A/N: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. All else belong to me, WMI.
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He Sees Me
Prologue
As I lie here in this hospital bed, I can't help but be grateful and ashamed at the same time. Laying in a room with white walls and white floors, under the heat of bright lights is not what I thought it would be. I can't stand the hum of the machines, nor the stiffness of this mattress. I don't like these cold, scratchy hospital sheets, but most of all, I cannot believe that I am here in the first place.
People say they know what shame feels like, but they have no idea what it means to truly be ashamed of yourself. It's not just doing something wrong and feeling bad. Nor is it hurting someone when you didn't mean to do so. No, it's avoiding mirrors because you can't bear to look at your reflection. A reflection so vile you want to vomit. It's ostracizing yourself from those who love you the most, even when they are standing next to you. I should have never let this happen, and I don't know how to fix it.
How do I get back to the "before"? Before I met him, and before I changed into this person whom I don't even know. It's crazy when I truly think about it. I want to be alone to wallow in my misery, but these people won't leave. I am grateful that they are here, but still ashamed that they have to be here in the first place.
Rosalie sits there glaring, but not at me. She's glaring at the floor, as if the floor is him. With her perfectly arched eyebrows and made-up face, she doesn't belong here. She shouldn't be sitting in a hospital room, at my bedside, because of the stupid things I've done. Yet, she is here, glaring, and I know what she is thinking. If she had the chance, she would kill him. What's more, her husband, Emmett –my protector, would decimate him, if he had the chance. Emmett stands at the door to my room, all hulking and menacing in his 6'2" frame. They would do anything for me, even if that meant killing. I am grateful.
I am ashamed, that Carlisle and Esme have to be here. That they have to see me like this, at my lowest. I know that I have disappointed them, even if they don't say it. Their faces may not show it, but I just know. I've failed them tremendously, but they are here. Esme, flutters around my room and dotes on me as she has always done, and Carlisle checks over my charts because the doctor in him can't help himself. However, I know they both mean well, because they only want the best for me, their surrogate daughter. They took me in when I felt that I had no one. A flighty mother and a dead father don't really make for good family. As an only child, I was alone.
It wasn't until I met Edward that I really had a family. Meeting him was the best thing to ever happen to me, and I can't help but think that I ruined it. He took me in during junior year of high school and never looked back. I was the new girl in Forks, and on the first day in science class, he pulled me into the fold. I will be forever grateful, but as I look at him now, talking on the phone to Jasper, I wonder where it all went wrong. No time to think about the answer because I drift off again.
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I wake to a room full of voices, noticing that Alice and Jasper have arrived. My hospital room is starting to become full, but I don't dare ask anyone to leave. Edward is the first to notice I'm awake, but the others catch on quickly. He comes to my side and picks up my hand.
"Bella!" he says. "Are you okay?" While holding my right hand, he lifts it to his mouth and kisses it.
I nod, once, twice, and then I cry.
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A/N: Please review and recommend