Beg me for mercy,
Admit you were toxic.
You poisoned me just for-
Another dollar in your pocket.
Now I am the violence.
I am the sickness.
Won't accept your silence,
Beg me for forgiveness.
The people that Dabi has come to associate as colleagues and, dare he even say- friends, all sit around a table under the dim light of their hideout. Each one nurses their own pick of poison. Shigaraki, to his right, occasionally takes a shot from an ochoko that seems to never to run out of sake. Twice, to his left, guzzles down some foreign import of beer. Dabi never really bothered to learn English during school and, in his drunken haze, can barely make out the letters that seem to blend all together in a squiggly mess on the amber bottle. Toga sits across from Dabi with glazed eyes and a smile as she stares fondly at her knife in the middle of the table, a couple of empty glasses of what used to be long island ice tea sit discarded next to her.
"We all know the rules right?" She sings out in an airy voice. Dabi pushes away from the table, wanting to just enjoy his buzz.
"This is stupid. We've worked together for how long? A year? Who needs a fuckin' ice breaker?" He grumbles into his glass before taking another shot of whiskey. Twice sighs and shakes his head before letting out a soft chuckle.
"Yeah, he's right; this is pretty lame. No shut up, stop being such a pussy. This is a good bonding activity! Whatever." Shigaraki smirks over the rim of the ochako as Twice continues to debate with himself. Over time, they've all grown used to Twice's quirk and the complications that come with it. Just another day in the life for a villain in the League.
"Well I think it's a great idea!" Toga slurs as her hand twitches closer to the knife, Dabi's eyes narrow at the slight movement of her hand. This is his first time drinking with Toga and he sure as hell doesn't want to be near her- better to be safe than sorry in case she gets the case of the stabby.
He grumbles again and finds his shot glass empty, Dabi pushes back against the seat and stumbles to his feet. Making his way to Kurogiri, he suddenly finds himself a lot more drunk than he previously thought.
"Imma step out for a smoke." He mumbles, the others around the table grunt something that he doesn't catch and he shoulders through the creaky front door.
Taking in a deep breath of the cold night air helps clear the fog from his head as he lights a cigarette. He doesn't take a drag from the cigarette and instead finds himself lost in the swirling of the smoke, his mind slowly looping back to the others in the room. Dabi really doesn't want to participate in the little ice breaker or whatever Toga wants to call it. This isn't school and even then, he never once gotten a participation trophy. Why start now?
Except he knows that he'll be dragged into this, like it or not.
"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." Dabi stares up at the cold light of the stars above as he takes a drag of his cigarette.
"It would just be easier if you let them have this one thing." A soft voice startles Dabi- chomping down on his cigarette and nearly choking on the butt.
"Fuck man. The hell's wrong with you?" He growls as Kurogiri stands next to him. The bartender regards him with his smokey yellow eyes and chuckles.
"Guess I forgot how on edge you really can be."
"Fuck off." It doesn't hold any sort of bite and both men know that. Instead, Kurogiri just sighs.
"It might help to talk about it." Dabi feels his shoulders sag and he flicks the broken cigarette into the dark alley.
"It won't help jack shit." He shoves his hands into the pockets of his jacket and glowers at the man next to him, Kurogiri says nothing- instead he watches Dabi. They continue their stare down until Dabi's eyes eventually grow dry and he blinks. With a growl he turns away and reaches for the door.
"Dammit," He curses as he misses the doorknob, "This is the League of Villains. Not the Mickey Mouse Club of Friends or something." Dabi yanks the door open and he feels a strange weight on his shoulder.
"You dropped this, Dabi." He turns around once more to come face to face with Kurogiri holding a picture that has more creases and wrinkles than that old geezer Gran Torino. He holds it face up towards Dabi and they both say nothing as Dabi studies the photo.
It's an old picture. A picture of, what could be said as, happier times.
Perhaps not. Dabi can't remember ever really being happy.
A better word for it would be one of nostalgia.
It's for the nights when he feels alone in the world, when he knows that no one can see him in the darkness of his room and he can finally take off his mask. For when he finally just breaks down, unable to hold his sorrow, rage and torment in any longer.
For when he gets shit faced drunk and for when the tears fall from his eyes as he traces the images of his estranged family.
The smiling faces of his siblings and mother stare back at him mockingly and he lunges for the picture. Kurogiri doesn't move but holds onto the old photo as Dabi tries to take it back.
"I know that you still hurt, Dabi. Whether you like to admit it or not, you've been there for them in their darkest time. Maybe it's time to let them be there for you." Dabi yanks the picture away from Kurogiri's grasp and folds it back up along the faded creases.
"Fuck you, go to hell." He mumbles again and before he can make his escape to the alley- the door opens and Twice stands in the doorway, gathering Dabi up into an inescapable hug.
"Nope! You're not going anywhere." Dabi gives up, knowing that struggling will only result in a pointless fight and instead just ragdolls himself. If he has to go back into the bar, might as well make Twice work for it.
Twice grunts at the sudden weight and stoops slightly but after a quick second, he easily hefts Dabi up and over his shoulder and carries him back into the bar.
"Thank you Twice!" Toga smiles up at Twice as he sets Dabi back into his chair. They start to chit chat and Dabi hopes that in their drunken stupor that they all forget about their lame "get to know each other" game. He blearily looks to Shigaraki, who looks just as miserable as he feels. He shoots a knowing look to Dabi of "I tried to escape too." Both men sigh and take another shot.
Unfortunately, Toga seems to remember her idea when Dabi shifts against the table and the glint of the knife catches her eye. Toga and Twice quiet down and sit back down in their seats and she studies each of the villains around her with a solemn gaze.
"I really hated working with all of you at first." She starts and Dabi snorts and signals for another drink, the last thing he wants to hear is some sort of speech from a drunk Toga.
"Damn. Tell us how you really feel, bitch." She crosses her arms and sticks her tongue out.
"I wasn't finished, Dabi, you asshole! Shut up!" He says nothing and she perks up, "Anyways! I hated it, but like, I started feeling like we were a family-"
"This is one helluva fucked up family." Shigaraki deadpans and Dabi can't help but to chuckle.
"Oh my god! Can I finish?!" She shoots an icy glare at both men and Shigaraki waves her off dismissively.
"I'd really rather just get this done and over with. Don't know if you know this, but I'm not much of a 'fuzzy feelings' kinda guy." Toga pouts and stares down at her lap, Twice pats her on the shoulder sympathetically.
"Well, I appreciate you Toga." She beams up at Twice, before reaching out for the knife in the center of the table and gives it a quick spin. No one says anything as they watch the knife spin around and around, the scrap of the metal scratching against the wooden table and the knife seems to glow under the dim bar lights. It starts to slow and Dabi feels himself holding his breath as it slowly passes over each villain. They watch with unblinking eyes and it comes to a halt in front of Dabi.
He jerks away from the table and nearly falls out of his chair.
"Well, I think that's enough for today." He nervously blurts out and moves to stand up from his chair.
"Dabi." Kurogiri's voice cuts through the room and Dabi doesn't even bother to look over his shoulder to know that he's standing worriedly behind him, "Remember what I told you earlier." Dabi's thoughts shoot to the folded picture in his jacket pocket and he runs a hand wearily over his face. He sighs and doesn't have the confidence to meet the curious gazes of his colleagues, instead he stares down at the table and its stains and scratches.
"Dabi-" Kurogiri starts again but to his surprise, Shigaraki stops him.
"Give him time." He makes a note to give Shigaraki a day off from his asshole remarks in the future. Dabi slowly pulls out the picture and unfolds it, still refusing to make eye contact. His fingers turn white from clenching onto the photo and places it gently onto the table for everyone to see.
He ignores the surprised gasp from Toga and doesn't even make a move when Shigaraki gingerly picks up the photo with four fingers.
He's already lost in thought back to when the photo was taken.
A flash blinds Touya and he blinks away the dancing dark spots in his vision.
"Lemme see! Lemme see!" Natsuo jumps up and down in place, trying to grab the camera from their father's hands.
"Natsuo, behave yourself. We are in public." Enji frowns down at his son and Natsuo doesn't shy away and instead starts climbing Enji's leg to get the camera. Rei giggles, shifting Shouto to her hip and gently rests a slender hand on her husband's broad shoulder.
"We're on vacation, Enji, let him have some fun." Touya doesn't miss the steel behind his father's eyes before he sighs, bending down to show Natsuo the photo. Fuyumi pushes past her brother and stomps her foot when she looks at the camera.
"No fair! I blinked!" Natsuo cackles and pokes Fuyumi in the face.
"Leave it to you to ruin everything!" She squeals and runs behind Touya, peeking around his shoulder and sticks her tongue out at Natsuo.
"Stop being a meanie Natsu!" Touya laughs and defends himself from Natsuo's poking attacks. At age four, Natsuo is nearly as tall as Touya- despite being five years older. Their mom always liked to say that Natsuo is going to grow up to be as tall as their father. At first, Touya was annoyed that he's nearly the smallest out of his siblings even though he's the eldest. He doesn't mind much anymore, being small and slender has its upsides. He's definitely the fastest and the stealthiest when it comes to sneaking out past bed time to get more dessert.
He summons a weak flicker of fire that's barely warm enough to toast a marshmallow and sends it over to his younger brother.
"Touya, honey, please don't set your brother on fire." Rei pats Touya on the head and smiles as she gently lowers his hand.
"He needs to practice his quirk if he wants to get stronger." Enji interrupts and Rei's soft smile flickers, her cold hand moves down to his shoulder and draws him in closer towards her. Shouto reaches down and tries to grab at Touya's hair and Touya makes funny faces at his youngest brother, who starts to giggle.
"Preferably not on his family though." Enji only grunts and reaches to pull Touya towards him, Rei hesitates for a moment before letting go of him. Touya stands in front of his towering father. Even with Enji squatting- Touya is still drowning in his father's shadow. His father's ice blue eyes stare down Touya and he grips his shoulders firmly.
"Remember what I said, Touya?" He puffs out his chest and doesn't back down from his father's gaze and offers him a wide grin.
"If I want to grow up to be strong like you, I have to practice!" Enji finally allows a small smile and brings Touya into a tight hug.
"That's right. You will be my successor." He hugs his father back and the smell of cinnamon and an autumn fire of his father comforts him as he feels his heart soar with pride. Todoroki Enji, the Number Two Hero- his father said that he will be his successor! He just has to work himself harder, he knows that he's still young. His quirk is growing just like him, that's what his mom tells him when he beats himself up for not being able to hold a light against his father's. He may only be nine, but he doesn't miss the disappointment in his father's eyes after their weekly training sessions. To be told that he's still going to be his father's successor is the best thing that he's ever been told.
What Touya does miss though, is the narrowed glare that Enji shares with Rei. As he hugs Touya closer to himself, Rei takes a step back and gathers her remaining children to take them the next ride.
"Why do you think my quirk hasn't come in yet? It has to be any day now, right?" Nastuo hangs upside down over Touya's bed, his white hair looking more wild than ever. Touya doesn't look up from the fire that he summoned in his hand.
"I dunno."
"I bet my quirk would be even cooler than yours! I would probl'y have fire and ice powers!" Touya allows his small flames to dissipate and studies his younger brother with a raised eyebrow.
"Fire and ice? Don't be silly." Natsuo lets himself fall from the bed and scrambles over to Touya.
"It's true! You have fire and Yumi has ice. I'm going to have both! I wanna be the best! Like no one ever was!" Touya laughs and nods, going along with Natsuo's singing.
The days melt into weeks and weeks into months and soon Natsuo's fifth birthday also comes and goes. Still no sign of a quirk, he's taken to a quirk specialist. He doesn't come home that day, his mom gently explained to Touya and Fuyumi that he's going to stay overnight to be under observation. That she's going to spend the night at the hospital too so he won't be alone and that they have to be good for their father.
Touya curls up in his bed, listening to the argument of his parents. He brings his knees up to his chest and buries his face in his arms. His parents have started fighting more and more the past couple of months and after every argument, his father takes him out for more training.
Except it's not the fun training that it used to be.
Touya feels like he's starting to be pushed to the brink of insanity. He can't focus in school anymore and has had to have a private tutor come in everyday to help him with his school work. He's been losing sleep and starts to blame himself for the fact that his parents fight so often. If he could just push past his limits, he knows that they wouldn't fight anymore.
He doesn't need to hide in the the sanctuary of his room to hear the angry shouts of his father's disappointment in his weak quirk. He can hear his father's accusations even through the thick walls. 'If only he hadn't inherited your weak constitution, Rei. He would've been perfect. Damn you!'
Touya hears the front door slam and the angry shout of his father follows. He creeps over to his window and sees the slim figure of his mom dip into the waiting taxi cab with Shouto. He catches Shouto's eye and he waves at his baby brother before the taxi pulls away from their long driveway and disappears into the night.
Heavy footsteps grow louder and he looks over his shoulder as his bedroom door opens. The looming shadow of his father stands still in the doorway, illuminated only by his fiery beard.
"Boy, come." He obediently follows Enji towards the dojo and mentally prepares himself for another session of extreme training.
He tries his hardest, he really does. All Touya wants is to follow in the footsteps of his father but lately, he's been wondering if he can ever really meet his expectations. Touya knows that his father still loves him, but even love can't mask the displeasure of his father's gaze.
He knows that his father is just stressed from work.
He knows that his father still loves all of them.
He knows that his father would never hurt them.
Heroes don't hurt.
They protect the innocent.
Oh, the innocence of a child's hope and love.
"Tou?" Fuyumi timidly peeks around his bedroom door and her turquoise eyes widen when she sees him struggling to bandage his left forearm, "Touya!"
"What?" She quickly closes the door behind her and runs up to him, worry in her eyes. He tugs his sleeve down to try to hide the bandages from her.
"Please," Tears start to pool as she pushes his sleeve back up, "Let me help." He doesn't shy away as she tenderly unwraps the poorly did bandages, he looks down in shame as she lets out a gasp.
"It doesn't hurt. Promise." Touya isn't sure if he's trying to assure his little sister or himself but either way, it doesn't work. His skin is welted and shiny from overexertion. If Touya looks closely, he can even see his skin starting to purple from too much heat exposure.
"Bullshit." This is the first time that he's heard Fuyumi swear and even she seems surprised at her response. Touya hides a smile as she brings a hand up to her mouth, giggling. Suddenly she hugs him, her hair tickles his nose and he smooths out the frizzy mess so he doesn't end up sneezing on her.
"Let me help!" Fuyumi insists again, she pulls away and takes his arm gently in her small hands. He studies her curiously as she closes her eyes and a cold tingle spreads over his burns, "Mom showed me this trick, isn't it cool?!"
"It's badass!" They fall into a fit of giggles and their worries wash away as Touya and Fuyumi start to whisper all the swear words they know to each other.
"Touya?" Fuyumi wipes away a tear as she settles down from her giggle fit, she rolls over on her stomach and holds out a pinkie finger.
"Can you promise me something?" He looks down at her pinky and then back at her with a confused smile.
"What?" Fuyumi pauses and runs her other hand over the blanket, wrinkling it and then smoothing it out.
"Promise that we'll stick together no matter what." Touya's smile grows and he wraps his pinkie around hers- nodding his head in affirmation.
"Ohana means family," He starts, Fuyumi's eyes widen as he starts to quote her favorite movie and she joins in.
"Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten."
It doesn't take much to notice that Enji has apparently decided to ignore Natsuo, it also doesn't take much to notice the soul crushing sadness in his brother's grey eyes.
"Does he hate me?" Natsuo whispers during a commercial, Touya and Fuyumi share an alarmed look before turning back to their brother. Shouto pays none of them any attention and sits still on Touya's lap, too distracted by the bright colors of the commercial.
"He doesn't hate you!"
"Dad doesn't even talk to me now!" Natsuo shoots back, silencing Fuyumi's weak attempt at comforting him, "All he cares about is your stupid training!" He directs his wrath at Touya before his eyes drop down to the bandages peeking out from underneath his shirt. None of them say anything, since Touya's new rigorous training- it's been a common sight for him to be bandaged up.
When Shouto saw Touya wrapped up the first time, he wouldn't stop crying. Fuyumi calmed him down, telling him that Touya likes to dress up as a mummy now. Shouto decided he also wanted to be a mummy, just like his big brother, and soon all four children were wrapped up in various bandages and toilet paper with their arms sticking straight out and groaning, they could only imagine what a mummy would sound like.
The commercial fades and an old rerun of Zatch Bell! fills the static silence of the living room.
As Touya threads his finger's through Shouto's baby fine dual colored hair, he makes a promise to himself.
He vows that he will become strong enough for Natsuo. He will push himself to be the strongest for the both of them.
He will become stronger than even his father.
"How do you expect to get into Yuuei if you can't even train properly?" Touya's father bellows, towering over him. Touya's hand shakes and the pain is unimaginable, he doesn't say anything and continues to study his still smoking left hand.
Even with his secret training when everyone has gone to bed, he still can't withhold the bite of his own fire.
"Do you want to bring shame to our family name, boy?"
"No." He puts all of his focus into not crying. He will not allow his father the satisfaction of seeing his tears.
A steaming hot hand roughly grabs his shoulders and yanks him up to his feet, his father's stern face is only inches away from his own and the fire of his beard makes Touya flinch away from the heat.
"No, what?" Touya clenches his jaw and his right hand balls into a fist at his side, daring to stare back into his father's icy eyes he corrects himself.
"No sir." Enji doesn't pull back and continues to glower at Touya when the dojo's door slides open.
"Enji, that's enough." Touya's eyes flicker over his father's shoulders and sees his mom standing in the doorway with Shouto hiding behind her skirt. Enji finally stands up and with a growl, he glares down at Touya a final time.
"You're weak, just like your mother. Get out of my sight."
Funny that in just a year, Enji went from Touya's biggest hero and to the shadow of the man he once looked up to.
Now he only reminds Touya of his own constant failure.
Rei takes him into her embrace and gently pushes him behind her. Shouto takes his hand and asks if they can watch a movie.
As they walk away from the dojo, Touya can hear his mom crying and begging to his father.
"Enji, please. This has to stop. Can't you see that you're killing him?" The muffled response of his father is the among the first of the nails in the coffin.
"It's the only way for the boy to learn." Touya doesn't remember the last time Enji has even called him by his name.
It isn't until after Touya's twelfth birthday that really starts to see Enji for who he really is.
"You're pathetic! Get up and start over!" Touya doesn't even know how to tell his father that he can feel his innards starting to cook from within. He feels like he's going to throw up and pass out. Each passing year, his training has become more and more excruciating. He feels himself getting less and less tolerable to his own quirk.
Enji's solution to this: more fire.
Most nights, Touya lies in bed- staring up at the ceiling as his body screams out at him in pain. He's given up on crying a long time ago. Crying won't help to dull the pain of the fire that ripples from within, that burns and cooks him slowly but surely.
"This is the problem with your generation, boy." A heavy foot stops in front of him and Touya glowers up at Enji, "You all expect to be served on a silver platter without working for anything. Do you know how hard I worked to get where I'm at? Stop being lazy. Get up and start over!" He still can't move, his body has been pushed past its limits for the day and he feels like a deer in the headlights as he sees Enji pull back a hand.
A loud smack rings out in the dojo and Touya feels his heart drop to the ground when he sees his mom standing protectively between them, her cheek already starting to turn red.
"Dammit," Enji growls, "How can he ever learn if you keep coddling him?" As his parents start to argue, Touya feels himself starting to finally slip away due to the sheer amount of exhaustion. His last thoughts are of disbelief.
Never in a thousand years, would he think that Enji would ever dare to hit anyone- besides villains. Sure, his father is rough around the edges, but heroes don't hurt the good and the innocent.
They're meant to protect... aren't they?
He wakes up in the darkness of his room, a cool hand holds his own and he follows the hand up to his mother- sleeping in a chair. Moonlight streams in through the window and her long white hair seems to glow angelically.
He can almost trick himself into thinking that there's nothing wrong. Almost.
Under the light of the moon, he sees a painful welt under one of her eyes. A suspicious hand shaped welt at that. He starts to remember what happened before he passed out and he feels disgust rising from within him. How dare Enji try to hit him.
How dare Enji hit his mother.
He shifts uncomfortably and Rei starts to stir, her eyes crack open and she offers him a soft smile.
"Touya, I'm so sorry." He's surprised in himself when he feels anger bubbling up from within him, like boiling water from a tea kettle. He looks away from his mom and settles to glare at a rather uninteresting corner in his room.
"Why?"
"Hm?" He looks back at his mom, he feels a fire brewing from within.
"Why did you have to choose him?" Rei draws back slightly from him and runs a hand nervously through her long hair, now she's the one refusing eye contact.
"It's... difficult, Touya. He means well, he just doesn't know how to express it. He loves you all dearly."
"Tell that to Natsu." He doesn't miss the way that Rei flinches at his terse come back and curses himself for hurting her like that. Touya thinks to himself that he's no better than his own father now.
"I'm sorry." She repeats and gets up from the chair and walks out of the room. Leaving Touya alone with his thoughts.
"Remember what I said." Enji stands before his family, staring each one of them down. Natsuo stares gloomily at the floor, kicking at the concrete as Fuyumi fiddles with the hem of her dress. Shouto holds onto Touya's hand and says nothing. His grey and blue eyes hold no ounce of emotion as he dully stares forward lost in thought. That hurts Touya the most.
Seeing his baby brother, a child of only four years old and he already has the emotional range of a block of ice. That just isn't right.
He misses the days when they were younger and they could afford the luxury of being carefree. Nowadays, they're walking on glass and the slightest misstep could hold the harshest punishments.
"Yes, dear. We know the drill, sit still and look pretty while you do the talking." Rei smiles at Enji who only grunts and turns around to the mirror behind him, straightening out his collar.
Once a year, they're put in a talk show with their father.
Touya had once thought it was fun, the cheering of the fans and the flashes of the cameras. He loved meeting the televisions hosts and hostesses as they would politely sit and listen to the banter between Enji and whoever was interviewing him.
Afterwards was the best part, in the back room there would always be a table full of sweets that would give a dentist nightmares for months. Touya and his siblings never paid that any mind though, baby teeth were meant to fall out anyway. "Who cares if we get cavities?" used to be their motto.
Now?
Now they don't even dare to move without the permission of their father.
Touya meets Enji's eyes through the mirror and his father's eyes narrow.
"Don't mess this up boy." He allows himself to break eye contact, hating himself for being weak and wishing more than anything to just to be able to be strong enough to protect his siblings and mother.
As of late, Touya has had a tiny voice in his head- asking if he even wants to be a hero to begin with. What's a hero to a boy with a broken soul?
"Endeavor, you're up next in five!" A slight producer shouts from across the room and Enji nods, making his way back to his family. Rei stands to his left with her three youngest children and Enji grabs Touya's arm with an iron grip.
"Do not make a fool of me."
It's a rare day of tranquility. Enji is out of town on a business trip and for once, all four siblings are allowed room to breathe.
They run from room to room, giggling. Rei gently shoos them out to the courtyard to enjoy the warm summer air and they tumble through the garden- pretending to be jungle explorers in search of a lost empire. They lose track of time and soon the sun starts to dip under the horizon- leaving them in the soft and magical hour of the twilight's embrace as the song birds go to bed and the serenades of crickets and cicadas sing out serenely.
Shouto and Natsuo stalk around in the pond, searching for the croaking frogs. Both chirping away happily as Touya and Fuyumi struggle to put a tent up.
"No, Tou, that rod goes here!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes! I have the directions right here, dork!" Touya threatens to thwap her with it and she ducks, sticking out her middle finger at him.
"Touya, stop it! Don't make me get mom!" He narrows his eyes at her and they enter a stare down.
"You wouldn't! She's taking her nap." Touya smiles as she falters, Fuyumi quickly shakes her head and rips the rod out of his hands.
"Too slow!" She dances away from him, only to trip over a bent over Shouta and tumbles into the pond with a surprised yelp. Touya and his brothers bust out laughing and ice starts to creep along the edges of the pond. She peeks out from the pond and sends a wave of ice over at her brothers.
"Stop laughing!" Her own laughter is cut short as her eyes widen and Natsuo and Touya follow her gaze to their youngest brother.
"Holy shit." Natsuo blurts out and Touya can't help himself as he feels his jaw drops. At the age of twelve, he knows all about quirk marriages and that's why his parents even got married in the first place. To create some sort of perfect quirk.
But Touya never thought that it would ever work.
Yet here he stands with Natsuo jumping with excitement and Fuyumi left speechless in the pond as they stare at Shouto with his left side bathed in a soft light of fire while his right side is encased in a thin layer of frost.
"We can't tell father." Fuymi and Natsuo say nothing and only nod as they stare at Shouto who's giggling and playing with the two elements in his small hands.
As Touya and his brothers and sister lie sleeping in a tangle of blankets and soft snores, he makes another promise to himself that he will protect Shouto as much as he can from Enji's greed.
Touya vows that Shouto will never have to go through the pain that he has to for training. He will make sure that Shouto has the happiest childhood that he can.
"Remember who you are, boy. You would be nothing without me," Enji lifts Touya up from the ground and his head lolls to the side- almost unconscious, "You aren't done until I say so. Get. Up." Touya's eyes blink up at Enji, unable to focus and he starts to cough. A shaking hand catches a splatter of nearly boiling blood and for the first time in what seems like forever- Touya feels afraid. He's never coughed up blood before. Enji takes one look at the blood in Touya's hand and with a disgusted look- drops him. Touya crumples to the ground and rolls on his side with a groan, still coughing and in excruciating pain.
"Father," He cries out between coughs, "Please. Help me."
"This is the only way for you to learn. Get up." For a moment, he can't move. As his body cries out- he remembers his unspoken promise to Shouto and he stumbles to his feet. Enji smiles at him for the first time in what must be years and a small part of Touya is glad to finally make his father smile.
"Good. Maybe there's some sort of hope for you still. Now, start over." Touya clenches his jaw and tries to ignore the throbbing of his migraine as he summons another wave of fire.
Touya doesn't know when it happens but slowly yet surely- Rei pulls away from him. Once comforting him when his body can't take anymore abuse, she now shies away from him like he's a monster. He doesn't know why and it hurts more than his training with Enji.
It doesn't take long until his siblings follow her lead.
Leaving him virtually alone in his personal hell.
Every time he comes across either Fuyumi or Natsuo in the hallway, they skirt around him and flinch away if he tries to talk to them. He can't help but to feel bitter. He doesn't know why they're doing this and it frustrates him to no end. No matter what he does, he's met with a cold shoulder and downcast eyes. They also take care to keep Shouto away from him.
He misses his mom and siblings.
He misses the gentle smiles and singing as Rei strokes his hair as he drifts off to sleep. He misses the constant presence of his siblings- hanging on to him like his personal barrel of monkeys. He misses the quiet moments where they're piled in his room and he's braiding Fuyumi's hair for school and looking over Natsuo's shoulder to make sure his schoolwork is correct. He misses Shouto struggling to stay awake with them and eventually falling asleep on his lap.
Most of all, he misses their group hugs and their hectic early mornings as everyone scrambles to get ready- scarfing down food and chattering away about the dreams they had last night and he misses their late night talks of their hopes and being there for them when they need their big brother.
Despite living in a house with five other people, Touya has never felt so alone before and it tears him apart in the inside.
The only touch he knows now is the iron grasp of his father during training.
Touya slowly finds himself growing more and more bitter and angry. He's never asked for any of this. He's never found himself so helpless, he has no way and no idea how to even reach out for help. He has no mouth but yet he must scream.
Touya walks down a dark hallway and hears sobbing, he stops in his tracks and listens. With a sigh, he can tell it's just his mom crying again. Just another thing he's grown used to this past year, she rarely leaves her room these days and mostly spends it in bed just crying her heart out.
He tried to comfort her the first few times but it always ended up with her throwing the closest thing at him and screaming "Get out of here, Enji!"
He says nothing and gingerly shoves his hands, minding the nearly permanent presence of the bandages, in his pockets and strolls past his mother's room- her sobs grow more distant as he turns down the dark hallway and towards his room.
Lately, Touya has entertained the idea of running away from his messed up family and leaving everything behind. It's the only thing keeping him sane these days.
He reaches his room and doesn't even bother to turn on the light, he heads to the desk and plugs in his earphones to drown out the sobs that still bounce around in his head. Touya lies down on his bed and stares up at the ceiling as he blasts Otherside by The Red Hot Chilli Peppers.
"Push the trigger and I pull the thread, I gotta take it on the other side.
Take it on the other side,
Take it on.
Take it on."
His eyes begin to droop and falls into a restless sleep- plagued by dreams of happier times.
Touya stands behind the school with a group of kids of names that he never bothered to learn. That doesn't matter to him though, what matters is what they have.
"Damn, Todoroki. Come by anytime you need more goods. Can't say no to the kid of the Number Two Hero now." They laugh and he flips them off before walking away, not in the mood for their snide remarks.
If he can't have control of his own life at home, he might as well do something about it. He stares at the unopened package of cigarettes and with a sigh, opens it- struggling with the plastic for a second before flipping the lid open. He studies the cigarettes and a small part of him asks if he really wants to do this.
Touya doesn't pay that question any mind.
He'll take back control of his life, one cancer stick at a time if that's what it takes.
Cursing he realizes that they didn't supply him with a lighter but then a thought bubbles up and he mentally face palms himself.
Who needs a lighter when he has a fire quirk?
He chokes on the smoke of the first cigarette and waves the smoke away from his face, nose scrunching in disgust. Touya thinks this is probably the grossest thing that he's done but decides that at this point, he really doesn't care anymore.
Touya listens as the bell rings in the distance, signaling that lunch is over but he doesn't make a move to go back to class and stays rooted under the shade of the tree.
"Tell me why I was told that you've been absent from class this past week, boy." Enji stares down at Touya and he meets his father's glare with his own. He refuses to back down anymore.
"I dunno. Maybe they just don't take roll call properly."
"I highly doubt that." Touya shrugs.
"That's your problem then." Enji's beard ignites and he bends down closer, the icy blue of his eyes and dangerously narrowed- a large hand grabs the collar of Touya's shirt.
"What did you say." Touya wiggles out of his grip and backs away towards the door, "I'm not finished here, boy."
"Touya." He calls back, over his shoulder, "My fucking name is Touya. Not boy." A wall of fire hits him in the back and he turns around with a ball of fire in his left hand, ready to fight back. Enji's whole body is nearly on fire as he takes a couple of threatening steps towards Touya.
"I will not have you disrespect me in my own household, boy." As Enji prepares to hurl another wave of fire at Touya, the door slides open and a distressed Shouto stands in the doorway.
"Leave Touya alone!"
"Get out of here Shouto." Enji snarls, taking another step closer. Shouto throws himself between the two and raises his fists in an effort to protect his big brother.
"No! Leave my big brother alone!" Touya can only watch in horror as Shouto allows himself to activate his quirk, he feels his heart sink down to the ground as a glint flickers in Enji's eyes. He curses and screams at himself for allowing himself to be so stupid and letting Shouto try to protect him.
He wants nothing more than to set the world ablaze as Enji sets down his hands and bends down with a sick smile on his face as he stares down at Shouto in wonder.
Touya has failed his promise to his baby brother.
His father, Todoroki Enji, had finally found out about Shouto's quirk and Touya knows that this is the beginning of the end.
Just like with a simple snap of the fingers, Touya is forgotten about. Shouto had replaced him in training and Touya is livid. He's only five and going through the same training he had at thirteen.
He can ignore the crying of his mother easily, but Shouto's sobs keep him up at night. Haunting him and reminding him of yet another failure added to his growing list.
Of course he's done all he can to put Enji's focus back on him instead. He's gotten piercings, dyes his hair black, throws himself into school fights and blasts loud and obnoxious rock music when he knows Enji has to get up early the next morning.
All to no avail. Even provoking Enji to his face produces nothing.
It's like he's become a ghost in his own household.
No one ever sees Shouto or Enji anymore. Their house is quiet and forlorn without the youngest Todoroki running down the halls. Touya hates himself and he can feel the glares of his remaining siblings and mother, they know that it's his fault.
If only he had kept his mouth shut.
If only he had been a good son.
Sometimes, Shouto crawls into Touya's room in the middle of the night, crying and covered in burns and bruises. Touya always holds him and softly sings him to sleep as he brushes down his brother's hair. It pulls at his heart to hear his baby brother crying in his sleep.
This is when Touya realizes that he doesn't want to be a hero. He will never follow in Enji's footsteps.
Instead.
Instead, he will go down his own road of fate. Knowing that there's only one option out there for a broken and angry soul like himself.
He will be the one to bring the downfall of Enji. He will make sure that he will burn and burn until the man he once idolized is nothing more than a pile of dust for the pain he has wrought against his family.
He will make sure that the empire that Enji had worked so hard for will crumble and that everyone will see who he really is.
He will be the one to stand against the fake heroes and abusers.
A shrill scream bounces off the walls of the quiet manor and Touya dashes off towards the sound, a sinking feeling of dread festers within- knowing something is deeply wrong. He follows the wailing and finds Shouto writhing on the floor, holding the right side of his face as Rei backs away from him.
"What did you do? What did you do?!" He shouts at her and Rei doesn't stop screaming. Soon, the kitchen draws out Fuyumi, Natsuo and finally, Enji.
Everything moves in a blur and Touya is pushed out of the kitchen with his other two siblings. They all share a concerned look, too afraid and in shock to move.
He's is the first one to break away from the scene. He's filled with disgust and hate. He has one thing on his mind as he enters his room. He starts to pack his bags as the flashing lights of an ambulance throws his room in an off kilter hue of red and blue.
He refuses to stay in this house for another night. How could he ever live with himself, looking at Shouto- knowing that he had failed his baby brother?
He manages to slip away from the house easily with it being in a state of chaos but a small thought tugs in the corner of his mind that he would've been able to leave before any of this had happened and would still have gone without being noticed.
He doesn't care anymore. He made sure kill any type of emotion long ago.
The only thing that keeps him moving forward is just the searing heat of hate that festers in his heart.
"Do you have any rooms available?" An old man peers from over the computer and at him with a curious raised eyebrow. Neither say anything for a moment and the man averts his gaze back to the computer.
"Looks like you're in luck, kid. Can I see an ID?" He pulls out a wad of cash and throws it on the counter, the man's eyebrows shoot up.
"How about we skip the ID part, hmm?" He can feel a smile growing as the man takes the money and pockets it.
"Sure thing kid, still need a name to put in for the reservation though." He nods and sets his shoulder bag on the floor.
"Dabi."
"Sounds good enough for me. Your room number is 4." The man hands him a key and nods towards the front door, "Go out the door and the rooms will be on the left side of the building." He grunts out a thanks and shoulders his bag, making his way to the room.
He stands in the dingy bathroom and glares at himself in the mirror. He can still see so much resemblance to Enji and takes in a deep breathe. He extinguishes his cigarette against the yellowed ceramic of the sink and summons his fire. During the months of his private training, he's willed himself to make his flames grow brighter and hotter than ever. Now instead of a red, his flames taken on a shade of azure.
Despite his many failed promises over the years, he's at least kept one. He knows that his quirk is now stronger than his father's.
"Dabi." He whispers and nods, it'll be good enough.
He studies his blue flames and sighs. Knowing that what's to come in the next couple of seconds will be hell. He closes his eyes and ignites himself on fire the pain is unimaginable but he stands fast. He will not let himself half ass this, he owes this to himself.
Ironic that he's given this specific room number. For four stands for death.
He had died a boy and reborn as a man.
Tonight Touya has died.
In his place stands Dabi.
Ten years go by and he finds himself in a dirty bar with a psycho blonde girl with an unnatural affinity for knives. He looks around the bar with boredom, nothing much is worth noting. It stands empty save for the pissed off man with blue hair and a misty bartender.
"What's your name?" He allows a lazy smirk and leans against the wall nonchalantly.
"Right now, I'm going by Dabi."
"What's your real name?" Dabi can't help but the chuckle, shaking his head."I'll let you know when you need to know it."
"Jesus. You got daddy issues up the ass." Twice is the first one to break the silence after Dabi's story and he starts to laugh.
"Fuck you, man." Shigaraki hands the photo back and is oddly quiet.
"Cat got your tongue, hand man?" Dabi pokes fun at Shigaraki, trying to lighten the mood. Shigaraki shakes his head and stares at the photo in disgust.
"Just another reason to destroy the hero society." Is the only thing he offers and Dabi understands that's the most he'll ever get out from his boss.
He reaches forward and pulls the photo back from the table and studies it one last time before igniting it. Dabi watches as the paper curls in on itself and the last face he sees on the photo is the smiling and unmarred Shouto.
Toga was right, Dabi thinks, in a way- they are like a family.
A family for the forgotten, the misfits and for the broken.
Author's Note
The lyrics from the beginning are from Blood/Water by Grandson.
Later one shots for this series will be published whenever- I'm not going to give myself a deadline and work on these at my own pace. I am kind of aiming a once in a month sort of update though, but we'll see.
Reviews are always welcome!