It wasn't too long ago that I believed.
I believed that my world was one of innocence. I believed that I had a chance at happiness. I believed I'd be safe.
I was aware that perhaps my worldview was fragile. Perhaps everything I'd been fighting for would be blown to dust in minutes.
But those were only possibilities that I knew of. They were never anything I truly believed.
Heck, I didn't even think that there was a difference between knowing and believing, until now.
Now, damnation is going to rain upon us all. Damnation that we brought upon ourselves. A lucky few will be able to withstand the worst of what's to come. They'll be able to survive the fallout of our sins.
I am not one of the fortunate few. I will have no choice but to see this beautiful world I live in turn to ash right in front of me.
Of course, I wonder why I was ever brought into existence, if every day of my life only led up to seeing civilization fall apart all around me. If the very future I'd spent my life working towards was ultimately going to be nuked into oblivion.
No, perhaps it isn't so simple. There are already those chosen few who will survive this, and my chances of making it out of this disaster alive may be less than assured.
But even so, I have not lost. I'm still here. This world is still here.
If I still breathe after the damnation has rained, if I can survive the hell about to rain upon those who aren't already in the vaults, I could still build a new future.
And if I do survive, I know I won't be alone. No, I believe that I won't be alone. I believe I will find those who have suffered like I have, and we'll build a new world.
A world where all the horrors and mistakes of today aren't forgotten, but serve as a reminder for humanity's potential for avarice. A world where we do everything we can to ensure no one has to suffer like us ever again.
If I can bring that kind of world to fruition, I haven't lost. If I can still be here, despite my fellow man's best efforts to eradicate me, I haven't lost.
I believe it's still possible. I believe there is still a future for me to build.
So long, Amanda. I believe that I will see you again. Don't forget about me.