A/N : hello minna ^^

I'm a new user here, though i've been reading, reviewing and everything as a guest for a while now.

My friend writes on fanfiction and she wanted me to upload this so, yeah, i finally gave in and got myself an account. And one more this i don't own fairy tail *fake cries*

Hope you like this.

Hey, do i need to mention your name?

I been thinking a lot lately and guess what i think i've finally figured it all out. I've got it all figured out for quite a while now and i wish i didn't because it isn't really helping with my situation. I assumed it would end in couple of days or weeks but oh boy was i wrong. It's grown into something that everytime i see you it feels a bit like acid reflux. My chest will begin to burn and it'll suddenly become quite difficult to swallow. And it'll be the most uncomfortable feeling—while it lasts. Or maybe it's also similar to that feeling when you wake up at 3am and realize you don't have to get up for work yet. That's mega weird, right? Well you already know I'm weird so it doesn't matter how i describe it.

When did it happen? I've no idea. How did it happen? I really don't know. Then again, it did start off as a crush, i just don't know how it turned out to be like this. Levy had foreseen my sweet misery, I had asked her not to worry about it, Now i just feel dazed. Everything changes the moment you look at the person differently. I started noticing intricate detail about you, like the curve of your lips, the frown line above your eyebrows the way you laugh, your eyes so gentle. I realized i adored you and could move mountains for you.

My heart seems to forget to do it's work when i see you around at the guild, sounds cheesy, doesn't it? But that's exactly how i feel. It's way past the limits to call it a simple crush and i know what it is. Love. Yes, I'm in love with you and it's been like a emotional rollercoaster ride for me ever since then.

My affection for you isn't graceful. It isn't tender and timid and patient and slow. It is a total chaos.

I go from smiling like a fool subconsciously when i see you around to my heart beating wildly at the mention of your name. I go from humming peacefully in the shower to having you spinning around in my dreams, reaching for you, longing for you, suddenly desperate to have your lips on mine. I'm sitting here, thinking about you like i do every day, trying to concentrate, but these fantasies of you hold me at bay. Imagining how great would it be if you gave yourself to me. Sweet heavens, I could drown myself in the sea of ecstacy. I dream about you running your hands through my hair, down my back, i wish i could feel your body pressed against mine, caught in the tempest of fire, delighted by love. To feel your kisses against my neck and my hands running over your perfectly toned body. Yes, i have a very creative imagination and right now you're running through it.. Naked.

I really can't help my thoughts when you're out there looking so hot and sexy. Seriously though, why do you look so amazing every day? I can't help but notice, it just keeps happening.

Sometimes i playfully pretend to know what your arms would feel like around mine, pulling me into a bear hug, to imagining us laughing and sharing food and dancing in the middle of the street like there's nothing in the world that could do us apart. I went from considering what it would be like to call myself yours to believing, wholeheartedly, in the prospect of us.

That's when i realized i'm falling for you.

Maybe they call it 'falling' because it's just that—you completely trip, slip, lose control, and crash into another person. Nothing makes sense or is thought through, I turned off the part of my brain that contained anything rational replacing them with giddiness and happy-anxious-nerves and hope.
Maybe they call it 'falling' because when you fall, you have no idea what could happen next. You could land on your face, your arms could break from the impact, you could tuck and roll and end up with less injuries than imagined, you could land perfectly without a scratch, or you could be rescued. You don't necessarily know where you'll land,or if you'll make it out unscathed, if someone's there to catch you. It just happen and you do it freely. One minute you think you have a handle on your emotions, the next you're sliding headfirst into someone else's heart.

And that's exactly what happened to me. I fell for you. Fast. Terrifyingly. Beautifully. My arms flailing, heart pounding, hands sweating, eyes twinkling and cheeks hurting from smiling too damn much..

But i've heard our guild mates talk about how cute you would look with her. Well everyone except for Levy, she knows about my crush on you and that is all. My heart aches just listening to them, but, i've seen it too. You both really look great together, no matter how much you deny that. I want to believe when you say there isn't anything going on between you guys and maybe that's my reason to continue chasing you. I keep thinking "What if he actually did like me?" "Should I just give up?" "Why can't I give up on him?".

I'm so confused and afraid right now. You are my "first love" and I don't know what to do with it. In the early days, it was fine because you inspired me. I wrote poems about you. You were one of the reasons who kept me inspired enough to write. That is part of the reason why I would never regret having the experience of loving you. I was always dramatic about the idea of love and I realized I can not hold it any longer. That's why i decided to pour my feelings into this letter. It always helped me. These feelings keep growing and this is the scariest part. It' feels like i can either free my sould and confess or die in torment to salvage the relationship we have. If i knew for sure that how i feel is mutual, there is absolutely no risk involved. But it is an excruciating experience that makes me wish i was hit by a train. It hurts to see you growing close to her. It hurts to keep going forward like it doesn't bother me and suddenly get pulled back. It hurts that i still want to get close to you even though you may not return my feelings. It freaking hurts, you damn idiot. The pain i feel is the sign that i should give up right? I keep telling myself that it'll be painful and i will need to stay strong, because maybe I will give up on whatever chance i may have with you. Unless i'm sure you don't have feelings for her.

I really suck at this, don't i? I haven't really tried and i'm already thinking about giving up. I guess this is how it works, or Maybe i'm just thinking way too much.

I hope one day i can muster enough courage to pick myself up and confess to you. So for now i don't think I'm going to do anything about it. I think I'm just going to let it be. I'm going to keep you as my dream person and not have reality ruin anything.

Love.

Lucy. H

I heard Levy gasp suddenly reading through one of the sheets of paper in her hand and raised a brow at her, confusion quite evident on my face.

"oh Lu-chan, why didn't you tell me about this sooner." Levy spoke softly, handing over the paper to me with a concerned and a slightly hurt look adoring her face.

"what are you talking about Levy-chan? , is something wrong with the new chapter i wrote". She shook her head a quick no, urging me to look at the sheet of paper she was just reading.

My eyes widened at realization of what it was. It must have gotten mixed with her manuscript that I brought over to the guild for Levy to read. I could feel my blush burn through my cheeks and my face felt like it's on fire. I suddenly felt awkward as i attempted to hide my face behind my skinny fingers. Levy seems to have found my reaction amusing, she shot me a teasing smile and giggled when she saw my blush deepening. I mentally groaned.

"Levy-chan, i'm so sorry for not telling you about it, Gosh, I feel so embarrassed. I was being ridiculous and thought about hiding my feelings and went on with it, I" I began only to be interrupted by a voice I knew to damn well. I froze in my seat, Panic settling in, palm sweating while my heart was pounding against her chest.

"Is that the new chapter of your book." I shot a glance at Levy and the look on her face confirmed my horror. I could feel the sweat drench my skin, the ringing screams vibrating in my ears, the thumping of my heart against my chest. Hesitantly, my eyes look at the said mage who already made it across our table and grabbed the sheets that was once in my hand. My stomach churned into tense cramps when he spoke again.

"oh what's this? " holding the sheets in front of him.

A/N : yay! So it's complete.

The pairing isn't decided yet. I'm leaving the ship to you guys.

I was thinking it could be Feed, Bix or Laxus. Or any other character for that being.

Posting this as one-shot for now but i may continue this later on.

Please be nice as it's my first time posting a story and leave a lot of reviews XD

Arigatou Minna ^^