Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles
title: No Words At All
author: River2027
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Terminator
setting: after "tower is tall"
genre: drama/angst
rating: T
warning: contains spoilers for "tower is tall"
summary: John finds comfort in an unexpected person. Slight John/Cameron
"In 1678, Doctors diagnosed the mental affliction soldiers suffered from as 'nostalgia'. So homesickness. A longing to return to the past. The cruel reality of war is that there is no return home. No return to innocence.
What is lost is lost forever.
Like my father, war's wounds have bled me dry.
No words of comfort.
No words of forgiveness.
No words at all."
John Connor sat silently on his bed, headphones covering his ears, listening to a song Riley had just shown him a few days ago.
"I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare. I'm just a kid, I know that it's not fair. Nobody cares cuz I'm alone and the world is having more fun than me."
Riley didn't know how much the song rang true for him. How much more disturbing could his life get? He was only sixteen and all his life he'd been on the run from futuristic killing machines sent to terminate him because in the future he's a great military leader. He'd been shot at, seen his mother blow heads of Terminators, seen her wounded. He'd time traveled over eight years of his life. He'd seen his father as a six year old boy, and he'd seen his uncle who'd come from the future. He'd seen a pretty girl in his high school class get shot twice in the chest…then come to his rescue. He'd seen that same girl, that Terminator, prevent him from helping a troubled classmate as she fell to her death from the roof of his school. He'd seen the faces of people who would die for him in the future.
He'd seen too much.
He leaned back, remembering Dr. Sherman's words. "You get to be a kid," he'd said. John had shaken his head slowly, voice splitting with emotion as he solemnly replied, "No."
John yanked the headphones out, no longer in the mood to listen. He looked up and was momentarily startled to see Cameron standing in his doorway. She had an annoying habit of sneaking of on him when he least expected her. He waited for her to speak, but she just stood there watching him…almost sadly, John realized. He knew he hadn't been friendly to her as of late, though he certainly had the right. She was only a machine after all.
She didn't say anything. She simply walked over and sat on the bed next to him. Slowly, almost hesitantly, she put her hand over his. John closed his eyes, forgetting the metal that was beneath the warm flesh.
And finally he broke down, overwhelmed by everything that had taken place these past few days. The nausea he still felt when he remembered how easily Sarkissian's neck had snapped, the look on his mother's face as she rushed to his side. The stress he was feeling over the coming of Judgment Day and everything they were doing to prevent it. Guilt from what Derek Reese had told him, Martin Bedell's sacrifice. We all die for you. In his dreams he was haunted by visions of the future, of burning Terminators, a world on fire. He was confused about his situation with Riley and what she thought of him. The way he'd almost accidentally ended his life due to carelessness. He knew what had been going through their minds when they saw him holding the gun, the burn on his cheek.
But most of all – at the forefront of his mind - was her. Cameron Phillips, his beautiful Terminator protector, the words she'd spoken before he'd pulled her chip, the words that would be burned into is mind forever…
He laid his head against her, sobbing softly into her shoulder.
She still didn't speak, but he didn't care.
No words were necessary.
No words at all.
finis