Childhood Hating Parody: The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

Chapter 1

In a theater, the large red curtain remains close. But then someone came out. It was Achmed the Dead Terrorist.

"Greeting Infidels!" said Achmed as the audience goes crazy. "It is I, Achmed the Dead Terrorist!" He began showing off his outfit. "Look, I'm a woman again!" The audience laughed seeing Achmed dressed as Dorothy.

"Welcome to the second installment of Just a Childhood Hating Parody, this one is quite different. With this one, we are going to go easy on the sex and violence ….. Ha ha ha, just kidding, possibly!"

(More laughter)

"Now, just like the last one; each character is played as someone else who will be dressed like them, but we are going to go by our actual name. There will also not be a list yet because the author just makes most of this stuff as he goes along. Also we are not going to advertise for the author's current fan-fiction. I mean come-on! Look at those Death Masks. Disney gonna sue them! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh."

Then Achmed notice that all of the audiences are in-deed Death Masks. "Uhhhhhhhh just kidding again!"

"Anyway, we now go on…" But then someone interrupt.

"When will the film start?" asked Rock, a fat and short tribal Death Mask. "This is not a movie theater!" Then someone else asked something. "Are you a terrorist?" asked Stick, a tall and skinny tribal Death Mask. "Are you even listening?!"

Then one more person asked something. "Will the fourth wall shatter?" asked Scouter #52, who had an upside down triangular mask with a darker tone of white people skin, crazy black hair, round eyes with green dots for pupils, x shaped mouth, and black raptor like claws and feet.

"You shut up you worthless characters! I'm talking to you right now so yes, now calm down or go get keeled!"

So after it became silent again, Achmed continued. "Ahum, we now go into a world with cheap colors, to an area called Kansas, an infidel land! In a small farm with flat land that will no doubt cause any storm like problems, lived a little girl. I think she's little. I don't recall an age."

(The curtain opens)

Achmed is running down a dirt road with his dog, Princess Peach (Who is dressed normally. No nudity with her. Like you wanna tap that while she calls out Mario.) "I can't believe that lousy witch hit you like that! And you just took it! Be a man and fight you cow!" Peach then used her butt attack and slammed Achmed right to his aunt and uncle. "Hey Uncle Monkey! Coco hit my dog Peach!"

Uncle Monkey, the one from Dexter Laboratory, just mad monkey shrieks while pounding the ground. "Oh oh ah ah eh eh!" Then Achmed's Aunt Cow from Cow and Chicken said, "We can't do anything right now, we have to get my big brother's babies somewhere safe. I heard a big storm is coming."

From one of the cages, "Hey Cow, let me out!" Cow answered, "Ohhh Big brother, Mom told you to stay in that cage since that little accident with the hen! But I guess I could, if you tell me what exactly happened. Nobody will tell me!"

Seeing his aunt and uncle are useless; Achmed seek help from three of the farms employees. There was Patrick the dumbass, Optimus Prime the Transformer, and Garfield the cat.

"Hey Patrick, Coco was attacking…" But then Patrick grabbed Achmed and started shaking him. "Scarecrow, scarecrow, scarecrow!" He let Achmed go and walked away. Feeling awkward, Achmed asked Garfield for help. "Garfield, Co…." Then Ganon attacked him. He then marked Achmed off his list of who to attack. He had already marked off Link, Zelda, Bowser, Jiggilypuff, Al-Qaida, Mississippi River, the Loch Ness Monster, Obama, and finally Romney.

Garfield pulled him out and said, "Get me food! Lion's hungry ….. Liiiiiionnnnnnn!"

Cow came over and started complaining. "I'm gonna tell mom that you three aren't working." She turned to Optimus. "And stop playing The Statue of Library." Optimus then said, "Tin Man."

Achmed asked Cow for help again. "I'm telling you Aunt Cow, Coco la Bouche is gonna keel Peach." Cow patted Achmed on the head. "Go away and play somewhere safe."

She left Achmed. Achmed turned to Peach and said, "Safe, where can that be?"

(Play Music)

"Somewhere… over the rainbow, way up high…..something something lullaby."

Down the road came the villain of this play, Coco la Bouche. The child hating villain from Rugrats in Japan, I mean Paris, came riding on her old fashion bike and stopped at the farm. She walked to Uncle Monkey. "You poo throwing ape, your niece's dog bit me on the leg after I started pulling her hair!"

Uncle Monkey only screeched. "Talk to me you sad ape!" Monkey continued to screech. "I have a note here about American Law and-" Monkey refuse to stop. "Ughhh."

Then all went inside to hear Coco's complaint. "That dog of yours is a menace to society. I came to take her away so the sheriff can destroy her!" Achmed began worrying for his dog. "Aunt Cow, she's not dangerous. Heck she just sits there as she gets kidnap."

Coco took out a slip, "This piece of paper I wrote say that it's the law to have such a disgusting animal. If you don't do as I say, I'll take this whole farm." Achmed said, "Come on Lady, farms are getting less money every year."

Cow shook her head. "Well if you wrote a paper saying that the law says to hand over the Dog, I guess I have too."

Uncle Monkey took Peach and put her inside Coco's basket. "Mario, help!" Achmed became so made and hurt. "You dirty old witch! Witch, Witch, witch, witch, witch, witch, witch, witch, witch, witch, witch, witch, witch, witch, witch, witch, witch!"

Achmed ran out. Cow stood up and said, "You've been in charge of most of the town for many years! I always wanted to say this but, I can't because my mom and dad won't let me."

"How old are you?" asked Coco.

Later on; when Coco was heading to the sheriff, Peach noticed that she could easily escape the basket. But instead of just hopping out, she only called out Mario to save her. "Mario, help!"

Coco started complaining, "Shut up princess! Once I take you to the sheriff he'll put you to sleep. He's a Nazi; so your only hope is to be ether blonde, blue eyed, or both."

When Coco notice that Peach is both, she stopped. "I did not think this through." While Coco was thinking, Peach noticed a trail of mushrooms alongside the road. Knowing that Mario uses mushrooms for health, she followed them in hopes of seeing Mario.

At the farm; Achmed was planning on revenge. "I know; I'll hire someone to rape her! No wait, she's ugly and cold hearted to kids and blonde women."

Then Princess Peach jumped through the window. "Peach you're safe!" He hugged Peach. "Wait a minute; Coco will come back and I haven't thought of a good enough plan to keel her! We had to run away until I come up with something!"

So the two ran off in hope of finding a way to kill the evil child-hating Coco La Bouche, while crossing a bridge, someone sneezed, which caused Achmed and Peach to fall off. They landed in a small creek filled with craw daddies. "Hey who sneezed!?"

Achmed looked at the audience. Stick raised his hand. "Me, sorry!" Achmed starred at Stick, then slowly looked away, but then looked again. After repeating this two more times and Peach being pinched. (Again, nothing sexual going on for her.) They found an old fortune teller with a wagon. The fortune teller was played by Fry from Futurama. "Hey I'm roasting wieners!" he laughed.

Achmed walked to him. "You're a fortune teller! Can you tell me when my seventy-two virgins will come?"

Fry looked at Achmed. "Hold on; what did you do last?" Achmed answered, "I ran away from home." Fry began feeling his head. "I know why you are traveling …. You are delivering pizza." Achmed got angry at Fry. "You idiot!"

So after Fry guessed the twentieth time and go right that Achmed and Peach are running away, he invited them into his wagon. Yes it's a pigsty.

"You shouldn't be running away, I had a vision that one of your family member will die." Achmed gasped. "You mean Aunt Cow?" Fry answered, "No, all of them, a twister's coming. Saw it on the news."

"Oh no, Aunt … wait a minute. I don't recall there being any televisions back then!" Fry then bolted out. "Lousy hobo not paying attention to time period."

So Achmed and Peach ran back home to save Aunt Cow. Fry, hiding on top of the wagon; saw the twister forming. "Well I guess they're dead. Well that girl's already dead, but not the blonde chick!"

Fry jumped off. "Come my trusty horse companion; pull the wagon to get us to the blonde chick!" After some thought, Fry finally realized that he never had a horse.

Back at the farm; everyone was getting the animals and themselves to safety. Aunt Cow was looking for Achmed. "Achmed, Achmed oh where are you!" She then saw the twister. "Oh no, the seventy-fifth twister we had this week!" Optimus Prime then said, "She's serious, that's very likely in the Great Plains."

They all got into their underground safe house; right before Achmed and Peach came back. "Aunt Cow, Aunt Cow! I know; the safe house!" Achmed ran to the safe house and started banging on the door. "Hey, can you hear me? Open up!"

Inside, whey all heard Achmed. Uncle Monkey tried to open the door, but Patrick stopped him. "Are you mad?! That could be the tornado trying to trick us!"

Seeing that they won't open; Achmed and Peach ran inside the house. Peach knew that the tornado will just tear the house apart, she started barking at Achmed. "Hey what else can we do?"

Achmed was then whacked by a window and landed right on his bed, out-cold. Peach only just starred by how convenient he just landed on his bed.

What will happen to them on their journey? Our story will stop here for now. If it was like the first Child hood hating parody, the next chapter will probably be posted a month later due to the Cross-Over Crystals story or college, most likely college.

(Curtains close)

All the Death Mask started clapping. "We may have to wait a whole month?" asked #52. "Well it could be worst." said Stick. "Yeah, we could have listened to more of Uncle's monkey's bad acting!"

#52 looked at Rock. "What on Earth are you talking about? He's a monkey." Rock and stick shook their heads. "You think that, come on!" said Rock. "He's no monkey! Monkeys are supposed to eat bananas. Did you see a banana anywhere?" asked Stick. #52 only face-palmed himself.

End of Chapter