His heart began to speed up the same time that his hand went completely slack in Blaine's now iron tight grip. A buzzing filled the room and his mind went completely blank. There were words coming out of the doctor's mouth, he knew this, could see this, but the buzzing was louder so all he could hear was unrecognizable murmuring.

Kurt turned his head and looked at Blaine, his Blaine. His eyes were downcast and there were tears filling them and leaking out onto the baby blue polo Kurt had forced him to wear for luck; useless luck.

He looked down to where their hands were clasped. His fingertips were red from being squeezed and Blaine's knuckles were a stark white against them. He knew it should hurt, but he could barely feel the pressure.

Looking back up to his husband, he was met with hazel eyes swimming in tears looking into his own dry blue ones. Blaine was talking, but Kurt might as well have been underwater, may as well be drowning in the tears Blaine's eyes were leaking for how well he could hear anything being said. Blaine's eyebrows drew together when Kurt didn't respond to anything he or the doctor said, and he placed a hand against Kurt's neck and cheek, his thumb moving gently. Kurt felt a swooshing sensation where the thumb touched him, but that was the extent of comfort he could gather.

When Blaine's lips began moving again, Kurt looked at them and noticed that the same word was being said over and over again.

Breathe.

It took a moment for Kurt to understand, to figure out why Blaine was saying this, but once he did, suddenly there was no way to ignore the way that his chest was heaving, that he couldn't get any air into his lungs. It was like the bubble that had caused everything to numb was popped and suddenly there was noise, noise everywhere; loud and terrifying but it didn't matter because nothing would change the news they just got, and why couldn't he breathe?

"Kurt, Kurt look at me." The doctor's voice got his attention, and when did she move to sit next to him. Her voice was kind and calm; it pulled Kurt's focus, "I want you to breathe with me, nod if you understand."

Kurt felt like his head weighed a hundred pounds, but he must have nodded because she smiled and began talking again.

"Great, now breathe in 1…2…3…4 and out 1…2…3…4…5." She repeated this until Kurt's heart started to feel like it belonged in his body again.

Blaine's hand squeezed his tightly, he must've let up at some point, and Kurt found himself staring into his eyes once again.

"Are you ok?" He asked, his voice cracking from the emotion still painted on his face.

Kurt opened his mouth to answer, but a sob beat out any words, and tears quickly followed them. Kurt saw Blaine's face crumble, but in the next moment, he was staring at the stupid baby blue of his shirt, his tears staining them navy.

"Our baby, Blaine! She...I don't…" He cried, squeezing his eyes shut.

Blaine's hand rubbed his back soothingly, "I know…I know, it's not fair, but we're ok…you're ok."

"I feel like my heart is being ripped out." He cried.

"Mine too, but it's not, we're still here. We still have each other and it will be enough for now. We'll get each other through this. It won't feel like this forever."

"It will!"

"It won't; it can't. I promise it won't." He pulled Kurt back and held his shoulder's; his eyes, swollen and red, matched his own, "I love you, I love you and that will never change."

He crumbled again, but somehow managed to get his I love you, too out clear enough for Blaine to understand, "She's gone! She's gone."

Blaine pulled him back into a tight hug, "I know."

Dr. Shapiro allowed them to sit and hold each other in her office until they were calm enough to safely leave. It took almost two hours, but after having to look the two men in the eyes and tell them that there was no longer a heartbeat when she performed the ultrasound on their unborn daughter? Well it was the least she could do.