(While I was writing the latest chapter to my series "Home" [also on this site], I was thinking like... Allen's life is miserable. He gets a new daddy after his other new-daddy was killed, and now his new-new-daddy is killed, as well? Rough. If I was him, I'd be bawling... on Kanda... oh my baBY BUTTON NOSE I HAVE AN IDEA.
(And, so, this one-shot was born. Dun dun DUUUNNN. So yeah, geniessen ~ :3)
Allen's POV
Allen walked into the exercise room, dragging his feet, and went straight for the samurai, who was meditating silently and perfectly still, cross-legged, and sitting on the ground with his eyes closed. Once he was behind him, he slowly sat down, slightly rubbing the man's back with his own, on the way down.
He put his head in his arms and leaned them onto his knees, allowing his tears to fall and using his first crush's warmth and company as comfort to sooth his sorrow. They sat like that for several moments and only the sound of the Asian's breathing and the Brit's sobs could be heard, throughout the room.
Eventually, the samurai sighed heavily and with clear frustration, before asking in a drawn out, tired, and annoyed growl, "What's wrong, idiot?"
The 14th's vessel didn't move or cease crying into his own arms. "Just... lend me your back, will you", he barely croaked.
Another silence followed but, once more, Kanda sighed, though this time it was less audible. "You know that you can talk to me, you idiot beansprout. We may not get along but that's exactly why it doesn't matter what you say. Just let it out and get it over with."
His sobs grew thicker and he soon could hardly find the breath to speak, but eventually started with, "everything is horrible, anymore... I'm just so tired..."
His heart felt a little lighter now that he'd finally vented a little and allowed himself to bask in the feeling, for a moment, rambling on and on and crying harder and harder with every word he spoke. "Master is dead, now, and Mana died before that. Even Narain was turned into an akuma - doesn't everyone die because of me? Should I even get close to anyone, ever again? And yet I'm so lonely... even as the order - my family - is turning against me and I'm just...
"Why should I 'keep walking'? Keep walking to where? To the stake to be burned? No matter where I go, death is waiting for me and the one person who gave me the confidence to push past all of that may not have even meant those words for me in the first place! I made this promise to Mana, but did he receive it from me...?"
"You know", Kanda began, making the boy force his sobs down, so he could hear his words. "I was jealous when you told Link about Mana before you'd tell me."
What? What does that have to do with anything?
The samurai turned around and wrapped his arms around Allen, warming his head with his chin and his back with his stomach, bringing him more peace than ever, despite the abnormal closeness. The man had never even liked his touch, yet now he was actually cuddling him? Is he... worried?
"It wasn't your fault, idiot. None of this is. And I don't know about Mana or anyone, but you will always have me to lean on. I love you, not the 14th." He paused shortly before adding in a slightly muffled, cracked voice, as though he were trying desperately to engrave the meaning into every word, but hated the idea of showing affection, "And I need you."
Allen blushed at the kindness and sincerity in the older man's voice and began with, "I lo-"
Kanda immediately cut him off, growling, "Don't say it if you don't mean it, shortstack."
"B-but I do! I do... love you..." And he meant every word. He'd thought the man was beautiful when they first met and that grew into a crush, after spending some time together. That, eventually, grew into love, when he realized that he didn't genuinely hate him, at least entirely. He'd never expected his feelings to be returned, though...
"By the way", the samurai chimed, as playfully as he could get. "If you tell anyone that I was caring or being nice, I'll cut off all of your hair and burn it to ash, so you can't even make a wig out of the detached strands."
"Pft, as if", the boy responded.
After a moment of silence, they both burst into laughter, even Kanda. It was like music to his ears. Allen stopped abruptly and turned to gawk at the taller man, stupidly.
"What?" The Asian frowned at him and furrowed his eyebrows, irritably.
"I love your laugh, Kanda. You should laugh more often." He smiled at him innocently, joyfully, and honestly and received a heavy blush and a turn of the cheek, in response.
"Shutup, beansprout", is all he mumbled.
(If you like my writing, I write a lot of DGM and have one Kyo Kara Maoh fanfiction called Separation, though most of my series' have less love and more dRaMa because I'm a potato. Although my series' started out kind of wonky because I didn't take them seriously, in the beginning, but they eventually get great. In my opinion, at least. I actually had to force myself to keep from adding humor into this because I felt it needed to remain serious. My poor jokes~ xD)