Introduction
Title:
'The Forbidden Florist'
Author:
Lady Rathe
Summary:
Harry, Hermione, Neville and Draco have detention. Nothing out of the ordinary, except Draco is naked, Hagrid appears to be hoarding herrings, the centaurs have a B.O problem and Voldemort is wearing red stilettos. Wackiness ensured.
Before You Begin Reading:
You must know two things about me. One, I am British and two, I am armed with a frighteningly weird sense of humour.
Now, this 'fic' came about because of a friend of mine who on several occasions during rapid speech, would fumble over the word 'forest' and would instead, end up saying: 'Forbidden Florist'. The images that formed in my mind were too delicious to ignore and so I wrote this story as a little present for her.
She loved it and then decided to blackmail me until I put it up on fanfiction.net. I regret to say that I had to give in to these threats and that is the reason you are being subjected to this terrible piece of writing. Blame her, not me.
Do Not Read If:
You are French.
You are a transvestite.
You are a huge Britney Spears fan.
You have no sense of humour.
All of the above.
Well, actually, you can read it, as long as you promise not to be offended. ^_^
A final note:
I LOVE Harry Potter and I am a HP purist, but this story is terribley out of character.You'll find that the characters are either out of character or are in character whilst out of character if you get my meaning? I suppose not.
To put it in a nutshell, it's crap. K?
Disclaimer:
This is an adaptation of the chapter 'The forbidden forest' in 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone' by J.K Rowling.
I have also borrowed Monty Python's 'Lumberjack Song' and rearranged the words to use it for my own sordid purposes.
I own nothing, I owe everything.
Onward…