Title: Enough
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own a cat and that's about it. Unless Goren & Eames turn up in my stocking this year...
Notes: at end
~x~
She woke up one morning and that was it. She knew. There had been no warning signs; no little hints or red flags that one would expect in that kind of situation. It just ran over her like a steam roller, merciless in its journey, and she was left lying there, still half asleep, stunned and vulnerable and breathless.
She didn't question the truth of it. It just was, and besides, she knew better. It had come to her before – once. He'd left her though. He'd died and left her, but she knew enough to recognise it again when it hit. She accepted it wearily, filed it away in a dark and secretive place, and tried to forget about it. She should have known it wouldn't be so easy.
It refused to stay hidden. It would rear its inappropriate head at the most inopportune of times, tempting her, goading her, into declaring its presence. She fought it, of course. She subdued it; pushed it back to an even darker and more secretive place, only to have it follow her out time and time again. It was stubborn, it was relentless, and it wanted to be heard.
She was adamant. She would not give it a voice. She would not break. She convinced herself that she was the stronger being, and struggled against its call. For a while, she held her own. For a while, she managed to suppress it. For a while, she even believed that she had beaten it; that it had surrendered and she had won the war. She had won nothing. After the lull, it renewed its attack and hostilities resumed.
She's not a stupid woman. She knows the battle cannot be waged forever. She knows that eventually, something has to give, and she knows that that something will more than likely be her. But until then, she knows that unrequited love, in 99% of cases, stays unrequited. She knows that fairy tales don't really come true. That there is no 'happily ever after' for a woman who is too cowardly to tell her best friend that she's in love with him. But maybe, just maybe, there is a happy medium that allows her to sit on the edge of his life and look in. An unobtrusive bystander, if you will. She tells herself that as long as she can see him and talk to him every day, then that's enough.
She lies. It's never enough.
And the war continues.
End.
Notes: Do I really believe Eames is pining away after Goren? No. But some evil, angsty plot bunny with bad hair has a hold of me at the moment, and I can't seem to shake the little bugger. I'm just gonna ride it out, and the fluff should come back eventually.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own a cat and that's about it. Unless Goren & Eames turn up in my stocking this year...
Notes: at end
~x~
She woke up one morning and that was it. She knew. There had been no warning signs; no little hints or red flags that one would expect in that kind of situation. It just ran over her like a steam roller, merciless in its journey, and she was left lying there, still half asleep, stunned and vulnerable and breathless.
She didn't question the truth of it. It just was, and besides, she knew better. It had come to her before – once. He'd left her though. He'd died and left her, but she knew enough to recognise it again when it hit. She accepted it wearily, filed it away in a dark and secretive place, and tried to forget about it. She should have known it wouldn't be so easy.
It refused to stay hidden. It would rear its inappropriate head at the most inopportune of times, tempting her, goading her, into declaring its presence. She fought it, of course. She subdued it; pushed it back to an even darker and more secretive place, only to have it follow her out time and time again. It was stubborn, it was relentless, and it wanted to be heard.
She was adamant. She would not give it a voice. She would not break. She convinced herself that she was the stronger being, and struggled against its call. For a while, she held her own. For a while, she managed to suppress it. For a while, she even believed that she had beaten it; that it had surrendered and she had won the war. She had won nothing. After the lull, it renewed its attack and hostilities resumed.
She's not a stupid woman. She knows the battle cannot be waged forever. She knows that eventually, something has to give, and she knows that that something will more than likely be her. But until then, she knows that unrequited love, in 99% of cases, stays unrequited. She knows that fairy tales don't really come true. That there is no 'happily ever after' for a woman who is too cowardly to tell her best friend that she's in love with him. But maybe, just maybe, there is a happy medium that allows her to sit on the edge of his life and look in. An unobtrusive bystander, if you will. She tells herself that as long as she can see him and talk to him every day, then that's enough.
She lies. It's never enough.
And the war continues.
End.
Notes: Do I really believe Eames is pining away after Goren? No. But some evil, angsty plot bunny with bad hair has a hold of me at the moment, and I can't seem to shake the little bugger. I'm just gonna ride it out, and the fluff should come back eventually.