Holy crap-a-doodle! Another one-shot written by EA-Insanity?! That nutcase of a girl?! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! Grab your pitchforks and torches and burn her house down!
Just kidding. This one-shot, A Gentleanimal's Duel is a parody (yes, you heard me right) of A Gentlemen's Duel, a freakin' hilarious cartoon short I found on Gaia Online's Cinemas. Yeah, Gaia. I'm a user. My username on there, huh? Take a wild guess.
If you're not a member of Gaia and want to see this short, try your luck on YouTube, Putfile, Dailymotion, or Veoh Video Network, all video-hosting places on this crazy Internet.
Copyrights so rich people with good lawyers won't sue my pants off:
Knuckles the Echidna, Shadow the Hedgehog, Rouge the Bat, and Chao (the animals) © Sega
Mr. Blik and Waffle's pet newts © Nickelodeon and Doug TenNapel
The original cartoon short © Blur Studios
I'm sorry is this cast doesn't seem very "Cartoon Crossover"-like…but then again, the cartoon and story is very short, so it's not going to matter…
Read now if you please. Need a persuasive argument if you don't want to? RAGGLE FRAGGLE!
Cartoon Crossover Section Presents appears in a fancy white cursive handwriting in the sky.
At first, we see Gomez and Mindy, two of Waffle the Cat's pet newts lying down on two rocks that stick out of a small lovely pond in a grand green forest, and both happen to notice a scarlet and black butterfly fly by. Since the two newts watched fat, short green frogs eat numerous other bugs earlier, they wanted to mimic them by eating the butterfly. Then at the same time, both newts stretched their tongues for the butterfly, only for their tongues to get stuck together, and when they tried to reach out for their dinner, they bumped their heads together, and both fell into the water. The butterfly managed to escape quickly away form the pond.
Then a fancy-looking logo appeared:
A Gentleanimal's Duel
No too far after that, we followed the butterfly going towards the hills and towards a Victorian mansion. On the mansion's balcony stood a white-and-tan bat. She had sky-blue eye shadow on, and had teal green eyes. She was wearing a typical fancy turquoise blue dress that showed off her big breasts, and had matching gloves and high heel shoes, along with velvety black wings on her back. This was Rouge the Bat, an eighteen-year-old jewel hunter. She giggled with a small smile as it passed her. I wonder if I can find a butterfly brooch somewhere, she thought. When she heard footsteps, she spun around to see a red echidna wearing a fancy orange coat with a white shirt and black tie, white gloves, brown pants, black boots, and a black top hat. He was also holding a small bouquet of a red rose. The echidna stopped for a moment to rudely put his top hat over the butler's face. This butler was Mr. Blik, a black cat with yellow eyes. He was wearing a typical butler uniform. He muttered to himself, "They don't pay me enough for this job…" and lucky for him no one paid attention. He simply put the hat on the ground.
"Ah, my lady," Knuckles said suavely, holding up Rouge's hand, which made her lightly blush, "your grace is only matched by your boobies-erm, I mean beauty." He then kissed Rouge's hand. Then more foot steps came along as someone else came along, causing the two to look.
"How appropriate," a low voice that belong to a black-and-red hedgehog that was wearing a red-and-blue French coat with numerous decorations on it, white gloves, white pants and black boots. He was holding a large bouquet of red roses, and a Dark Chao floating above him. "A dull little flower from a dull little man!" He handed Mr. Blik the large bouquet, and his brown top hat.
Rouge only looked on with interest while Knuckles said, "Oh, look, it's the Ultimate Lifeform!"
"Come now, Sir Knuckles," Shadow said as he walked over to the table and pulled out a chair for Rouge, "let us not be childish. Come, my lady, join me."
Rouge sighed dreamily and said, "Thank you!" and walked over to her chair and sat down, while Knuckles rolled his eyes in his head. Shadow chuckled in a sinister way and looked at Knuckles with a smirk. He gasped, and yanked a covered plate of food away from the butler.
"Allow me," Knuckles said, holding the dish in Rogue's face.
"No, allow me," Shadow said, pulling the dish towards him, also holding it in Rouge's face.
"I insist," Knuckles said, taking the dish away from the hedgehog.
"No, I insist," the Ultimate Lifeform said, yanking the dish away from the red echidna, like before.
"I insist you that you desist!" Knuckles yelled.
Now a tug-of-war with the food plate was going on.
Before Shadow could reply, they accidentally opened the food plate, with contained bacon and hard-boiled eggs. The food landed on Rouge's dress, and Knuckles unintentionally hit her in the head with the plate. Rouge was now very dizzy. Mr. Blik took notice and straightened her position on the chair.
"Rouge invited me for tea, so I bid you adieu!" Knuckles yelled.
"This is afternoon café," Shadow said, "which can begin as so as you leave!"
Knuckles snapped back, "Tea!" To which Shadow snapped back, "Café!" And this went on until both slammed the tea kettles onto the table, which made Rouge gasp.
"I bet the lady would prefer a sip of France's finest champagne," Shadow said calmly, holding up a bottle of the drink.
"Oh, of course, alcohol," Knuckles said, "the French recipe for romance!" He grabbed the bottle, and the cork flew up in the air, hitting a potted plant. A few pieces of soil fell on Rouge's head.
"What would you know about love?" Shadow asked.
"Your mother can answer that!" Knuckles yelled.
"What a jerk you are!" Shadow yelled.
The plant finally fell down, crashing on Rouge's head, making her dizzy once more.
"Stow a crumpet down your teahole!" the hedgehog added, holding a plate of said pastry in Knuckles' face. In anger, he threw the plate on the bat's face, causing two frosted pastries to get stuck in Rogue's eye, while a pasty was shoved in her mouth. Before she can kick both men out of her home, Knuckles by mistake elbowed her, hitting her in the chest and making her fall off the chair in a dead faint. He then pulled off one of his gloves and slapped Shadow with it. The hedgehog noticed a red mark on his cheek, which went away after two seconds.
"So," he replied at last, petting his female Dark Chao, Hellbringer, "you wish to meet on the Field of Honor, Sir Knuckles?"
"Yes," the red echidna said, "a duel. A gentleanimal's duel!"
Both gave each a glare.
ONE HOUR LATER…
Knuckles, Shadow, Rouge, Mr. Blik and Hellbringer met on the Field of Honor, a large pasture just near the mansion. Rouge wore a red version of her turquoise dress from earlier, with red gloves and high heel shoes, standing far away from the men, who were all out father on the field. I wonder who will win…she thought, looking out onto the horizon, fanning herself.
Blik was holding a fancy box, which contained two wrenches. Shadow took one as well as Knuckles, and both walked off into opposite sides of the woods. Blik walked back to Rouge, setting the box down by his feet.
Shadow, who was walking to the right, looked at Knuckles, and made a sound of disgust. Knuckles replied with an "Hhpmh!" and walked to the left patch of trees.
Two minutes later, seven faint thumping noises were heard, shaking the ground. The shaking caused Rogue's breasts to shake, while Mr. Blik looked around for the source of the noise.
Soon enough, two robots came along. The one on the left was a shiny gray, while the one on the right was white and gold.
"You will trouble the lady no more, scoundrel!" Knuckles yelled, lifting up the hood of his robot and shaking his fist.
"You'll be the one who will no longer pollute her air with your presence!!" Shadow snapped back. Hellbringer made insulting gestures, and Shadow chuckled. "Hellbringer said she can smell your fear…in your pants."
Knuckles gasped and entered his robot. "You and your crotch-sniffing lackey will pay!" He revved up his robot, preparing for battle. Shadow did the same thing. The two robots began to punch, sending Knuckles' robot flying, crashing into statues. Blink shielded Rouge from the debris of the statues with her umbrella. She smiled as she fanned herself.
"How about an age of flying up your ass?!" Knuckles yelled, throwing states of flying cherubs towards Shadow's robot. Shadow's robot ducked, and only one statue got stuck, and it impaled itself near Shadow's head in the robot, and Shadow yelled. His robot pulled out the statue, while Knuckles just laughed and aimed himself towards Shadow.
The two fought and aimed insults at each other. When Knuckles' robot backed off and Shadow ran towards him, Knuckles grabbed Shadow and spun him around. Knuckles let go and sent Shadow hurdling into the mansion. Mr. Blik kept Rouge's head ducked the whole time. When Shadow's robot got up, and aimed a punch towards Knuckles, who screamed. But for some reason, the robots stopped moving. What the hell?!
Yes, Mr. Blik rang the bell for lunch, which had a pretty peaceful conversation between Rouge, Knuckles and Shadow. Soon enough, both men returned to their robots, and continued to fight. Knuckles' robot tossed Shadow's into a fountain, to which Mr. Blik moved Rouge out of the way. At one point, Shadow's robot hit Knuckles', and Knuckles used the chain from them extended punch to give Shadow and Hellbringer an electric shock. They got hit by it, and both yelled in pain.
After that Shadow said to Hellbringer, "Of course, Hellbringer, this means war."
The two robots began to clank and break down, while Mr. Blik and Rouge watched. They both ran towards each other in a grand body slam. Rouge screamed and held Mr. Blik tightly, literally shoving his face into her breasts.
Soon after, both robots exploded, in front of the mansion, making a fiery mushroom cloud. Both men escaped their robots, both injured badly.
"Hellbringer…we'll never surrender…" Shadow said weakly, and then fainted. His head hit an "eject Chao" button, sending Hellbringer flying out of the robot. Knuckles escaped just as the Dark Chao attacked! He screamed as she knocked him out. After, Hellbringer urinated on his clothes.
Later, the two weak mean crawled over to the middle of the Field of Honor. They were about to attack each other when Hellbringer found a high heel shoe under the debris. Rouge's high heel! Both gasped and stared at each other. They muttered words to themselves.
"Uh…you know…" Shadow began, but Chaos Controlled himself and Hellbringer out of the field. Knuckles stared at the wreckage for a minute, before leaving the area running.
Well, where's Rouge and Mr. Blik? And…what, is that? Rogue's dress and gloves on the ground near a bush? So are Mr. Blik's clothes! Turns out the two were making love behind the bushes. Mr. Blik gasped for air after a second, only to see a random neutral Chao from the woods watching. He tossed one of his boots at its head, making it run off. Rouge popped up as well, and said, "C'mon, Blik…we aren't done yet!" He shrugged and they returned to their…um…date.
THE END!
Well, at least you know why I rated it T! Did I add that making love bit? And the "age of flying up your ass" bit? Or the thing about crotch sniffing just to get the T rating? No; those were parts of the original cartoon!
I guess you can say that the story is a bit of a humorous poke to Knuckles/Rouge and Shadow/Rouge fans. (shrug) It's your call. This story wasn't meant to offend them. So if you support K/R or S/R and feel offended…it wasn't intentional.
Also, I deleted/changed/made some lines from the original so people wouldn't complain saying like "Ohh you didn't do crap to the dialouge! BLAH!1 :("
Bye now.