"What about this one?" Craig asked, holding up the hanger, his face illuminated with enthusiasm.

"It's… small?" John Paul replied with an uncertain shrug.

"Err yeah… it's supposed to be!"

"That's… good then?"

"You're not very good at this," Craig laughed, replacing the hanger and slipping his hand casually into John Paul's as they walked deeper into the shop.

"Should I be?"

"You've got a big family…"

"Yeah… but I've never been shopping for baby clothes before!"

"But look," Craig enthused as he picked up a pair of trainers small enough to fit in the palm of his hand. "How cute are they?"

"They're… little shoes?"

"You're really not enjoying this are you?" Craig frowned slightly, his rich chocolate eyes focussed entirely on the blonde man at his side.

The two men had been living together for almost three years and yet Craig's heart would still skip a beat at the sight of his lover, he would still shudder with desire whenever John Paul touched him and he would still ache with longing whenever they were apart for longer than was really necessary.

Craig had fallen in love with John Paul when they were both little more than boys but in their adulthood they discovered the true depths of their feelings, feelings that they planned to celebrate in marriage as soon as they found the time to organise it.

"We can go if you want?" Craig offered with a smile. There was something rather endearing about seeing John Paul lost amidst the baby clothes and accessories, it heightened the angelic look of his features as he looked at the tiny outfits with a bemused expression.

John Paul laughed softly and squeezed tightly onto his boyfriends, his fiancée's fingers, every day was like falling in love all over again and John Paul still couldn't always believe that it was real, that he wouldn't wake one morning to discover it was all just a wonderful dream.

John Paul couldn't keep the smile from his lips as Craig wandered over to a display of soft toys, picking up a small blue bear and dancing it with childlike glee along the countertop.

Craig Dean had captured John Paul's heart so long ago and, despite the passage of time, those feelings never lessened, if anything they grew deeper and more substantial, something that would last until the end of time.

Placing the small bear back amongst its companions Craig absentmindedly ran his hand through his hair. Its colour was a brown as rich as his eyes, shimmering under the shops strip lighting as it curled gently over his shirt collar. Craig's mother, Frankie Dean, had often commented on the length of his hair, urging her youngest son to get it cut shorter, a more 'respectable' length. But then there were many things about Craig's life that Frankie wished she could change, not least of which being his relationship with John Paul.

"That's ok," John Paul replied in response to Craig's offer to leave the store. "Besides look at you…" John Paul laughed as his dark haired lover held up a small lemon coloured baby grow covered with pictures of tiny dancing bears, his eyes bright with excitement and joy. "I've never seen you so giddy!"

"Well it's exciting," Craig enthused, picking up a pair of booties that were almost the same colour as the baby grow and a small woollen hat that, for some inexplicable reason, had little rabbit ears pointing out of the top.

"I guess…" John Paul replied.

"It is John Paul… it is… there's gonna be a baby… and I'm gonna be an uncle!"

"Uncle Craig!" John Paul smiled as they headed towards the cash register, Craig's arms somehow suddenly laden with small clothes and toys despite John Paul not seeing him picking them all up. "I feel sorry for Debbie… that kid of hers is gonna get spoiled rotten if you get your way!"

"You bet it is!" Craig agreed, "That's the joy of being an Uncle, all the fun and none of the problems!"

"Someone's splashing out," the young shop assistant said with a pleasant smile as she began to scan Craig's purchases. "Is it your first?"

Craig grinned at the flame haired girl, his eyes sparkling as he watched item after item of baby accessories being packed away into bags. "No it's not ours," he said with a giggle, his hand casually stroking John Paul's arm as he spoke, in a gesture that made the younger man shiver with pleasure and pride. No matter how often it happened John Paul still got a thrill when he saw how casually Craig confirmed they were a couple, the teenage boy who once struggled with how he felt had grown into a man who was proud of his love.

"I can't even get him to set a date to get married," John Paul said teasingly, "Never mind think about having children!"

The assistant laughed as Craig pouted in mock offence, his eye betraying his true feelings as they danced with amusement.

"My boyfriend's just the same," the young woman sympathised. "I was going to say that's typical men… but I guess that doesn't apply in your case!"

"No so much," John Paul agreed, "But if you find a way to get your fella to set a date let me know!"

"I'll do that," she agreed as she scanned the last of Craig's purchases and accepted his credit card in payment of the not inconsiderable total.

Leaving the shop, laden with bags, Craig paused, his expression suddenly serious as he looked at his boyfriend.

"Does it really bother you?" he asked.

"What?"

"That we haven't set a date yet…"

"I don't…" John Paul thought for a moment, he had only made the comment as a passing joke but now that he was faced with the question it felt closer to the truth than he had realised. "Not bother me as such but…"

"But?"

"It'd be good to get it organised… to start making plans you know? To know that it is something that's really going to happen."

"Ok," Craig replied thoughtfully. "How about Christmas."

"What?"

"A Christmas wedding… what do you say… you'd look gorgeous in white!"

"That's… that's only eight months away," John Paul said with a bemused smile as he tried to ascertain the seriousness behind Craig's words.

"That's right," Craig agreed, striding purposefully away from the store and towards his car. "So we'd better start making plans."

John Paul awoke slowly. The warmth and comfort of the bed encouraging him to eek out the last remaining moments of slumber before full wakefulness had to stake its claim. Stretching slightly he turned onto his side to face the man he knew was there even though he had yet to open his eyes.

"Morning," Craig said as he brushed a soft kiss across John Paul's forehead.

"Mmmm…" John Paul mumbled back sleepily.

"Is that all the greeting I get?" Craig laughed, shaking his lover playfully.

"Five more minutes," John Paul grumbled, grabbing the edge of the duvet and pulling it up under his chin.

"You are the worst person I have ever known to wake in the morning!"

Opening one eye John Paul grinned. "I hope there haven't been that many people you've had to try and wake!"

"Even if there had been they wouldn't have been as difficult as you…"

"I'm awake…"

"You don't look it…"

"What can I say? Master of disguise me!"

"Right now you're doing a great impression of someone who wont wake up."

Opening his eyes with an exaggerated wideness John Paul shuffled until he was half upright in the bed.

"Ta da!" He exclaimed, "Look all awake!"

"You are an idiot…"

"Ahh you wouldn't change me for the world!"

"You sure about that?"

"Hey!" Grabbing the pillow from behind his head John Paul used it to hit his boyfriend, before stuffing it back where it belonged.

"D'you think she'll be all right?" Craig asked, suddenly serious, his deep chocolate eyes heavy with concern.

"Who?"

"Debbie… I just can't believe she's doing this whole baby thing on her own… I wish she'd tell us who the father is…"

"It's her choice," John Paul replied, taking Craig's hand in his and squeezing it gently, "And if she really doesn't want to say… well maybe it's for good reason… he must be a right loser if she doesn't want him involved, your Debbie isn't stupid…"

"I guess," Craig conceded with a small smile, grateful for the blue-eyed mans reassurances. "I still don't like the idea of her doing it all alone though…"

"Alone?" John Paul laughed, "Are you kidding? She's got your mum, Steph, Jake, us… the poor woman will probably be begging for some peace before long!"

"Yeah maybe," Craig said, his eyes growing thoughtful. "You know yesterday… in the shop…"

"Yeah…"

"You remember when the girl behind the counter thought the baby stuff was ours?"

"Well she thought it was yours… probably assumed you had a gorgeous wife back at home somewhere…"

"Yeah but… but when she did…"

"What about it?"

"I kind of…" Craig shook his head and looked flustered for a moment. "No forget it. It doesn't matter…"

"Craig obviously it does matter… go on tell me… you kind of what…"

"I… I kind of wished it was… you know? I mean… I dunno… but don't you ever think about it… not right now or anything… but we'll be getting married soon and then, well doesn't a family kinda feel like the next step?"

John Paul frowned, surprised by Craig's unexpected thoughts. "Seriously?"

"Why not?"

"Craig I think you're just getting broody cause Debbie is due soon… trust me a few weeks of sleepless nights and the idea of a new baby wouldn't seem quite so appealing… hell isn't Kai enough responsibility at the moment?"

Kai raised his head at the sound of his name and John Paul scowled at the small ten month old apricot Siamese cat that had been, in all truth, an accidental acquisition to their home. While having nothing against cats as such they had also never been creatures that interested John Paul; but when one of Craig's colleagues had needed a home for the then six-month-old cat the brown-eyed man had fallen in love. Kai had a long face with a wide space between his large, pricked ears. His face fell in gentle lines down to a fine, elongated mouth and thin neck. His oriental eyes were a deep, magnificent royal blue that shone with intense intelligence. Unlike most Siamese he lacked a dark tale and mask, instead his cream body was dotted across his face, ears and tail with a soft hot watercolour orange the same shade as an apricot.

Kai stretched as he got to his feet before moving impatiently across the bed, his tail swishing side to side as he noisily moaned about something the blonde haired man could only wonder, before circling around the gap between Craig's legs in the duvet and lying down, his throat rumbling in a deep, regal purr.

"A cat's hardly the same thing as a baby is it?" Craig said with a laugh, his hand automatically falling to stroke his pets head slowly, deepening the volume of Kai's purr.

"No exactly," John Paul replied with a smile, "And Kai takes enough effort now!"

"You like him really…"

"Hmmm…"

"You do…"

"He's funny looking," John Paul teased. "Cat's should be fluffy!"

"He's a Siamese John Paul, they're supposed to look like that… go on… say you like him…"

"He's spoilt…"

"Say you like him and I'll make breakfast…"

John Paul laughed at his boyfriend's blatant attempts at bribery. "He's all right I suppose," the blonde conceded with a smile.

"For all right you just get tea and toast," Craig grinned as he carefully eased himself from the bed; his actions slow so as not to disturb the slumber of the feline.

Dressed in nothing but dark blue boxer shorts John Paul dropped himself onto a kitchen chair, gratefully taking the mug of steaming hot tea from Craig and sipping carefully at the dark liquid, wincing as it burned his tongue and then returning for another sip.

Refastening the tie of his white towelling bathrobe over his naked body Craig generously smothered two rounds of toast with butter and jam before sliding them across the table to his boyfriend.

John Paul bit into the toast with an appreciative 'mmm,' a dollop of jam spattering his bare chest.

Kai mewed beside Craig's chair as the man placed a small bowl of food on the floor, the cat carefully selecting a morsel from his dish and eating it slowly. There was nothing rushed about the felines actions as he breakfasted with his human companions and John Paul sometimes got the impression that the Siamese considered the two men as the pets of the house.

"Good job you didn't put your shirt on yet," Craig teased as he leant forward and scooped up the errant preserve with one finger and then fed it unto John Paul's hot mouth.

Sucking Craig's finger clean John Paul grinned wickedly.

"I've got work John Paul…"

"I know," the blonde replied, his teeth still gripping Craig's finger.

"So stop trying to distract me…"

"As if I would…"

"Yeah as if!" With a laugh Craig pulled his finger from the heat of his lovers mouth, the sound of the post hitting the hallway floor providing the perfect distraction. It wouldn't be the first time that John Paul had been the cause of Craig being late for work.

Throwing a scattering of letters onto the table Craig took a seat facing his boyfriend and took hold of his mug of tea, watching over the porcelain rim as John Paul casually flicked through the post.

John Paul's skin was so pure, so perfect looking, that Craig's fingers constantly itched with a desire to touch it. The younger man's eyes sparkled like chipped blue ice, shimmering as the light caught them and mesmerising Craig with every new look.

Craig had never truly married the woman he had once married, but he loved the man he was about to, more than he would have once believed possible.

"Shit!"

John Paul's exclamation crashed into Craig's reverie like a steamroller as the blonde man held a letter in his hand, the torn envelope lying before him on the table.

"I can't believe it," John Paul said with a shake of his head.

"What? What is it?" Craig asked, his face lined with concern as he reached out a hand towards the letter that John Paul was looking at with disbelief.

"It's… it's Simon," John Paul began.

"What is?"

"This letter… it's from Simon… they're releasing him… he wants to see me."

The silence was palpable, like a heavy blanket covering the two men, freezing them in place until neither could move or speak, their breaths low and shallow as John Paul's words echoed around both of their heads. The name of a man they had both tried, and failed, to forget.

Sensing the strained atmosphere Kai mewed his mild annoyance before winding himself around Craig's bare legs, stating his allegiance over something he had no real interest in as he sat beside the dark haired man's feet.

"You're… you're not going to are you?" Craig asked after such an extended silence that he almost felt if neither of them spoke soon they never would again.

"I don't know," John Paul replied honestly as he re-read his ex-lovers words. They sounded so sincere, so honest and open and they reminded him of the Simon he had once cared for.

"You can't be serious… he's a fucking nutter!" Craig exclaimed, trying to grab for the letter with the intention of ripping it to shreds, but John Paul held it from his reach.

"He was sick Craig, if he's being released he must be all right again now…"

"Have you forgotten what he did? What he tried to do?"

"Of course I haven't," John Paul replied curtly. The knowledge of how close he had come to losing Craig had haunted the blonde man for months following Simon's arrest. And he would still sometimes wake gripped with panic and coated in a cold sweat, held tight by a fear that would only dissipate once he reassured himself of Craig's safe presence beside him in the bed.

"He tried to kill me!"

"You think I don't remember that?"

"I don't know, do you? You seem happy enough with the idea of going off for a nice cosy chat with him…"

"It's not like that Craig," John Paul said with a melancholy sigh.

"So what is it like?" Craig snapped. "The man who almost killed me wants to see you to... to what? Say he's sorry? And then that'll be all right… all forgiven and forgotten?"

"I'll never forget… you know that…"

"But you will forgive?"

"I… I just need… I don't know… Simon he, he wasn't always like that… and what if…"

"What?"

"What if what I did… what we did… something had to make him behave the way he did…"

Craig shook his head slowly. "So now this is our fault?"

"No, no of course it isn't… but…"

"There's no but John Paul… Simon did what he did… not anyone else… you didn't see all the pictures he had of you… he must have been stalking you for months… and you think that's just going to be over with now?"

"The doctor's are releasing him so…"

"So nothing… I don't trust him, and I never will… I don't think you should go."

"I owe him," John Paul said quietly, his eyes fixed on the tabletop and his half eaten toast.

"You own him nothing…"

"I betrayed him, I lied to him… cheated on him… for all I know I drove him to…"

"Stop it," Craig said firmly, reaching across the table and gripping tightly onto John Paul's hand. "Stop blaming yourself… you didn't cause any of what happened…"

"I just need to know he's OK," John Paul replied, lifting his gaze to fix his azure pools with the liquid chocolate of Craig's soft eyes. "I need to know he's going to be OK…"

"I don't want anything to happen to you," Craig said softly, his steady gaze reflecting the concern heavy in his voice.

"It wont," John Paul reassured him, "But it's something I think I need to do… something he needs to do… you do understand don't you?"

"I don't like it."

"But you understand?"

"Only… let me come with you at least?"

"I think I have to do this on my own Craig…"

"John Paul…"

"Please Craig, I need your support on this… we need to be able to put what happened behind us and I think seeing that Simon is better now, over it all… that can only be a good thing can't it?"

"I just…"

"It'll be OK. Trust me."

"I do," Craig said with another squeeze of John Paul's hand. "It's him I don't trust…"

The two men looked at each other across the kitchen table, both lost in their own thoughts and yet still somehow completely connected. Despite Craig's understandable concerns Simon's shadow had never entirely left them and if this meeting could finally exorcise the past then he knew he had to offer his support, no matter how much he wished it wasn't necessary.

"Look at the time," John Paul said suddenly. "We'd better get dressed… you'll be late for work if you don't hurry."

"You remember we're going to see Debbie tonight?" Craig said as he got to his feet, Kai instantly rising and following him towards the kitchen door.

John Paul smiled as Craig gently stroked his hand through his lover's hair as he passed. "Yeah I remember," he said affectionately. "As I recall we have a couple of presents to take her! And Craig… thanks…"

Craig smiled, his eyes warm with love. Sometimes words weren't necessary.

The day had dragged, Craig's eyes constantly checking the time, which seemed to move painfully slowly towards the end of the day. The clock had barely grazed five o'clock before Craig had put on his coat and raced towards the door.

Twenty minutes later Craig was home and surrounded by the various items of baby clothes, toys and accessories that he had been unable to resist buying, each one carefully wrapped in a variety of brightly coloured paper and tied with rainbow coloured ribbons.

The final gift rested on Craig's lap. The small yellow baby-grow and its decoration of merry dancing bears brought tears to Craig's eyes. It seemed impossible that any human could ever be as small at to fit in the tiny garment, that anyone could start life being so small and delicate. Picking up the baby-grow Craig smiled as he imagined the newborn child it would soon adorn. The next generation of Dean's, and Uncle Craig would be there every step of the way.

Standing in the doorway John Paul smiled as he watched his boyfriend carefully fold the baby-grow before wrapping it in a red shiny paper. Craig had never looked quite so beautiful and John Paul felt his heart swell with love. If he had lost Craig… John Paul shook his head. He couldn't bear to think such a thing. Craig was there and safe and before long they would stand before their friends and families and commit their lives together for all eternity.

"Craig!" Debbie exclaimed cheerfully as she opened the door of her modest semi-detached house and kissed her young brother warmly on the cheek. "And the gorgeous John Paul," she continued as the blonde man followed her brother across the threshold.

Situated in a quiet cul-de-sac Debbie Dean's home had a simplicity that felt both comfortable yet sophisticated. Her tastes in décor had bordered on the minimal, with very little clutter evident on any surfaces, save for a few framed family photographs on the dark oak mantle. However the woman was under no illusions that this was shortly going to change. Already her cupboards were beginning to overflow with baby paraphernalia and, despite having once loved the basic simplicity of her house, Debbie was looking forward to the clutter and noise that the new life growing inside her would bring. Then she would know that her house really was a home.

"You're looking well," John Paul said as he exchanged a kiss with his boyfriends sister, his soon to be sister in law he realised with an internal smile.

The eldest of the Dean girls Debbie had matured into a beautiful woman with a confident ease about her. Her long dark hair shone as it hung just below her shoulders and her smile was bright with good humour. For years she had, with the encouragement of her mother, pursued a career in music, dreaming of being the 'next big thing' but time and experience had taught the woman that sometimes dreams would only ever be that.

Finally Debbie Dean had given up the fantasy of being a star and taken on several temping jobs, having the financial security of the money she had saved during her work on the cruise ships behind her.

"Look at you!" Craig said with glee as he patted his sister's large belly. "You're huge!"

"Pregnancy will do that Craig," Debbie replied with a laugh, "Especially when you're eight months along!"

With a sigh of discomfort the brunette lowered herself into an armchair, her hands instinctively moving to rest on her stomach.

"How you feeling?" John Paul asked as he noticed the tired look in the woman's eyes.

"I'll be glad to finally meet this little fella I can tell you," Debbie replied. "It's so exhausting to do anything when you're constantly hauling this bump around! At least when he's born I can get someone else to look after him sometimes."

"You know you only have to ask Debs," Craig enthused, the idea of babysitting his as yet unborn nephew bringing a bright smile to his face.

"You'd better be careful Debs," John Paul teased. "Craig's getting that broody he might never give the kid back."

Debbie laughed gently. She couldn't remember ever seeing her younger brother so happy. She had witnessed the misery that his marriage to Salome had brought him, and had often suggested that he leave the woman long before he ever did, offering her own home as a sanctuary if he ever needed it. Debbie had mourned the loss of Craig when he did finally leave his wife and then vanished, seemingly without a trace, but seeing him now, seeing him finally find the life that made him happy had made all the upset worth it. It seemed that John Paul McQueen was the only person who was able to bring Craig the joy he deserved and as such earned Debbie's eternal gratitude and respect and, as she grew to know the man, he had gained her friendship and love as well.

Spotting the selection of carrier bags scattered around her brother's feet Debbie sighed. "Craig you don't have to keep bringing me things you know, just you coming to see me is enough."

"I know," Craig replied, a pink flush colouring his cheeks slightly, "It's just a couple of things I thought you might like… it's nothing much… really!"

"Looks like you bought half the shop to me!"

"Don't worry Debs," John Paul laughed, "He'll probably go back for the other half before much longer!"

"Hey what is this?" Craig asked with a mock pout, "You two ganging up on me?"

"Always!" John Paul replied with a laugh that he shared with Debbie. "You know we love you really…"

"You'd better," Craig said with an elbow in John Paul's ribs. "Or I'm not gonna marry you!"

The two men exchange a look that made Debbie feel as if she were intruding on a private moment and yet she felt no compunction to look away. Her own love life had been a catalogue of disasters and bad choices, culminating in an unexpected, although not entirely unwanted, pregnancy. She had long since given up the belief that she would be lucky enough to find true love but seeing it shining in the eyes of the two men sat in her home was still enough to make Debbie smile widely.

"Talking of weddings," Craig said with a grin as he turned to his sister, "What you doing some time around Christmas?"

"Have you finally set a date?" Debbie asked joyfully.

"Almost," Craig confirmed, "We just need to finalise things, but yeah John Paul finally agreed to make an honest man of me!"

"I think that's asking a bit much," John Paul laughed.

"I would get up and give you both a big hug," Debbie said, "But it would just take too much effort… so you'd better come here!"

Holding out her arms Debbie beckoned her brother and his boyfriend, or rather fiancé, to her, wrapping them both in a warm embrace as they knelt on the floor at her feet.

Craig felt tears prickling at his eyes, making him close them tight as held his sister and his boyfriend close. He couldn't remember feeling so happy or so complete and not even the background worry of Simon could spoil the moment. Life was finally the way it should be and the future was a shining light ahead of him, ahead of them all.

"Craig," Debbie said with a hint of seriousness in her voice as the men pulled back from her hug. "Can I ask you a favour…"

"Course you can…"

"You don't know what it is yet."

"I'll do anything I can Debs, you know that…"