This, I think, may be my last Skins fic. I was intending for it to be a chapter/character-type thing so that I could try some more styles.
I try really hard, but since they're not sex-orientated and refer mostly to drink/drugs and characters feelings, I don't get many reviews. So, my silent readers, go and read Control, as I think it's my best, and take this as my farewell. Who works for nothing these days?
Dear Diary,
17th September
Okay, so I like him. A lot. I like him a lot.
He's not like the others... He's different. At least, he's different in that he tries to stand up for himself. I can't help but look at him in college, I catch myself staring at him. Thank god I don't sit next to him, my breath would catch in my throat or I'd make a fool of myself. Even cool, calm Naomi Campbell can make a fool of herself. Especially in front of the boy she fancies.
But I'm confused. Was what happened with Emily not just fun? I think it was, but maybe she thinks that it was serious. I mean, the kissing was good, it was fantastic. But it was just a bit of fun. A bit of doped up, drunken fun. We'd be better off as friends. Just friends.
Besides, it's alright for friends to kiss each other.
But he... I can't describe it. He's everything I want and I want him so badly. I could almost cry at my own frustrating lust for him. Well, maybe that's going a bit too far.
Oh, Emily's phoning, I'll have to go and write later. Byes!
Now that that is over.
I mean, how long can someone go on about how you should shag them? No, Cook, I don't want to shag you. You're a complete arsehole, an insensitive prick. I think I actually hate you.
Yeah, Emily roped me in to going out for a bit and we ended up in a park with everyone, having some spliff and vodka. Emily got drunk again. He was there, and sat opposite me in our circle, between Effy and Cook, and he was the one with the stuff. He handed me the joint first... Do you think it's a sign? He picked me over everyone, even Effy.
I don't like Effy much. She's too skinny, too forward, too flat. She hides behind a mask and doesn't think that anyone notices. And she thinks that no one else knows what she's thinking. Effy Stonem's that bitch who is out to ruin everyones lives just for the fun of it.
Why am I afraid to write his name? If I like it so much, then why can't I just write it out? Okay, it's Freddie. I hope I don't start writing Naomi *hearts* Freddie all over my notebooks, that would be embarrassinng, and just the kind of thing that I would drop on the floor in front of him.
I really have to go now, this stupid diary has been told my deepest secret. I think I'll burn this page. No one else needs to know, and it doesn't need to be kept as a carbon copy. The only copy that will exist will e the one in my head.
Byes, Naomi x