It was odd behavior and it needed to be addressed. This behavior clearly had started over the summer but it had entered the classroom. Gabe was quick to pick up on Epstein's new behavior, since it was so unlike him in so many ways. But he wasn't sure how to bring it up. That was because, with the new state Epstein was in, Gabe wasn't sure just how sensitive he would be about it. Plus, Epstein never was one to handle any sort of confrontation well. Gabe learned that early on when Epstein ran away after his friends picked on him for losing a fight.
In the meantime, Gabe tried conducting class as normally as possible. Each day it was getting harder because Epstein was becoming a distraction for Gabe and the other students. The distraction had formed a growing cloud of concern for Epstein's well-being. That was because, there clearly was some sort of unspoken emotional issue behind this new, odd behavior. Epstein was eating in class.
At first, it was limited to small snacks. Then he started eating his entire lunch he had brought from home. And it was never anywhere near lunch time. Gabe asked him one morning if he was getting breakfast at home. Epstein simply answered yes, and then continued eating. It was in that moment when Gabe realized something else that was different about the student. It wasn't much, but Epstein had put on a few pounds during the summer. This made Gabe understand that whatever Epstein was going through, it had been happening for a little while. It also gave Gabe the feeling that things were slowly getting worse for Epstein as each day passed.
One day, after the last class of the day, Gabe stopped Epstein in the hallway. The teen seemed distracted as he fished through his locker, while muttering to himself. Right as Gabe got his attention, Epstein pulled something out of this locker and smiled.
"Ah-hah!" Epstein laughed. "Thought I forgot to bring it." He unwrapped a sandwich straight from the deli, and then he took a big bite from it. "My snack for the way home."
"Epstein do you have a minute?" Gabe asked, approaching him. "I think we should talk."
"Sure sure, Mr. Kotter." Epstein took another bite. "What about?"
"Well I was wondering if there was something bothering you lately."
Epstein paused and then shrugged his shoulders with a small shake of his head. "No. Nothing's bothering me. I am hungry though." He took a couple more bites of his sandwich.
"You've been seeming pretty hungry lately. That is, well you've been eating a lot."
Epstein stiffened mid-bite. His shoulders hunched a little. Slowly eating the bite he took, he frowned. He balled one fist and began hitting his side with it. Turning to face Gabe full on, he looked at him, offended.
"What of it, Mr. Kotter? You got a problem with me eating?"
"Epstein relax." Gabe paused, "I didn't mean to offend you. Bu you know you have. I'm not the only one who's noticed."
Epstein turned away, starting to feel ashamed. "Aw come on! Don't tell me everybody's been talking about me behind my back!"
"Relax. Nobody's talking about you. But we all have noticed. It's pretty hard not to." Gabe watched him for a second. "Listen, Juan, I feel like you might need somebody to talk to. It's clear that you're going through something heavy right now. Maybe you need some help getting the load off." He watched him some more to see his mood soften. "Listen, why don't you come home with me? I think it'll be good for you. You will be able to talk to me and Julie about whatever's bothering you."
Epstein hung his head as he stood there in silence. While watching him, Gabe could tell his wall was beginning to come down. Epstein thought for a second, cleared his throat and then spoke in a much calmer tone.
"Maybe you're right Mr. Kotter."
"So you'll come with me? I think you need it."
Epstein nodded. "Yeah. Yeah I'll go with you."
"Ok. I'll just let Julie know."
...
When they arrived at Gabe's apartment, Epstein headed straight for the couch and sat down. He didn't say a word to Julie when she greeted him. He was immediately withdrawn and could barely look at either of them whenever they said something to him. It had grown apparent that his wall had gone back up on the way there from the school. That was when Gabe quietly mentioned to Julie, Epstein had not said a word to him the whole way there.
Julie came over to the couch and sat next to him. She gently coaxed him to look at her as she spoke to him.
"Juan? Gabe and I can tell something's bothering you. We'd like to help you, but you'll have to talk to us. Give us something to work with."
"I don't know if I'm ready to talk yet, Mrs. Kotter." He said before looking away sadly.
"Well that's okay. But we are here for you."
Epstein nodded before keeping his head low. He remained quiet with little indication that he was going to start talking. After a few minutes, he sighed and attempted to talk, only to have words fail him.
Gabe approached Epstein calmly. He stood in front of the couch and then cleared his throat. "Listen, I'm just going to start talking to you. If I strike any chords with you, I apologize in advance." He looked at Epstein to make sure he had his full attention. "Epstein I think you know what this is about."
"Ok, well what's the problem?" Epstein grumbled.
"You've been eating in my class."
"Sorry Mr. Kotter I didn't know I wasn't allowed to be hungry." Epstein grunted before rolling his eyes.
"Of course you're allowed to be hungry. I mean I don't want you to be hungry. I normally don't have a problem with people eating in class. But Epstein, most people, when they eat in class, only have a small snack. They don't sit down like they're having Thanksgiving dinner."
Epstein's face reddened and he trembled a little. "So what of it?"
"Juan please don't get upset. I don't mean anything bad by it." Gabe said, getting Epstein to settle down. "But it is starting to become a problem."
"How? I'm just eating. Could be doing a lot worse."
"You're right. You're right, it could be something worse. But it's a distraction. Another thing, it's, well, I mean there are other issues. You just don't sit in class eating every day without some kind of problem."
Epstein, growing agitated, stood and started to protest Gabe's words. Julie calmed him and coaxed him to sit and listen.
"Juan, what Gabe is saying, well, we think you may be facing some kind of emotional problems that you're trying to hide from with food." Julie said, trying to remain sensitive. "Juan, is everything ok? Because we are here to talk to you about any problems you may be facing. Maybe we can help you face them."
Epstein sat quietly and kept his eyes off them as much as he could. A mixture of emotions, mostly humiliation, washed over him. He appeared to be trying hard to hide his embarrassment and not let the burring tears in his eyes fall. His thoughts raced. His stomach burned and his mouth was suddenly dry. He felt as though he had shrunk down to a couple inches tall. He swallowed hard, trying to win over the fight he was having against his tears. Slowly he started trying to speak but his words failed to leave him.
"Epstein it's ok. You can talk to us." Gabe encouraged.
"I can't." Epstein said quietly. He closed his eyes. "It's too embarrassing."
"Just… Just try, Juan. We are here to help you through this. We won't judge you." Julie said.
"You promise?"
"Yes, of course, Epstein." Gabe said "We are here for you, completely."
"No jokes?" He swallowed. "Please, I can't handle any jokes right now Mr. Kotter."
"Don't worry. I promise, not a single joke or impression. But please just talk to us. You can trust us."
Epstein sighed. He still couldn't look at them but he moved in closer to them. "The thing is… I… I don't even know what the problem is. I just… all I know is something's wrong. I know I haven't been myself lately, y'know." He sniffed. "All I can say is… well I have been eating… I mean I…" He sighed in frustration and rubbed his eyes, finally giving up the fight against the tears. "I guess… I guess eating is my way of hiding from it, y'know? I can't face it. So I keep eating to keep myself distracted. I need to distract myself so I don't feel… so I don't cry." He finished quietly. He leaned forward and covered his face with his hands. "If I'm not eating them I'm forced to think about it. Like right now."
Julie reached over and brought him into a hug. She softly rubbed his back as he cried quietly into her shoulder.
"Epstein I think you need to face your problem and try to figure out what it is. Because if you don't, then things are just going to get worse for you."
"I know." Epstein said as he pulled away from Julie. He wiped tears away. "I know, but I can't."
"Why can't you?" Julie asked.
"Because I'm scared. I never admit when I'm scared. But now…" he sat quietly for a few seconds, sniffing and trying to fight more tears. "I gotta. I gotta eat something." Panic began rising in him. "This is too much. I gotta eat. I need it."
"No, Juan." Julie said sternly. "You don't need to eat. Now please try to calm down. Just forget about food."
"I can't forget about it. It's the only thing that's going to calm me down, Mrs. Kotter." He took a deep breath. "I mean look at me. You've had to of noticed." He leaned back some and patted his small belly. "I've already gained fifteen pounds. So y'know I've been going through this a little while. I don't think I can stop right now."
"Ok but Epstein, you're going to have to face your problems." Gabe said.
Epstein shook his head and stood up. He shook a little and acted as though he was going to start pacing. "No. I'm sorry…. I…" he took a breath. "Mr. Kotter, Mrs. Kotter, thank you for wanting to help me." He rubbed his eyes. "You gave me thing to think about. But I'm… I'm just not ready yet. I need a little more time."
Gabe took hold of Epstein, placing his hands on his shoulders to steady him. It's ok, Epstein. You're scared. Getting through this is going to take time. But promise us something. When you know you are ready, please don't hesitate to come to us. We will try to help you through this the best that we can. Even if it's just to talk. Come to us right away."
Epstein nodded his head. "Ok Mr. Kotter. Ok you got my promise." He started heading for the door then stopped to turn towards them. "Thank you for trying to help. To be honest, I know I needed to talk to someone. I just feel bad that I didn't know anything I needed to say. But uh, y'know I've got things to sort through first."
"We understand, Juan." Julie said. "Remember we are both here for you. Day or night."
Epstein nodded. "Thank you. I promise I'll get in touch as soon as I'm ready. I won't let you down." He said his goodbyes to them and then headed out the door.
Once Epstein left, Gabe and Julie looked at each other. Neither of them had to say anything because their thoughts were understood. They knew that Epstein would have to hit his breaking point before seeking help. They only hoped that it wouldn't take long, and that he wouldn't get much worse.