S.O.S. Part 1

I hate computers.

Hey, you. Yeah, you on the other side of the screen. I want a word with you. Is the screen bright enough for you? Are my words coming through nice and clear? Yes?

Okay, if that's the case, please do me a favor.

Get me out of here.

Please, I'm begging you. I have no idea how I ended up here, and I have no idea how long it's been since I got here. I was in the Ki– I mean, Mickey's library, and I was standing in front of this giant computer on his desk. I kind of pressed a button on accident (yes, it was totally an accident; I'm not lying!), and there was this huge bright light. All of a sudden I ended up in some weird glowing room with a bunch of pictures floating around. I saw a picture of the islands, so I went up to touch it, then – I was on the islands. No lie; I was in my home world, Destiny Islands. And I saw younger versions of my friends, and it made absolutely no sense to me until –

Hey, who're you talking to?

– this weirdo showed up. And, great; he can eavesdrop on my thoughts, too. As if he weren't annoying enough already. Anyway, he's –

Hey, that isn't nice! I'm not annoying!

Stop interrupting me! Besides, it's none of your business who I talk to!

Oh, it is too my business! It's your business, so it's my business, too!

What kind of stupid logic is that?

It's my kind of logic! And, umm…yours too, I guess?

…Yeah, whatever. See? This is why I called him annoying.

Hmph. Didn't think that the real me would be so mean. 'Cause I'm not!

That doesn't make any sense!

Well, whatever. So c'mon; who were you talking to? …Oh, hey; can they hear me too?

How should I know –

HELLOOOOOOOO? ANYBODY THEEEEERE? CAN YOU HEAR MEEEEE?

Augh! Damn it; shut up! Don't be so loud!

But I was only –

Just go bury yourself.

What?

On the beach.

Um –

And get Tidus and Wakka to help.

Hold on –

And I'll get Selphie to take pictures.

Hey!

Look, I'm trying to tell you very nicely to go away. I'm trying to call for help, and you being here is just messing things up! Go bother somebody else!

Why're you calling for help?

Why? It's because I'm not supposed to be here, that's why!

You're not?

No; I need to get back to the real world! Me being here is just messing up reality!

Seriously?

No, not seriously; it's just really annoying. Speaking of which, you should be helping me get out of here!

I don't want to.

…Say what now?

I said, I don't want to!

Oh, you have got to be kidding me.

No, I'm serious! It's always so boring here! I haven't had this much fun in ages! If you leave, it's only gonna get boring again, so I'm not helping!

That's the stupidest reason to keep someone anywhere against their will that I've ever heard.

Is not.

Ugh, forget it. I'm only wasting my time with you. You know, considering who you are, I thought you'd practically chase me out.

Ha! Not a chance.

…Right. Anyway. Hey, if you're still there and you can hear me – And me! – Shut up! Okay, look; you have got to go call somebody to get me out of this stupid computer. If you can do it yourself, that's awesome; but I'd rather play it safe so please call someone who knows what they're doing, 'kay? Seriously, just – just go and find somebody to get me out. Ugh, all my friends must be worried sick, and my parents, and Kairi…oh man, she's so going to kill me…

Don't go then. She can't kill you if you're in a computer, right?

You are really not helping.

What; you actually want to go and die? That can't be normal.

It was just a figure of speech!

…Figure of what now?

…Never mind. Just…just go away, okay? I'm in the middle of a crisis here.

Oh, um…can I help you somehow?

Ohh, now you choose to help me out? Aren't you a considerate one.

I'm sorry! I – I just didn't think you'd get this upset about it.

Okay, okay; fine. So you got any ideas on how to bust me out?

Well, uh…there should be a text box at the bottom of the page –

A text box?

Yeah. You know, a box where you put text.

I think I know that much at the least; thanks for the vote of confidence.

Sorry.

So…what's text?

…

What?

Nothing. Um, anyway; texts are like, uh, letters and numbers and stuff.

Oh, okay. Why couldn't you have said that sooner?

Because you said you – *sigh* Never mind. So like I said, there's a text box at the bottom of this page where people can write stuff down.

…Okay. And?

Well, ask them for a petition or something. Tell them to talk to the person who wrote this and convince her to let you out.

Uh-huh…wait a second; who is 'her'? That person is the reason I'm here in the first place?

Uh…kind of.

You can't be serious. So yelling at the people out there to get me out isn't going to do anything?

Pretty much, yeah. They can't get you out themselves. They have to nag the author into doing it.

Gah, of all the rotten luck…

So yeah, you can yell at them all you want. Maybe they'll feel sorry enough for you to leave a little note or something.

You know, you're not exactly inspiring any confidence here.

Hey, who knows? You might get lucky! There's got to be at least a few people out there who care about you enough to give you a hand.

Still not helping with the whole confidence thing.

Oh, come on; cheer up! Oh, I know – we can play some more minigames while we wait!

Oh, no no no no no no. Anything but the minigames! They always end with me dying thanks to those stupid bottomless pits!

Well, that's not exactly my fault. You just suck at the controls. And you do know that you can use Glide, right?

…Why didn't you tell me this sooner?!

I did tell you! I told you everything in the game instructions before you started playing! It's your fault for not paying attention!

Excuse me for being a little busy trying not to fall to my death!

And those directions were readable before you started playing.

…I hate you.

Hey, don't go blaming this on me. It's your fault; not mine.

Shut up. Just shut up.

You're just being a sore loser. Quit yelling at yourself.

…You didn't.

Yeah, I went there. What are you going to do about it?

Know what; forget the minigames. Let's duel to the death, you and me. Now.

…Um…'duel to the death'?

Shoot; I didn't mean to say 'death'! What the heck?

I think you should blame the author for that one.

*sigh* For once you actually make sense.

Heh, guess she likes messing with you.

Looks like it. Geez, this is too unfair.

That's just all the more reason for you to get everybody out there to help you out, right?

Finally, we're on the same page! Hey, you guys hear that? If you're still there, please knock some sense into this author! Tell her to take it easy on me for once, okay?

Haha, yeah; seriously. He needs it badly.

What are you talking about?

Um, nothing. Just saying.

You're hiding something.

No, I'm not.

Liar.

Well, you can't make me say anything. If you haven't guessed yet, the author's on my side.

Is that so? That means I can convince everyone out there to yell at you, too!

…Shoot, that wasn't supposed to happen!

Aha! So you do have something to hide!

No, you didn't hear anything. Computers always say random things!

I don't think this counts as random. It's too conveniently placed to be random. And you're not a computer.

Rrrgh…end the section here! End it; end it; end it!

Wait a sec; I thought we were dueling!

That's gonna happen off-screen!

Coward.

Shut up.

Ahem, Yes. Epic fourth wall breaking. Yay me! *confetti* Well, that was fun. This is my first time ever writing something like this…and I may do more in the future; who knows. This is pretty entertaining to do. XD

And yeah, this actually is going to end up being a twoshot. I don't know what happened, honestly. This wasn't supposed to break the fourth wall, and it wasn't supposed to be a twoshot. But…strange things happen, I guess. Huh. ^^;

So yes, you heard the boys. Convince me to let Sora out of the computer that I oh-so-conveniently stuck him in. What I mean is that I literally can't finish this twoshot without you guys, because you guys decide the ending. So please…if you want to see the end of this story, or if you care about what happens to Sora, or some other reason – leave a review, please. No reviews, no conclusion. That's the condition. Once I get at least three (hooray low standards), I will start the next part based on majority rules!

Oh, so you're the author, huh? You're the one that trapped me in this computer! There is absolutely no way you're getting away with this!

What – where'd you – Sora, I thought you two were fighting!

We were! But then he ran off while I wasn't looking and invaded your author's note!

I am so revoking your pay for this!

Oh, come on! It wasn't my fault! You're the one writing this; it's your fault!

You just did not play that card.

Hey! Don't ignore me! I'm still here! Let me out of here, you!

No can do; sorry. You just gotta rely on my readers!

And you shouldn't get your hopes up; she doesn't get a whole lot of reviews in the first place.

Will you just shut up!

I'll only stop if you agree to pay me again!

Stop being so immature!

No!

HELLO; I'M STILL HERE! LET! ME! OUT!

*sigh* Okay, look; if you drag him away now, I'll pay you.

Deal! *grabs Sora and drags him back into the story*

…Okay, now that that's out of the way…I'm just trying to be interactive with you guys, okay? I really haven't been making an effort into trying to connect with you all so I'm trying to change that with this.

Either way, I hope you liked this. Don't forget guys; don't leave Sora in the computer. How else is Kingdom Hearts III gonna come out, right?

Thanks for reading, guys! Bye for now (I hope)!