Title: Life no more, death ever after

Fandom: Hetalia

Rating: T, will probably be changed later

Pairing: PruHun as for now

Warnings: Uhm, zombies, blood, gore, some Swedish grammar imported into the text by mistake.

Summary: Gilbert had played enough left for dead to know where this was going. The world was about to crash and burn around them but who wants to believe it when the day is so beautiful? Hetalia human AU with zombies, Pruhun.

Word count: 2370

Gilbert knew that the day that everything went to hell it had been as a sunny afternoon in July. He had been naughty and made Elizaveta call in sick so they could go to their favourite picnic place and enjoy the summer and all around them had stretched what seemed like endless plains of green grass curving around small hills, yellow flowers scattered all around. Gilbert remembered thinking that they looked like little suns that smiled up at the bright blue sky. Some weeks later he would remember those flowers and regret not saying that out loud for Elizaveta to hear, no matter how much she would have teased him about it. Perhaps it would have made things easier for both of them later on.

"Come on", Gilbert whined, tugging at the sleeve of Elizaveta's suit. "If you just call in sick today we can go on that picnic, no one will ever have to know." His girlfriend shook her head and adjusted a small clip in her unruly brown hair, keeping her voice firm even though a small smile played on her glossed lips. "Gilbert you know that I can't stay home just because you feel like it. Someone has to work and with you being without job -" "You don't have to remind me", Gilbert interrupted with a sigh. Why wouldn't his perfect charm work today? All he wanted was a picnic and maybe some sex later. Was that too much to ask for? Elizaveta spent nearly every week working for that shitty company and when she came home she was always in a terrible mood. When Elizaveta was upset they fought, and the silver-haired German hated fighting with her.

"Gilbert." The brunette put her bag of cosmetics down on the edge of the sink and turned around, sneaking her arms around his waist. As always he was cool to touch, his ridiculously pale skin seemingly unaffected by the summer warmth. "You are a lost cause, I hope you are aware of this." Truth being told, they had no time for doing dumb things like going out even if Elizaveta wanted to with all her heart. Their apartment was a complete mess with clothes and not yet unpacked boxes everywhere, the sink in the small kitchen was broken again and as much as she loved her dumb boyfriend it was hard to not scream herself hoarse at him when she returned to a complete mess and he just sat there with his Xbox and waited for food. She knew that he loved her back, but love did not pay off the bills that kept coming, love wouldn't save her job if her boss decided to fire her.

Life had been hard lately; with the economic crash came debts and to be able to pay off the most urgent ones they had to take a loan which in turn brought more debts and in all that ruckus Elizaveta's last remaining family passed away. She cried herself to sleep an entire week while Gilbert helplessly tried to take care of himself - something he was very bad at - before she got herself together and started functioning again. When she woke up that Friday morning after she decided the night before that now she had to be fine, Gilbert had for once cleaned up and when she dragged herself out to the kitchen she faced the biggest and the ugliest cake she had ever seen. There he had been standing, looking as proud as a mother showing off her newborn baby, a hopeful smile on his lips. "I know it's nothing like your dad's cakes but I tried my best with the recipe I found. I think he'd like it, don't you? It's pretty awesome." Choked up Elizaveta had thrown her arms around his neck and kissed him so hard he stumbled back and fell onto the table, smashing the cake to pieces. That afternoon was spent laughing together as she attempted to eat the cake from his body while he squirmed around, ticklish as few.

"You know you love me anyway." Well. No one could deny that, Elizaveta thought, smiling wider. "Will you at least try to clean the kitchen when we come back home if I go with you?" A solemn promise was made before Gilbert allowed himself to grin and lift her up in the air as if she weighed next to nothing. If their bathroom hadn't been so small he would have spun her around once, too. "I always win," he laughed. "Put me down so I can go change you stupid oaf." Elizaveta swatted at his face, not much heat behind her words. Maybe she needed this as much as he did. Without much further delay Elizaveta changed and packed the beautifully handcrafted basket Roderich had given her as a birthday gift full of snacks and a couple of beers. Not so romantic maybe, but it worked for the both of them. With a sly smile she put in a tub of mustard and a jar of pickles as well.

"LIZ HURRY UP." As always when Gilbert was worked up or excited his voice took on a shrill tone, something that he would never admit. "I'm coming!" Gilbert snorted to himself and ducked just when a spoon came flying, aimed at his head. "Not everything has to be a sexual innuendo." Elizaveta stated, glaring at him. "I know that." the albino replied but despite his words he thrust his hips forward with a suggestive grin and a faint blush.

They went outside and the heat that hit them was scorching, the rays of sun hammering down on them like boiling water. Even though Gilbert protested wildly Elizaveta shoved an ugly hat down on his head to protect him some at least until they could get some sun-block on that pale skin. "I look like a big baby in this." he moaned while walking towards their secret picnic spot, taking the basket from her.

"Great, then you look like yourself at least."

"Liz..."

"No whining."

"Liz -"

"Just keep the dumb hat on your head, Gil, you're practically albino."

That shut him up long enough for her to steal a kiss and the rest of their walk was silent, the odd drowsiness caused by too much warmth coming over them both. Pretty soon the special hill was in sight, the soft grass atop it green and healthy still even though the summer drew towards its end. Gilbert plopped down on the grass and sighed happily, starting to roam around in the basket.

When Gilbert popped open a tube of strong mustard and grabbed a can of pickles Elizaveta tried her best to hide a smile. Gilbert managed to see anyway and he grumbled something before turning away, squirting mustard over one of the pickles. The story behind this awful snack was a pretty cute one and if Elizaveta had not promised to shut up about it she would have told everyone she knew. It went a little something like this: one night while up playing Call of Duty and watching videos of cats on youtube, Gilbert had gotten completely wasted and so he called up his friend Alfred over skype. So far, so good. The German had then proceeded to drunkenly blurt out that if he died before Alfred in-game he would eat the grossest things on earth he knew together.

Of course his loud American friend had accepted this bet quickly and Gilbert had then picked up the game again only to press the wrong button and walk off a cliff. Great. Alfred laughed so much he nearly choked and Gilbert, not understanding where he had gone wrong, had to go fetch pickles and mustard. After making a rather big deal out of it - gagging and wrinkling his nose - Gilbert dipped the pickle in mustard and put it in his mouth.

Somewhere the signals between brain and Gilbert went wrong because he loved it. He sat in his dumb chick-pattern boxers with a tie around his head and cackled like a maniac before promptly passing out, mustard smeared across his cheek. Alfred just shook his head and shut down his laptop. Ever since that pickles and mustard had been a tradition to eat whenever Gilbert was feeling really awesome which unfortunately was always.

Today Elizaveta could forgive him though. Outside the sun shone and it was one of those perfect summer days where you could smell the earth and grass, the sky stretching azure and wide over their heads, not a cloud in sight. "What are you thinking about, baby?" Gilbert's voice interrupted the comfortable silence. He was licking the mustard off of his fingers which was a pretty gross sight and so Elizaveta told him that. "You love me anyway." he replied with a grin, laying down on the grass. Blankets are for losers. "That's what you always say." Elizaveta said and slapped his stomach. "How can you be so sure? If you say it's because you're 'awesome' then you need to reevaluate your life-choices."

When he didn't reply she figured that 'because I'm awesome' was exactly what he was about to say so she started to laugh. "You are the biggest idiot I have ever met, Gil! Seriously!" He pulled her down on top of him, not pouting at all. "Shut up." That only made her laugh harder and she continued doing so until he flipped them around and pinned her down against the grass, kissing her hard. "Mhhm..."

The evenings when they had screamed at each other loud enough to alert neighbours, the mornings when they woke up in different ends of town, the nights where they refused to talk to each other, none of that mattered when they kissed. There was such a wonderful familiarity in the way their lips brushed together briefly before they actually kissed, the warm pressure of mouths sliding together. Elizaveta moaned and Gilbert's lips quirked up in a half-smile as he moved his hands into her hair.

A groan that belonged to neither of them was what made them pull apart and Gilbert was just about to turn around and tell the pervert to piss off before he personally made him go away when Elizaveta shrieked. She shoved him aside and stood up, voice shaky. "Oh my God, are you alright?!" When Gilbert looked over his shoulder he saw not a middle-aged man as he had expected, but a young girl. The girl was holding a hand over her neck, skin pale and ashy grey. That wasn't why Elizaveta had screamed though, because when he looked closer he saw that shockingly red blood was trickling down between the girl's fingers and her mouth was hanging open, eyes glazed over.

Shit.

"Are you alright?" Elizaveta repeated, cautiously drawing closer. "You look like you're bleeding..." The strangest urge to laugh came over Gilbert. Look like! She should have been dead by now, if not unconscious - that thought sobered him up instantly and instead of offering his help he crawled backwards on the grass, reaching for his stupid jar of pickles. Later he would remember how the girl had looked when it shattered against her skull, the sickening crack of bone breaking, the absence of a pained scream. She was a beautiful teenage girl who couldn't have been more than perhaps sixteen, seventeen. She probably still crawled into her mother's bed when she's had a nightmare, Gilbert thought absently as he grabbed Elizaveta's arm in a firm grip, dragging her after him as he ran.

"Gilbert! GILBERT! What the HELL are you thinking?!" The soles of their feet thudded against the grass and now Gilbert did laugh because this was absurd. The sun was still shining, birds where chirping in their little trees and he had just potentially killed a teenage girl with a jar of pickles. He threw his head back and laughed hysterically, dropping his girlfrend's hand and drawing to a stop. "Gilbert, stop, please, it's not funny, we have to go see if she's alright..." Elizaveta's eyes flickered back to the spot where they had been peacefully kissing moments ago and to her surprise she saw the girl crawling up on all four. A shiver crept down her spine when she saw the figure turning towards them, starting to crawl. "Gilbo, darling..." He had fallen down in the grass and was still very much laughing, hands clutched over his stomach. As always when upset in some way he choked out things in proper German, not the Austrian German that Elizaveta knew.

Elizaveta was shit at Gilbert's language. She always felt so helpless when he tried talking to her and she couldn't respond so she knelt down and slapped him. Judging by his startled reaction and the sudden silence it seemed to work and she did her best to smile sweetly at the man in front of her. "Tell me why you threw a jar of pickles at that girl's head and ran. It's not funny. You could have severely hurt her!" After a few wheezing breaths and a short bout of giggles Gilbert managed to reply, "zombies, Liz. She's a zombie I played enough left for dead to see where this is going."

"That is the shittiest excuse ever. There are no zombies you dumb -"

"Are too. You saw how she looked, she should have been dead!"

"Well, she isn't. Be glad you didn't kill her."

"You mean she isn't dead?!"

She turned around to check that the girl was indeed alive and well. At first everything looked the same as it had before she slapped Gilbert out of his hysteric fit, then Elizaveta saw something she wished she would never ever see again. The young girl was on all fours still but she had somehow, in the short time she had been out of sight, managed to catch a rabbit that she was now digging her teeth into. Elizaveta's stomach heaved and she doubled over to throw up on the ground. Gilbert's voice rose in panic behind her as he scrambled to get back up on his feet. "Oh hell no." she heard him say. "Oh hell to the no."

Then the girl lifted her head and snarled.

Author's note:

Oh seven heavens upon this sweet earth I just can't make my writing work or flow the way I want it to. I've rewritten each sentence at least two times and I still can't make it right. Constructive criticism is always very welcome but remember that I am not a native English speaker, I'm a scared little Swede who use commas way too much. I also know that I need to work on dialogue but how? (ノД`)・゜・。

Ugh anyway here is the first chapter of what will (hopefully) become a few more. I got the idea when I talked to my darling Johanna and since we're both big fans of Hetalia and the Walking Dead I thought hey! Why not combine them? Zombietalia sounded awesome but when I looked for fanfics/art on the subject I found very little and I figured I had to make my own. My first completed writing in almost a year, dfghvjbknlm