"Thanks for this Kirishima." Deku and I started our night on the town by saying goodnight to my best friend and his family. Our son Mihashi noisily injected himself between us breaking up our departure. He usually did this to collect his tenth or eleventh hug. I don't think either of us minded. Deku was first. The hug involved many sound effects and two or three squeezes. I have to smile because of how funny it is. Mihashi turns to me and Deku speaks.

"Do you want to give Boppa a kiss goodbye?" Deku asks. His smile widens to that absurd Deku size I have learned to love so much. I see my son's head shake. I stifle my laugh as much as I can.

"No, no kisses for Boppa." I reach out and collect this tiny six-year-old in my arms.

"Oh yeah, then what can I have?" I ask a full smile on my face now.

"Face snuggles." Mihashi's demands for affection are always answered in our home. It's part of my path to change over the years. Mihashi calling me Boppa was a happy accident. Deku and I had agreed on Daddy for himself and Poppa for me. Mihashi never quite grasped the word and we just stopped worrying about correcting him around age three. I have no regrets about that.

I put Mihashi down after sufficient face snuggles had been delivered. I watched as he greeted his own best friend, Kirishima's son Keita.

"It's just for tonight we'll be over mid-morning to get him." Deku says. Tomorrow morning felt like forever away right now.

"No worries. You guys have a great night out. Bakugo, Midoriya. Goodnight."

"Bye." we both said in-sync.

There we were. The world's top hero duo. We were in stuffy suits and headed to a 'intimate press event' Deku was more nervous than I was. It was strange to think about. We were married for eight years last week and our first chance at a vacation was a press event. My husband and I, we were model heroes to the world. Now that world was going to hear the story of how that all happened.

"It's fine Deku."

"It's not. It feels too tight."

"Deku, I prom-"

I watch him fidget with his bowtie but it's the face clench that tells me he's bothered by something else. We're in our dressing room, no one can see us just now. I did what I've learned to do over the years.

"Izuku." The name drops with little force even as a whisper. "Just breathe okay?" He nods but I know he's not listening. I would have gotten mad about this years ago, but I understand him now. He knows me just as well. "with me-1-2-3 and in-2-3 and out-1-2-3 and in." Stress was something Izuku had to manage, just like some people had to manage diet or money or other such things.

Now we're standing backstage waiting to be introduced. Everyone knows we're close, but our marriage has been secret. Todoroki calls us a power couple. I want to blow him up, but Midoriya insists that he's just complimenting us. Tonight we're going to tell our story. The pain. The scars. The thrill of being heroes. It's going to be the naked truth. Now that I consider it, I'm not exactly fearless about this either.

This is our first joint press event ever and it took weeks of convincing for Izuku to agree to it. A night radio show called 'Hero: 1-on-1' with Takeshi Saito. His show is pretty damn famous for being raw and making his guests cry. We have the unique honor of the 2-on-1 format because I wouldn't agree to come alone. Izuku is a recluse, he doesn't do press. Me? I have a bit of a knack for it.

This Radio show has a live audience so it's not like my usual sharp verbal approach with reporters. Deku and I are listening to the monitor behind the curtain and waiting to be cued to walk into the studio. I hadn't really felt Deku's hand in mine until it got clammy. I wasn't sure if it was him or me who was sweating.

"Deku, I'll lead us out."

I see him swallow and nod slightly. He's still focused on keeping himself even. I recognize that war behind his eyes better than anyone.

"Tonight ladies and gentlemen, we have a pair of guests. Yes. We're breaking with our usual format to bring you a special exclusive. Since this show started I have asked staff to land this big one we have. Every time I hit the office I ask if we got it. We don't need to wait any longer. Please welcome the Deku and Ground Zero to the show."

We break the curtain and wave natural as the audience greets us with applause. Once I cross the stage to the hosts clear thin glass table I direct Deku to take a seat first so I can make sure he's okay. He was sore from some work earlier in the day. Once I take a seat my polite expression takes over. It's taken years to master and it hurts my face still.

"So glad to have you both here. Arguably the most famous heroes both on their own and together. Deku..."

He shakes Deku's hand.

"Ground Zero..."

"Good to be here Mister Saito."

"Yes. The world has certainly been wanting to hear from you both. I really hope I can use the next two hours to help tell your stories. Now..."

Saito pushes around some note cards.

"We all know you both weren't friends at U.A. in fact most who offered us info and pre-interview research called you bitter rivals."

"I wouldn't-ha-I wouldn't say bitter."

Deku's response catches me off guard. I expected to have to carry this entire interview. His laugh and smile let me think he was relaxing.

"Well, be that as it may, I was more curious about your early days as pros. You didn't work on anything jointly in the beginning, when did that change?"

We both look at each other. It's been more than ten long years since those days.

"Was it two years in?" Deku asks me.

"Two? It was right after the big bust on the drug ring. The big sixth month case I think. Two seems right." I hadn't really thought about it that much.

"Yeah. I was still doing mostly support then I think." Deku added.

Deku had All Might's quirk, but he was still learning the ropes as his power grew. Deku was working more as an insurance policy to help nail cases shut. My contact with the police insisted we bring him in on the bring down day to make sure all lose ends were tied up. It was shocking to see him after all that time.

Two years had changed him physically. He was taller and more muscular, but his face still held his normal plain features. As for his powers, he didn't quite have the speed down, but his ability to take on large groups of villains was not in question.

Deku did so effortlessly as if it was mechanical. When the other officers were asking him to attend the press conference to announce the bust, he declined. I stepped in, I thought he should offer something.

"No Ground Zero, this is your case. Don't worry about it. Okay?" I couldn't even retort, he sped out of there like he had somewhere to be.

We worked a pair of disasters some months later but again, he refused to do any press. This made me angry so I followed him at a distance to see where he was heading off to. I watched as he slid down a wall in a slim alleyway pulling his knees up to his chest. I thought he might be sick so I cautiously approached him.

I didn't realize how right I would wind up being.

"I really am just a useless Deku. 46 people died because I wasn't fast enough." I meant to say something, to tell him how stupid that was. We saved almost 300 people earlier, but I don't think he was talking to me though. I'm not sure he even knew I was there.

I don't really remember how much time passed before I tried to talk to him. All I remember was sitting down next to him starting to say his name and hearing a gurgling cough. I watched as his head pulled up from his crossed arms and blood was covering them flowing from his mouth.

"Hey Kacchan, I don't wanna die."

He said the words so weakly and in desperation that I could only think to yell for help. The next think that even comes to mind is being in the hospital and the doctor explaining what was happening to him.

"Stress Mr. Ground Zero. Far too much I'm afraid. He's got small blood clots all over. He has two ulcers in his stomach and stress damage to his intestines. We had to put him under and on blood thinners. If the blood clots move to his lungs or brain he could die. He can't be a hero anymore at this pace."

I wouldn't have stayed for any of this information but Deku's mother was his only family. She was out of the country on a vacation so I stayed to make sure I could pass along any important information. I left shortly after that and didn't think anything about it myself. However, the other heroes were talking. Deku's name was on everyone's mind. After a few weeks I checked back in to see how he was.

"Still in a coma but his body has responded well to treatments. He'll probably be able to go home in a few more weeks."

After the information from the doctor and talking about stress reduction, I decided to poke around and see what had triggered this event in the first place. I pulled up Deku's attached cases and even tracked down his address. I don't know what I expected to find. It definitely became clear once I saw his apartment. A single room, unassuming and dark. The walls are covered in notes and news articles. It looked exactly like a nerd's dwelling.

After about ten minutes, I put together what had happened. All the notes and articles had specific things highlighted. Death tolls. Every one of his cases was represented along with numbers of victims. Most of them confirmed deaths.

There was another number with everything, a percentage out of 100. I wasn't sure what it meant until I saw another set of notes.

'power at 42% based on All Might's calculations.' Pushing the limit 4 people still died. More training is required. I was in that place for a couple of hours surrounded by Deku's self imposed fortress of failures. I saw his training equipment. It seemed all he did was work, train and wallow in his failures.

"Why would you do this to yourself Deku, you idiot."

I was angry with him after this. I wanted to go right to the hospital and yell about how stupid he was, but I didn't. Instead I buried all that I knew at the back of my mind and left. I had work to do anyway, so that's what I did. Some weeks later I hear through casual conversation that Deku is back home on the mend. I was curious, but still didn't consider it too much.

Deku hadn't been on my mind regularly for a long time. It's strange to think about now because our lives are so different, but somehow he wasn't there. Then a call comes in across the scanner I have in my ear. Deku's address hits the waves and I couldn't make my way there any faster than I did. I climbed up through his window and saw him crumpled in the middle of his apartment floor. Crumpled papers everywhere. There's a slightly bigger than fist sized hole in his wall and another wall and another. Well, I knew why the call came.

"What the hell are you doing Deku?"

"Nothing. I'm not doing anything."

The words are so weak I couldn't even be sure I'd not imagined them. I saw some pages crumpled in his clenched fists. I decided to get a look at them to gather why he was upset enough to do something so reckless. I looked across the pile a few times but wasn't able to see much. Finally on the third pass, I saw the words 'Couldn't save Kacchan.'

I knelt involuntarily forced to relive the night I was captured by Villains. It was my fault, no one else had put me in that position. Yet, here this idiot was blaming himself. It was then that I started to put everything together. His sense of failure, the monitoring of his quirk strength. He was measuring his value.

I struggle you know….

To read others' feelings. I spend so much time fighting my own, afraid that they'll hurt me that it's hard to feel anyone elses. Deku though, he feels everyone's and his own, sometimes all at once. I don't really remember why I felt compelled but I started to grab the papers and toss them in the trash. Deku tried to fight a bit, but didn't have the will.

"You have to let this go Deku. Now."

"I can't-"

"You have to!"

"You don't get it!"

"I do!"

"No, you really don't! I have to be better! I couldn't even save YOU! You...you could have died. I thought you would. I wanted to die. If I'd not gotten so hurt-you were right there. I could have-*cough cough cough*

"Stop it." His words stabbed me and so I had to cut him off. As much guilt as he thought he carried for this, I carried more. "I'm not worth this much pain you nerd."

"You are to me. If you died…...I really….I really thought about killing myself."

"Why would you be so stupid?"

"Because I love you Kacchan."

This was the first time anyone ever told me they loved me. I didn't have any answer for it. I just sat there. Silent.

"Well Folks, on that note, it's time for a break to regain our composure. We'll be back in three minutes with Deku and Ground Zero in this very special Hero 1-on-1. Stay with us."

Saito pushes some tissues toward us. This is gonna be a long show.

A/N: The setting is a talk show/flashback format. In this, be aware that uses of knowledge that shouldn't be in the civilian populace such as names, all-might's quirk and key sensitive points are observed only in the host/guest exchange segments. There are at least 3 more chapters planned for this story.