Troubleshooter

"Seeking to forget makes exile all the longer;

the secret of redemption lies in remembrance."

Richard von Weizsaecker

01

CJ Parsons-Houston stood out on the back porch and looked across the pastures of the Texas ranch. Matt had left out at sunrise that morning on the back of the mahogany bay and hadn't been back since. She had spoken to him on the phone once to make sure he was okay; that had been at two in the afternoon. It was now almost eight in the evening and he still hadn't returned. Marty and the other cowboys had come in around five and she had expected him to be with them, but the foreman shook his head. "He's still out there workin'. I tried to talk him into coming back with us but he said he would be along later." She had thanked him and went back to help Sheila with the kids. Now she stood debating whether or not to take one of the trucks out to look for him. Just as her foot hit the top step she saw him riding slowly toward the house in the distance. A flood of relief washed over her and she went down to meet him at the barn.

It had been a long two months since Matt's trip to Mexico where he lost not only his cousin Will but his maternal grandmother that he had only met moments before. He had recovered from his physical wounds; mental wounds were proving to be slower. He had been deeply depressed. Thankfully he had agreed to talk to a therapist - the same one that he had recommended to Will to help him with his PTSD. Although he was no longer just sitting staring at the wall, he still kept quiet and stayed by himself out working on the ranch and the improvement - and there had been a significant amount - had been by degrees.

"Hey, Cowboy."

"Hey." He didn't look up at her but continued into the barn to remove the saddle and tack from the bay. She went to the tack room for grooming tools and a couple of rags. Although neither spoke, they worked on the horse as a team. In short order the gelding was cleaned up and being put into the pasture behind the barn. He leaned on the fence and looked out over the land.

"Come on in and eat your supper." She rubbed his back.

"Not hungry."

"You've been out working all day, hon. You need to eat." He didn't answer and she gently took his left hand in hers and tugged, turning him to face her. His eyes - although still filled with sadness - no longer held the blank expression that had signalled the start of his depression. "Come here." Putting her arms around his middle she squeezed him tightly, the smells of sweat, leather, horse, dust, and wood coming off of him.

Matt laid his head down on top of hers and pulled her closer, closing his eyes. He hated being like this and felt like he was letting CJ and the kids down. But it was so hard being around everybody. He knew that no matter what had happened life would go on and no matter how hard he tried or how many people told him that none of what had happened had been his fault, he had blamed himself. After many long hours of thought he was starting to feel differently about the situation.

They stood like that for several minutes. Finally she pulled away from him a little bit. "Now, come on in and eat before Madre Rosa throws another fit." She tugged his arm and grudgingly he followed.

"Another fit?"

"Yes." She wrapped her arm in his. "When you didn't turn up for lunch she almost threw a tantrum."

"Really."

"It wasn't pretty." She looked over at him. "So don't give her cause again." The reply was a nod and they went up the back steps and inside.

As soon as the kids heard his boots on the kitchen floor they materialized and began telling him all about their day. Catey Rose had recently celebrated a birthday and was more talkative than ever. The twins Mike and Vinny were every bit as mischievous as their dad had been at their age and were twice the trouble to their nanny and the other adults in the house. Even Tilly bounded into the kitchen glad to see her master and offered her paw in greeting. The half blue heeler - half husky mix was the self-appointed guardian of the Houston children and had her work cut out for her. And above it all was Madre Rosa, the longtime housekeeper of the Texas ranch who had helped to raise Matt from the age of five.

"There you are. Sit, hijo." She went to the microwave and removed his favorite dinner: beef fajitas with homemade tortillas and salsa. "Basta! Settle down." She barked at the children who quickly obeyed. Sheila came to the door and herded the kids upstairs to get ready for bed. "Now, you eat. And I don't mean pick at it. Eat it or I will take you across my knee." With hands on hips, the little woman - hardly over five feet - presented a formidable force. She sat down on the side opposite CJ to supervise. "You will dry up to nothing if you don't start taking better care of yourself." She wasn't overreacting: he had lost twenty pounds.

Silently he began eating, the flavor of the food lifting his spirits a little bit. He made an effort. "So what have the kids blown up today?"

"Not so much blowing up. It's been more of a pushing the boundaries kind of day. And of course Catey has been trying to lay down the law." That brought a chuckle from him. It was an encouraging sign. That was the first time it had happened since the trip to Mexico.

After he ate to the approval of the housekeeper, he went upstairs and could hear as nanny Sheila Wentworth attempted to wrangle the offspring into bed. His voice cut across the chaos. "Y'all settle down now." Immediately they obeyed.

"Daddy…" Catey, whose eyes were exactly like her mother's took him by the hand. "Would you please play a song for us?" He hesitated. "Please?" Her request was echoed by the boys.

"Promise you'll go to bed without any more fuss?" There was chorus of yeses. "Alright." The kids crowed. "Simmer down." They nodded, exchanging joyful looks. CJ brought the guitar to him and he sat on the foot of his daughter's bed and began strumming. "What do y'all want to hear?"

All three blurted out, "Home on the Range!"

"Alright." Matt began and the kids joined in while CJ, Sheila, and Madre Rosa exchanged smiling but tearful looks. He was finally coming out of it.