A/N: This one contains mentions of self-harm you have being warned! I do not own the Worst Witch or the characters
Less Than Perfect
Ethel Hallow was lying on her bed really upset as her day had once again not gone to plan. Ethel had studied for days for her second year potions exam wanting to pass with flying colours and when she had gotten her paper back and it said ninety nine percent the girl was so happy, no-one else in her class had even come close to that grade, she was happy that is until Miss Hardbroom had made a point of mentioning Esmerelda had got one hundred percent on the test and her happiness had evaporated as soon as it had come, her grade was not good enough, her amazing perfect sister had beat her again.
Ethel was absent-mindedly stroking Nightstar when she heard her door open slightly and her sister saying "Ethie" and Ethel sighed not wanting to talk to her right now.
"Go away" Ethel rudely replied as she stroked her cat but her sister did not go she heard her open the door more and then the door close as she walked in. Ethel was not in the mood right now so sat up and looked at her.
"Esmie can you go please, I have to study" Ethel told her sister as she picked up her potions book and opened it to the invisibility potion page and began to read the book as her sister sat on the bed facing her and distracting her.
"Esmie leave!" Ethel said a bit more harshly than she meant to "Some of us have to study, we don't all have the ability of not studying and passing everything perfectly" Ethel told her sister annoyed she was distracting her.
"I want to talk to you about something, you can stop studying for a second" Esmerelda told her sister knowing not studying for a few minutes was not going to make Ethel fail a exam. Ethel closed the book but did not look at her sister when she started to talk.
"I heard what happened, HB should not have said that" Esmerelda told Ethel upset the woman had pretended Ethel's amazing grade was not even to be acknowledged.
"Oh why not, don't pretend you don't like it when they compare us, as long as you are the one on top you are happy, you can't even stand the thought of me beating you, that is why you don't want me to study" Ethel replied rudely.
"Of course not" Esmerelda replied with a sigh.
"Tell me Esmie how does it feel to be absolutely perfect at everything?" Ethel asked her sister bitterly.
"Ethie I keep telling you over and over I am not perfect" Esmerelda replied growing annoyed herself at hearing this conversation again, Ethel was literally obsessed with it.
"Oh really? Perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect grades, perfect personality, friends with everyone, teachers go to student, all sounds pretty much perfect to me Esmie" Ethel replied listing of everything that made the girl perfect.
Esmerelda did not reply for a second and sat there thinking what she was going to say to convince Ethel she was not perfect, she hated that stupid word.
"See you can't even think of a way to respond to that because you know it is the truth, I know why don't I make clones of you, we can have the world taken over by Esmerelda Hallow, a perfect world for perfect people who are perfect at everything because no-one wants a clone of her less intelligent, badly behaved little sister when they can have the perfect eldest girl" Ethel carried on going on and on.
"Ethie" Esmerelda tried to interrupt wanting to stop Ethel going on about how perfect she was, she got enough of it from the teachers and her parents she didn't need it from Ethel too, Ethel ignored her.
"Hey we should write a new chant for you, perfect Esmerelda, she is perfect" Ethel sang as she went on with her stupid rant. Esmerelda though had had enough of her sister putting herself down and calling her perfect when she was not perfect.
"Do you want me to show you how perfect I am?" Esmerelda asked quietly totally taking Ethel of guard with her question, the younger girl stopped talking and just looked at her confused before speaking.
"Show me? What do you mean?" Ethel asked not having a clue what the elder blonde was talking about.
Esmerelda did not want it to come to this, she wanted to keep this secret of hers to herself but there was no other way that Ethel would ever believe that she was not perfect and there other thing is Esmerelda did not want to keep it from her sister but she was not sure how to go around bringing the subject up but now was the perfect time.
Esmerelda sighed and glanced at Ethel's door before she cast a spell locking it, if someone discovered her secret it would be around the school within the hour. Once she was satisfied they were alone she looked at Ethel before unbuttoning the button on her left school sleeve.
"What are you doing?" Ethel asked not sure what she was going to show her. Had she got a tattoo or something?
Esmie did not reply but worked on rolling up her sleeve flinching slightly as she did so something Ethel definitely did not miss.
"What is wrong?" Ethel asked seeing her flinching.
"You have to promise not to tell anyone about this" Esmerelda said looking at her sister seriously.
"About what? You are scaring me now" Ethel told her sister.
"Just promise or I won't show you" Esmerelda replied looking in Ethel's eyes needing to see that she was being truthful. Ethel nodded and the thing about Ethel was her eyes gave away her true feelings, Esmerelda normally looked in the girls eyes and saw a completely different emotion from what her face was expressing, right now the girl saw trust and that was made her decide to show her.
Esmerelda pulled her sleeve up to her forearm and then gently put her arm out to show Ethel who tired her best but she could not help gasping at the sight.
The eldest girl's arm was covered in cuts, some were white clearly quite old but others were very red and looked fresh, the way the cuts were arranged were to perfect so Ethel knew her sister had caused them intentionally. Esmerelda looked around her sisters room not wanting to see her sisters reaction to her secret.
"Why...?" Ethel asked saying the only word she could choke out as she stared at the cuts in horror.
Esmerelda looked at her sister and was broken-hearted to see her looking so upset by what she was seeing but she knew she had to tell Ethel the truth.
"Because believe it not it is not easy being me, do you know how much pressure everyone puts on me? They give me no choice but to be perfect in everything I do, as the eldest the code outlines things the elder child receives and responsibilities they have, you think I am perfect and maybe in ways I am but it comes with a price, I don't do anything but study, I don't know how to have fun or relax,I don't get a normal teenage life,my life consists of studying, I don't have friends, yes I talk to people but I don't have anyone I go around with, I like being on my own but sometimes it would be nice to have someone there" Esmerelda replied explaining to her sister.
"Cutting myself is something I am in control of for a change, not what someone else is forcing me to be" Esmerelda replied explaining why she did it, she might act tough but the pressure sometimes was way to much for the girl.
A tear fell out of Ethel's eyes as she listened to her sister in a way feeling this was her fault, she hadn't realised Esmerelda felt so pressured by everyone and her being so nasty to her sister did not help.
"I am sorry for being so horrible to you" Ethel said crying more really upset about what she had discovered.
"I am sorry for not telling you...I have been doing it for years" Esmerelda admitted which shocked Ethel even more.
"Why did you never tell me?" Ethel asked letting the tears fall without drying them.
"I didn't know how to approach it...plus I did not want to upset you" Esmerelda told her sister honestly "But honestly it got me through the first and second year of school" Esmerelda told Ethel seriously.
"I don't like you hurting yourself...it is dangerous and I don't want you to leave me" Ethel told her sister as she cried more openly scared of losing Esmie as she knew it could end in really bad injuries what her sister was doing.
"You won't, I am not stupid enough to cause a really bad injury" Esmerelda told Ethel as she had figured out spells that only did it lightly so that she would not end up hospitalised.
"You know I live for you and Sybil" Esmerelda told her sister with a fond smile knowing without her sisters she would be in a way worse state "And I don't want you to be like me, you are a child you need to have fun" Esmerelda told Ethel glad the girl was not like her "And I do have bad flaws you know, I trust people way to much and I get walked over as I am to nice to people" Esmerelda told Ethel seriously.
Without words Ethel moved to wrap her arm around her sister and lean her head on her hugging her as Esmerelda stroked her hair and Ethel took her free arm which was still uncovered and touched the scars gently causing Esmie to hiss out.
"Do they hurt?" Ethel asked stupidly as her sister had just hissed in pain.
"Not to bad" Esmerelda replied to Ethel. "But as you can see now, I am not perfect at all" Esmerelda told Ethel needing her to understand.
"I can help you stop" Ethel told Esmie not wanting her to feel like she had to hurt herself anymore.
"Thank you, I have been trying but I have being doing it for so long it is difficult" Esmerelda admitted, last year the girl had realised she really needed to break the habit but it was hard for her.
"I will help you, you can come and rant at me" Ethel told Esmie as the girl looked at her with a look of pure love but then laughed as it was normally Ethel who ranted at her.
"And you are wrong you know" Ethel told her remembering something else she wanted to say.
"About what?" Esmerelda asked confused.
"I am your friend, when we were younger we were best friends...I miss it" Ethel admitted remembering how amazing their younger years had been. Ethel knew they were not as close because of her, she was the one who started pushing Esmie away but she really did miss their time together.
"Me too" Esmerelda admitted "Can we try and be friends instead of enemies again, like old times?" Esmerelda asked fed up of fighting with Ethel she just wanted them to be close again.
Ethel nodded and the two girls stayed hugging, Esmerelda would take a long time to get over her bad habit but with Ethel as her friend she knew she could do it and she hoped Ethel now realised she was not perfect.
"Come here" Esmie said giving Ethel a bone crushing hug.
"Oww I do have ribs you know and I would like to keep them unbroken" Ethel told her sister rubbing her chest dramatically.
Esmerelda laughed but kept her arm around her "Oh and by the way if you must know I have messed up pretty badly before, for one thing when we were making the invisibility potion in my first year I did it successfully but then I knocked the rest of the potion over HB" Esmerelda told Ethel who looked at her with eyes full of amazement.
"And if you must know when I was mirroring you and Sybs once after I hanged up I was practising a spell that hanged up that I had not tried before and all I managed to do was knock the mirror of the wall" Esmerelda told Ethel who listened amazed but she was telling the truth she could tell when her sister was being truthful.
"That is why we have such bad luck" Ethel replied. Esmerelda laughed at the comment.
"The mirror didn't smash but I did leave before anyone noticed" Esmerelda told her sister admitting something she had done.
"And one of the worse things I probably ever did was during my first flying lesson, I of course could fly but I was distracted actually thinking about you and Sybil so thank you very much for causing me to mess up, anyway so I wasn't paying attention and I crashed into Miss Drill" Esmerelda replied and Ethel looked at her and they both started to laugh at the thought.
"I got less accident prone as I got older, first year something always goes wrong but you will grow out of it" Esmerelda told Ethel.
Ethel did understand then, Esmerelda was not perfect, not even close but that was the way Ethel liked her, she liked her flaws.
"Esmie?" Ethel asked as her sister looked at her in response.
"Yes Ethie?" Esmerelda asked looking at her sister.
"Can I have another crushing hug?" Ethel asked quietly as she bit her lip. Esmerelda decided to play with her sister though.
"Nope" Esmerelda replied folding her arms and looking the other way "You said you didn't want one so you lost your chance" Esmerelda told her joking around.
"Please" Ethel said really wanting one of her sister's hugs.
"No I don't feel like it" Esmerelda replied trying not to leap on her and give her the hug.
"But Esmie that is one thing you are most definitely perfect at" Ethel replied causing Esmerelda to turn and look at her in confusion.
"What do you mean?" the older girl asked her little sister.
"Well I have found out you are not perfect but you still give the perfect hugs" Ethel told her sister truthfully.
Esmerelda smiled and shook her head before hugging Ethel tightly and happily, happy there was one thing she was really perfect at after all.