Mafia Helpline

Prologue

I'm an assassin.

A person who kills. Merciless. Ruthless. Devil.

Atleast that was I used to be… but I got scouted by Vongola Nono, and for some reason or another, it's really hard to say no to that old man.

I'm not sure if it's the fact that I can be killed by the mercy of his guardians if I declined when he offered me a position or if it's the warm and familiar feel of his eyes.

My life gradually fell apart because of him. I'm not really sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing. But I really appreciate the old man even if he's too nice and even cunning at times…

That's enough for my mediocre introduction.

BRIIING

My phone rang and buzzed like a squirrel on crack.

Which means that the caller will either be insane or crack. Lovely.

For some reason my phone rings like crazy when insane people calls. I don't even have any idea how that happens.

I let a few minutes pass by before I hesitantly picked the phone up and I asked, "Who's this?"

There was a kind chuckle in the other line and-oh shit. This isn't the old man, is it?

"Hello, Alice-chan." Ughh… so it was Vongola Nono.

Crap, I should have just missed the call. Not that I have anything against the old man but… what does he need this time? I twitched as I asked him, "Why did you call, Vongola Nono? Is there anything you need this time?"

"I see that you're excited to hear from me." He remarked with another chuckle.

"I can detect the blatant sarcasm in your voice." I deadpanned before I added, "But really, what do you need?"

There was silence from his line and he coughed as he answered my question with a rhetorical question, "Can you come and visit my mansion?"

I groaned as I asked, "Am I allowed to decline?"

"You are not." He said with a good-natured laugh and I twitched. Figures.

"Oh fine." I groaned once more and I gritted my teeth as I told him, "I'll arrive in a while."

"Thank you Alice." He said with obvious gratefulness in his voice.

He better be thankful. I snoted before I said, "Sure whatever bye, I'm hanging up."

And I cut off the line before he can even add another thing to say. I locked my room and went to the shower to take a bath that was finished in record time.

Wearing black sweatpants and a red pull-over that I grabbed from my wardrobe, I made my way to the Vongola mansion.

"Goodmorning." I greeted as soon as I arrived in the office of Vongola Nono.

He has this kind and shiny aura about him, ugh, as he smiled and greeted back, "Goodmorning, Alice-chan."

I nod and without any seconds to spare, I made myself comfortable in one of the chairs. Vongola Nono's office has one of the most comfortable furniture in the history of comfortable furniture. I don't even know if that makes sense but it's really like that.

I looked at him with a blank expression before I pointed out, "Please stop calling me Alice-chan. We're in Italy, not Japan."

"Haha," The old man had the nerve to laugh but he reasoned out, "But you do like Japan and it's culture, right?"

"Maybe." I gave a careless shrug before I went to the point and asked, "Why did you call?"

I knew that I was being a bit impolite and rushing him but this old man won't understand if you don't get to the point. He'll just ramble on and on about so many things that aren't even in the previous conversation.

I couldn't care less about those rambles. The last time we conversed, I completely lost track of what he was talking about, it started about pasta and became something about, to quote, 'Tsunayoshi-kun is growing up. I am so proud.'

Like I care, right? Sometimes, I think I understand why Xanxus gets angry at Vongola Nono, the old mas was too nice for his good and he talks way too much as well.

"Well, Alice-chan," he looked at me and I twitched. He went and stared at me with those gentle eyes before he said, "I have a favor to ask for you."

Favor. Again. Of course I'll be happy to help-as if.

I snorted ungracefully before I pointed out, "Another favor?"

"Yes." The old man had the nerve to smile at me even though he's asking another for favor. He gave me another kind smile as he said, "This one will be easy."

As if.

The last time he said that, I had to babysit a bunch of psychotic and murderous assassins. I leveled a glare as I said, "You said the same thing when you asked me to let Varia work for my café."

He had the nerve to let out a laugh as he asked me, "Was it not fun, Alice?"

"Yeah, it was fun, of course." I sarcastically stated with a snort. I gave him a look before I said, "Those guys were trying to kill my investment. Sure they were good at attracting customers, but that's that."

I glared as I ranted, "The sanest one among them is a sarcastic, little brat. The greedy baby asks for sky-high salary. The maniacal prince isn't allowed in the kitchen because he cut himself one time and all hell went loose. The shark lets out shouts that can even cause tremors. Luss is fine, but she or he or whatever drags me to girly malls every. Single. Time. The old man who looks like a deranged octopus isn't even helping because he scares my costumers."

"Handling them is even more dangerous than the jobs that I had before." I finished with a half-hearted whine.

He offered an encouraging smile as he said, "This new task won't put you in danger."

As if. Being part of the Mafia alone is dangerous enough.

He stared at me and I stared back. We had a lovely staring contest for a while. I sighed as I gave up and asked, "What is it this time?"

"I'm going to let you handle a helpline." He declared with a serious tone.

I raised my brow as I repeated, "Helpline?"

"Yes." He nodded as he specified, "A mafia helpline."

Wait. What?!

"Aren't those the kind of stuff where you listen to people rant about their problems and they expect you to help them or something along those lines?" I showed my surprise expression as I asked him.

When he replied with a mute nod, I gaped and within seconds protested, "What the actual hell?! That's like an anonymous babysitting!"

He gave a chuckle as he said, "You'll do fine."

"Hey," I twitched as I asked, "Are you telling me that I'm an expert in babysitting?"

I may have stopped my assassinations for a while but there is no way that I could have gone that soft.

"It's not babysitting at all," Vongola Nono reasoned out as he tries to calm me down, "It's essential for someone with high logical and physical capabilities to help another who has a problem."

I am so not buying that old man wisdom crap that he just uttered.

"You're the only one that can fare well in this." He told me with a slightly pleading tone in his voice.

I crossed my arms and pouted, "Geez, ask the others. I'm not interested."

"I'll give you two day offs per month in the café."

This old man seriously plays dirty. He knows as much as I do that I would be willing to do anything just to get a day off from the café.

And two days per month is equal to twenty-four days per year, roughly three weeks, and that's not even adding the holidays and the sick leaves.

"Cheater." I muttered under my breath. He probably heard it because he gave a hearty laugh.

I looked at him and said, "What do I do?"

And that was how I was roped in another mess with the Vongola. Now I was expected to 'help' the poor and lost Mafiosi by listening to them rant about their problems.

Whatever.

I guess this might be good blackmail material.

Good thinking.

Then I reread the agreement form which I signed and-shit.

"As the handler of the Mafia Helpline, you will be required to help the caller at all costs. There will be times that members of the Mafia community will ask you to handle their problems personally. You are expected to pay a visit if such an event occurs."

Whaaaaat-nooo! Oh my Vindice, I'll need to visit?

No way. No freaking way.

Ugghhh. That old man is such a cheater.

And this is how I, Alice, became a saint-kidding.

But really, this is the start of my journey to help around people which technically makes me a saint.

So yes, this is how I, Alice, learn that there are worst things in life than handling a café with cracked assassins as workers.

A/N: So a new story! Yaay! I'll produce cracks later on :D

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PS: What kind of request from the cast do you want to see in the next chapter? :)))