I started writing this for my best friend Michaela as a birthday present and I thought I would share it here. Femslashy goodness in chapters to come! :] No pun intended..
Kahlan had brought up the idea for Richard's surprise party to Cara and Zedd weeks ago. It would be perfect. With the pace that they had set for themselves they were sure to arrive near a friendly town just in time for his birthday. Lately Kahlan had been feeling distant from Richard and she had hoped this would make it up to him. Now if only she could get those thoughts of Cara out of her head. If she was telling the truth they had started to creep into her conscious ever since she had looked into the eyes of a truly remorseful woman on the day Kahlan had spared Cara's life. The time alone with her while Richard was in the Old World didn't serve to aid in trying to banish the growing fondness in her heart for the snarky, sarcastic Mord'Sith, but she told herself over and over again that what she was feeling was merely the tenderness of friendship. She loved Richard and these feelings, whatever they were, shouldn't have any effect on that. So she trudged forward, pushing it all from her mind, and channelled her energy into planning his party.
Cara had been less than pleased about the idea of a celebration when they were supposed to be focusing on finding the Stone of Tears. These sorts of distractions seemed to get more numerous as time went on and she had hoped somehow that they would cease. But Richard Rahl was not a man who could be reasoned with on these matters and somehow he had seemed to instil that same stubbornness in the Mother Confessor. Or maybe she was just always like that… Cara didn't want to admit to herself that it was something she had become quite fond of over the months she'd known Kahlan and she especially didn't want to admit that her feelings for the woman were more than that of a mere travel companion. She was loath to say they were even friends let alone anything… more. But despite her constant efforts she could not get her out of her mind. There was nothing more frustrating than the control Kahlan seemed to have over her. So when she mentioned the party of course Cara had agreed to go along with it..
They had made camp for the night and Kahlan and Zedd were off to rendezvous with the Duke for the party while Cara and Richard prepared food for the night. Cara, still not overly thrilled about the whole thing, was just looking forward to eating some real food.
"It's a good thing Mord'Sith are used to torture…" Cara said dryly as she stirred the foul looking substance in the pot, "because that's exactly what eating this stew will be."
"Well maybe Kahlan and Zedd will find some mushrooms," Richard said unconvincingly.
"It's going to take more than mushrooms to save this."
After a short silence they heard rustling in the forest moving towards them and Richard drew his sword. Kahlan emerged from the brush, frantic.
"We went into town for provisions. Gars attacked."
"Where's Zedd?" Richard said in a rush.
"Trying to fight them off!"
The three of them went quickly to the town to assist Zedd and Kahlan led them into a dark structure.
"Zedd followed them in here" Kahlan said quietly as they crept through the building.
Suddenly there were lights and what looked like some form of magical confetti and a large group of people shouted "Happy Birthday!"
Kahlan smiled and leaned in close to Richard. "We couldn't celebrate with that awful meal, now could we?"
Richard turned to Cara. "Were you in on this too?"
"I suggested we celebrate your birthday the Mord'Sith way."
"I didn't think Mord'Sith celebrated birthdays."
"We don't."
As Richard was pulled away by Zedd to meet the host of the party Duke Anders and his son Erik, Cara surveyed the scene. People were joyously conversing with one another, all excited about the prospect of celebrating the Seeker's birthday with the great man himself. Pathetic.
"Would you honour us by leading the first dance, Seeker?"
"He'd love to." Kahlan said as she grabbed Richard and started to dance. Kahlan knew this was what should be making her happy and yet somehow she couldn't stop her eyes from drifting to the sullen Mord'Sith across the room.
Zedd approached Cara. "Care to join them?"
"I'd rather fight gars." Nothing could have been closer to the truth at that moment although her reasoning behind that statement was not what most would think. Watching Richard and Kahlan dance so happily together had given her an emotion she would rather not feel, but she could literally taste the jealously on her words as she watched them move closer together and kiss. This was going to be a long night.
Kahlan had not felt that spark she was hoping for. As soon as she realised that there was something missing from her kiss with Richard she had wanted to pull away, but she knew that this was what was right. Just because she had been slowly developing feelings for Cara did not mean that she didn't love Richard anymore. Right? It was getting more difficult to tell as time went on and the thought of ever breaking his heart pushed Cara from her mind and she continued dancing with the obliviously happy Seeker.
Zedd, Richard, Kahlan, and Cara sat in seats facing a stage as a local magician performed tricks for them. Both Cara and Kahlan were trying not to focus on the proximity of their bodies as they clapped along with the crowd. This whole thing was starting to bother Kahlan. She had just wanted to give Richard a wonderful birthday and she wanted everyone to have fun, but here Cara was, looking bored as ever, slapping her right hand against her thigh almost lethargically. Frustration boiled under Kahlan's skin, but she refused to let that wipe the smile off of her face. She was determined to make this fun despite being simultaneously angry and completely enamoured with the Mord'Sith.
When Kahlan cued back into the scene before her the magician, Cormac, was speaking. "I'll need a volunteer," he said while looking over at Cara. "You, my dear."
"I don't think so." There was no way Cara was going to participate in this drivel.
"Cara, it's a party," Kahlan said with a hint of a patronizing tone in her voice. "You're supposed to have fun."
Cara sighed and stood almost completely against her will. Another thing the Mother Confessor was able to cajole her into doing.
Kahlan beamed. Maybe having fun was not going to be as difficult as she thought. Messing with Cara by making her part Cormac's performance had brought her much needed satisfaction.
"I can only hope the Mord'Sith will not turn my magic against me," Cormac joked.
"Just get this over with."
"I'll need another volunteer. Perhaps the Mother Confessor."
"All right." Kahlan had not seen that coming, but acquiesced all the same. It was her that had insisted that this was supposed to be fun after all.
"Now, if you ladies could step into these boxes... Appreataro!" There was a flash and Cormac spoke once more. "Seeker, would you like to see your friends again?"
"Wherever we are, we aren't getting out this way," Kahlan said with a groan as she searched the walls of wherever they were for any signs of an exit.
After they had stepped into the boxes they had quickly arrived in some sort of dark tomb with only the flicker of the torches for light. In the centre of the tomb there was a small table with an hourglass, journeybook, parchment and concave stone set upon it. Cara walked toward the table.
"Kahlan," Cara called to get the Mother Confessor's attention. Kahlan walked over to where Cara was and picked up the parchment. "What does it say?"
"You have one day until the sands run out. And when they do, so does your air."
"You were right. This party is lots of fun," Cara said sarcastically.
The two women glared at each other as each though of the predicament they had gotten themselves into. Cara was not sure that she could be trapped in a small enclosed area with Kahlan and still not act on all the feelings she sure as hell was not supposed to be feeling. She was a Mord'Sith for fuck's sake. The only feelings she was allowed to have were anger, loyalty, and pride. Right now, she would be focusing on anger. She cursed the Mother Confessor for forcing her to partake in the little 'trick' that blasted Cormac had performed. Cara probed the walls of the tomb some more as Kahlan flipped though the jouneybook.
"There's a message. It's from Richard. He wants to know if we're all right."
Seeing Kahlan's smile as she said the word 'Richard' made Cara's blood boil.
"Then we'd better write him back."
Cara sauntered up to Kahlan and reached down to grab Kahlan's dagger from her thigh. The assertiveness of her movements made Kahlan's stomach clench as she felt herself get wet. Kahlan couldn't seem to control either her thoughts or her libido when Cara did things like that. She tried to keep a neutral face as Cara sliced the palm of her hand and blood dripped into the concave stone.
Cara held the quill in her hand for only a moment before quickly writing out a message to Richard. We're trapped in a tomb with only a day's worth of air. Get us out of here so I can strangle that old magician with his own entrails. 'That ought to do it,' Cara thought. She would truly love to do more than that to the man responsible for this.
They had gotten a response from Richard that asked to look for anything that might help identify the tomb, but their search had come up fruitless with nothing but rock (and more rock) to find. After sending a message back to him with the news that there was nothing to be found Kahlan suggested they at least try to dig their way out with her daggers. They set forth with the truly monotonous task and Kahlan let her mind wander. She desperately needed to get out of this tomb before she did anything she would regret. Kahlan couldn't help but think about her current circumstances. 'Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing to not be with Richard forever… I always thought he was the only person I would ever love, but if that ever changed would it be fair to either of us for me to stay with him? I don't want to think about this. I just want to get out of here.'
Kahlan's strong arms working on the wall so close to Cara provided a nice distraction from the sounds of the daggers tapping into the wall. Even if she couldn't have feelings for the Mother Confessor it didn't mean she couldn't admire her beauty. Cara had taken many men and women to her bed (and to other various places) and she couldn't help but to imagine what it would feel like to push Kahlan against the hard wall and have her way with her. Sucking on her soft flesh… burying her fingers deep into… "This is pointless. We've been at it for hours" she said before finishing her thought.
"We can't just sit here and do nothing."
"We'll have run out of air long before we dig our way out of here."
"It's not helping that these torches are burning air faster than we are."
"Then we'll have to find a way to snuff them out," Cara said and smirked as a thought came to her mind. "You can use your clothes. I would offer mine, but…," she raised one of her eyebrows with a mischievous grin, "I do not wear anything underneath my leathers."
Kahlan blushed at the thought of a very naked Cara and almost rose to the bait Cara seemed to be placing in front of her. Instead she slowly removed the outer layer of her clothing. 'Two can play this game,' she thought before realising that this may all be in her head. 'Who's to say she's even interested. I'm sure I'm just flattering myself.'
Cara's smirk slightly faltered as Kahlan removed her clothes and she felt a lump in her throat. 'Well.. this was my idea..'
Kahlan briskly walked over to one of the torches and looked up. "I'll have to stand on your shoulders to reach. I hope you don't have any trouble holding me up." Cara scoffed and rolled her eyes at that and walked over to boost the taller woman onto her shoulders.
"I am Mord'Sith. I can take a little bit of weight Mother Confessor."
Kahlan was just out of reach of the torch and continuously swiped the garment at the flame hoping to extinguish it. "I can almost reach it. Stand on your toes."
"I am," Cara managed to say bitterly between clenched teeth.
Kahlan attempted a few more swipes before losing her balance and falling backwards onto the dirt floor. She sat up slightly breathing heavily and coughed. Her arms were covered in a fine layer of sweat that didn't go unnoticed by the Mord'Sith.
Cara tore her eyes away from Kahlan's body and spoke. "The torches are using less air than we are trying to knock them out. The air is getting thinner."
There was a long pause as Kahlan thought hard about the situation. She couldn't let them both die in this wretched tomb. And then an idea crossed her mind. Maybe.. just maybe.. she could.. "There's one way to double how long it lasts." She gathered up the courage to do what she must and was more determined as she turned to Cara. "Kill me."
Cara was flabbergasted to say the least. She couldn't possibly be serious. "Has the lack of air drive you mad?"
"It could give Richard the time he needs to find us. And when he does, you can give me the Breath of Life."
Cara could simply not conceive of killing Kahlan. This idea was nonsense. She couldn't even look at her anymore. 'It's not that I care about her..' she thought. 'I have a duty to Lord Rahl and he wouldn't want this.' Worried that she wouldn't be able to control the emotions that crossed her face and afraid they would give her feelings away, Cara stood with her back facing Kahlan. "As tempting as the offer to kill you may be... Richard would never forgive me if I let you die."
"But I'd only be dead for a short time. And then you could bring me back."
'No. No. What if I can't bring her back…' "It's too big a risk. We don't know how long it's going to take Richard to find us." Cara couldn't bear the thought of the light in Kahlan's bright blue eyes snuffed from her by Cara's own hand. Before thinking too hard on why that might be she quickly came to the only conclusion that was logical to her. She parted her lips slightly in a small smile "But there is another way." She finally turned around to face Kahlan, her decision final. "I'll die instead."
"I can't bring you back." Kahlan panicked. This was not supposed to happen.
"But you can live." She smiled slightly. It was all very simple to her. For once she could do something worthy to help this woman who had once spared her life. This beautiful woman whose sister was slain by Cara herself.
"Cara, no. If you die your death would be final." Kahlan couldn't believe she was willing to give her life for hers. There would be no bringing her back. She decided right then that she would not let that happen. Cara's willingness to sacrifice herself made Kahlan just that much more fond of the Mord'Sith she had grown to care about deeply.
"Better one of us than both of us."
"Cara please, don't. You're being rash. It would be much wiser if I were the one to die. At least think this over," Kahlan said trying to buy time. She was relieved when Cara sat down and Kahlan joined her.
Cara now knew that she would be returning to the underworld for a final time. She had sat to compose her thoughts. She couldn't ignore what she was feeling anymore. She cared about the Mother Confessor, about Kahlan Amnell. All these times she had told herself it was weak to have these feelings just didn't matter anymore in this moment. Soon she would be gone and it wouldn't matter anyway. She had never felt this before, but she was 100% sure that she... that she… loved Kahlan. And yet how could she tell her this and then leave her. What would Richard, someone she felt was not only her Lord, but her friend, think of her confessing her love. She couldn't just say nothing. "You were right."
"About what?"
Cara couldn't bring herself to look Kahlan in the eye. It was taking all of her strength to say this. "You once told me that it's a hard world, and that we don't get many chances to tell people how much they mean to us." Cara paused and Kahlan looked over at her. "There's no one a Mord'Sith should hate more than a Confessor." Kahlan wasn't sure where Cara was going with this. "I was trained to hate you." There was another pause as Cara collected herself for the hardest part. "But I don't." Kahlan's heart soared. Could Cara really feel the way about her that she wished she would? "And I don't want to die without you knowing..." Kahlan leaned forward even more, worried about the Mord'Sith, "that I consider you to be.." the woman I love the woman I love thewomanIlove "my friend," Cara barely managed to get out. It would have to be enough. It was true that Cara felt friendship with Kahlan, but she was now acutely aware that it was so much more than that.
In that moment, Kahlan could not have hoped for anything more. The words that Cara spoke meant so much to her. She could not contain the smile that reached her face. She definitely had it bad for the Mord'Sith and she knew once they got free from this tomb she was going to have a lot of explaining to do whether or not Cara was interested in something more with her. But for now… "I think of you as a friend too," she said with all the caring in her voice that she could muster. She almost involuntarily quickly wrapped her arms around Cara and pulled her into a hug.
The feeling of Kahlan so near to her made Cara nervous, but slowly she began to sense the comfort the embrace brought. She slowly raised her hand and placed it on Kahlan's arm. The heat emanated from Kahlan's body and Cara finally felt like she could just let go. She finally relaxed into the hug and closed her eyes inhaling the sweet scent that was Kahlan.
Kahlan felt Cara's hand on her arm and she suppressed a shudder. Nothing had ever felt so good to her in her entire life. It was almost too much to handle, this proximity to Cara. She wasn't sure how much more she could take without placing her lips onto Cara's neck and trailing a line of kisses up to her supple lips. "We're going to get out of here," Kahlan said and let go of Cara. She didn't want to do something while she was still devoted to Richard. Right. Richard. "We both know Richard. He's coming for us. He just needs a little more time." Kahlan put her hand to her mouth in a nervous gesture dearly hoping that he would come soon before she acted on her feelings.
"I know," Cara stated resolutely and stood. "And I'm going to make sure he gets it."
Cara reached to grab the dagger from the ground and aimed it at herself ready to plunge it into her chest, but Kahlan shouted, "Cara, no!" and grabbed her arm to stop her. They struggled and then Kahlan managed to knock Cara away and the dagger fell to the floor. Both women stared intensely at each other, both determined to come out the victor in this fight.
"Get out of my way." Anger laced Cara's voice.
"No."
The sexual tension between them mixed with Kahlan's desperate need to save Cara from herself and Cara's struggle to save Kahlan by taking her own life sucked more of the oxygen from the already dwindling air supply. The sand in the hourglass continued to tick down the time they had before there would be no air left at all and it was dangerously close to running out.
Cara stepped forwards and made a move for the dagger, but not before Kahlan grabbed her arm, threw it back, and slapped her hard across the face. Cara flipped back her head and held her hand to her mouth before backhanding Kahlan. Both women were now fully taken in by the energy of the battle. Cara grabbed Kahlan by her front only to have her hands knocked away and several of her blows blocked. Kahlan would not give in so easily. She was aware that her opponent was formidable, but her desire to have Cara alive was so strong that she was able to ignore the ache in her chest to twist Cara's arms and push her back against the wall. The irony of Kahlan doing just what earlier Cara had imagined doing to her was not lost on her, and, despite the fact that she was trying to kill herself, she could not stop the wetness from pooling between her strong thighs. Cara momentarily ignored her sexual desire that was brought to the forefront from the passion of the fight and rushed Kahlan's middle and pushed her roughly against the wall. They each in turn attempted punches towards the other, but were unsuccessful. Kahlan spun around and smacked Cara in the face with both of her fists. The desire was building up inside both of them and Cara flipped her hair back, a crazy, lust-filled, thrill-of-the-fight look in her eyes. Cara's strength has been dwindling from a combination of exertion and not being able to breathe. She attempted two punches, but Kahlan dodged both and rushed her, wrapping her arm around Cara's neck from behind. Cara, now frustrated, grabbed the arms wrapped around her with both hands. She couldn't believe Kahlan would put up such a fight just so that she could stop Cara from saving her life.
"Stop pretending my life means as much as yours," Cara panted out before elbowing Kahlan in the stomach, causing her to gasp, and freeing Cara from her hold. In a last-ditch effort she then grabbed Kahlan's arms and flipped her over onto the ground.
Kahlan hit the ground hard with a thud. Cara breathed hard and backed up against the wall nearly completely out of breath. Kahlan gasped hard for air with wide eyes and Cara slid down the wall to fall on the ground. Both women were panting and gasping for air.
"There's...no air... left," Kahlan just got out. The only thoughts that ran through her mind were that of Cara. Now she would never get to tell her how she felt. She would never get to taste that mouth. She would never get to experience anything with her. Any small chance she ever had was diminishing just as the sand in the hourglass. She looked over to Cara's hand and grasped it with hers wishing to convey all the things she would never get to say. Cara squeezed back as tightly as she could with the hope that, in her last seconds of life, she could show Kahlan that she loved her. Their hands stayed together as the last torch flickered out completely.
"Kahlan! Cara!" Richard shouted as he entered the tomb. He ran over immediately to Kahlan when he saw her body sprawled out on the dirt floor. "Are you alright?"
Kahlan smiled at Richard. She had resigned herself to death and when the air returned to her lungs she couldn't have been happier. She would live another day, she still had a chance to be true to herself. But here was her saviour, Richard, worried about her. She couldn't face him with all of this yet. "We are now. I knew you'd find us in time." Kahlan had lied, but now was the time to boost Richard's ego, not to crush him. It was, after all, still his birthday.
Richard leaned in to kiss Kahlan and she acquiesced, but stopped as soon as she heard Cara's voice.
"I'm fine," she said with irritation. Even in this moment that irritation was half due to the man attempting to help her up and half because of Kahlan and Richard's kiss. She cursed herself for acting like some lovesick youth.
Kahlan looked around from Richard to Cara to the other man. "Where's Zedd?"
Richard and Zedd later explained to the women that Cormac had a grudge against the Duke for sending his sons to die in a war while the more privileged men's lives were spared. He had attempted to blackmail Richard into killing these men by threatening to let Cara and Kahlan die. When this had proved to be a failure he tricked Richard into releasing something called a Nygaxx. This Nygaxx eventually got hold of Zedd and Cara had to use her agiels to bring him to the brink of death in order to free him from the Nygaxx's hold. In the end, the Nygaxx wrapped itself around Duke Anders and they were able to trap it in a crypt.
Although these events seemed dramatic, Cara and Kahlan couldn't stop thinking about what had happened between them in the tomb. Cara had started to severely regret ever saying anything to Kahlan. If she had known that they would be rescued she wouldn't have so stupidly confessed her feelings. Kahlan on the other hand only thought of all the wonderful things Cara had said to her. She fell more deeply for the Mord'Sith every time she replayed the events of the tomb in her head.
As they walked along a path, with Kahlan and Cara side by side and Zedd and Richard trailing behind them, Kahlan couldn't keep her eyes off of the blonde. Cara noticed this and nervously stroked her neck.
"You were wrong before," Kahlan said, "Back in the tomb. Your life is just as important as mine is." She meant what she had said with every ounce of her being. Cara would not meet her eyes. "If it weren't for you, we wouldn't have been able to free Zedd from the Nygaax." Kahlan smiled at the bravery Cara had shown and was always showing to save the lives of the people she cared about.
"About what I said back in the tomb..." Cara said looking down.
Emotion welled up inside of Kahlan. "It- It really meant a lot to me."
"Forget I said it," Cara said quickly raising her eyebrows slightly, "I was delirious from the lack of air."
Cara walked on ahead hoping that would end the discussion about any feelings she might or might not have. She wished they could just move on from what happened that day.
Kahlan slowed down her pace, mouth slightly agape from the 180 Cara had done in comparison to how she had acted in the tomb. She realised this was just Cara's defence mechanism and chuckled as she put her hand on her forehead, shaking her head with an amused expression on her face. 'What am I going to do with that woman?' she thought to herself exasperatedly.
"Is she all right?" Richard said concerned as he caught up to Kahlan.
Kahlan smiled even bigger. "She's…" She shook her head slightly and, unable to keep the love out of her voice, simply said, "Cara."
Richard looked a bit worried and Kahlan tried to quell the feeling that she was somehow betraying him by changing the subject. "I'm sorry you didn't get a night of fun. Not even on your birthday." She truly was sorry that she had been unable to even provide him with that.
"Well, you sure know how to throw a party. Can't wait to see what you do next year." Sarcasm laced his voice.
Meanwhile Cara walked ahead lost in her own thoughts and she could hear Richard and Kahlan laughing together. Cara shook her head, trying to physically rid it of the jealously. She would just have to carry on as things had always been. Although that was looking like a harder and harder task as time went on…