Dean was having a fairly normal day. He killed a witch, made love to his angel boyfriend, and threatened to kick a certain candy loving trickster ass for touching his baby. But now he gets to deal with the archangel Michael standing in his motel room asking him what sex is.
"You want to run that by me again?" Dean asks shocked that Michael asking him this of all things.
Michael sighs, "what is sex, well what does it mean to you humans? I always saw it as simply reproduction and the joining of mates but I don't know what meaning it have to you."
Dean doesn't see why Michael has to be asking him this, "fine sex is great simple as that you do it to relieve stress or just for fun." Well that's mainly why he does it.
Michael frowns, "oh I didn't realize this, Dean may I ask you ask you something else?"
Dean rolls his eyes, "sure I can't see how you could make this anymore awkward."
"How do you perform anal intercourse you know between males," Michael asks like he was asking what time it was.
Dean glad he isn't drinking anything at that moment otherwise he would have ended up spitting it out or choking on it probably the latter, "uh well you uh you know the best way to answer this is through experience but not with me."
Michael nods, "very well thank you Dean."
Dean watching Michael continue to just stand there awkwardly, "just ask the question already."
"I don't wish to make you uncomfortable."
Than you shouldn't have even come to me in the first place for these questions Dean thinks, "I doubt you can make this situation any worse for me."
"Alright what is a blowjob?" Michael asks.
Apparently Dean was wrong, very wrong, "why are you even asking me this? Since when do you care so much about knowing what sex is all about?!"
Michael sighs, "I'm asking you because there is someone I wish to prefrom intercourse with and you're the only person I can seek for assistance. Gabriel isn't exactly helpful and you have the most experience it seems."
"True but why do you seriously want to know what a blowjob is?" Dean asks curious.
"Oh well you see I overheard you and Castiel talking about them and he seemed to have enjoyed them a lot judging by the noises Castiel was making despite being in a different room. Sam is threatening to make you two sleep in your beloved car because of the noise. Also I wish to please my mate in every way possible," Michael informs him.
"Fine if you really must now a blowjob is when you uh basically it's when you put another guys um dick in your mouth. There does that satisfy your curiosity or do you expect me to answer more of your questions?!"
"No that is all, thank you Dean," Michael replies.
"Yeah whatever just don't come asking me anymore questions like that ever again," Dean says officially done with Michael questions.
Michael nods, "very well Dean." Flies out of the room.
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Dean skillfully opened the motel room door while carefully balancing a case of beer and two bags of take-out. But the sight that meets him makes him drop the food, "what the fuck is going on in here?!"
Michael stopping his...ugh Dean doesn't even want to think about it. Adam's blushing hard as Michael pulls a blanket over them.
"And on my bed?!" Dean shouts, he can't believe this. Okay he knew Adam and Michael had the hots for each other but at the rate they were going they weren't going to make a move on each other for months at least. So yeah he is surprised to find Michael fucking Adam on his bed when both of them were supposed to be out researching for a hunt.
Michael seems completely unfazed by Dean presence, "Dean you told me that sex was a great way to relieve stress and Adam had been stressed a lot lately and you said it's fun and I want to make Adam happy so I offered to sleep with him and he agreed. Plus you said the best way for me to learn more about sex was through experience."
Dean's eyes widen if he had know Michael was asking about sex to sleep with Adam he wouldn't have told him anything except maybe to never have it.
"Now Dean if you please leave I like to claim Adam as my mate now as long as he wishes for me too that is," Michael says.
"Yes please, god Michael I need you," Adam begs and with that Dean is out the door. He will worry about Michael and Adam when they aren't busy deflowering each other and preferably dressed.