First time submitting a story here. We all wish we could be better people for those that we love, which is where this idea came from. Please let me know what you think or what suggestions you have.

The Things I'm Good At

My son broke my heart today.

He did it with a simple request that should have been even simpler to fulfill.

"Cloud, I want to be more like you. Can you teach me something?"

Such a simple request. Just show him some of the things that I'm good at, teach him to be more like me.

I buckled under the realization that I'm terrified of my son being like me...and I'm ashamed of the things I'm good at.

What could I possibly teach you that I can be proud of?

I could show you how to set a bomb to ensure the widest blast radius.

I could teach you how to ignore the news the next day, so that you don't think about the families that used to live in that sector.

I could teach you how to angle your sword so that it doesn't get stuck on the bones as the blade enters the body.

I could teach you the best way to keep a man quiet as he bleeds out, so that he can't raise the alarm.

I could teach you how to pretend to sleep when the nightmares come, or ignore your teammates as they do the same.

I could show you which liquors burn the right way to take your mind off it, even for a moment.

How to rationalize each and every set of lifeless eyes that are burned into your memory.

Do you want to know how to lie to those you care about? I've had plenty of practice.

How about to yourself? I'm the best in the Goddamn business.

To run away from responsibility? It's second nature.

I could teach you how to be too weak and too slow to make a difference as your world ends in front of you. How to take that anger and rage at your failures and turn it into a weapon…one that burns the ones you love.

These are the things I'm good at.

What could I possibly have to teach you?

You're too young, too innocent, too perfect just the way you are.

What could I possibly show you that I'm proud of?

I don't even hear her as she walks up behind me, gently wraps her arms around me and presses a wrench into my shaking hand.

She angles me toward the garage and says something to Denzel, who slips his hand in mine as we walk toward Fenrir.

I don't have much that that I can teach you my son…but I can show you how to choose friends that will stay by your side, no matter how little you deserve it. That push you to become more than you are, someone that can stand up to the monsters in this world…and the far more terrifying ones in your mind.

I can show you how to wake up every morning and work to be worthy of the love of a perfect woman, even though you know she deserves so much more.

I can teach you to piece together the broken man you are because your family needs someone, and defend that family with all you have left.

These are a few of the things I'm good at.