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desiderium

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No one had asked him.

Yuuichirou sits on the edge of the bed, nervously rubbing the hem of his bathrobe between his fingers.

The past few days have been…overwhelming, to say the least. Life changing, really. A new home, a new position, a fiancé. And no one- not his intended and certainly not his parents- had asked if this was what he wanted.

Yuuichirou supposes it isn't all that uncommon. Old fashioned, maybe, but not unheard of. He's an omega, after all. Most omegas were more or less integrated into society these days, but should a parent send them away or marry them off, it was within their rights to do so. Legislation was always slow to change.

At least his engagement hadn't been a complete surprise. At least his alpha isn't a complete stranger.

Yuuichirou knows his parents wouldn't have cared less had that been the case. They never missed a chance to tell him how eager they were to rid themselves of him. To transfer the burden of caring for an omega to another family.

No matter what Yuuichirou did, no matter what he accomplished, he would never be the alpha his parents wanted. He would never be enough.

When Mikaela Shindo expressed interest in him, Yuuichirou's parents were quick to give him their blessing. Yuuichirou hadn't seen Mikaela in years, and even he could tell that the alpha was shocked at how easily they'd given him their permission to mate their son. They hadn't even allowed Mikaela and Yuuichirou the traditional courting period to get to know each other better.

There hadn't been a need, not according to Yuuichirou's mother and father.

And so, a mere week later, Yuuichirou finds himself sitting nervously in his new bedroom, waiting for Mikaela to join him. The engagement ceremony had been elegant and lavish- an event befitting the owner of an international corporation such as Shindo Inc. But the most important ceremony was going to happen here, in between the silky new sheets.

Yuuichirou may have a ring on his finger, but the real claiming will only happen once his alpha mates and marks him. Yuuichirou wonders where Mikaela will choose to bite him. Would he be traditional, going for the neck? Or would he choose a more…intimate spot?

Yuuichirou can feel his cheeks warm at the thought. He wishes he knew Mikaela well enough to know what kind of mating mark he'd go for. They might not be strangers, but Yuuichirou can barely remember a thing about the little blond boy he'd met all those years ago in kindergarten.

The fact that Mikaela Shindo would seek him out after all this time, and wish to mate him, still baffles Yuuichirou. He can't understand it. Whenever he closes his eyes, he half-expects the beautiful room around him to melt into the small bedroom he'd lived in for the past twenty years.

It was like living in a fairytale.

Yuuichirou doesn't trust it.

The bedroom door opens and Yuuichirou's eyes snap up to the tall man standing in the doorway. He'd taken his hands only hours before and promised to marry him. Had Mikaela truly meant what he'd said? Now that Yuuichirou is in his bed, will he keep being the charming man that slipped a ring on his finger?

Will Mikaela go through with the engagement and mating and legally finalize their union with marriage once Yuuichirou conceives? What if he can't? What if Mikaela is unhappy with him either way and breaks off the engagement?

Yuuichirou doesn't even want to think of what his parents would do to him, should that be the case.

Mikaela steps into the room and closes the door behind him. He offers Yuuichirou a smile as he loosens his necktie, allowing it to hang undone from his neck as he shrugs his suit jacket off and slips it over the back of a chair. Yuuichirou's eyes follow his every move like a hawk, leg muscles tensing under the fabric of his robe.

"You're anxious, Yuu-chan," Mikaela notes and sits down next to Yuuichirou on the bed. Yuuichirou stiffens as the alpha's hand finds his shoulder and rests on top of it. Mikaela could probably scent his discomfort, but the hand remained.

"What is it? Is there something wrong with the room, Yuu-chan? I can have my men-"

"Why do you call me that?" Yuuichirou snaps, cutting Mikaela off. He turns to look at the alpha with a frown.

"You don't even know me, and you already gave me a nickname? What if I don't like it?"

Mikaela blinks back at him, shock clear on his face, before lowering his hand.

Fuck. Why had he said that? What if Mikaela won't consummate their engagement?

"But you liked the name before. Don't you remember?"

Yuuichirou folds his arms against his chest and turns half-way to fully face Mikaela and his slightly hurt expression. He feels a pang of guilt, but Yuuichirou isn't sure why.

It wasn't his fault that he doesn't recall whatever it is Mikaela is referring to. For all he knows, it never happened, and the alpha was making things up.

Or maybe he promised himself to the wrong omega.

"No, I don't," Yuuichirou says stiffly. "No one has ever called me that before."

Mikaela's eyes narrow and for a moment, Yuuichirou thinks the alpha is going to reach out and grab him. But Mikaela's hands remain on his lap, curled into fists. Even displeased, the alpha was displaying unusual restraint. Most alphas Yuuichirou knew didn't see any reason to hold themselves back when feeling angry.

Yuuichirou's father certainly hadn't.

"That's not true," Mikaela huffs and meets Yuuichirou's gaze.

His eyes are really pretty, Yuuichirou absently notes, though he should probably be focusing on Mikaela's words. It wasn't every day that an alpha's harsh tone didn't compel Yuuichirou into cowing his head and taking in every word, like it or not. Mikaela wasn't using his Command. Why?

He almost wants to indulge in the choice he's being given in not listening to Mikaela's displeasure, but that would be rude.

"I started calling you 'Yuu-chan' after you stood up for me in the playground. You didn't seem to mind it then- do you really not remember? Any of it?"

Yuuichirou frowns and leans back, giving Mikaela a quick once-over before his eyes snap back up to meet the alpha's.

"I remember we were in the same kindergarten," Yuuichirou allows. "But I don't remember much from those years. I didn't- I was sick a lot."

Yuuichirou looks away, flinching when a hand cups his chin and turns his head gently so that he's meeting Mikaela's eyes once more. His pulse quickens when he takes in the dark expression on the alpha's face, somehow making his features sharper and rather intimidating. Yuuichirou holds his breath and squares his shoulders.

It takes a lot out of him to restrain the trembling.

"We both know you weren't sick," Mikaela says slowly, emphasizing every word. "Don't lie to me, Yuu-chan. You don't need to protect them anymore. You never had to."

It suddenly occurs to Yuuichirou that Mikaela's anger wasn't directed at him.

He doesn't know what to say to that.

Sensing his hesitance, Mikaela rubs his thumb comfortingly over Yuuichirou's jaw, though his expression doesn't soften. Yuuichirou can tell that though the alpha's eyes are on him, he's seeing something else entirely.

"I didn't recognize those bruises for what they were, at the time. You were so brave, Yuu-chan, going out of your way to stand up for me, and I-", Mikaela's voice wavers. "I was too stupid to realize you weren't actually falling down the stairs and tripping over your feet all the time."

Yuuichirou's eyes widen.

How did Mikaela remember all of this? Had he really made such a deep impression on him?

Mikaela's hand releases Yuuichirou's chin and trails down his throat, following the curve of his robe and pausing just above the fabric, dipping a finger to brush the skin under Yuuichirou's collarbone. Yuuichirou is suddenly hyper-aware of the heat of the alpha's hand against his skin, how close he is next to him on the bed.

How with one easy movement Mikaela could probably push him down and pull the robe off entirely.

Mikaela doesn't do that. Instead, he leans closer, lips brushing Yuuichirou's ear.

"Tell me, Yuu-chan. Will I find any black and blue marks if I take this off?"

Yuuichirou flushes and he immediately stands up, pushing Mikaela away.

"Not that it's any of your business, but my parents haven't laid a finger on me in years," he spits out, pulling his robe tighter around him. "Didn't see the point of wasting the energy once I presented. It wasn't like they could kick the omega out of me."

Mikaela looks at him solemnly for a moment before standing up as well. Yuuichirou takes a step back, but Mikaela is quick to take his hands, all the same. He squeezes them and for some reason, Yuuichirou doesn't feel the burning need to pull away. Not even when Mikaela gently guides him into his arms.

"It's all my fault," Mikaela says quietly. "I should've realized-"

"You were five," Yuuichirou points out, words a little muffled against Mikaela's shoulder. "We were just kids. Not even close friends. I don't…I don't understand why you care so much."

Mikaela hugs him a little tighter before pulling away just enough to meet his gaze.

"You're…this is embarrassing," Mikaela mumbles, and Yuuichirou's eyes widen as he notices the alpha's blush. He bites back a grin. Mikaela Shindo, embarrassed? Was that even possible?

Mikaela clears his throat.

"You're the only one who has ever done something nice to me without wanting anything in return," Mikaela completes his sentence from before and takes a deep breath.

"I know it might sound pathetic, but I've never forgotten you, Yuu-chan. Even when my father took me with him to Russia. No one…"

Mikaela reaches out and cups Yuuichirou's cheek in his palm with an earnest smile.

"No one else has ever been so kind to me."

Yuuichirou can't help himself. He snorts.

"Okay, so say I believe you," he says slowly. He's still having a difficult time taking Mikaela's confession seriously. If it was true, it really was a little pathetic. What kind of life has Mikaela been living that no one has ever shown him true kindness?

"You're basically saying that you've come all this way and want to marry me just because I was nice to you once in kindergarten?"

Yuuichirou expects his words to offend Mikaela, or at the very least to annoy him. Which is why he probably shouldn't have said them in the first place- if he hadn't scared Mikaela off until now, this would surely convince the alpha to break off their engagement. But Yuuichirou had to say them.

He'd rather face his parents' wrath than be stuck for the rest of his life with an alpha who would surely set him aside once he realized how foolish he'd been to promise himself to Yuuichirou in the first place.

But Mikaela doesn't start yelling at him, doesn't even pull away. Instead, his smile curves into a smirk as his free hand wraps around Yuuichirou's waist, pulling him flush against his chest.

"Well, no," Mikaela drawls. "I was needed back in our branch here in Shibuya and thought I'd pay you a visit. Maybe take you out to lunch to catch up. But the moment you opened the door…"

Mikaela leans close enough for their foreheads to touch.

Yuuichirou lets out a low whine and flushes as he scents the alpha's arousal. He doesn't even realize he's tilted his head to the side and presented his neck until Mikaela's lips brush his scent gland, earning him a small gasp.

"When you opened that door, Yuuichiro Amane, I knew I had to make you mine," Mikaela's voice is low and rough against Yuuichirou's neck. His warm breath on Yuuichirou's skin sends a shiver up his spine.

"I couldn't believe how lucky I was that no one had claimed you yet."

Yuuichirou gasps and wraps his arms around Mikaela's neck as Mikaela's hand reaches down from his waist to grab him from behind, squeezing him through the robe. The following groan is swallowed by Mikaela's mouth, pressing against his own and fitting together like they'd always belonged. As if they'd practiced their first kiss for years and years.

Maybe what they said about soulmates was true.

Yuuichirou shivers as Mikaela's tongue licks into his mouth and his thigh presses between his legs. His robe rides up his thigh and he pulls away from the kiss once Mikaela's fingers dip under the receding fabric and squeeze his naked skin.

"Are you sure about this?" Yuuichirou asks, eyes dilated and cheeks dark red. He wants nothing more than to return to Mikaela's arms, to take everything he has to offer.

But there's still a small part of him that refuses to believe that this is happening.

"You're really going to marry me, just like that? What's the catch?"

Mikaela raises a brow and bridges the distance between them, taking Yuuichirou's hand. But instead of pulling him back into his embrace like Yuuichirou anticipated, the alpha bends at the waist and brings Yuuichirou's hand to his lips.

"The only catch here is you, Yuu-chan," Mikaela murmurs. "I know I haven't been given the opportunity to court you properly, but I'm going to show you every day how much I desire your company. I swear it."

Yuuichirou looks down at Mikaela, eyes blown wide in shock.

Fuck.

Mikaela really means it, doesn't he?

"I think what got me first were your eyes," Mikaela says with a knowing grin as he slowly straightens back up. "I vaguely remembered that they were green, but when I saw you again, I couldn't look away."

Yuuichirou doesn't say anything as Mikaela takes a step closer and wraps his arms around his waist. He does, however, wrap his arm tentatively around the alpha's shoulders in silent encouragement.

"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful your hair is? It looks so soft, even when it's messy," Mikaela continues and rests his chin on top of Yuuichirou's head.

"And your scent…it took everything I had not to do this when I saw you."

Yuuichirou exclaims as he's suddenly lifted in the air and carried over Mikaela's shoulder. He laughs as he's carefully set down on his back on top of the soft mattress and Mikaela crawls on top of him, caging him in on all sides.

"Okay, okay, I get it," Yuuichirou grins and raises his hand up to brush the alpha's bangs out of his eyes. "You're not all that bad looking yourself. So…"

Yuuichirou's hand trails down Mikaela's shirt and comes to a stop at his belt.

"Now that you've got me here, what are you gonna do to me?"

Yuuichirou thinks he sees a flicker of red in Mikaela's eyes before the alpha paws at his robe, pulling it open and leaving Yuuichirou completely bare for him to see. Yuuichirou blushes as Mikaela's gaze roams over his body in blatant appreciation. His breath hitches as Mikaela's hands brush over his sides.

"I'm going to take care of you," Mikaela states, meeting Yuuichirou's gaze with heated conviction.

"I'm going to make sure no one will ever hurt you again."

Lowering his head, Mikaela kisses a trail up Yuuichirou's chest as his hands slide in the opposite direction. Yuuichirou gasps and bucks his hips as he feels a large, warm hand wrap around his length as the other reaches further down between his legs.

"Gonna fuck you," Mikaela adds, a little breathless. "Fuck, you're so wet, Yuu-chan. I'm going to knot you. Breed you and fill you up with my seed, make you mine. And you know what I'm gonna do after that?"

Yuuichirou squirms and shakes his head, swallowing thickly. Between the alpha's words and his hands, he doesn't know what to do. It's both too much and not enough at the same time. He needs more.

Mikaela leans down and nips at Yuuichirou's neck.

"I'm gonna mark you right here, just as you scream my name."

Yuuichirou moans and arches his back, his bare skin chafing against Mikaela's clothes. Why was he the only naked one?

As if reading his thoughts, Mikaela pulls away with a chuckle. Yuuichirou whines at the loss of contact, but Mikaela doesn't keep him waiting for long. A minute later he's back to writhing under Mikaela's touch, skin burning as he feels the alpha against him.

"Mika…Alpha, please-!"

Mikaela's growl is the only warning Yuuichirou gets before Mikaela acts on his unspoken request. Yuuichirou watches with lidded eyes as Mikaela spreads his thighs and positions himself.

Yuuichirou's head snaps back in a cry as the alpha enters him, slow and steady despite his obvious need.

Yuuichirou knows his body is meant for this, was designed to accommodate an alpha, but he grabs Mikaela's arm once he's fully sheathed inside of him.

"Hey…can you give me a moment?"

Mikaela's face immediately softens and he leans down to press a kiss to his lips.

"Of course, however long you need."

Yuuichirou nods and closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. It's almost surreal, having someone else inside him. Having Mikaela inside him. Who would've thought? He rolls his hips experimentally and bites his lip.

Okay. That might've just felt good.

Yuuichirou opens his eyes and offers Mikaela a hesitant smile.

"You can move now, if you want."

Mikaela doesn't need to be told twice. Yuuichirou braces himself as the alpha grabs his hips and pulls out, only to press back in. Yuuichirou's eyes glaze over as he gets used to the strange feeling, only for them to widen as Mikaela suddenly presses against something that makes him moan.

He'd read about this kind of thing happening before. Mikaela must've found his prostate.

Mikaela notices it too, and with a smug smile he lifts Yuuichirou's hips and adjusts himself so that his thrusts make Yuuichirou gasp more often than not. By the time Mikaela's hips start to stutter and his thrusts become erratic, Yuuichirou is a mess, tears in his eyes and precum drooling from his length.

He's tried to touch it a few times by now, but every time he did, Mikaela would bat his hand away with a warning growl.

"Mika," Yuuichirou raises his legs and wraps them around the alpha's waist. "C'mon, fill me up already. You promised!"

That seems to do the trick. Mikaela lets out a strangled moan as he thrusts his hips one last time, pressing into Yuuichirou and growing thicker at the base. Yuuichirou shivers as he feels Mikaela's knot tie them together and his seed filling him up in short, hot spurts. He feels…fulfilled. Proud.

But he still hasn't cum.

Sensing his distress, Mikaela looks down at Yuuichirou and nuzzles his cheek. He lowers one hand from Yuuichirou's hip and slides it between them, grasping Yuuichirou's length and stroking it in quick, steady pumps.

And, just like he said he would, Mikaela leans down to mouth at Yuuichirou's scent gland.

"That's it," he says encouragingly, rolling his hips along with his wrist as Yuuichirou writhes under him. Yuuichirou tries to hang on a little longer, to draw out the moment of his marking as long as he can, but he can teeter on the edge for only so long.

When he finally cums with a loud cry and Mikaela's name on his lips, he's rewarded by his alpha's teeth sinking into his neck.

Yuuichirou isn't sure when Mikaela pulls away or when he pulls out, but by the time things come back into focus, he's tucked under the covers with Mikaela curled at his side. The alpha smiles brightly at him when Yuuichirou rolls onto his side as well.

"So did I live up to your expectations, Yuu-chan?" Mikaela asks, draping his arm over Yuuichirou's waist and pulling him closer.

Yuuichirou raises a brow.

"Did I live up to your expectations…alpha?"

Yuuichirou notes with satisfaction as Mikaela's face reddens, just a bit. He lets out a surprised yelp as he's suddenly rolled onto his back with Mikaela straddling his hips.

Yuuichirou holds his breath as Mikaela cups his face in both hands and looks down at him with enough tenderness to make Yuuichirou want to look away in embarrassment. Unfortunately for him, he can't look away.

"You didn't live up to my expectations, Yuu-chan. You exceeded them."

Tears form in Yuuichirou's eyes, uninvited, and he shakes Mikaela's hands from his face so that he can sit up and brush the tears away.

He's never met anyone's expectations before. He's only ever fallen short.

As Mikaela exclaims and starts to fret over him, pulling Yuuichirou into a warm hug, Yuuichirou finally allows himself to feel a glimmer of hope he's never felt before.

Maybe, just maybe, he's going to be okay.