about these characters lives. Many people might not enjoy this since it's OC and all but this story as bad as it might be actually got me through stressful times. Whenever I was feeling upset, I would think about some happy things happening to them or even bad things. I would sit down, and write about them. I logged back onto this site recently and saw some recent requests for this story. So I've decided to resurrect it here since some people don't want to read it on my blog.

Michelle

"Guess what I heard Michelle?" My best friend Catalina said as she skipped over to the pool.

It was the summer after third year, and I was resting on an inflatable float. I was kind of watching the younger kids, but I was daydreaming at the same time. Alyssa and Clarissa were watching the younger kids anyway. They seemed more than happy to take over the baby-sitting even though I was actually in charge when mum wasn't home.

I wasn't surprised to see Catalina, or usually any of my friends. They knew they were allowed to come and go whenever they wanted. Usually one of my friends or one of the other kids friends showed up during the day. The adults were no longer strict about our friends being over. They used to be when we were younger, but it seemed after I turned thirteen, they were sure that we'd all be okay with looking out for each other. Sometimes Hayden was there, but a lot of the time he worked at his summer job.

I didn't answer Catalina, I just watched as she pulled off her yellow summer dress to reveal a red bikini. She jumped into the pool and swam over to me. The other kids weren't really paying attention to her, but I think whatever she wanted to tell me was private.

"What did you hear?" I asked as she reached my inflatable float.

Usually she was full of gossip about someone in our class, or even in the younger years. Alyssa and Clarissa were about to start their second year, and I didn't know anything about what went on with them. I quite frankly just didn't care. However, Catalina knew who was dating who in their year. Not that it mattered when you were eleven or twelve anyway. It was mostly just hand holding, or if they were more daring they did kiss, but it never lasted.

"You might have heard by now, but Hayden and Cynthia broke up," Catalina told me.

I stared at her with shock. While Hayden didn't ignore me anymore as he used to when we were younger, I still didn't know much about his personal life. We hung out sometimes, but we did have a bit of an age difference. I'd been in love with him for as long as I could remember, but he never gave me the time of day. At the end of his third year, he started to date a girl in his year named Cynthia. I'd hoped at the time that it wouldn't last long but they seemed to go strong, and many people called them the class couple in his year. I'd given up on anything happening with him because I thought he'd be like Hayden's godparents.

"I haven't seen much of Hayden lately," I said. "He's either with his friends or he is working. He's going to be seventeen in September. I know Ashley and Ben let him go out as much as he wants. He doesn't really baby-sit the kids anymore, they're usually over here," and I nodded at all the kids in the pool as if to make a point.

The pool was full of what I considered an extended family because I'd known them all most of their lives. My sister was there with Alyssa who was my mother's goddaughter, and she lived next door. Her cousin Mackenzie was there as well. Alyssa's twin brothers, William and Cameron who were ten were there with a couple of their friends and their cousin Trevor. My younger brother Elliot and his friends Hailey (Alyssa's youngest sister) and Elaina who are all seven and my youngest brother Micky, who had just turned four.

The thing was, usually a lot more kids came over and they were all related to Alyssa. The Hoofers were a big and close family. They all had pools, but a lot of the time they liked to spend the day at either my place or my godmother's place Ashley. We all shared the pools as if they were our own. Usually it was more convenient to be at Ashley's because their place was bigger, but mum had wanted us to stay home that day. So we were swimming in my pool.

"Well it only just happened yesterday," Catalina told me.

"Who broke up with who?" I asked hoping it was Hayden who had dumped Cynthia.

It wasn't that I dislike the girl. She was actually really nice, and she'd always been decent to me. I'd known her for years. She'd been a friend of Hayden's since he was in primary school, and she was usually a guest at his party back then. I had just never been fond of her being his girlfriend for obvious reasons. I'd always been nice to her regardless, but secretly I wished that they would break up.

"Hayden broke up with her," Catalina answered. "I guess her jealousy of Minnie was getting worse."

"But Minnie has been with Craig for two years, and they seem really happy together," I answered.

"Yes, but you know everyone thinks that they're going to end up together eventually," Catalina told me in an obvious tone.

"Don't I know it," I muttered.

Minnie and Hayden were life-long friends. They'd known each other since they were babies. Hayden is my godmother's other godchild. She had adopted him when he was eight-years-old because his mother had abandoned him. Minnie is Ben's niece and Ashley knew they'd be in the same year as each other, so she'd introduced them when they were babies. They'd maintained their friendship all these years, and most people did expect they'd end up together even if the two of them had never shown interest in each other. Even my own mother expected it to happen, and I hated hearing her talk about it.

Hayden always insisted that Minnie was just his sister, and that he couldn't imagine ever dating her. Last summer, when Hayden and me were swimming in the pool together, he'd actually vented to me about it. He'd told me how tired he was that everyone, including his own godparents wanted him with her when he didn't see her that way at all. Secretly, I'd been happy to hear him tell me that and I hoped it would stay that way. I knew feelings could change though. Everyone had known that my godparents would end up together. They hadn't realized it until their fifth year. Hayden was just about to start his sixth year. There was still a chance that his or Minnie's feelings could change.

"For the record, I don't think they'll ever see each other as more than brother and sister," Catalina told me. "Besides, it's as you said, Minnie really does love Craig."

"Hayden thought he loved Cynthia, and he even had a crush on her for years before they got together," I reminded her.

Catalina shrugged. "Hayden talks to you more than he used to. You're so beautiful too. When he wants to date again, he'd be a fool to turn you down."

"But I'm also only fourteen and I'm starting the fourth year," I reminded her. "Hayden is going to be seventeen. What seventeen-year-old wants some fourteen-year-old? He's always just seen me as a kid."

"Hayden is the only boy I've ever seen you have doubts about," Catalina said. "Normally you just go for it when you want someone."

"Because most boys do like me," I answered.

It might have sounded arrogant to say that, but it was the truth. I knew I was beautiful even though I didn't like to flaunt my beauty like some people I knew. Some girls I knew who were very pretty used their looks for their benefit. I didn't like to do that. I wanted people to like me for me and I didn't want to seem like a bitchy girl just because of my looks either. I thought it was okay to know you were pretty, but not be mean about it. I believed in modesty. However, I could admit that I knew a lot of the boys liked me, so if there was someone I was interested in, I went for it. Hayden was a different story. He probably just saw me as a little sister or cousin or something. He saw most of the Hoofer's and their friends kids as his relatives.

"I think you should do something about it," Catalina said. "You've crushed on him for years now."

"Well I am not going to do it the day after a break up. He was with Cynthia for a long time," I said.

"I'm not saying you should. You don't want to be the rebound, but I think once he's been single long enough that you should. It's as you always say, the worst he'll do is say no," Catalina told me.

I knew she spoke the truth. She was a smart girl and I never understood why she was Hufflepuff instead of Ravenclaw. She was one of the top in our year. I figured I'd use that summer when I could to really get to know Hayden better. He did talk to me more often. It seemed after my first year he started to take me more seriously. He started to talk to me more and more, and lately he would come over to talk to me on his own. He'd never done that before. Even though I was younger, sometimes he'd ask me advice about Cynthia when he couldn't ask Minnie.

"You're right," I said and I told her what I planned to do that summer. "That is if I see him. It's been two weeks, and he lives next door but I never see him. He might try to work harder now that he has to get over her. Hayden always works harder at school or whatever else when he wants to distract himself."

I felt some confidence but I still worried that he'd just still see me as a little girl. It was hard for me not to see Clarissa as a little girl even though she wasn't anymore. She was slowly turning from an annoying sister to someone I could actually talk to as someone close to my age. She was starting to get into boys now.

I sometimes worried about both her and Alyssa. While I tried to remain modest, the two of them knew they were very pretty and they weren't so modest. Alyssa was already so boy crazy and she'd just turned twelve. She was prettier than I was at twelve. She looked like she could pull off being fourteen or fifteen because she was tall too. My sister was a pretty girl, but Alyssa was more pretty. Sometimes the two of them competed. If they were like that at twelve, what would they be like when they were my age or Hayden's age? Some girls in my year talked about having sex, and I knew my own mother had it at fourteen. Would they be the same way? I didn't want to have sex while I was still in school. My mum had been a teenage mother and I didn't want that for myself.

That was another thing I worried about with Hayden. If he ever did want to be with me, what if he wanted sex? I knew that he and Cynthia had it. After being in a physical relationship, he wasn't going to want to be with a girl who wanted to remain a virgin. I felt it was almost hopeless for us to ever be together.

I didn't have to wait long to talk to Hayden. Later that night, I went over to Ashley's to find that he was swimming laps in their pool. Usually I liked to visit with my godmother, and that had been my original plan but once I caught sight of Hayden, my plans changed. I was still wearing my bathing suit from earlier. I just had it on under a wrap-a-round dress.

In the summer I practically lived in it, as did my siblings and my god-siblings. In fact, most of the kids in my neighbourhood did. At one point it had just been my parents, my godparents and a friend of my parents Michael and his wife Shelly but over the last five year our neighbourhood had expanded. More people who were friends of my parents were moving their and building their houses there. It was a magical neighbourhood full of old school friends.

"I don't want to talk Alyssa," Hayden instantly said as I swam over to him. He wasn't looking at me.

"I didn't know we had that much of a resemblance," I told him.

"Oh," Hayden said when he saw that it was me. "Sorry, Alyssa has been badgering me since I got home from work. I broke up with Cynthia and she won't stop asking me about it. I came out here to have some time alone, but you know the kids. They don't respect that at times. I miss the days sometimes when she was a little girl. It was so much easier back then."

"I honestly find it easier now," I said. "They're easier to relate to now."

"For the most part it's easier, but when Alyssa was under the age of ten, all I had to do was snap my fingers basically and she did what I said. Don't get me wrong, I love her, but she doesn't always respect boundaries," Hayden said. "She's allowed to stay up late now, and she's allowed to swim when she wants now so it won't be long before she comes out here to pester me about Cynthia. Sometimes it's hard not to see her as a little girl anymore to be honest. It's hard to believe she's going to be a teenager next year. It was hard last year when she started Hogwarts."

"It's probably the same with me too," I said trying to make a joke but to also see how he saw me. Did he see me the same as he saw Alyssa? Was I just an annoying little girl who shouldn't be grown up yet? "But we all do grow up Hayden."

"Not really," Hayden said with a shrug seemingly ignoring the last part. "At least not anymore. I did at one point, but after your first-year you were normal," and then as if he worried that he insulted me he smiled at me. "Well not normal, you were always normal but I just stopped seeing you as a kid. It was easier to talk to you."

"I know what you meant," I said as I thought about my own sister and Alyssa.

I couldn't help but wonder if there was some hidden meaning to that. He did seem worried that he had offended me.

"So what are you up to? It's Friday night; why are you here. I'm surprised you're not out with your gang of friends," Hayden said to me and I wondered if I was bothering him but he was too nice to tell me to go away. He wasn't that way with Alyssa because she was basically his sister. I wasn't.

"I thought I'd have a girls night with Ashley," I told him. "I will in a bit, but I saw you in the pool, so I thought I'd visit with you first. That is if you want to. If you want to be alone, I can go in now," I added quickly. "We haven't seen each other since school, and we hung out sometimes. I feel like we're friends now."

I felt nervous as I said the last bit. Maybe he didn't see me as a friend, and he'd only hung out with me to be nice. He was very polite after all, and he didn't like to hurt peoples feelings if he could help it. I thought that came from his mothers abandonment. I knew he still hurt from that, even though they sometimes wrote to each other.

"No, it's okay," Hayden said. "I didn't mean it like that. I just know you usually go out on Friday's with Catalina and the others. You're more than welcome to swim for a bit. It's just Alyssa and the twins I don't want to see right now. Besides, we are friends."

I wasn't sure if I should press my luck or not. Hayden didn't mind hanging out with me, but would he mind if I brought up his break up? I'd been through my own break ups. Most of my relationships had been short lived, and I'd been bad tempered afterwards. I hated when my friends or family wouldn't give me my space. Hayden and Cynthia had been together for a little over two years.

"What happened anyway if you don't mind me asking," I continued. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but I'm just surprised. You two seemed so happy together."

Hayden had just taken his OWLs the year before. Sometimes when we hung out, he'd get me to study with them so that I'd be prepared for my fifth year. He and his friends also hadn't minded helping my friends and me with our school work as well. Cynthia and Hayden always seemed so inseparable during these study sessions. At times when I wanted just one on one time with Hayden, it seemed impossible with her around as well. They just couldn't seem to do anything without being around each other. They were in separate houses as well, so they'd use any opportunity they could to hang out. In fact, Cynthia and I were both Hufflepuff's, and at times she'd come sit with my friends and me if she wasn't with her friends.

"It's been going downhill for a while," Hayden answered. "It was great at first, but it was her jealousy and her clinginess. I couldn't do anything without her wanting to be there. You know, at first when we got together she gave me space to hang out with my friends, especially any female friends. By the end of last year, I couldn't. I mean, Minnie is one of the smartest in my year, and she did everything she could to help me with certain classes, such as Arithmancy. Cynthia couldn't stand it. Even when you came over to try and study with me, she'd get jealous about it."

I hated when he said: 'even when you' as if it were impossible for someone like him to like a girl like me. I was sure he didn't mean it the way I was interpreting it, and I was likely overthinking things, but I still felt a bit stung. I didn't let it show however.

"Did you try talking to her about it?" I asked instead.

"I've been talking to her about it since Easter break," Hayden answered. "Yesterday was the final straw. With Minnie dating Craig and all, we just haven't had the chance to talk as often. If we did, it was just about school work. We haven't been able to just hang out. Craig has no jealousy when it comes to Minnie, so he didn't care when we started to make plans. Cynthia flipped out though. She didn't want the two of us just to hang out one on one, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I told her it was over. I'm just so damn tired of everyone thinking that something is going to happen between Minnie and me. It isn't. They all think we're going to be the next Victoire and Teddy. Some people compare my life to Teddy's because it's almost similar. They compare the Hoofer's to the Weasley's since our families are the two biggest at Hogwarts right now. I'm just glad we're not famous. My relationship issues would be all over the Daily Prophet right now."

What Hayden said was true. The Weasley's were a big family, but they were also famous, so almost everything that they did ended up in the gossip sections of newspapers and magazines. The Hoofer's while well known weren't famous, but people at Hogwarts did compare them to the Weasley's. I knew Hayden was compared to Teddy a lot. Teddy had been orphaned by the war, and he was taken in by his Godfather and he ended up with a big extended family. Hayden was the same way. They both grew up with a female life-long friend. Teddy and Victoire used to be off and on again, and their relationship status would be in the papers. They were now engaged.

"I'm sure everyone will know soon enough though," I said thinking about Catalina. She hadn't told me how she knew, but then again, she always knew peoples business.

"Oh they do," Hayden told me. "I've had to ignore my message parchment all day. I'm sure when I check it later tonight it's going to be full of messages from people. I'm just happy I did it over the summer. By the time school starts, people will have moved on. At my birthday party I'm sure it will be a big topic of discussion."

"The big seventeen," I said. "You're going to be of age. You're so lucky. You'll get to do magic whenever you want."

Hayden smiled at me. "Ashley and Ben are already talking about it. They want it to be the party of the year. Normally I don't invite the younger kids to my parties, but I think they want me to this year. I think I will for the day party at least, but I want people my own age for the night party. I want my friends to be able to drink without having to look after the younger kids. You're invited too of course."

"For the day party or the night party?" I asked wondering if he thought I was too young to be hanging out with the sixteen and seventeen-year-olds.

By that point I'd had my own taste of alcohol. I'd never exactly been drunk, but I'd drank some and mum knew it. She just told me not to go overboard, and she didn't mind if I experimented because she had. She just didn't want me to make any mistakes. I knew exactly what she meant by that, and I didn't think I'd ever drink enough that I would let alcohol lower my inhibitions. I knew too much about my parents and my godparents days at school, and I would not follow in their foot-steps.

"Both," Hayden answered. "I'm sure Ellen won't mind. I know there will be a fight with Alyssa for the night party, but I don't care. I don't want twelve-year-olds at an adult party. Ashley used to do that back in her day, but I never understood that. I feel like I'd have to watch them and I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself."

That was something about my godmother I thought was odd as well. She let my Uncle Timmy and his friends go to her parties even though they were five years younger. She also used to have a buddy system in Hufflepuff, and she'd let the younger girls go to her parties even though she was in her twenties and they were in their teens. That had stopped years ago, but now when I thought about it, I couldn't understand why. When I wanted to have a good time with my friends, I didn't want to worry about the younger kids. At times I hated it when I was supposed to be baby-sitting.

"Ashley can be too nice sometimes," I answered with a shrug. "She just wanted everyone to fit in, and she knew that the younger kids liked hanging out with the older kids. I could never do that, but that's her reasoning."

Hayden nodded and we were silent for a few moments. To me it didn't seem to be an awkward silence, as if we couldn't think of anything to say, but just a comfortable silence. We were both so much into our own thoughts.

"You know, that's another reason why I haven't wanted to be around Alyssa lately," Hayden suddenly said.

"What do mean?" I asked.

"Alyssa is angry with Ashley about what happened with Hailey," Hayden told me. "You do know the details about that, don't you?"

I nodded. "Ashley told me about all that a couple of months after you started your first-year. Why is Alyssa upset about that? It wasn't Ashley's fault."

"I've tried telling her that, but she's inherited the Hoofer stubbornness. Even Hailey and the twins understand. Hailey told Ashley that it was okay and she shouldn't feel guilty about it. Hailey is seven," Hayden told me.

When Ashley was pregnant with Hailey, there was a fight in Godric's Hollow. She'd gone to help out, but didn't know she was pregnant. She'd been attacked that night, and she'd nearly lost Hailey from it. Hailey was born premature and for the first years of her life she'd been a bit sickly as well. However, she was a very strong little girl. She very rarely whined. My twelve-year-old sister whined more than she did. If Hailey hurt herself, she didn't cry or complain.

"I thought Ashley told Alyssa all of that years ago," I said.

"She did. I think Alyssa was about nine. Ashley decided to tell the twins, and she figured since she was telling them, she might as well let Hailey know as well. Alyssa seemed to accept it the first time, but this time she seems angry. I feel like she is just being a brat about it. I hate talking about my little sister this way, but she just seems to be going through an angry phase about everything and anything. So I don't even think she's upset with Ashley. I just think it's whatever it is that is making her angry that's doing it. I just don't like the fact that she keeps throwing it in Ashley's face. Ashley basically had a break down back then, and she stressed about it for years," Hayden told me.

"I remember that," I said as I remembered her staying in bed for so long, and even after Hailey was born she seemed stressed and unhappy. It wasn't until after Hayden went to school that she finally relaxed. Perhaps it was time for Alyssa and me to have a little talk. She normally came to me about her problems. I was surprised she hadn't this time. "Is she stressing about it now then?"

"I think it's bothering her that Alyssa is being a brat about it, but she's not as emotional as she used to be," Hayden answered. "If it were five years ago I'd be worried, but I overheard her telling Ben that it was probably teenage thing. I don't know if I believe that. I've been through more than Alyssa has when it comes to mum, and other than right after mum pulled her stunt, I never did any of that. I was a lot more understanding when I was twelve than Alyssa has been, and I went through a rough time then."

"Well I'm sorry to say, but Alyssa is spoiled," I told him. "She never had to go through what you did. It's the same with Clarissa. I haven't seen an attitude with Alyssa, but she's never given me one anyway. Clarissa on the other hand has it as well though. I mean, we get along better than we used to, but she does throw fits over the silliest things. I mean, Elliot got into her makeup the other day and she threw a temper tantrum. I'd be angry too, but I would have just yelled at him. She actually broke glass because she lost control of her magic. Mum says twelve is just an emotional age."

"You were never like that at twelve," Hayden said looking me right in the eyes. "In fact, you've never acted spoiled. Your siblings do, and so do mine."

It could have just been my imagination, but I felt like we were sharing a personal moment. As much as I loved my Godmother, I felt annoyed with her at that moment. She had to appear at that moment to interrupt.

"Hayden, Hailey wanted you to go up and say good-night," Ashley called.

Hayden and I looked away from each other and up at her. She was just crossing the patio to stand at the edge of the pool.

"Oh hello Michelle," she said with a smile.

I wondered if she knew we were having a moment, and she wanted to interrupt because she was being an adult.

"Hello," I answered trying not to show my annoyance with her, especially since she was the reason I was there in the first place.

"I'll be right back," Hayden said to me.

All the Hoofer children seemed to be at Hailey's beck and call. At times I could be that way with her too. That little girl had everyone, especially her Godfather, Jared, wrapped around her finger. The thing was, she didn't even try. I didn't even know if she knew the power she had over everyone. I was disappointed though. It was definitely bad timing. I watched as Hayden swam quickly across the pool, and climbed out. I stared after him understanding why Cynthia felt so jealous. He was such a handsome young man, and he worked out as well. He looked good. Ashley watched him go and then turned back to me. She knelt down by the edge of the pool and beckoned me to come closer.

"I'd give him a few months honey," she said to me in a low voice once I was closer. "I doubt he'll get back with Cynthia, but it rarely works out with people if they get together right after a break up."

"You didn't interrupt us on purpose?" I asked suspiciously.

Ashley had always known about my crush on Hayden. I didn't know if the other adults knew, or still knew. They'd known about it years ago, but I did my best to hide it. I was sure Ashley was the only one besides my friends who knew about my feelings at that point.

"No," she told me. "I didn't even know you were here. I know Hayden came out here to get away from Alyssa. It's Hailey's bedtime, and you know she likes to stay good-night to everyone if she can. I wouldn't do that unless I had something to be suspicious about. I didn't even interrupt Cynthia and Hayden when they were alone together."

"So you don't think anything could ever happen between us?" I pressed.

She'd said that she didn't think she had anything to be suspicious about after all.

"I never said that honey," Ashley said. "As usual, you're thinking too much into what I'm saying when it comes to him. Right now it wouldn't be a good idea for you to try to get with him because he just broke up with his girlfriend. However, once I know he isn't on the rebound he will be interested in other girls, and yes I think you could be one of them. All I meant was if I knew you were out here, I wouldn't think you two were anything but friends because that's all you are right now. You know that too. So don't take offence when you don't need to."

I knew everything she was saying was true, even before I'd ask her. It was just hard sometimes when it came to him. I gave her a small nod. Then I thought more about what she said. She'd said that she thought I could be one of them.

"Can we talk more about this later?" I asked her. "I did actually come over for a girls night if you're up to it, but then I saw Hayden."

"Of course," Ashley told me. "I can start setting out some snacks for us. Does Ellen know you're here?"

I nodded. "I told her I was coming over here. I told her I might stay the night."

"Well I will get your room ready as well then," Ashley said. "If you want to keep hanging out with Hayden, go ahead. Ben is having a boys night anyway, and Alyssa is being punished. The other three children are getting ready for bed. I think Hayden will want to be alone once you're done hanging out, so we can spend some time together."

They had an extra guest room, but a lot of the time it ended up being my room. There were times when I ended up staying at Ashley's because it got to be too much at home. Sometimes I had a hard time getting along with mum, but it was also my siblings too. Ashley's kids didn't bother me as much as my siblings did. With three younger siblings who at times didn't want to leave me alone, I needed to get away. The summer after my first-year in fact, I'd spent close to a month at Ashley's. So while it was usually a guest room, they referred to it as my room too.

"Thanks," I said.

Ashley went in a few moments later, and I waited for Hayden. I loved the scenery of their yard. They had a huge backyard with gardens and trails and even some ponds. At night they had lanterns lit and it looked so beautiful and relaxing. It was almost romantic. Here I was, fourteen-years-old and hanging out with the boy I'd been in love with forever. I just wished it could be more than friendship.

"Michelle," Hayden called and I was pulled out of my thoughts to look up at him. "I hope this doesn't bother you, but Craig and Andrew want to hang out. I know you wanted to hang out with Ashley anyway."

I felt disappointed but I wasn't going to stop him from hanging out with his friends. I was sure he wanted some boy time after all. So I gave a small nod to show him I understood.

"We'll hang out again though," he said. "How about Sunday night? I don't have to work Monday and I know Alyssa and Clarissa want more responsibility with the kids. With two of them, they can handle watching all the kids on their own on Monday. I did with Minnie, and you did. I think that's part of Alyssa's problem anyway. She wants more responsibility, but you, me and Minnie get in the way of that. Even Charles does at times. So we'll hang out Sunday night if you want, and maybe a bunch of us can go out on Monday for lunch or something."

I nodded quickly. "That sounds good to me. Have fun with your friends. Tell Ashley I'll be inside in a bit. I just want to swim for a bit longer."

"Will do, if I don't see you for the rest of the weekend, I'll see you Sunday night," he told me. "Have a good-night, and maybe you can talk some sense into Alyssa while you're here as well. I think she needs an older woman who isn't an adult anyway."

I smiled when he called me an older woman. He gave me a smile, and then turned to walk away. I was disappointed, but it was better than what I could ask for. We were making a lot more progress than we had years ago. He obviously did like me, even if it was just a friend if he wanted to make plans for another day. Perhaps someday he'd see me more than a friend. Sunday night he and I would hang out together, and hopefully uninterrupted. I decided at that point I was going to stay the weekend at Ashley's. I would spend some time with my godmother that night, and the next day with Alyssa. I still had some clothes at Ashley's so I didn't have to go back home unless I wanted to.

When I went inside, it was to find Ashley sitting at their kitchen island with some snacks on some plates. Most of it was healthy, but there was some junk as well. She usually liked to make a variety of snacks when we did this. She also had some butterbeers out.

"Is Alyssa still awake?" I asked her.

"I imagine so. She's probably pouting in her room," Ashley told me.

"Is she grounded for the weekend? I thought her and me could have girl day tomorrow. I know she's been giving you some problems lately," I said. "I just wanted to go up and have a quick chat with her before we get started."

"Go ahead," Ashley said. "You are one of the few people who can get through to her. She won't even listen to Hayden these days, and she used to. Normally she'd talk to Ellen or Brianne, but not lately. I think it's because they're adults. You might be one of the few she'll talk to. You don't have to tell me anything that she says. I just hate this new attitude she has. She's never given me problems before."

"I'll be right back," I informed her.

I hurried through the kitchen, into their living-room and up to the staircase. I always wondered what it would be like to grow up in a house like this. Our house was a decent size and roomy, but this was a mansion. I knew Ben had inherited money but Ashley and Ben had increased it quite it a bit. From what I heard, they had quite a bit of money before Ben had inherited. He had actually received the money until he was twenty-five. It was no wonder Alyssa acted spoiled sometimes. She probably felt like a princess in a place like this. I had to wonder how it would affect Hailey one day when she realized how much of a hold she had on everyone.

When I got upstairs, I decided to check on each of the kids first before I went to Alyssa's room. Hailey's room was the first. There was a night light on, and she was already fast asleep even though it couldn't have been a half-hour since Hayden had gone up to see her. I envied the younger children when it came to that. I used to be able to fall asleep right away, but not anymore. Usually I laid awake for a while before I fell into sleep.

Next I went into Cameron's room which was attached to William's by a bathroom. He was sitting up in bed, and reading a book. Ashley and Ben usually let their kids stay awake for a half hour or so after their bed times. As long as they were in bed, it was fine. The lights would magically turn off on their own when it was time for them to try and sleep.

"Michelle," Cameron said happily when he spotted me. "How come you are here. Are you baby-sitting tonight?"

"No, I'm hanging out with your mum tonight," I told him. "I just thought I'd say good-night to each of you before we had our girls night. What are you reading?"

He held up one of the recommended Transfiguration books that we were asked to read during our summers. We didn't have to, Professor Deplacer usually gave us a list of books to read for us to have a better understanding. She felt that we would understand better than just reading through a text-book. I had to admit, the books did help. They usually had a story to go with it rather than just a boring formal answer as to why a spell worked. To my mothers surprise, I usually read them because I did find them interesting.

"Alyssa let me borrow it," Cameron answered my unasked question.

I didn't have to ask however. Cameron loved to read. It was strange because William hated it. I knew twins couldn't be compared. Minnie's younger twin brother and sister were definitely different, and it wasn't just because they were brother and sister. I just found it odd how one twin could be found with his nose in a book all the time, while the other twin was more into Quidditch and other physical things. My mum often remarked that William and Cameron were Ben, but split into two.

"You don't even have to read that book until your second year," I said with amusement.

"I know, but I want to be prepared," Cameron said. "It's my last year of Primary school and I still can't do magic the way William does."

The twins generally got along, but they did have some sibling rivalry. With William, he hated that Cameron got better grades but he could do magic already without a wand. In my opinion however, William couldn't control the magic as well as he used to. I felt just as it had with Hayden, it was slowly fading away. Hayden used to be able to control magic without a wand, but then it stopped. I quickly explained this to Cameron who shrugged.

"Maybe, but Hayden is quite powerful with a wand," Cameron answered. "I think William will be the same. I don't think that I'll be completely useless with magic. I believe I will be able to do it, I just don't think I'll be quite as good. I think I'll be the same as mum."

"You mum is good in magic," I reminded him. "I've heard she is doing really well in her department. Once Hailey starts school, she is considering doing some travelling-"

"I know all that," Cameron interrupted with a wave of his hand. "However, mum did struggle at first. Once she was able to do a spell, she could do it forever. It's just she didn't get it right away. I think I will be the same way. I think William will be the same as dad, but more powerful."

Sometimes Cameron seemed older than his ten years. At times I thought he could be fourteen like me. He seemed so smart and mature. On the other hand, he had his anxiety issues and he could be as vulnerable as Hailey. William seemed to act his age more than his brother did.

"You could be right, but you have two parents who are good in magic," I told Cameron. "I think you'll be fine."

"Either way, I want to be prepared for my first-year," Cameron told me. "Besides, the book isn't boring. Alyssa was right when she said I'd like it."

"Well, I'll let you continue to read. I'll see you in the morning," I told Cameron. "I just want to say good-night to William and Alyssa."

"Night Michelle," Cameron said with a smile.

After a quick chat with William, who was of course reading a Quidditch book, I headed into Alyssa's room. She'd always had a very girly looking room. Ashley and Ben had definitely decorated it to her tastes. Over the last year, it had changed a little to represent Hufflepuff as well. It still had her girly touches, but it also screamed Hufflepuff. It was amazing how Ashley's mother could make a room look so good. I could never do it. She'd helped decorate our house and my room as well. I didn't change my room for Hufflepuff. It still looked the same as it had when we'd moved in, but she'd made it so it would grow with me. So it wasn't childish.

Alyssa was sitting in her window seat. She had her feet propped up against the wall, and she was gazing out the window. From her position, if she'd been there earlier, she would have seen Hayden and me swimming in the pool. She had her head leaning up again the glass of the window while she gazed out. She actually looked quite vulnerable and innocent at the moment. She could have been a little girl again if it weren't for her height, which was almost my own.

"I'm not allowed visitors," Alyssa stated without looking up.

"Your mum said I could come in here," I said as I crossed the room.

There was enough room for me to sit on the edge of the window seat with her, so I took a seat. Alyssa sighed and looked over at me.

"I'm surprised you're here. It's Friday night," she said. "Don't you and Catalina normally have some big slumber party with your followers?"

"I don't have followers," I said with irritation.

I hated it when people called them that. They were all my friends, even if we weren't all close. We just got along well. People always called them my gang of girls, or my followers, or my clones. Catalina was my best friend, but I got along with a lot of people. I hated it when people thought we were just empty headed girls. Perhaps some of them were, but no one followed me or did what I said.

"Sorry," Alyssa said with a shrug. "So how come you're here? Mum and dad don't want you to baby-sit do they? I thought this summer was going to be my summer."

"No, I am just visiting with your mum tonight. Catalina had plans tonight, and I haven't talked to anyone else. I just wanted to say good-night to you and your siblings," I answered her. "I wanted to talk to you too. I'm having a girls night tonight with your mum, but I thought tomorrow you and me could hang out and talk. You seem as if you need someone to talk to."

"I'm grounded for the weekend," Alyssa told me.

"Your mum told me we could hang out," I told her.

"So basically you want to have a talk with me, and then you can tell mum what I say? I know they aren't happy with me lately," Alyssa said and she looked annoyed now. As usual, I couldn't help but notice how beautiful she truly was, even when she was annoyed. She'd inherited her mum's pretty eyes, but she looked almost like her Aunt Brianne but prettier.

"Actually it was my idea," I said. "I just know you haven't been happy. I know Clarissa is your friend, but we're friends too. You've always come to me with things. You've told me things you haven't told Clarissa. You know that I would never tell your mum anything you don't want me to. I've kept so many secrets for you. Your mum doesn't know half the stuff you got up to last year. You know you can trust me, so I don't know why you're so suspicious now."

"Because mum and dad said I can't hang out with anyone this weekend," Alyssa answered. "I believe you I guess, it's just I'm surprised they're letting this happen."

"Well I suggested it to your mum, and she said it was fine. Also, you know your mum has never really pried," I answered.

"She's really angry with me this time though," Alyssa replied. "I can't remember the last time that mum and dad were this angry with me. Maybe when I snuck off to Hogwarts when I was seven to see Hayden. Otherwise, they've never been like this with me."

"Well you obviously did something then," I answered. "But we'll talk more about that tomorrow. For now, I am just going to go visit with your mum. Tomorrow, you and me will talk about anything and I won't tell Clarissa, or your mum or anyone anything you don't want me to."

Alyssa gave a small shrug. "Okay, but be prepared to be spending the day in here."

When I left her room, I couldn't help but wonder what it was that she had done. It was true, Alyssa was normally the good girl. Other then some things that she probably shouldn't have been doing at Hogwarts, she generally didn't do anything wrong. Usually it was the twins or Hayden that Ashley and Ben had to punish. Alyssa acted a bit spoiled, but she and Hailey were usually the good ones. I couldn't help but wonder why she was suddenly acting out.

Downstairs, Ashley was just writing on her message parchment when I entered the kitchen. I joined her at the island, and grabbed the butterbeer she had set out for me. It was nice and cool and I wondered if she'd put a cooling charm on it considering it had been sitting out for a bit.

"I said good-night to each of the kids," I informed her. "Cameron seems quite ambitious. He's reading second year books."

"He gets insecure about William," Ashley said with a shrug. "I have a feeling he's going to be the same as Ben had been when it came to school work. I think he'll be a prefect in his fifth year. I wish he wouldn't compare himself to William. He's very smart and talented on his own, but it bothers him that he's never been able to control his magic. Ben was always so insecure about Barry, and I feel like Cameron will try to prove himself the way Ben used to do."

I nodded thinking the same thing. I could understand however. What would it be like to have a sibling or even a twin that could do something you couldn't? Even though I knew I was smart, I felt that my own seven year old brother was going to be better than me in school. I thought back to Alyssa, and I wondered if perhaps she was facing some insecurity as well.

"So what exactly did Alyssa do?" I asked her.

"She was blaming me for what happened with Hailey at dinner tonight," Ashley answered and I thought back to Hayden who had brought that up. I felt instant anger with the younger girl. Didn't she understand what that had done to her mother?

"Hayden did say something about that, but I didn't know that happened today," I said thinking I would have to tell her off the next day for it. How could she do that?

"The twins were asking about it, and so was Hailey," Ashley answered. "Hailey has shown maturity beyond her seven years, so I felt we could talk to her as well. We included Alyssa as well of course, and Hayden in case they had more questions about it. We did that last week. Alyssa seemed to be brooding about something, and perhaps that was it. Tonight at dinner, she just let it all out. It wasn't just me however. She started to bring up things about Ben... I don't know if you remember that Ben had a bit of a break down when he was a full time Healer. Well, she threw that in his face, and some of the things that happened at Hogwarts as well," and she let out a sigh. "I knew we should have been more careful when we talked about our stories. We've never told them directly some of our wrong-doings at Hogwarts, but we've talked around them. Sometimes adults forget that kids listen and remember."

"But that doesn't give her the right to bring it up like that," I said. "Did it just come out of no where or did something lead up to it?"

I thought about Alyssa earlier that day. She had seemed happy when we were all swimming. Nothing she had done told me that she could be angry about anything, but then again once Catalina showed up, I stopped paying attention.

"It could have been Hayden refusing to talk to her," Ashley said. "I think that Alyssa wants us to treat her more as a grown up, and I admit we haven't been. I think she is frustrated because we still treat her as a little girl, and she is a year fresh out of Hogwarts. We do let her stay up later now, and she is allowed outside for as long as she wants as long as she doesn't leave the yard to go to your place or anyone elses. However, we haven't been letting her do anything else. Hayden had more responsibility at her age. I think she sees that and she is acting out. Hayden still treats her like a little girl, and I think she wanted to talk to him as an adult and he wouldn't let her. So she acted out when he ignored her."

"About the break up?" I asked and Ashley nodded.

"Hayden didn't mind talking to us about it, but he didn't want to talk to her," Ashley explained. "So I think she took it out on Ben and me."

"Still doesn't excuse it," I answered.

"No, but she is at that age. Michael and your mother were the same way. When they were frustrated about something, they would lash out," Ashley answered. "I was worried Hayden would be that way, but he really wasn't. He had his moments, but he's just been a typical teenager. I think Alyssa is going to be the one we're going to have to worry about," and then she sighed, "but I shouldn't be talking to you about this."

I gave a small shrug. "I don't mind," I answered.

"You wanted to talk about Hayden," Ashley said with a smile. "You know, I am glad to see you took my advice when you were nine. You have been dating, and you've even had some boyfriends. However, you do still get a bit insecure when it comes to him. It's not that I'm spying, but I've seen you with other boys your age at your parties. You've never been shy around them, but with Hayden you're almost the same way I was at that age."

"I've never had strong feelings about those boys," I answered and I glanced at her. "It doesn't seem odd to you to talk about him like this? I mean, he basically is your son."

"Cynthia used to sit here and talk to me about him," Ashley said. "I know you don't want to hear that. She used to ask me advice, and she'd want to have heart to heart chats about him. I actually prefer it to be honest with you. I want to like any of the girls, or boys for that matter that my kids date. I'm glad that girls can come to me. I doubt it will be the same with Alyssa."

I actually didn't mind hearing her tell me that. I never knew that Cynthia had talked to her. I knew that Ashley had liked her. I couldn't fault her for that. Cynthia was a nice girl after all. I couldn't hate her even if she'd been with the boy I wanted. It wasn't her fault that Hayden had liked her instead of me, and I knew the two of them had liked each other for years. To her, I was just another one of Hayden's little sisters or cousins. She never knew how I'd felt.

"Don't you ever wish that it was Minnie," I asked. "I know everyone had high hopes for them."

"We used to joke when they were younger about that, but I want Hayden to be happy. If he ever only sees Minnie as a friend, I'm fine with it. We would never force them. I honestly believe that Minnie and Hayden will only ever see each other as brother and sister. I don't know if he will be interested in you Michelle, but if he does, I'd be happy with it. I don't see why not since you're a beautiful girl, and you two get along but there is also the fact that he may just see you as a little sister. I don't want you to get hurt Michelle, but that being said, I think when enough time passes, you should go for it. I would have regretted it if I'd never told Ben how I felt," Ashley answered. "Hayden no longer sees you as a little girl. He is hanging out with you more than he used to, which I told you would happen eventually. I remember when you thought he'd always ignore you."

I remembered those days as well. It was the summer before he and Minnie were going away to Hogwarts. I'd ignored most of my friends that summer because I'd wanted him to notice me. I'd spent my days hanging out with the younger kids. The problem was, he watched us but he spent most of his time just talking to Minnie who usually showed up to help him baby-sit. I'd felt so depressed that summer because he'd ignored me the entire time.

It was the same way the summer after that, but I hadn't wasted my time being depressed about it. I'd taken Ashley's advice and just hung out with my friends. He hadn't really said much to me then either. It wasn't until the summer before my first-year that he started to pay some attention to me. He could tell I was nervous, so he'd given me some advice but he still hadn't hung out with me. He'd told me that I could go to him for help if I needed it however.

Close to the end of my first-year was when he started to pay attention to me more. It was when we started our study sessions together. He let me and Charles study with him so we could pass our first-year exams. That summer, he talked to me more. Although I had been happy that he was noticing me more, I was also upset because he'd just gotten together with Cynthia. At times he would talk to me about her and I had to pretend to be okay when he did. I knew I had to be grateful for the fact that we were slowly developing a friendship.

"He might always just see me as a friend though," I said. "I'm glad he notices me now. We do have an age difference though. He's going to be seventeen soon, and I just turned fourteen."

"Right now," Ashley answered. "I told you this before Michelle, It could take time. You don't want to stress about something that may or may not happen. Take it from me. I know."

"I know you do," I said thinking back to the way she had been with Hailey. My problems were actually quite minor compared to hers, but it still hurt when I thought about Hayden with another girl.

"Perhaps he just sees you as a friend and a little sister right now, but maybe he doesn't. I believe you should keep trying to be his friend, and try to hang out with more. You two could grow closer. Seventeen and fourteen could seem like a lot now, but in a few years it won't be. I'll tell you this much though, he was upset when Craig fire-called him to come over. He wasn't going to go because he was hanging out with you. I'm not saying it means he likes you the way you like him, but it does mean he cares about you," Ashley told me. "If he saw you as just a pesky little sister, like he does with Alyssa right now, he wouldn't have cared about leaving."

"Do you think seventeen and fourteen is too big of an age difference?" I asked her and she shook her head.

"It depends on the couple really Michelle. In my opinion, you two would get along but I could also be biased given that your my Goddaughter and obviously I like you. If you two dated, I'd be happy and I know Ellen and Keith would rest easy knowing it's Hayden and not some boy they don't know," she told me.

"Okay, so what if Hayden brought home some fourteen-year-old girl that you didn't know. Would you be okay with that?" I asked.

"If she made him happy," Ashley said. "Three years really isn't a big deal, especially since he's a sixth year and your a fourth year. I saw it happen plenty of times at Hogwarts, and the couples were fine. You seem to be making a big deal out of the age difference. Last year you wrote to tell me that a fifth year boy asked you out on a date to Hogsmeade. Wasn't he the same age as Hayden? You went with him did you not?"

"Yes," and I wondered if I should admit to her what was really bothering me about the age difference. Did she know that Hayden and Cynthia had sex? Hayden seemed years older than me just because of that.

"So what's the problem then?" Ashley asked.

"Hayden is... well more experienced," I answered.

She nodded with understanding and I guessed she did know.

"Hayden would never pressure you or any girl," Ashley answered quickly. "He never pressured Cynthia."

"But I don't want to have sex either way," I said surprised how relaxed she seemed by the fact that they'd had sex, and I was bringing it up. "I know mum was fourteen when she had it, and I don't want that. I think I want to wait a while, especially since I don't want to end up a teenage mum. Hayden might not pressure me, but he not be satisfied with a girl who won't have sex either. I've heard that once boys have had it, they expect it."

"Some do, but if they care about the girl enough, they won't pressure them. I am relieved to hear you say that however, Michelle. One of my fears, and your mothers is as well, that you kids will have it too young. I didn't even agree with Hayden and Cynthia having it, but I was glad he came to me for advice about it," Ashley said. "He wanted to know the spell for protection and about condoms."

"And you let them?" I asked surprised. "Even if you weren't happy?"

"Well, it's not as if I let them shag up here," Ashley said and she rolled her eyes. "I didn't let them go up to his room alone. But really Michelle, how could I stop them? They're at Hogwarts ten months at a time, and there are plenty of places to go. I could have told him no, and refused to tell him the spell but what good would that have done? He would have done it anyway, and likely out of spite and no protection. He could have ended up making Cynthia a teenage mother if I wouldn't help him."

She did have a point there. She could have told him not to sleep with her, but he'd do it anyway. Just as I would if I ever wanted to have it. Mum or Ashley, or anyone could tell me no, but I knew when I felt ready for it (and I didn't think it would be at least for a few years) I would do it regardless.

"As much as I hope all of you will wait, I know it could happen, and I'd rather you be informed and I know your mother feels the same way. That being said, if you and Hayden ever do date, and if it's any time soon. It's something you'll have to talk to him about. It's something you'll have to talk to any boyfriend you may have. If you are not ready, any boy will respect that if they like you, and they won't pressure you. Communication is key to any relationship. No boy, even my god son, is worth it if they aren't happy with your choice to wait. I believe if Hayden does end up having interest in you, he'll likely already know your experience level, and he won't pressure you. He also won't date you knowing that you won't want it, if he can't live without it in a relationship. Hayden has too much respect for girls to make them do something they don't want to do. He would just find someone with the same experince level. As I said, just continue to be his friend and if something happens, it happens. If not, keep dating other boys and you may find someone you like better than him. I wish I could give you all the answers you want, but I can't. Just be careful, don't let any boy pressure you, and don't wait around forever for Hayden if he only ever sees you as a friend. It might not be something that will happen, and I don't want you too hurt if it doesn't."

"Okay, but on the odd chance that you ever find out that he likes me back, will you tell me?" I asked her.

"Yes, I can do that for you," Ashley said. "In fact, if I have your permission, I'd even tell him how you feel if he ever confessed something that."

"Only if he confesses," I said quickly. "I don't want him to know otherwise."

"Well I've kept your secret for five years so far," she told me with a smile.

Later that night, I went to bed thinking about Hayden. Ashley told me that he'd been upset when Craig fire-called him. Was it because maybe he did have some feelings for me? Even if it was just because he didn't want to leave his friend, it still made me happy. I was sure I fell asleep smiling that night.

The next morning, I helped Ashley with breakfast. Ben appeared to be hungover and so he wasn't much help. He was just picking at his breakfast. I watched as Ashley poured what she called a hang-over potion into a glass in front of him. Alyssa was picking at her breakfast too, but I knew it was for different reasons. Only the twins and Hailey were talkative that morning. Usually breakfast at the Hoofers was loud.

"Dad, why do you drink if it makes you feel bad?" Cameron asked as Ben drank back the glass of smelly potion.

"Because it only makes you feel bad the next day," he answered. "Take a lesson from me. Don't touch the stuff until you're seventeen kids."

I saw Alyssa smirk at that point. She'd had her first taste of alcohol a few months ago. Although I'd done my best to keep her from trying it, she and her friends still snuck it. She ended up being hung-over the next day. Hang-over potions were basic, so I'd secretly brewed her up one even though it had been hard to hide it. There weren't many places in the castle that you could make a potion. Generally you had to be in the classroom to do so. I'd manage to make a fire in the girls bathroom in a fire-proof basin and make it. I'd never even told Hayden, who would have been furious with her about it.

I saw Ashley looking at Alyssa who didn't notice and I saw her sigh. She must have known what the smirk was all about. She pursed her lips together but she didn't say anything. It was something I hadn't talked to Alyssa about it afterwards, but perhaps that day I would bring it up as well. I didn't say much, I just helped put the breakfast out before I sat down to eat my own.

"When did you get here?" Ben asked when I sat across from him.

"She stayed the night, and she helped make breakfast Ben," Ashley said sounding amused.

"How did you not see her put the eggs on your plate daddy?" Hailey asked.

"I'm just not very observant sweety," Ben answered and then he looked at me. "You're always welcome here of course, but I'm just surprised you're here on a Saturday morning."

"She wanted to hang out with this old lady," Ashley told him.

"You're not old," I said and I saw Alyssa roll her eyes at this.

Our parents really were quite young. They'd had us when they were still so young. Ashley had been done Hogwarts, and she'd started her career but she'd only been twenty when she'd had Alyssa. By the time mum was nineteen, she'd had both Clarissa and me. Ashley was only thirty-two, turning thirty-three in September. Ben was the same way. My mum would be thirty-two that summer. Even Alyssa could admit they were young, but at the moment she didn't want to.

"You're sweet," Ashley told me.

"Alyssa and me are hanging out today," I told him and I wondered what he would say to that.

Given that he hadn't realized I was there, he likely didn't know the plan for the day. I knew he was strict when the kids were being punished. However, all he did was nod, so he must have understood why Ashley was letting this happen. William however must not have understood because his head snapped up quickly.

"Alyssa is being punished. I still think she needs a spanking dad," he said.

"Alyssa is too old for spankings, as we've told you already, William," Ashley said. "And if you keep telling us to spank her or your brother or Hailey, maybe we'll have to forget that you're too old for them too. I don't know why you get so happy when your siblings are punished, but I wish you would stop instigating things. You can spend the day in your room too if you're going to keep it up."

"I don't get why Alyssa gets to have a friend over when she is being punished," William insisted. "I'm never allowed."

"Don't you worry about it," Ben told him. "Keep it up, and maybe it's you that will have the sore bottom instead."

"Why am I being punished for no reason?" William whined.

"William," Cameron said and he shook his head at him.

William let out a sigh but he didn't say another word. A lot of the time it was only his twin who could stop him from escalating things. I glanced at Hailey who was watching all this without saying a word. Normally she kept quiet when her siblings argued or they were getting told off. She seemed out of place at the table. All the Hoofer's, even Ashley, had brown hair and brown eyes. She had blond hair and brown eyes. She could have been my sister instead. Ben said it happened sometimes with his family. His cousin Sam, who I'd met a few times was someone who had blond hair even though the rest of his siblings didn't. I wondered why that was given what I knew about genetics. Generally the darker hair would dominate the blond. She did look similar to Alyssa however, but with blond hair and lighter skin.

"I want to go swimming after breakfast mummy," she said now. "It's nice and sunny out today."

"As long as Cameron and William go out with you," Ashley answered.

"I wanted to fly," William muttered.

"I can swim with her," Cameron said. "I don't want to fly."

"You never want to fly," William said. "You know, we do need to practice being Beaters. We want to be like the legendary Weasley twins."

Cameron didn't answer. I knew he had no desire to play Quidditch when they went to Hogwarts. He never played in Primary school unless it was during gym class. William had it in his head since they were twins that they would be like Fred and George Weasley had been. Cameron wanted to part of it however.

"Not today," he finally said. "I'd rather swim. I bet it's going to be as hot out as it was yesterday. Michelle, are you going to swim with us."

"Maybe later," I said. "Alyssa and I are going to hang out for a bit," and I glanced at William who looked annoyed again but he didn't answer.

No one was about to explain to him why Alyssa and me were hanging out. I had a feeling even Cameron understood what was going on. Sometimes I did talk to the other kids too when they were being punished. William seemed to be the only one who thought that she was being rewarded. Hailey didn't appear to care, but she rarely did. She was still quite young however.

"I get so sick of William when he gets like that," Alyssa said to me later after we went up to her room and the door was shut. "He even gets excited when Cameron gets punished. Last night at dinner, he kept telling mum and dad to spank me. He was almost punished for the weekend himself. Sometimes he even tells them to spank Hayden, and he's going to be seventeen soon."

We walked over to sit at her window seat.

"Well hopefully it's something he grows out of soon," I said not really sure what to say to that. I didn't really understand either why he'd be happy to see his siblings punished. I usually felt bad when mine were, even if they deserved it.

"So I suppose you do know what happened at dinner last night," Alyssa said. "If mum and dad are letting this happen, I am sure mum told you everything."

"Yes," I answered and I felt my annoyance with her return. "How can you blame your mum for that? You have no idea what she went through. I remember everything from those days. So does Hayden. She had a break down when she thought she'd lost Hailey, and even for years after that she was stressed out about it. That night wasn't her fault."

"I know it wasn't, and I don't blame her for it," Alyssa said. "And I regret saying it to her. I'm going to apologize later. I was just so damned angry last night, and just things came out. Mum shouldn't have even been there that night. Even if she wasn't pregnant, or didn't know it. She should have stayed at Grandmum's with us. I remember everything too."

"Is that why you're angry?" I asked with confusion. I knew it had stressed her out, even though she'd been only four. I remembered her confessing her fears to us back then about her mother.

"Not exactly. I mean, it does make me angry but I'm not angry with her if that makes sense," Alyssa answered. "There's a lot of things that people should have or shouldn't have done, but it doesn't change anything. I know mum would change everything if she could, but I still stand by my opinion on that, and I know plenty of other people do too. Daddy wouldn't have even wanted her there even if we weren't born. I've just been feeling angry lately, and then I think about that and it was making me angrier even though it shouldn't have been. I was just letting everything build up."

"Okay..." I said slowly.

I did understand what she meant. It angered me that mum had me so young, but I wasn't angry with her. In the past, I would brood about it and if something else was bothering me, and I thought about that I would get angrier.

"So what is bothering you that made everything erupt last night?" I asked. "Is it because Hayden wouldn't talk about his break up with you?"

"Not exactly," Alyssa answered. "It's what brought it on, but if he doesn't want to talk to me about it, then he doesn't want to talk to me about it."

"So-" I began again but Alyssa continued.

"He still sees me as a little girl, just as my parents do. I've been feeling this way since I got home, and that made it worse. It wasn't that he wouldn't talk to me, it's that he told me it was 'grown up' talk and that's when I exploded," she explained. "Hayden was my age when he got to baby-sit everyone. Mackenzie gets to look after Peyton without Charles around. So many of my school friends get to look after their siblings without supervision. You get to. Mum was younger than me when she started baby-sitting."

"But you get to help me," I told her.

"But that's just it Michelle," Alyssa said with frustration. "I get to be your special little helper. Hayden has his own job now, so the responsibility for my brothers and sister should have gone to me. Damn it, I just want to be in charge of my brothers and sister since I am the oldest. No one ever takes me seriously though. All I get told is: 'Maybe next year,' or as you said: 'Oh you're Michelle's special helper,' but I don't want that! If I talk about it though, I get ignored. If I act out as mum calls it, I get called spoiled. Even by you, Clarissa and Hayden!" She said her voice getting louder now.

"If I'm so spoiled, why do I want to work to earn my own money for school? If I am so spoiled, why do I even want some responsibility? If I am so spoiled, why did I work so hard on my grades last year? It's not just the family, it's people at school too. I'm just a spoiled little rich girl who is trying to coast through life on my looks! I know I am pretty, but I have never used that to my advantage. I want to get somewhere in life, but not because I have money or because I am pretty, but because I earned it!"

She jumped up now from the window seat and started to pace.

"I know I am not perfect, and I have done things that I've gotten in trouble for... and well some of the stuff like drinking last year," Alyssa added in a lower voice now as she looked at me. "But otherwise, I am usually good. I didn't get any detentions last year. I am in the top five of the year. All my teachers had good things to say about me. So basically, I have never given my mum or dad a reason not to trust me. Mackenzie has been in more trouble than me. Hayden has been as well. All of them get to baby-sit at my age, but I don't. So why am I still treated like a little girl when last night is probably the first time I've really done anything too childish in a long time?" Alyssa asked me. "What have I done to make mum, dad and even Hayden think I am too young and can't be trusted."

"Nothing," I stated. "Look, I know I said we won't talk to your parents about anything you don't want to, but this is something we will talk to them. I'm not telling them about the drinking or anything else Alyssa, but they need to know how you feel about this. After you and I have a talk, and I know there is more you want to talk to me about, and I have some things I want to talk to you about, we're going downstairs to talk to your parents about this."

It was true. Alyssa was usually good. My own sister got into trouble more than she did. The most Alyssa had done was snog random boys, and drink alcohol. Eleven in my opinion was too young for that, I felt that way at eleven, but several girls did it anyways. Alyssa was no worse than the girls or even the boys in her years. Her parents didn't even know about that stuff either, so in reality, she hadn't done anything to make Ben or Ashley think they couldn't trust her.

In my opinion, they did trust her, but they just didn't want her to grow up until recent events. I knew Ashley was worried that Alyssa was doing more than she let on, given her reaction to Alyssa's smirk last night. She'd also of course told me the night before that she was worried that she would have more problems with Alyssa than Hayden. It was why me and my little god-sister needed to have a chat. I was about to tell her more things than even Clarissa knew. Maybe even Catalina for that matter.

I almost expected Alyssa to argue with me, but she just gave a small nod and then joined me at the window seat again.

"Now, I have a few things I do want to talk to you about," I said. "And I hope you do listen."

"I will," Alyssa answered. "When did you get to be so grown up? I have older friends and younger friends. You seem closer to Hayden's age than just two years older than me. Catalina and Alexis are immature compared to you."

"Oh I have my moments," I told her. I didn't think I was more mature than the average fourteen-year-old. "But I will explain that to you as well. I do have my reasons why I try to be mature. We'll talk about that later."

"So what did you want to talk to me about? It wasn't just about dinner last night was it?" Alyssa asked.

"No," I answered. "I was going to talk to you anyway, and Clarissa. I just kind of worry about the two of you. Last year, you two kept snogging so many different boys and I think about mum and everything she got up to in school."

Alyssa smirked and then rolled her eyes. "I don't know about Clarissa, I mean she says she won't, but really I can only speak for myself. I'm not planning on taking my clothes off for the first boy who is willing. Michelle, you have snogged boys between relationships."

"I didn't snog when I was eleven. Last year at the Halloween party, you and that Lance boy were quite wrapped up into each other," I said.

I'd never considered kissing anyone in the first year, unless it was in my fantasies about Hayden. Even when Charles and I had our 'relationship' when we were nine, we just held hands. We thought kissing was gross. I didn't get my first kiss until close to my thirteenth birthday. My little sister and her best friend did it so casually. Perhaps they had even kissed boys in Primary school.

"It's just kissing Michelle," Alyssa told me. "I've known these boys since I was four-years-old. I don't plan to sleep with anyone any time soon. I don't want to be a teen mum, and the idea of sex terrifies me anyway. This is exactly what I am talking about though. People, including you, make assumptions about me. I've listened to the talks from mum, dad and even your parents. I am listening to you too. I know mum had sex with Jared in a broom closet, and I don't plan to do that. Our parents might not have cared about the consequences of casual sex, but I do. I want a career. I'm not going to be married with children at the age of twenty."

"And you've hit the nail on the head about why I'm so 'mature,'" and I used finger quotes when I said the word 'mature,' "Mum was just a month or so shy of her seventeenth birthday when she got pregnant with me. She was with my dad of course, but I also know about the things she did in school. It wasn't just the sex, but she slacked off on her school work, she drank all the time, she got detentions and it was her pregnancy with me that was a wake-up call. I don't want to be in that situation. So I am doing everything that is the opposite of what mum did. It's just, I see Clarissa going the same way mum did. Her marks weren't very good last year."

"And because she is my best friend, you think I do it too. My mum was your mum's best friend and they weren't the same. My mum certainly did her fair share of dumb things in school, like sleeping with Jared, but no offence, she didn't do the stupid things your mum did. So I don't know why you're so worried about me. You say yourself that you're nothing like your friends. You should give me the benefit of the doubt. It should be Clarissa that you're having the sex talk with, not me," Alyssa told me. "I know you mean well Michelle, but I promise I'm not going to do anything stupid. I'm not doing anything worse than a lot of girls my age do. You know Harriet actually let a boy feel her up... not that she had anything to touch. I just kissed and that's it."

"I thought you said that Clarissa wasn't planning to have sex," I demanded.

"She says she's not, but like I said, I can only speak for myself," Alyssa told me. "I can't read her mind anymore than you can read Catalina's. All I know is what I just told you. All I am saying is that if you are worried about someone following in your mum's footsteps, it's not me. I haven't done anything bad, and I don't plan to. Besides the snogging, which I don't think is bad, the worst I did last year was get drunk once."

"And that was something else I wanted to talk to you about," I said. "I just think if you drink, you should pace yourself."

"Trust me, if I drink again, I will be," Alyssa answered. "I was curious about drinking, so I drank. I didn't like what happened the next day. I liked the buzzed feeling, but I don't want to wake up puking ever again. I don't know how mum and dad or any of the other adults do it."

"They're used to it," I said, "but I don't get it either."

"Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?" Alyssa asked. "Because no one has to worry about me. I don't know if it's because of the family I come from, but I feel like people hold me to a higher standard than most people my age. I don't know how the Weasley's do it. Everything they do ends up in the prophet or the Witch Weekly. At least we're not famous, but we're a big family, and we have money so people gossip about us too. If I were just a normal every day girl, no one would care."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I shouldn't have made assumptions but it's hard for me not to worry about you. I'm not doing it because I think you're a bad girl or anything. I just feel like you're my younger sister. I've known you my whole life. I should have talked to you before I made assumptions, and so should everyone else. I do admit, I was worried last year that you'd turn into one of those party girls."

"Well I won't," Alyssa said. "I plan to have fun, but I won't be like your mum or my mum. Don't you ever think that they just got lucky?"

"What do you mean?" I asked with confusion.

"Well think about it. Your mum is doing really well with her articles and her party planning but she ended up pregnant at seventeen. Not too many teen parents could end up with what she has. My grandmum was only eighteen when she got pregnant with my Aunt Jaime, and it took her forever to have money. My mum grew up poor, and it wasn't only because my real granddad died. They would have been poor anyways. My mum married into money," Alyssa said.

"In a way you're right," I said understanding now. "My mum said that dad is one of those rare teen boys to step up, but our mums did work hard. I know your mum had a learning disability, and she struggled in school. She made more money than your dad did before they got married. She had more money than him before he got that trust fund you know."

Alyssa looked at me with shock. Perhaps she hadn't known all that. I did, but I also talked to Ashley a lot more than Alyssa did. I'd wanted to know more about her childhood and how she'd managed to accomplish all she did. I honestly looked up to my godmother more than I did my own mother. She'd worked hard all through Hogwarts, and I think even if she hadn't married Ben, she'd be as accomplished as she was now. Perhaps she wouldn't live in a mansion, but she'd be well off. I told all this to Alyssa who raised her eyebrows and shook her head.

"I never knew all that. I just always thought mum got lucky enough to marry into a rich family," Alyssa answered. "She never told me any of that."

"Maybe you should ask your mum more questions instead of just judging her," I said.

Alyssa shrugged. "Maybe, but it's hard not to make assumptions when you just hear things."

"And that could be why people assumed the things they have about you," I pointed out to her.

"I guess," Alyssa said. "You seem to really care about my mum. Is it just because she's your godmother. Your mum is my godmother, and I love her but you seem almost defensive about mine."

"I just know she's been through a lot," I answered. "And it really did make me angry that you would bring up Hailey to your mum."

"I'll talk to her about that," Alyssa assured me. "We all say things we don't mean when we're angry. It was just Hayden saying 'grown up' talk that set me off. I knew it was wrong even when I was doing it."

"Are you ready to talk to your parents right now?" I asked her and she nodded.

I smiled, feeling happy that I had gotten through to her. I did worry about my own sister though. I was going to have to have a talk with her as well. We had all summer for that though.