Author's Note: For HollowPoint
Torment
The snow fell quietly outside, mingling gently with the laughter of those terrible children. She knew that soon among that laughter would be the laughter of the one she hated most, the one who was the worst kind of person. On that last day before winter break, Rin sighed and kept her eyes on her book as giggles erupted from her classmates. She hated them, hated their horrid immaturity. They made her utterly sick. This was middle school, not elementary. She would've thought that they'd have grown out of this by now, these childish pranks, but, obviously, her expectations for them had been too high.
Rin glanced over to where her classmates had drawn together around a sleeping Ruko. Ruko was a classmate two years younger than the rest, having skipped two years easily through pure intelligence despite sleeping through many classes. This had been the first thing to draw their classmates' attention, the next being a question of gender. That classmate was also known for falling asleep impulsively and, with no close friends to protect him, she was preyed on constantly by the brats. The way they treated him made Rin sick. She'd learned from experience, however, that Ruko didn't want her help, so she kept out of her classmate's business, no matter how much it killed her to do so.
Ruko awoke then, blinking drearily as the students erupted in cackles and drew back. Ruko's face stayed confused until he looked at herself in the window's reflection. He grinned and laughed, annoying Rin just as much as the other classmates did. No, it annoyed her more than their other classmates did. The brats had drawn a beard and mustache on Ruko's face, complementing the accessories with perfectly-applied makeup. Rin didn't want to meet Ruko's gaze, so she kept her eyes locked on her book. Her parents scolded her for being antisocial, but why would she want to have anything to do with these people? Especially Ruko, the person she hated most of all.
"I think you look gorgeous, Ruu-chan," crooned Miki. Rin tensed at those words, becoming more and more annoyed as they continued on. Where was Kiyoteru, her useless teacher? He'd put an end to this, surely. It was torture to listen to them, to know what they were doing, to know how terrible it was despite them dismissing it as a joke.
"Really?" Ruko laughed, probably with a signature smile. How could he take this every day? Didn't she care whatsoever? "Well, maybe I should style myself like this more often."
"I'd go out with you," agreed Iroha, grinning from ear to ear.
"Then let's go for it, kitten."
As the students broke into laughter once more, Rin slammed her book shut just to draw attention onto herself and away from that despicable person. With a glare at the group, she stood up decisively and began making her way past them, toward the door to leave the room.
"It's only first period, Rin," Gakupo remarked irritably.
"Sorry to have bothered your studying with our socializing," agreed Gumi, scowling deeply at Rin. "You could join in any time you want, you know."
Rin kept her face calmly diverted toward the door, hating each and every one of them so much. It was Ruko that was the worst. He should have done something rather than just sit there and laugh with them. She should have gotten upset, angry, yelled, cried, done anything but act like it was okay. It was far from okay. It was cruelty in its worst form, terrifying uncaringness that made Rin want to cry.
Rin dashed out of the classroom. It was the last day before break. There was no one at home, so her parents wouldn't realize until too late if she skipped. Anything was better than this agonizingly painful game her classmates played.
"Sorry," Rin murmured as she crashed into someone in the hallway. She'd been too busy rushing to notice that she'd been heading straight into a man's chest. She didn't look up at him, though, and instead hoped her bangs would keep her tears hidden. She'd become an easy crier since she'd entered this class and empathized with every single horrible thing said to Ruko.
"Rin? Why aren't you in class?" She recognized her teacher's voice, and Kiyoteru's sharpness stung a little. As the second-ranked student in the class, she knew he'd be disappointed if she skipped.
Still, she could stand the thought of going back there. She opened her mouth to murmur a reply, but she couldn't make a sound. She felt tears brimming, so she shut her mouth, knowing that speaking would make them spill. Instead, she looked up at him, hoping he'd notice. Luckily, he did, and his gaze softened. "I'll go stop them."
"I hate them," Rin murmured, not caring now that she was about to start crying. Kiyoteru understood, and she needed to tell someone.
"Don't go that far, Rin," he said softly, awkwardly patting her shoulder. He didn't know what else to do, she realized, and she immediately felt bad for making him worry. "I'll talk to them."
"I'm going home," she said resolutely, shifting her gaze to the ground again and refusing to look at him. She brushed past the man without another word between them.
. . .
The winter snow swirled gently around Rin as she made her way outside the house the next day. For now, she was free from her classmates for a few weeks. At the end of this year, she'd be free of that class forever, free of the horrible torture of watching Ruko's passive acceptance of their classmates' bullying. Did that person realize what a terrible example she was being? It wasn't something he should have tolerated. It made them think it was okay to treat people like that.
It had all started three days into the new school year, when Iroha had questioned why a pretty girl like Ruko chose to wear the boys' uniform. Then had come remarks from the boys that Ruko never changed in the boys' change room. After much pressing, Ruko had been forced to admit to being a mixture of both genders. Gakupo had been the first to make a joke about it, and the rest of the class had followed his lead. Immediately, Rin had leapt to Ruko's defence, and she'd been traumatized when Ruko had told her that it was no problem, that the jokes didn't bother him, that she actually found them funny. He'd said that each time Rin defended her, so Rin had given up completely by now.
As caught up in her thoughts as Rin was, she didn't notice herself crossing an intersection until a hand gripped her arm and tugged her back. With a shout of outrage, Rin turned blazing eyes onto her savior, prepared to tell them off. She paused when she met eyes with Ruko, her anger calming to a simmering hatred. She jerked her arm away and snapped, "Don't touch me."
Ruko flinched, looking genuinely hurt for a moment before smiling apologetically. "Sorry, I was just trying to help."
Rin bit back her remark of Well so was I. "I don't need help."
Ruko raised a brow with that usual polite smile and stated, "You were about to step out into busy traffic."
Rin scowled and said stubbornly, "I know what I was doing."
Ruko paused and looked out onto the moving traffic with a grin, a hurt look in her eyes. "You really hate me, don't you?"
Rin snorted, frustrated. She hated to be so mean to that person who evidently had enough on his plate, but she couldn't help but be honest. "You represent everything that I hate." When Ruko winced, Rin realized that it might of come out wrong, so she covered with, "I hate the way you let them treat you like that. If I was bullied like that, I'd probably kill myself."
There was a heavy moment of silence as the traffic flashed by, Ruko staring at the unchanging traffic light while Rin's eyes fell to her tall classmate's skirt. Then, Ruko took a step forward, and another. Rin's eyes flicked up to the traffic light just in time to see the signal change, allowing them to walk, and followed suit. She didn't say anything more to Ruko, just as Ruko didn't reply, until they reached the shopping centre. Rin paused and considered pretending to head somewhere else until Ruko was out of sight, but Ruko caught her too quickly.
"If we're both here, why don't we shop together?" he questioned with that polite smile.
Images of Ruko laughing with their classmates still echoed in Rin's mind, though, so she replied with, "No."
Ruko's smile drooped a little at the corners before she slowly returned it to its former state. "Alright, I understand. See you after the break, then."
"See you," Rin mumbled, no commitment in her voice as she took off in a random direction. Ruko was the worst kind of person, the kind of person she hated. As long as she lived, she never wanted anything to do with him.
. . .
The next day, Rin paused in her tracks, utterly infuriated. Without a single word of introduction, she questioned, "What are you doing here?"
The two stood atop the school's rooftop, staring at each other. There was no snow falling that day, but the iciness of the air refused to let them forget the season. Rin narrowed her eyes at Ruko, who had invaded this space where she came after club activities. Ruko gently pulled a smile onto her face and idly said, "Just admiring the view."
Before the silence could fall again, Rin felt herself say, "You're the worst kind of person."
Ruko sighed and looked away, looking terribly hurt. "Come on, Rin. Work with me here. Why do you keep saying those kinds of things to me?"
Rin refused to let the guilt sink in, not yet. Ruko frustrated her more than anyone else, and he ought to know why. "Because you're terrible."
Ruko leaned against the roof's railing. Rin was a little impressed that Ruko was brave enough to stand that close to the edge. She'd always worried about falling when she stood that close. "I can't decide if you're an angel or a devil, Rin."
Rin scowled, bothered by this statement, and remarked, "I have no idea why you'd think I'm an angel. I stopped trying to protect you ages ago."
Ruko smiled tentatively at her, but she refused to smile back. "I never did thank you for that, did I?"
"No."
"Well then, thank you."
"I don't accept your thanks."
Those words were colder than the air between them, evidently, because Ruko sighed, again with that injured expression. Then, he looked out over the skyline. "Rin, have you ever wondered what it would be like to step in front of a moving car?"
Rin didn't even bothering thinking before she answered. "No. That's stupid."
Ruko smiled painfully. "I have. Yesterday, before I grabbed your arm, I was about to dash in front of the next car and see what happened."
A shiver ran along Rin as that person she hated so much said those words with no doubts or regrets. What was she meant to say to that? She knew she should have said something, anything, to try to convince Ruko not to think about that, but what came out was, "That's stupid."
Ruko smiled gently, almost wistfully, to the ground over the edge of the railing. "I know. But, even now, I'm wondering if you'd be able to catch me in time if I jumped over this railing."
Rin froze absolutely still. For once, an emotion other than distaste and hatred made its way into the gaze faced toward Ruko as she stared in lost desperation at her classmate. Could he be serious right now? Was he honestly considering jumping? When those hopeless eyes and weak smile made their was back to her once more, she knew they were true, all of Ruko's words. Quietly, Rin murmured, "Don't jump."
Ruko's smile grew a little sadder, and she said, "I would have, Rin, if you hadn't come here. I would have dashed in front of that car if you hadn't come. That's why I can't decide whether you're an angel or a devil." Rin flinched when Ruko shifted against the railing and tensed to run to save that person she hated if it came to that. "Kiyoteru told me that I made you cry, Rin. Thank you for crying for me." Gently, he requested, "And, so, I don't want you to end up scarred if I decide to jump. Can you please turn back and leave me in peace?"
Rin wanted to, terribly. So she turned around and placed a hand on the door handle. She couldn't turn it, though, so she whipped back around and stared at Ruko with desperate eyes, watching that person she hated turn. She ran across the roof toward her classmate and, in a last minute effort, cried, "Be my date for Christmas!"
Ruko had turned to the railing by then, toward the point of no return, but he stopped to gaze back over her shoulder at Rin. That hurt smile was still on his face as she wondered, "What?"
"Be my date for Christmas!" Rin repeated desperately, slamming Ruko against the railing when she couldn't stop her running in time. Unable to control the array of emotions she couldn't understand, she curled her hands around the fabric of Ruko's shirt and exclaimed, "You have to go out with me for Christmas, alright? Promise!" With teary eyes, she lifted a pinky to Ruko.
At first, Ruko eyed it emotionlessly. Then, gently, she took it in her own. "It's a promise."
. . .
She saw Ruko the moment she got off the bus, waiting by the brightly lit Christmas tree in the centre of the plaza. Couples walked around, innocently holding hands and smiling at one another. Rin frowned at that hateful person who'd yet to notice her arrival. She had to wonder what her black-haired classmate was thinking. The last two times they'd met, Ruko had been thinking of morbid things beforehand. Could he be thinking such things right now?
Rin's eyes fell to Ruko's outfit. It was a boyish outfit that day, she acknowledged, balancing well with the overly effeminate outfit Rin's own brother had forced her to wear. Rin felt redness creeping into her cheeks as she thought of the ribbons and bows tied into her outfit, worse than the red plaid bow swung onto the left of her head that was reminiscent of her usual white bow she wore. She looked too eager. Ruko was the worst kind of person, the kind of person she hated, the last person she wanted to be with on this day, so why was she forced to dress up like this?
Still, she made her way through the crowd and to her classmate, tapping on the zoned-out student's shoulder to win her attention. Ruko looked up at her and smiled. Rin hated the way he smiled when she knew she wasn't happy.
"Don't do that," Rin ordered.
Ruko's smile only fell a little, but the sadness laced in easily, honestly, with it now. "I'm sorry, but I can't help it."
Rin frowned. "I really hate that about you."
"I know."
It was quiet between them for a moment before Rin questioned, "Do you even want to be here?"
Ruko was gentle in his speech, that underlying sadness tugging at Rin's heartstrings and irritating her at the same time. "I'm not quite sure what I want to do right now. I figured that spending the day with you is better than spending it at home, and no one ever contacts me outside of school."
Rin stared up at the dual-coloured eyes of her classmate for a little while longer, ignoring the gazes that came from passersby. Ruko was over a foot taller than her, so she had to crane her head far back to stare at her from this proximity. It was strange to see that classmate outside of school, especially under these strange conditions. She wasn't sure what to do with herself.
"You don't want to be here with me."
Rin barely noticed Ruko's words, refusing to respond. Instead, she gripped the taller classmate's hand and began to drag him along through the sparkling lights of Christmas. She didn't say a single word to Ruko, either, pained enough by her presence. She glanced back every now and then to Ruko, bothered beyond need each time she caught Ruko's wistful gaze on something she assumed to be morbid. The night went on like that for about an hour until Ruko stopped, nearly yanking Rin's arm out by consequence. Rin turned to glare at Ruko, whose hand had gone limp.
"You don't have to do this," Ruko insisted, smiling that same horribly fake smile. "I know you don't want to be here with me."
Rin's only response was a glare. Ruko really was the kind of person she hated most.
"Neither of us wants to be here," Ruko continued, utterly crushed behind that kind smile. "Why don't we just call it a night?"
Rin stared quietly at Ruko once more before remarking, "If I send you home now, will you take care crossing the streets?"
Honestly, Ruko stated, "Probably not."
". . . Idiot."
Christmas lights shone around them, illuminating falling snowflakes. People rushed past, glaring at them as Rin stood facing her classmate, his hand still held in hers. The scenery was so beautiful that it was lost on the pair, that hated person and the one who hated her. Ruko's smile was still in place, and Rin's eyes still showed no emotion. Slowly, gently, Rin released Ruko, and they stood in the quiet of each other once more. It wasn't until a single tear carved its way down Rin's cheek that Ruko's smile fell and stayed fallen.
"You really are the worst kind of person," she said quietly, turning her back to that person and continuing a trail of footprints in the snow. She knew she wasn't followed, but she still refused to turn back even after she'd returned home.
. . .
On the first day that class started once more, Rin didn't even cast a glance at Ruko as the younger student joked with the other students about that sensitive topic that shouldn't have been laughed at. She opened a book her brother had loaned to her and began to read until Kiyoteru finally arrived. She let herself remain numb with the new knowledge she'd have to repeat in the night's homework until the bell signaled lunch and, after that, the end of the day.
She said nothing to anyone the next day, either, or the one after that. It wasn't until two weeks later, when she looked out her window and saw that person with blue streaks in black hair that she even looked someone in the eye. And, slowly, she descended to the outdoors and made her way to stand before Ruko.
"How do you know where I live?" she first questioned.
"I'm sorry for Christmas," Ruko apologized.
"I don't accept."
She could really kill a mood, and she knew that, but pity didn't surface this time at Ruko's hurt expression and polite smile. "I see."
"You haven't been hit by a car yet."
"I haven't. It turns out that it's harder than it looks."
She scowled, unsatisfied by this answer. "What do you want from me?"
"I wanted to apologize."
"Then leave."
A small sigh drifted from Ruko's lips. He prepared to leave, but then she stopped and stared Rin straight in the eye. Rin didn't flinch or waver. She continued staring on through. "Can I ask you one thing?"
There was no hesitance in Rin's answer. "No."
But Ruko asked anyway. "Why do you hate me?"
Rin didn't see why she shouldn't tell the truth. It made no difference, anyway. "Because I liked you, the kind of like where I might want to marry you some day. I tried to help you, but you wouldn't let me. Back then and on Christmas. That's why you're the worst kind of person. You couldn't see anything. That's why I hate you."
Ruko was quiet then, staring at Rin. And, without another word, Rin turned her back on her classmate and headed back into her house. While she didn't look back this time again, she knew that Ruko followed and closed the door behind them.
Author's Note: These are really different personalities than what I'm used to working with, but I rather enjoyed writing this. Well, let me know what you thought, reviews are appreciated! Thanks for reading!