A/N: This may be the longest authors note in history. Forewarned is forearmed.
So recently I realized that I knew this show so well that I didn't even have to watch it anymore. I could remember exactly what Mulder and Scully were wearing in any given scene, I could tell you how her head was tipped and what level her eyebrow was arched to. I could tell you if his tie was tight or loose, and if his sleeves were rolled up or not. And as much as I love this show, I was neglecting it and getting bored when I did watch it. Not because it was boring, but possibly because I wasn't paying attention anymore, and wasn't looking for nuances. So in what is quite possibly the biggest project I have undertaken since that stupid Advanced Bible Doctrine paper a few years ago, I have decided to do (another) rewatch of the show, and write a post-ep for every episode. I know it has been done before, and there are some great ones out there (most notably the Seasons: First, Seasons: Second and Seasons: Third by BeshterAngelus). This is just my spin. I am going to stick to the canon as well as I can, and hopefully I can do it justice. So enjoy the ride if you want. It may be a wild one.
She laid in bed for several minutes, staring at the wall and wondering what in the world she had just been pulled into. This wasn't just another assignment. She wasn't just supposed to follow this guy around and make notes on his behavior. This wasn't just a political game. This was personal. It was personal for Mulder and it had already become personal for her. She was invested. She could not turn a blind eye to injustice, and despite not agreeing with Mulder's theories and conclusions, the roadblocks thrown at him were not justified at all. The people out in Oregon who hid the truth, the men at the FBI who turned a blind eye to such behavior. It was ridiculous and made her blood boil. It was insulting that these men thought she would just do their bidding, never questioning anything they told her to do. They'd obviously never encountered Dana Scully before.
She sighed and rolled out of bed, pulling her robe on and tying it around her waist before going to the kitchen for something to drink. She wasn't going to be sleeping tonight. Every time her eyes closed, she could hear Teresa Nemans's scream, could see the bright lights and looks of panic on everyone's faces. It haunted her. She'd never been haunted by anything before, and she had a feeling that this was something that came with the job. She would have to get used to it.
That was, assuming that she was allowed to stay on. Blevins wasn't too pleased with her and could pull her out altogether. But that phone call just now; it sounded like Mulder was inviting her back. Like he was placing a little trust in her, accepting that she was here for good. The thought of committing to something so big scared her a little, but she couldn't back down now. Not before she solved this mystery that every moment seemed to get a little bigger. She may never catch up, but she was ready to try.