Pa? He was a drunk.
I never believed him when he said that he came straight home after dropping off Uncle Frodo with the elves. I know he told my mother that, and put it in that damn Red Book so she wouldn't throw a plate at him (or worse -- Ma had been a barmaid before she married Sam) but everyone else in the Shire knew it was crap.
Smelled worse than an orc-bog, I tell you.
Pa's lungs started to harden up in his 85th year: couldn't breathe worth a damn -- he rattled and squeaked like an old cart wheel, and he could barely speak above a whisper. We always figured it was from that time he spent in Moria with Frodo. Once he knew he was dying, he started writing things in his "other" book.
Things about that summer after he dropped of Uncle Frodo and before he came home and became Samwise Gamgee, beloved Sherriff, husband, and father.
Stories of ale and longbottom leaf.
And women. All sorts of women.
This is the story of how three halflings cashed in on their good looks, charm, and infamy to travel through Middle Earth living off of the gratitude and hospitality of the grateful people of Middle Earth.
That and a lot of ale and longbottom leaf.
My ma's long dead now, and my sisters are all married, with children of their own. I can tell my father's story now.
The Tale of Elvish Parsley.
I never believed him when he said that he came straight home after dropping off Uncle Frodo with the elves. I know he told my mother that, and put it in that damn Red Book so she wouldn't throw a plate at him (or worse -- Ma had been a barmaid before she married Sam) but everyone else in the Shire knew it was crap.
Smelled worse than an orc-bog, I tell you.
Pa's lungs started to harden up in his 85th year: couldn't breathe worth a damn -- he rattled and squeaked like an old cart wheel, and he could barely speak above a whisper. We always figured it was from that time he spent in Moria with Frodo. Once he knew he was dying, he started writing things in his "other" book.
Things about that summer after he dropped of Uncle Frodo and before he came home and became Samwise Gamgee, beloved Sherriff, husband, and father.
Stories of ale and longbottom leaf.
And women. All sorts of women.
This is the story of how three halflings cashed in on their good looks, charm, and infamy to travel through Middle Earth living off of the gratitude and hospitality of the grateful people of Middle Earth.
That and a lot of ale and longbottom leaf.
My ma's long dead now, and my sisters are all married, with children of their own. I can tell my father's story now.
The Tale of Elvish Parsley.